Your “Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday” Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Someone finally paid for the Seahawks missing the playoffs, and it’s………Darrell Bevell, offensive coordinator since 2011.

  • Well, it’s also now looking like Tom Cable (fired!) and Kris Richard (“pursuing other opportunities“!) are done with the Hawks as well.
    • To reference a tweet WCS made me aware of:

Now seems a good opportunity to reflect on the good times the Seahawks have provided DFO. You will be missed, Rage Monster Tom Cable.

  •  Hirings!:
    • The hot coaching rumour of the day is Matt Patricia to the Giants.
      • Hopefully as early as this weekend, if don_t can get Mariota to play ball on the matter.
    • The flattest coaching rumour of the day is Mike Pettine to the Packers, to replace Dom Capers.
      • Apparently, a 10-22 record in Cleveland gets you fired.
    • The PFT-iest rumour of the day is Mike Shula to the Seahawks.
      • Given the rebuild he did on Cam Newton, Florio suspects that Pete Carroll will be looking for someone who can cater to Russell Wilson’s strengths. Mike Shula might fit that plan.
  • Given all the regime change in Cleveland – they added Ron Wolf’s son Eliot this morning – Joe Haden has words about his departure for the Steelers.
    • “They were going to pay Brock Osweiler $16 million and he’s not even on the team [after being signed and cut this summer],” Haden told Sports Illustrated, “and they wanted to cut money from me!”
  • The League announced that Baker Mayfield will not be excluded from the combine due to his arrest & conviction on charges from February 2017.
    • The distinction between him & Joe Mixon is that Mayfield’s incident didn’t involve violence, just intoxication.

Facts about Pugsley Addams: (I’ll leave the Wednesday gifs for the comments)

  • Original name: Pubert (changed due to 1964 sensibilities)
    • Given to the baby in Addams Family Values in tribute to Charles Addams.
  • Played by:
    • TV:
      • 1964 series: Ken Weatherwax
      • 1970s animated series: voiced by Jodie Foster
      • 1998 series: Brody Smith
    • Film:
      • Jimmy Workman (Addams Family, Addams Family Values)
      • Jerry Messing (Addams Family Reunion)
        • he played “Gordon Crisp” on Freaks & Geeks

Because I’ve got nothing else to add into the middle of this post, I thought I’d look ahead to key 2018 dates on the NFL calendar:

  • January 31:
    • Deadline for NFL clubs to try out and negotiate with CFL players whose 2017 contracts are due to expire at 12 noon, New York time, on February 13.
  • February 13:
    • Beginning at 12 noon, New York time, NFL clubs may begin to sign players whose 2017 CFL contracts have expired. Players under contract to a CFL club for the 2018 season or who have an option for the 2018 season are not eligible to be signed.
  • February 20:
    • First day for clubs to designate Franchise or Transition Players.
      • Deadline: March 6, 4:00PM ET
  • March 12-14: Beginning of unrestricted free agency contact & contract negotiations.
  • March 14:
    • The 2018 league year and free agency period begin at 4:00 p.m., New York time.
      • Open Thread!
  • April 20:
    • Deadline for Restricted Free Agents to sign offer sheets.
  • April 26-28:
    • 2018 NFL Draft, AT&T Stadium, Arlington, TX.

That should get us through the majority of the offseason. Otherwise, pitchers & catchers report in 33 days, on February 13.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Senators at Leafs – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
    • Wild at Blackhawks – 8:00PM | NBCSN
  • NBA:
    • Thunder at Timberwolves – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Clippers at Warriors – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN
  • NCAA:
    • Duke at Pittsburgh – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Notre Dame at Georgia Tech – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Xavier at Villanova – 8:00PM | FS1
    • Georgia at Missouri – 9:00PM | ESPN2
    • TCU at Texas – 9:00PM | ESPNU
    • Colorado at Southern California – 10:00PM | FS1

It’s never too soon to conceive an off-season writing project for yourself. THERE IS ALWAYS CONTENT TO BE MINED!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Unsurprisedyeah rightMr. AyoSenor WeaseloBrettFavresColonoscopy Recent comment authors
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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yeah right

There’s a very cool show on HBO about the last 5 years of David Bowie’s life.

Highly recommended.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Apropos of nothing, a hearty fuck you to Darrell Issa on being too much of a pussy to run again. Also fuck that guy in general.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Can't wait for Issa to burn down Congress for the insurance money.

— pizza(roll)gate (@Mendel_OP) January 10, 2018

Senor Weaselo

Senor had a 4-hour dress for Fiddler tonight, so here’s the best song from that show no it’s not Matchmaker. (Unfortunately I couldn’t find the recording I was looking for, but close enough.)

rockingdog
rockingdog

Dubs vs clippers is surprising!
Lu Williams getting points.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Scripted entertainment.

rockingdog
rockingdog

New flavors?
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Get the marketing guys in here, pronto!!!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY I CALL HIM KIRK VAN HOUTEN CAUSE HE JUST ATE HIS DINNER OVER THE KITCHEN SINK WHILE USING THE BACK END OF HIS TOOTHBRUSH AS A UTENSIL CAUSE HE IS STAYING IN AN OTHERWISE EMPTY HOUSE.

theeWeeBabySeamus

She finally left ya, huh?
/hopes that’s not really true

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, goodness, no. I’m in Vegas for CES (in fact I met some guys from Case Western who are working on a sideline concussion protocol test) and staying in my friend’s parents’ retirement home which they have not moved into yet.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit, I’m totally not jealous in the least.

Mail me some weed.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was hoping to wrangle an invite to one of the hospitality suites but failed. I did run into some showgirls in a back alley, though (true, but not particularly interesting story).

theeWeeBabySeamus

Imma be on your coast again in May, btw.
You’re not ducking me this time.

2 glorious weeks for me to stalk you….errrrrrr, meet up.

yeah right

Did you bring back up lighting?

Wakezilla

Would you like to borrow a feeling?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What is sad is that I really could benefit from someone loaning me a spoonful of sugar (or “love” as it’s known in Andy Reid’s parlance).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

-So Don: the Army Corps of Engineers has been in charge of restoring power in Puerto Rico. Is there any spokesman that can summarize its performance?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gotta pack.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Imma just live in the past for a sec.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also; searching for “Marsha Brady football hits face” brings up a bunch of Tommy GIFs.

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Senor Weaselo

GO FOR THE TRUCK STICK VON!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Now that snow left, any DFOers live in Austin?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog
rockingdog

Dubs vs Clippers. Should be good?

monty this seems strange to me

Will & Grace and Roseanne are back but what the world really wants, nay needs, is an Alf reboot.

monty this seems strange to me
Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

And every viral cat video can end with Alf pouncing and eating that stupid cat.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Except for Keyboard Gato. He’s all right.

Don T

But now Alf lectures millenials who are cat owners.
Nah. Too high concept. Definitely for a movie franchise.

litre_cola

Just give me my god damn WKRP in syndication!

monty this seems strange to me

You spell Cincinnati weird.

litre_cola

It is metric.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“We don’t believe in eating pussy”
–MRAs

rockingdog
rockingdog

Da fuk?

Senor Weaselo

Does Pog form count?

litre_cola

Evening sparse crowd, hope you are all well. In a few days we will get all of our Foles filled.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Bear the fuck Down!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Did someone say filling foals?”
-J. Elway

Don T

Final count: 112 straight days without electricity. I’m gonna take a hot shower. Good night.

litre_cola

Think of all of the money you saved!

/you already know my stance on this ridiculousness

herodotus450
herodotus450

Think of those poor electric utility companies who missed out on 30% of their yearly revenue! Just kidding, they will add a new “Act of God” Rider on to the bill from now until the end of time.

Don T

Had to put straight. Next stop: blackouts. 🎉

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thank goodness. I can smell ya from here.
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Seriously, really happy for ya.
Also really sorry you’ll be able to see this weekend’s game.

Don T

I’m on record: Tits 30 – 27 Pats. And my personal hygiene is beyond reproach.
/grabs glistening crotch

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My head would cave in due to the load I’d blow if that that happened.

blaxabbath

You can use your candlelight to pen your thank you* letter to Trump for teaching you to stand up and survive without being dependent on electricity. Where you can be clear that you were a spoiled brownie who just couldn’t live without your juice…unlike the average FoxNews viewer.

*also confession letter for the millions of illegal votes.

(This could have been more appropriate in delivery. Sorry.)

Redshirt

Stay in there until you run out. You’ve earned it.

Don T

😂😂Reminded me of this

yeah right

Dios te bendiga my friend. Enjoy the fuck out of that shower.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Fun scenario this morning…

I am suppose to have a meeting with two of my Polish coworkers and some customers. I notify everyone that I am running late because of a customer service call. I think at most my two coworkers were sitting in the meeting room with five customers from a chemical facility for about 10 minutes.

I walk in…”Sorry Folks. You know how it is…you block off meeting times and of course the world starts calling you nonstop. I’m sure Wojciech and Filip have been entertaining you”

“Them boys speak English?” and the customers have a look of horror. I look over to my two coworkers and they are just glaring at me with rage.

Apparently when the customers walked into the room, they heard Fil and Woj speaking to each other in Polish so they assumed they were Russian, couldn’t speak English, and spent 15 minutes straight insulting them to their faces.

blaxabbath

You ain’t closing that sale.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

No we already got the fucking sale.

The idiot customers were basically insulting the two lead control engineers.

blaxabbath

You deal with the industries of construction/logistics?

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Sometimes.

We are automating some of their chemical process lines. So new equipment like motors, drives, PLC’s, and HMI have to be installed and commissioned by my coworkers.

I’m going to get tasked with doing the training program for the customers’ work force on the new gear.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’d make the entire interface Polish-language only

rockingdog
rockingdog

Not cool….
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Dammit. Those drinkin’, smokin’, skateboardin’ dogs always ruin it for the rest of us.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Rocking and Rolling

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Go Blackhawks!

Do I have to learn how they’re doing yet?

Wakezilla

They just got Anthony Duclair, which will help them a lot. Also, I think they’re in last place.

litre_cola

Yep, goaltending has been shaky.

rockingdog
rockingdog

I found my new fake name next time I go to the bar……
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

He was great in Willow

ballsofsteelandfury

/ sees list of off-season stuff
// sees no mention of AFL
/// squints really hard and gives disapproving look

WCS

This episode of X-Files is pretty weird, even by their standards.

blaxabbath

Is this the new ones. My wife showed me a couple seasons of the old ones — but then it got kinda random around the 4th season. Also I never saw the movies.

But I kind of want to check out the new ones. They good? Or will I miss out on plot stuff since I’ve missed so many shows/movies?

WCS

The new Monster-Of-The-Weeks have been good, the Mythology ones, meh.

yeah right

Hey Wakezilla and Mr AYO, as residing members of the DFO “insiders” if you have your picks for the games this weekend let me know and we will give you do credit.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Not to totally undermine the premise, but is this straight up or against the spread?

ballsofsteelandfury

Straight up

Wakezilla

Break just about to end, will submit them here later tonight.

yeah right

Quick spoiler alert: our group of “insiders” picks beat the FUCK out of the big boy websites.

Redshirt

“It’s never too soon to conceive an off-season writing project for yourself. THERE IS ALWAYS CONTENT TO BE MINED!”

Do you really want me to share a piece of my imagination? That’s not a nice place to be in!

WCS

I assume 70% of your imagination consists of visions of reenacting the murders from “Seven” on Mike Brown.

Redshirt

No, but one involves a customized DeLorean, a TARDIS, or Bill & Ted’s Phone Booth and Super Bowl XXIII.

Surprising I don’t have any hatred towards Mike Brown. I find him to be a nice guy who is in over his head. Pretty much my reaction is this:
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blaxabbath

I found my Summer content!

King Hippo

I mean, the brutal wasteland that is the offseason should have us all unleashing our darkest impulses.

Redshirt

Future Dolphin History Teacher: “Historians all believe it is this innocent comment that leads the warlord known as “The Red Shirt” to follow the path that leads to the destruction of the human race and the rise of the dolphins as the dominant power on Earth.”

CBQUE
CBQUE

Okay so this season sucked and The Football gods will make up for it by having New England lose to Pittsburgh right?

Redshirt

Why can’t both of them lose?

King Hippo

Lose to the #OddWeekJaguras. It’s a thing that exists.

WCS

Don’t pay attention to this person. He’s drunk, and off his meds.

Redshirt

Don’t pay attention to this person. He’s drunk, and…well he’s usually drunk, but don’t listen to this person anyway.

King Hippo

Not drunk, ALWAYS on my meds. But stupid…fair point.

/opiates WOO

litre_cola

There is booze and meds available?

rockingdog
rockingdog

Me: am I lonely or bored?
My stomach: lets just eat until we find out. ok?

WCS

rockingdog
rockingdog

A library is just a shrine to introverts.

CBQUE
CBQUE

Happy New Year and HOW THE FUCK YA DOIN BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WCS

Good to see ya.

CBQUE
CBQUE

back from my 18 month exile in London and I’m ready to roll. Good to see the crew is as dysfunctional as ever.

Redshirt

Jolly good to have you back, governor.

WCS

You can’t spell dysfunctional without D-F-O.

King Hippo

LITTLE KNOWN FACT! Open threads are TOTES cheaper than therapy, and probably about equally effective.

– Your Friendly Neighbourhood Quack

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What they ain’t got no internet in London?

(but seriously, nice to see you)

blaxabbath

That big orange is such a great college mascot logo.

yeah right

Glad you’re back CBQUE.

Someone else saved you a beer.

Redshirt

Christina Ricci in the Addams Family Values was the 2nd best part of the movie.

If you don’t know the 1st best part, you obviously haven’t seen the movie.

CBQUE
CBQUE

Seen the movie. Let me guess the part where Wednesday goes Kaiser Soze on the camp rpoduction? I mean that is my fantasy to do Trump and Co

Redshirt

Actually I meant overall 2nd. But yeah, that scene was perfect.

1st best was Raul Julia, though that’s not fair as he was already awesome. In retrospect, his performance as Gomez Addams was him warming up to his Victory Lap of Life that was him playing M. Bison.

Also, I imagine Trump would go down like Joan Cusack’s character did. A slideshow trying to explain why he’s the victim and then the Electric Chair.

Also, HOT DAMN. I still can’t believe Joan Cusack could play a character that hot. I already knew she was attractive, but this was like next level hotness.

King Hippo

This is a Jesuit snuff film going down in Philly!

/BTW, my apocalyptic readings finally took me through “A Canticle For Liebowitz” and I know feel like a Jesuit by osmosis. Good book. Bleak as fuck.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fawn Liebowitz?

SonOfSpam

Some people like Cable.

But then, some people like throwing the ball on the one yard line.

And some people like having no offensive line to protect their star quarterback.

For everyone else, there’s some retread who listens to Pete Carroll’s 9/11 theories.

WCS

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blaxabbath

Very objectively funny.

King Hippo

I will ALWAYS make time for that Carlin bit. Thanks for posting!

Xavier/Nova looks worthwhile. God, I hate the offseason.