Your “I Swore I Would Be True” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Big Daddy Drew is alive.
    • So let’s relive it again.

https://twitter.com/coribald/status/952718190861107201

  • Plus, he’s got opinions on the next Giants head coach.

https://twitter.com/drewmagary/status/953003303528484865

  • Mike Mularkey is OUT as Titans coach.
    • The rumour is Josh McDaniels, and a probable fine for not observing the Rooney Rule.
      • Working in the Titans favour is that they have a healthy QB, something the other McD contender – the Colts – cannot say.
      • Working against them – rumours he’s already agreed to a deal with the Colts.
    • That leaves Matt Patricia, unless Arizona ponies up some sweet bucks.
  • God bless Jalen Ramsay.
    • He’s said the Jags are going to win the Super Bowl, and doesn’t care if it’s bulletin board material.
      • I want to hear that level of confidence. It beats the Steelers “respecting” the Patriots when they are secretly scared of them.
  • Stealing from Crimebeat!
    • Seahawks CB Jeremy Lane was arrested for a DUI on Sunday morning at 5:30AM, despite blowing an admitted 0.03 on the breathalyser.
      • “He was heading eastbound on Interstate 90 on or near Mercer Island when he was pulled over.” Meaning, he was leaving downtown towards Bellevue over the floating bridge, a classic police chokepoint.
        • The DUI score means they are factoring in alcohol on his driving style in justifying the arrest.
      • Considering the Seahawks tried to get rid of him in the Duane Brown trade, this latest incident probably means his end in the Pacific Northwest.
  • To reconnect with yesterday’s sacrifices to GAMBLOR, Vegas has some funny stories to tell:
    • The spread on the Vikings game had moved to -5.5 by kickoff, so anyone who bet the spread Sunday lost out when Keenum took the knee on the extra point.
    • The over/under was 47, which was a push until the TD.
    • MGM reported that the Saints were bet twice as heavily as the Vikings, with the largest bet received at $150,000 on the Saints to win at 2:1 odds. That’s $300,000 left on a tear-soaked table.

Finally, that Millie lady looked like she had a blast at the Vikings game.

She went with her granddaughter, the one who hooked the whole thing up via social media.

Fox made sure she got on TV,

someone sent her a beer,

and some parasite tried to steal her limelight.

But at least he ticked off box #3 on her wish list, gifting her tickets to the Super Bowl.

    

Okay, now I hope the Vikings crush the Eagles, and she gets to be their “Rally Monkey” for two weeks.


Dolores O’Riordan of The Cranberries died suddenly in London today, aged 46.

The Irish Times has a nice “life in pictures” retrospective on their site for you to peruse.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Islanders at Canadiens – 7:30PM | NBCSN / TSN Quebec
  • NBA:
    • Warriors at Cavaliers – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN3
    • Rockets at Clippers – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN3
  • NCAA:
    • Men’s basketball:
      • Maryland at Michigan – 6:30PM | FS1
      • Duke at Miami – 7:00PM | ESPN
      • DePaul at Marquette – 9:00PM | FS1
      • Kansas at West Virginia – 9:00PM | ESPN
    • Women’s basketball:
      • Connecticut at Texas – 7:00PM | ESPN2
  • Tennis:
    • Australian Open: Day 2 – 9:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
      • highlighted Canadian matches:
        • Milos Raonic vs. Lukas Lacko
        • Genie Bouchard vs. Océane Dodin
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet
      • next week is the “RAW 25” anniversary. And, it’ll be a week before the Rumble.

If someone with a Reddit account feels like it, feel free to post my “Risk” assessment of countries to see what might drive people mad. LET’S START DFO HATE-WEEK EARLY!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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rockingdog

warriors looking to pull away in these last 5 minutes.

rockingdog

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Wakezilla

Even Goff looked better. You’d think that’d be the final nail in the coffin, but, he likely has a Browns run in him.

Mr. Ayo
Gratliff

Usual Suspects Up To Usual Bullshit

https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/952713314945110016

WCS

Rawk Chawk is absolutely going to make a run.

King Hippo

nah, 9 is as close as they’s gon get

Mr. Ayo

/checks score
//scratches head
//bets kansas to win

WCS

Sags is now three rebounds away from a triple-double.

WCS

Holly Rowe (to Huggs): “Who wore the windbreaker better, coach? You, or Bill Self?”
Huggs: “There’s no question. You know.”

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rockingdog

A horror movie: but, it’s just accidentally turning on FaceTime while clogging the toilet at your in-laws house.

WCS

A few months back, Drew and Marchman actually answered my question/situation on the Deadcast. We were staying at wifey’s grandpap’s house, which only has one toilet. It’s next to the bathrooms. Everyone was asleep, except me. I was getting drunk. Do I risk flushing each time I need to pee, or risk leaving a bowl of evidence for someone else to find?

Wakezilla

Flush every other time

King Hippo

piss in the sink!

Unsurprised

Thinking outside the pot.

WCS

Oscar’s doing insurance commercials now?

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Sharkbait

That Office syndication money apparently isn’t going far enough

Unsurprised

Maybe he’s getting a divorce.

rockingdog

found a funny:
“there is nothing like spending time with you when its cold. let me hold you” i say as i lean over to embrace you….but you just slide through my hands because you are oatmeal with some berries in it

WCS

Better oatmeal than a corpse.

King Hippo

“Hey, let’s not be rash about this” – Ted B., Seattle, WA/Tallahassee, FL

WCS

Ew.

King Hippo

holy shit, Self is rocking his own mumu today. Doing a little stress eating? Looks like that conference title streak about to end.

Sharkbait

Shurmur really does look like Dollar Store John Heard

WCS

Sags Konate rn

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Senor Weaselo

Did we ever get an answer to the question “Who want to sex Mutombo?”

King Hippo

holy shit, #50 is a fucking monster!! LOVE HIM!!

Mr. Ayo

Konate is the wall Trump dreams of

King Hippo

NOTE to Bill Self: Suggest pull-up jumpers

rockingdog

Bahahahaha

Gratliff

There may be nothing less sincere in this world than the FBI wishing everyone a happy MLK day.

WCS

Richard Spencer celebrating Kwanzaa?

Gratliff

MOAR sincere

Viva La Tabula Raza

Re-reading James Ellroy’s Underground USA trilogy right now and you hit the nail right on the head.

WCS

I LOVE THIS TEAM

I’M ALSO FULL OF GIN

#TRACKSUITS4LYFE

Brick Meathook

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HMS Hood
USS Michigan
IJN Nagato

WCS

That’s a lot of semen.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Puts me in mind of this, for some reason:comment image

Sharkbait

Fair to say the Hood’s sacrifice turned the Battle of the Atlantic? Bismark would have done considerable damage to the convoys.

Redshirt

The best part of winter is driving from one county with sort of paved but passable roads, and then approaching the county line and seeing that the roads from that county hasn’t been touch since the last Ice Age.

Gratliff

I moved to Michigan 12 years ago, but last summer was the first time I ever drove through Ohio, and holy jesus, it’s somehow worse there. Took the turnpike like a fucking idiot, and I’m almost certain I was on a dirt road at one point.

WCS

Ohio is essentially a “Shithouse country” when it comes to road maintenance. It somehow makes Pennsylvania… not normal, just less awful.

King Hippo

I remember when I was in the SWPA/Youngstown area for my Yinzer buddy’s wedding and to visit the then-grandparents-in-law. Speaking as a visitor from slack-jawed yokel country, on the roads “don’t you fuckers pay taxes here?”

Redshirt

I was on I-71 and the road suddenly disappeared under 10″ off snow. Its not often I go with the logic of “This part looks smooth, flat and even. It probably the interstate.”

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s really remarkable how much the roads change county to county in Texas.

WCS

SAGABTA KONETA, BITCHES

BAMAKO, MALI REPRESENT

King Hippo

#HoopsballShithole

BrettFavresColonoscopy

About to take off, so cranking Zombie. Will karaoke it if someone wants to pick us up from Denver airport in about 2 hours or so.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Woo-hoo, just got notified that I don’t have to report to work tomorrow due to cold front/icy roads!
*pours four fingers of Scotch*
South Texas does not know how to deal with winter weather.

Redshirt

Of course. You guys probably don’t even have salt trucks.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Nope. When it ices up, they spread gravel, so you have to worry about starred windshields for two weeks after the ice event.

Redshirt

But gravel does nothing! All you’ve done is turn your spinning tires into pebble launchers.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Exactly. But the gravel is mixed with sand, so all is well!!!

Gratliff

Up here, the schools are in that fun part of winter where they used up all their snow days unnecessarily and now send kids out to die in the icy hell that awaits them to avoid adding a single extra day in June.

King Hippo

Fly (JV hoopsball) Iggles FLY!!

Redshirt

There is hope in the world.

A man took a 10-year old boy hostage. He unloaded about 50 rounds at the cops. The Crisis Negotiator talked to him for 30 hours.

Everyone walked away. The boy wasn’t harmed. No cops were harmed. And the suspect was taken into custody, and not placed in a body bag.

https://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/local/liberty-township/2018/01/13/authorities-boy-held-hostage-liberty-twp-home-swat-scene/1031229001/

ballsofsteelandfury

Important point: was the man white?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

In Cincinnati? As improbable as turkeys not being able to fly.

WCS

Outside of the years of therapy that kid’s going to need, that is a decent ending.

WCS

Fucking Dook… here’s some Andy and Ollie to feel better:

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King Hippo

Fucking BC blowing their ginormous lead too…

JustStopDude
rockingdog

Yea that is pretty depressing.

Gratliff

I’m convinced there’s one of these in every city. This one was 2 blocks from where I lived as a teenager: http://www.cecildaily.com/news/article_bc91654f-db08-560b-be3e-594eba31d61f.html

Viva La Tabula Raza

We had one of those a while back. There’s probably more out there.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_Slave_Ranch

King Hippo

Confession time – I logged onto my Sportsbook to bet on the King of Track Suits to shockingly discover Rock Chawk was a 5.5 point DOG. So…I bet the moneyline (+210) and will honestly hope to lose $100, since BC is already gonna make me $150…

WCS

Da U hoopsball squadron is taking Dook to Pound Town, which is a nice segue into the Tracksuits-Rawk Chawk match.

King Hippo

Dookie V is calling that one too, ain’t he?

WCS

Naturally. And, Dook has rallied from 13 down to tie. Of course.

King Hippo

this is why I bet BC so I wouldn’t watch the other

yeah right

Here’s a fun thing: I just noticed that the palms of both hands are bruised as FUCK today.

That’s some next level cheering shit.

Gratliff

That is some impressive masturbating right there

WCS

Well done.

King Hippo

4-hour erections require some stamina ,, ppl forget that

#PurplePeterBeaters

Gratliff

Funny thing about priapism: Every treatment is fucking horrifying.
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King Hippo

GUH!!!!!!!

just showing THAT PICTURE ought do the trick…

WCS

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rockingdog

kind of curious about that grand daughter….
whatever. Warriors game is on.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ugh, airports.

ballsofsteelandfury

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theeWeeBabySeamus

As promised, I’m not gonna overdo this tonight.
Last one from me. I’m out for the night.
Have a nice night gents and ladies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_6ak9CYx48

ballsofsteelandfury

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WCS

So, the Dirt Stillers traded McCutcheon to San Fran today, three days after shipping Garrett Cole to the Astros. There’s also rumors they’re going to raise ticket prices.

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King Hippo

But Felipe Rivero got a 4-year deal! Are you NAWT entertained??

WCS

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Yippee.

King Hippo

Erstwhile on NL Central Blues, Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals are going into the season with Luke Gregerson (13 HR allowed in like 64 innings last year, 4.7-ish FIP) as their closer. Between yinz side and mine, we could probably field a combined team that could almost compete with the Chi**** bastard men.

WCS

Buccos plan on signing Pedro Cerrano, Roger Dorn, and Jake Harris to fill the gaps.

King Hippo

in all serious, I like Jordan Luplow as an underrated prospect bat and hope they give him a real shot this season (in LF).

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Mitchell Friedman?

ballsofsteelandfury

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ballsofsteelandfury

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scotchnaut

As far as potential immigrants were concerned, Dolores was one of the good ones

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHoHIL2ABVQ

ballsofsteelandfury

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I need to go back and watch/re-watch that series.
Due to life’s circumstances I kinda quit on it about halfway thru its run.

ballsofsteelandfury

“So, are you single? Asking for a friend in New England”

– Goodell

theeWeeBabySeamus

As silly as this might sound, Dolores and the Cranberries have meant as much to me as have artists like Chris Cornell and Scott Weiland and others. Both in the good times of my life and in bad. Yes, I’m very sad tonight. No, I really don’t care how silly that might sound.

Thank you for recognizing her, Rob.

RIP Dolores.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpQdFB6hPgI

Gratliff

She wrote one of the most important songs of a generation. She deserves whatever recognition she gets.

ballsofsteelandfury

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herodotus450

They released a movie recently, I am afraid to watch it in case it stinks. And since I dont care about charatcer arcs just 70s baseball references.

ballsofsteelandfury

I was hesitant too, but I watched it and it was fun.

Gratliff

Goddamn it. I forgot how much it sucked waiting a full week for a big playoff game. I want them to play nowwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Unsurprised

I bet that’s delicious.

King Hippo

$100 last minute moneyline bet on BC? WOO!!!!!!!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

I absolutely love Psych. Such a fun show.

ballsofsteelandfury

Titans fan!

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I know Gus is (was?) a big Chargers fan.

Unsurprised

Who’s the redhead? A quick GIS suggests Maggie Lawson, who seems … friendly.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I had jury duty with the assistant to the creator. They HATED that CBS produced The Mentalist and stole their thunder.

JustStopDude

Two fucking teams fighting over Josh McDaniels, and both will take fines rather than even bother to interview a minority candidate….

How the fuck does the NFL not get sued into oblivion on a daily basis?

herodotus450

Every NFL coach marks their race as “Football Guy” on their application so it’s hard to get accurate demographics stats.

Senor Weaselo

Hey, that’s Football-American to you!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cost of doing business, just like sucking Satan’s cock

Unsurprised

Thirteen billion in annual revenue not accounting for merchandising, the only non-stadium revenue not shared; 32 billionaire owners; a Senator’s son as commissioner; being the most popular sport in America; facing a scenario where every attorney general with the money and power to bring a case against the league is an elected official or one rung below an elected official and all of them have to ask legislators to approve their annual budgets.

yeah right

I’ve spent all day at work re-watching THE PLAY and giving myself goosebumps all over again.

This is my favorite clip. The sound is intense. I’ve heard the noise in that building and I can only imagine.

Fuck yes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18A9j5Hp0O0

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Your long lost brother down here is referring to it as the “SKOL Mary.”

herodotus450

0.03 and still arrested?
[Looks at calendar]
Damn, and it’s still “too soon” to talk about all the things that are more heavily regulated than guns…

King Hippo

Well, he still was “black on the highway”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And I ain’t posting anything even tangentially Trump related to Reddit without multiple VPNs and a burner account.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“So when he calls someone a monkey it’s ok?”
–Jerry Richardson