Your “I Hope You Like Field Goals” NFC Championship Open Thread

Don’t get me wrong-I think this will be a low-scoring, hard-fought tilt with plenty of hits and I’m all for it. What else do I be thinking? To know that we must go… TO THE GAME!

Minnesota/Philadelphia:

At long last more than a few denizens of The City of Brotherly Love will discover what it is like to throw up with a dog mask on their face. There won’t be any whips or the like involved but there could be a police baton or two making an appearance. Jason Kelce has informed the fans that there is some etiquette involved saying, “Remember, take off the mask before you spit on your buddy’s girlfriend. Manners are important!”

Injuries:

Safety Sendejo is out of concussion protocol and Adam Thielen is a go despite having ‘tiny cracks in his spine’.(?!) When you’re made of 100% grit these kinds of injuries are to be expected.

Matchup Mayhem:

Everson Griffin vs. Hal Vaitai: Hooo boy this won’t be pretty. Vaitai was ranked 47th out of 55 lineman in Pass-blocking Efficiency according to PFF. Griffin has 13 sacks so far and 61 pressures. Foles is a pocket passer that needs some protection. Does the qb have two consecutive non-Foles-ian games in him? We shall see…

Stats That Don’t Much Matter:

The Vikes have lost 5 straight NFC Championship games. They also have a 6-2 road record this year. The Eagles are giving up an average of 10.3 points per game at home since late October. Yikes. I guess it’ll come down to which qb makes the fewest mistakes. (shudders when he recalls Keenum’s ‘toss it up, see where it goes’ interception to Marcus Williams last week)

Bring your “A” game fellas and don’t forget to do your stretches!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
1.1K Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
ballsofsteelandfury

Eagles score a TD here, this game is over.

/ writes in notebook

Sharkbait

Insurmountable lead?

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s a big statement …. from a Yinzer fan.
😛

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Peeing your name in the snow isn’t the same as writing in a notebook.

blaxabbath

Cheap bastards only resodded the interior turf. Hey, why spend the money for the entire field when you only make a billion a year!?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t Ertz my Foles.

Gatoraids

That quality turf gets Dan Snyder excited

King Hippo

JEEEEEEEEESSSSUS

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How is Celek still in the league?

Sharkbait

Black magic fuckery?

ThePirateSloth

Agholor sounds like a fantasy kingdom.

FOR AGHOLOR! HUZZAH!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It seems like there could be a place in the DFO pantheon for him, as the demi-god of dropped passes.

Viva La Tabula Raza

So if the Vikings end up in the SB at home, are they going to be allowed to play that stupid horn noise?

Doktor Zymm

I sure hope so!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes, and also their hotel workers will be allowed to poison the Patriots players’ food.

...

Will it drive Brady and Belichick into a whiny, pissy rage? If yes, then I will personally press the button that blares it.

Spur

shouldn’t you be at HEB stocking up on beer and TP? This shutdown is gonna be long.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Made that trip yesterday. Gonna stop at the packy on the way home from signing my furlough papers tomorrow and get a couple of handles of rum, and call my weed dealer for a delivery. I plan on binging a few series I’ve been procrastinating on for a couple years now. Should still get a paycheck this Friday for the pay period that ended on the 19th, so I shouldn’t be having to eat ramen anytime soon.

blaxabbath

In reality, probably not. It’s the NFL’s stadium for the day, you’re just playing in it.

Redshirt

Blaxabbath is right. Its a neutral stadium.

However there is no rule saying it can’t be played at the Patriots hotel every quarter hour.

blaxabbath

Ajai was a good add by PHI. They’ve done a great job with their roster and wisely using their trades.

...
DontHair

One on hand this city of Philadelphia played a key role in the birth of this fine national we call home, but on the other hand these fans threw batteries at a man in a Santa suit, use dumpsters to make pools in the summer, and have the police greasing street poles regardless of the outcome of this game, so fuck the eagles and their fans.

ballsofsteelandfury

On the third hand, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

GO EAGLES!

DontHair

Milk steak for everyone

Doktor Zymm

You forgot about the guy who intentionally threw up on a little girl at a baseball game

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

She had it coming

WCS

comment image

blaxabbath

Well, you gotta assume the team will win. If they do and you didn’t crisco the poles, you’re too late by the 4th quarter.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, one must always Crisco the pole before it’s too late.
This is sound advice.

WCS

Hi there. The heat death of the universe can happen anytime between now and February 4.

King Hippo

This is not my day/week/month/year/life

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh relax. It’s still early.

blaxabbath

Is that a think now? You can bring a girl over and just have her watch movies on your iPhone.

Shit, I invested all this cash in a tv and speakers for nothing.

Senor Weaselo

Netflix on your iPhone and chill?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They get bored faster with a small screen. And then…you know.

Gratliff

That eagle is fully prepared to fuck up somebody’s day.

Spur

comment image

Spur

Viks need a turnover now.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Whatever happens tonight Buddy can take solace in the fact that his Delco female friend can be cajoled into giving him oral!

Last time Buddy arced a load that went from Chester to Upper Merion!

ballsofsteelandfury

Huzzah for arced loads!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

More like, “Cummander Barry Bridge”

DILLY DILLY

Romonobyl

I’m getting old…what was once an arc is now more of an ooze.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Hey jizz and fizz do rhyme

blaxabbath

Damn it, I gotta cook tonight. Maybe at the quarter.

Sharkbait

What’s on the menu?

blaxabbath

Pressure cooker chili, cornbread, blackberry cobbler. Nothing too hard and not too much chopping, but I gotta be on my feet and my legs are shot to all shit. And I’m kinda high.

Sharkbait

That sounds amazing

blaxabbath

It will be. Then my pregnant wife will have three bites and go shower.

Romonobyl

C’mon plural baby deer!

Romonobyl

I need one of those O2 masks by my bed for after…you know.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, jerking off gets me winded these days too.

Dick E. Phuck

Whoever wins this game doesn’t matter, the Super Bowl can kiss my hairy ass.

Romonobyl

Same here, but my hump is naturally rather barren.

Spur

they got places you can go for that
comment image

Romonobyl

My only concern is did Spur search for that gif or already have it filed?

Spur

i miss having True Detective to watch. too bad they just made that one season.

Gatoraids

Third season has director from Blue ruin and green room cast

King Hippo

I am like the only person in the world who kinda liked season 2

Col. Duke LaCross

It made less than no sense, but I was entertained by its ridiculousness.

/Who the hell was Stan?

blaxabbath

I’ve only seen the first season. Where do I find it now? Do I need a HBO app?

Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people. I feel like since I didn’t get to ask it due to Fiddler:
How fucking difficult is it to tell yourself that you cannot let up on the Patriots and call off the dogs, but instead cry havoc and step on their throats as many times as possible over the course of 60 minutes?

/Figuratively
//Okay, not necessarily figuratively…

blaxabbath

Zimmer can do this.

Doktor Zymm

I was getting updates on the game via radio, and the Jags were always slightly ahead. I get home and check the score and sure enough…sigh

...

The Jags punting on that 4th and 1 was the dumbest fucking call of the year.

blaxabbath

Fucking cheap prick. I don’t like being hit up for money for shit…but I’ll buy a damn cookie from some kids soccer team doing a bake sale.

litre_cola

Moar of that please

Sharkbait

Skol after that pick

comment image

Spur

Bring in Bridgewater

...

BRING IN BRADFORD

For either team. I don’t care.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

I can’t comment and play at the same time!

Doktor Zymm

So….is Keenum gonna throw ALL the TD passes in this game?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

You beautiful wench

King Hippo

ok, time to adjust settings to “blackout crunk”

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’M ON IT!!!!!!!

-tWBS

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Someone fetch Beansie, shit is about to get real

Redshirt

One of these teams has to play the Pats.

God help us all.

King Hippo

JUST DON’T WATCH

Sharkbait

Good… Good…

...

While that pick six was hilarious, it actually just makes me angry knowing how every single team except the fucking Patriots is a farce barely holding itself together.

Gatoraids

Commander Keenum strikes

Spur

Keenum you asshole!

King Hippo

velly bad decision

makeitsnowondem

SAMURAICEPTION

Gratliff

LET’S FUCKING GO

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s the way Philly D!

Dick E. Phuck

This is going to be derpy.

The Maestro

OH NOW WE GOT OURSELVES A GAME

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well that just happened.

Smithchez

Well that was fun

blaxabbath

What’s up with Theilen and the stupid yellow gloves tho?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Watersports fan

King Hippo

GULP

...

lol

Gratliff

PICKERCEPTION MOTHERFUCKERS

Mr. Ayo

KEENUM IS BACK!

herodotus450

Who’s the Ad genius who came up with putting the Pats game first? This game is not holding my attention

blaxabbath

Steve Bannon.

...

I’m glad I vented my Brady and Belichick hate. I think I have some saved up for Kraft. Something about how Americans despite their claims of loving freedom are a deeply servile people eater to grovel at the feet of lords who will rule them, but I might save that for two weeks from now.

King Hippo

I’m ready to go a bloodlettin’ anytime you is!

herodotus450
...

I knew exactly what this was going to be before you even posted it. lol

blaxabbath

I’d like you to find an artist and sell the entire trilogy as an graphic novel.

ThePirateSloth

I’m gonna pair Beer Barrel Bourbon with Bourbon Barrell Stout. I’ll get back to you on how delicious it…

/bourbon’d

...

A bar near me is doing a barrel-aged beer tapping on Super Bowl Sunday and holy shit is the lineup of beers incredible. There will be a wait outside to get in and I might go through with it.

LemonJello

That sounds fantastic.

Mr. Ayo

I’m impressed you didn’t sneak a Bortles in there.