Your “I Hope You Like Field Goals” NFC Championship Open Thread

Don’t get me wrong-I think this will be a low-scoring, hard-fought tilt with plenty of hits and I’m all for it. What else do I be thinking? To know that we must go… TO THE GAME!

Minnesota/Philadelphia:

At long last more than a few denizens of The City of Brotherly Love will discover what it is like to throw up with a dog mask on their face. There won’t be any whips or the like involved but there could be a police baton or two making an appearance. Jason Kelce has informed the fans that there is some etiquette involved saying, “Remember, take off the mask before you spit on your buddy’s girlfriend. Manners are important!”

Injuries:

Safety Sendejo is out of concussion protocol and Adam Thielen is a go despite having ‘tiny cracks in his spine’.(?!) When you’re made of 100% grit these kinds of injuries are to be expected.

Matchup Mayhem:

Everson Griffin vs. Hal Vaitai: Hooo boy this won’t be pretty. Vaitai was ranked 47th out of 55 lineman in Pass-blocking Efficiency according to PFF. Griffin has 13 sacks so far and 61 pressures. Foles is a pocket passer that needs some protection. Does the qb have two consecutive non-Foles-ian games in him? We shall see…

Stats That Don’t Much Matter:

The Vikes have lost 5 straight NFC Championship games. They also have a 6-2 road record this year. The Eagles are giving up an average of 10.3 points per game at home since late October. Yikes. I guess it’ll come down to which qb makes the fewest mistakes. (shudders when he recalls Keenum’s ‘toss it up, see where it goes’ interception to Marcus Williams last week)

Bring your “A” game fellas and don’t forget to do your stretches!

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King Hippo

Look at that, assdicks. YOU GAIN NOTHING by punting like gashes.

Gatoraids

The opening of American Gods was less painful to Vikings

Gratliff

Everyone remember how Jaguras took a knee with 55seconds and 2 TOs

Dick E. Phuck

Thanks for reminding me!
/Eats Tide Pods

Wakezilla

THESE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES, I CALL KING ÆTHELRED THE UNREADY BECAUSE WE’RE ABOUT TO SEE A VIKINGS MASSACRE

Redshirt

Damn. Beast was such an asshole than kid me remembers.

How’s the NFC Title Game? Do we have a shot or are they already putting the Patriots name on the Lombardi trophy?

King Hippo

don’t even have the stones to go for it.

Gratliff

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Redshirt

I miss him.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

JJ Watt can choke on the whole bag of dicks.

But he’ll win that BS award.

King Hippo

I need to set a series of large fires

Gratliff

I’m man enough to admit I was wrong on the over

King Hippo

as always, I bet small where I was right, large where I was wrong

LemonJello

The Riders of Rohan can’t help you now.

ThePirateSloth

I love you for this comment

Spur

if am gonna watch this crap, i’m gonna need more liquor.

LemonJello

“Melania? Is that you?”

Romonobyl

So what would agonize the DFO majority more, the P*ts or the Cowboys going to the big show?

King Hippo

with DAK! not even close and u noe it

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pats. At least with the Cowboys it would be a change of scenery.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve actually debated that internally quite a bit, at the moment, and for as long as Zeke is on the team, I’m gonna stick with FUCK THE COWBOYS

...

I know if they both made it I’d try to reenact The Sum of All Fears.

Dick E. Phuck

That’s a Sophie’s Choice if i’ve ever heard one.

Doktor Zymm

Instead of the Super Bowl, let’s have a break dancing contest!

Spur

Gronk would still win that.

Doktor Zymm

Perhaps, but it would still be more fun to watch

Romonobyl

I just got a new refrigerator, glad I kept the box.

Senor Weaselo
King Hippo

maybe show a little goddamned urgency?

Dick E. Phuck

Good job, Eagles. Now fulfill your destiny and lose in heartbreaking fashion to New England…Fuck me.

King Hippo

is a 21-point blowout considered heartbreaking?

Dick E. Phuck

Every Patriots Super Bowl win has been close and incredibly infuriating. I predict that this game will be no different.

ThePirateSloth

It is their density

LemonJello

Those all seem like achievable goals.
-Eagles, Et al

King Hippo

2 yards! Wow, I am impressed!!

ballsofsteelandfury

Encore

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King Hippo

QUERY – will Mister Winkles convince Zimmer to go to Crazy Eyez FOAR the 2nd half?

Gratliff

Terrence Neumann has been garabage against Philly for 43 years. Look it up.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nick Foles remains motivated to get his rightful place in NFL Hall of Fame canon

Doktor Zymm

So, they’re still gonna play the second half? I guess I should watch?

ThePirateSloth

Yes, for we all must stay. For the greater good.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Not quite the battle of field goals everyone anticipated.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have a fire going and a cup of hot chocolate, so let’s try and keep things happy and not have this game turn into a turdfest blowout.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well fuck.

blaxabbath

So New England will definitely fail to reach the QB and give Foles that much time.

King Hippo

way to suck ass, suckasses

...

Good to see the Vikings going to shit so readily.

Dick E. Phuck

Dilly Dilly

Wakezilla

That’s game.

Gratliff

LORDY MY GODEAGLEA

Wakezilla

So, we all know that fumble will be ruled and incomplete pass when it happens at the Superb owl for Tammy, right?

King Hippo

dunno, WILL NOT BE WATCHING

...

That’s right. You can go tell BIG FOOTBALL we won’t be bullied into watching its bullshit.

King Hippo

There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out

Gatoraids

If a double decker bus crashes into the patriots bus

Doktor Zymm

I would watch a remake of Rocky Horror where it’s the Pat’s bus that breaks down instead of Brad and Janet

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Damnit, Barr, I was counting on you!”

– Justin Blackmon, who is not actually watching the game

Romonobyl

Dilly Dilly needs to Stoppy Stoppy.

Spur

this is all Keenum’s fault.
You know what, fuck it, let the Eagles win. Let the Philly fucks get all worked up for 2 weeks only to see their hopes get crushed again by the Pats.

Romonobyl

That whore mouth of yours…

Gratliff

Hopefully the Tomb Raider movie reboot has less snuff film-y moments than the game.

Dick E. Phuck

Guys I think Case Keenum sucks.

Gatoraids

Log jamming ajayi just hereto fix the cable

Doktor Zymm

They got them some Case Workers out there

Gratliff

Derek Barnett strip sacks Case Keenum in the red zone. Philly recovers.

Fun fact: Eagles drafted Barnett with the pick they got from the Vikings in the Sam Bradford trade.#Eagles

— Brandon Lee Gowton (@BrandonGowton) January 22, 2018

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ThePirateSloth

God dammit, the Eagles can not beat the Pats.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“It’s not like we would have let the Vikings win either…”

– Peter Morelli

Spur

Fuck you Keenum.

King Hippo

Like the asshole couldn’t see it coming

Gratliff

EAGLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Senor Weaselo

Welp, fuck everything. More.

King Hippo

GO suck your own dick, Keenum

Mr. Ayo

Oh Keenum.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So the clock is running why?

Gratliff

I see this all the time outside of critical time plays. I’ve never understood it.

King Hippo

I will lose my $1700, but at least make $90 on my over bet.

THIS folks, is God’s sense of humour…

Spur

this Viking drive please Spur.

King Hippo

I would really enjoy professional football if the P*ts didn’t fucking exist. I could even stand being stupid and losing money at GAMBLOR. Just NOT THE P*ts.

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