Don’t get me wrong-I think this will be a low-scoring, hard-fought tilt with plenty of hits and I’m all for it. What else do I be thinking? To know that we must go… TO THE GAME!
Minnesota/Philadelphia:
At long last more than a few denizens of The City of Brotherly Love will discover what it is like to throw up with a dog mask on their face. There won’t be any whips or the like involved but there could be a police baton or two making an appearance. Jason Kelce has informed the fans that there is some etiquette involved saying, “Remember, take off the mask before you spit on your buddy’s girlfriend. Manners are important!”
Injuries:
Safety Sendejo is out of concussion protocol and Adam Thielen is a go despite having ‘tiny cracks in his spine’.(?!) When you’re made of 100% grit these kinds of injuries are to be expected.
Matchup Mayhem:
Everson Griffin vs. Hal Vaitai: Hooo boy this won’t be pretty. Vaitai was ranked 47th out of 55 lineman in Pass-blocking Efficiency according to PFF. Griffin has 13 sacks so far and 61 pressures. Foles is a pocket passer that needs some protection. Does the qb have two consecutive non-Foles-ian games in him? We shall see…
Stats That Don’t Much Matter:
The Vikes have lost 5 straight NFC Championship games. They also have a 6-2 road record this year. The Eagles are giving up an average of 10.3 points per game at home since late October. Yikes. I guess it’ll come down to which qb makes the fewest mistakes. (shudders when he recalls Keenum’s ‘toss it up, see where it goes’ interception to Marcus Williams last week)
Bring your “A” game fellas and don’t forget to do your stretches!
Diggs on the sideline… and they didn’t show the Divisional play 28 times? Is that possible?
what was the Chappelle joke about David Koresh.
“Guy claims to be Jesus and has to wear glasses?”
Prob had a 3″ dick too.
Ol’ Stubby, they’d call him.
“Hey Stubby, you startin’ a cult over there?” people would say to him.
Then he killed them all with fire.
somebody did “the pinky wave” the morning he set that fire…
Pfffffffft.
Road map to beat the Patriots
Hahahahaha
You didn’t say anything about going veering diagonally to the right.
(turns on 4×4)
See, Saints?! That’s how you make a tackle on the line!
He looks tasty.
If I decide I want to spend the Super Bowl shitfaced, I’ll go to Nisei because at least I’ll like the crowd.
Also the TVs are pretty small so it’s easier to ignore what’s happening. Also, darts if you want to throw sharp objects
Another pick six would make me less nervous
/Foles shrugs. “Okay, I guess?”
Holy shit. I just figured it out.
Trump is Gaston in real life. Its all coming together now.
Is that the guy that stole the bread or the copper who’s chasing him?
Nah. Gaston is the muscular guy who wants to marry Belle, so when he finds out she has been kidnapped by a beast, he goes to find her.
“Why don’t you focus on more important things, Stormy? Like me.”
Nah. Gaston isn’t as crazy and Trump can’t do a pushup
That was a hit. my speakers crackled. Foles needs to check his helmet for a crack.
Did you just call Nick Foles a butthead?
Foles got fingered.
Finger my Foles.
ZACK ERTZ BAY BAY
So I’m watching this game on the fox sports app and every other commercial is for the Skip Bayless show on FS1 and I imagine that is on a constant loop in hell
Things that piss me off #751: Using “historical” in place of “historic.”
Does Red Sparrow peg politicians? Is that what the movie is about? Isn’t that a little on the nose?
That costs extra. Allegedly.
I wonder if that old guy threw Voltaic piles at the field back in the 1930s.
I think they’re still using those for IEDs over there.
That’s historical!
Ok, the healthy and excited feeling I had from starting horseback again is wearing off, to be replaced with football watching pessimism and malaise. Time to pop a bottle!
Willard Scott running the fan shots
Dueling old people!
The duel of the Necromancers!
Remember, sportswriters will always find a way to create dumb narratives where the Patriots look like scrappy, loveable underdogs.
Tom Brady is old! They’re the underdog because they have white players!
I want their charter to wander into a Air Defense Exclusion Zone and take a pair of AIM-120 AMRAAMS.
Hey, Beauty and the Beast! The real one, not the real one.
The live version was bad. The story being stupid didn’t help
Red Sparrow: That’s how that got Trump
alright, stupid morning column is written. Can hate watch and drank the rest of the way on mute
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAME2NCkFK4
It stinks!
We’ve come a long way. The original Death Wish was about Charles Bronson finding excuses to shoot Black People.
I’m just waiting for Nick Foles to update this classic moment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQo6zt3bWlM
good times.
Remaking Death Wish with that guy?
Death wish doesn’t work without the stache
Death Wish: Die Hard at Home
God, did they really have to remake that? At least it looks like he goes after the actual perps and not just random muggers on the street.
This will only make the Eagles collapse all that much sweeter?
I wonder if Andrew Sendejo attended a high school with a significant Latino population.
Someone check on Drew
You know, watching the game on a stupid delay and reading these comments makes all this very anti-climactic
All of my exes just learned to fake it in those cases and…
Oh wait, I just re-read your comment. Never mind.
Football is a dumb game. On to the NBA and curling.
Kawhi out indefinitely certainly makes me sad.
i think Pop should shut it all down and try for a top 10 pick.
Maybe this youthful cohort will gel around Aldridge as the season progresses. Hope springs eternal.
Patty has been ass. Forbes should be getting more minutes
That sounds worse than suicide.
DEFINITELY
Ugh. Still angry about the Patriots. Need something to take the edge off.
Have you tried edging?
Not sure I can ragejack my way out of this one.
You just need to jack it harder
that’s just fucking sad
Hmmmm home field might actually mean something in the playoffs
The Gang Takes A Lead
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Yeah, someone had that one chambered.
LMFAO.
All I know is that Tom Brady and Bill Belichick had to overcome a great deal of adversity to get to this point.
You mean the patriots overcame great diversity
That too.
Do you guy have Honda I Like It commercials?
God, I wish I had the freedom and money to go on like a 6-month vacation.
You can come stay in the guest room if you want.
[opens briefcase with football helmet, baseball bat]
Maybe I can interest you in our “CTE Package.” It will certainly feel like 6 months…
Hey has anybody watched LA to Vegas? What did you think?
It’s alright. The stewardess is hot.
You’re not missing anything.
I think it’s funny. Predictable sometimes but decent ensemble work.
the lead actor seems just as punchable as he was in that preachy lawyer show
I really like it.
It looked so bad. Can it actually be not bad?
I feel like you could ad “watching Patriots victories” to the array of things in this DirecTV commercial.
Who are all these people dropping their pizzas?
http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap2000000254114/article/nate-burleson-posts-photos-of-pizzacaused-car-wreck
People who are trying to get Andy Reid to stop chasing them.
This is probably the best joke I will make today.
Drink more
come on Vikings. this is weak. Don’t make me have to root for the Pats.
yep, Philly and its 0% chance to beat the P*ts will win in a walk, instead of Minny and its 20% chance
This is a compelling case for me just get shitfaced with the TV off in two weeks.
I am trying to convince the ppls
Shouldn’t their HOA fine them for poor lawn maintenance?
On the radio they said the new sod is the same color as the older stuff. Apparently they weren’t counting on getting fact-checked.
They’re both green! Ish.
WHY AM I STILL ANXIOUS?
Bad batch of weed?
Because you’re not stupid and know this game has a long way to go?
Because you touch yourself?