Your “We Are All Jags Fans Today” AFC Championship Game Open Thread

Are you ready? Last Sunday was oh-so-glorious and I’m not sure how it can be topped but the bowels of my being are telling me it will be. Perhaps that’s last night’s chili talking, I’ve no idea. What the heckfire am I waiting for? TO THE GAME!

Jacksonville/New England:

Some football fans down Florida way are talking about The Coughlin Effect transforming this team. “So what is The Coughlin Effect?”, you may ask. Well, as a Giants fan I can tell you it involves not wearing hats in meetings, setting the clocks in the practice facility five minutes ahead and treating any and all injuries with bloodletting-you know, basic crotchety old man stuff. I’ve no doubt that when he was first told that players were kneeling during the anthems his gut reaction was to foam at the mouth.

Injuries:

Tom Brady has some stitches in his paw-paw. Will he play? (yes) Will he wear a glove? (maybe) Will it affect his game? (no) Do I like question marks? (most assuredly)

Stratergizering:

Rumour has it that Adele would like to see Jalen Ramsay on the Gronkster but the Jags D usually covers te’s with a safety (Church/Gipson) or Myles Jack. Besides the fact that Ramsey is out-weighed by a good fifty pounds, what of Brandin Cooks? I can’t see the Jags pulling something special out of their game plan hat today.

Here’s a Problem:

Their names are Hurns, Westbrook, Cole and Lee. That’s not the name of a law firm, that’s the Jags receiving corpse. If the team falls behind by two scores it’s not going to be pretty. That said, I think the speedy Westbrook just might grab a TD on some sort of trickery dickery dock.

Old Adage is old:

War. Won. Trenches. You know how it goes but if Jacksonville’s d-line of Ngakoue, (another strip-sack maybe?) Campbell, Jackson, Dareus and Fowler play as they have been recently the timing that Brady & Co. depend so much upon will be jiggered and they’ll be out of their comfort zone.

Have at ‘er darlings-it’s all yours now.

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JustStopDude

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This warrants a fucking movie now?

Gatoraids

That’s the sequel

SonOfSpam

I kinda wanna see the porn parody.

...

The fuck else is The Rock gonna do?

Duchess

Its been in the works for like a decade

Redshirt

We’re closer to the dark and edgy remake of “Frogger” that I am waiting for.

Spur

am holding out for Joust.

Gatoraids

The Shape of Roadkill

Spur

Jags need a TD here.

King Hippo

I really am running out of reasons not to kill myself at this point, universe.

blaxabbath

If this movie is the kind of decision making that the rock has to offer, I don’t think he needs to be president.

...

I mean, we might as well have entertainment as we watch the American Empire crumble.

The Maestro

LET’S FUCKING DO THIS SHIT, PATS.

blaxabbath

Boo-urns

Horatio Cornblower

And again, should have gone for it on 4th and 1+ back there.

King Hippo

YYYYYYYYUUUUUUP

Horatio Cornblower

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King Hippo

ok, so you have to go get a touched down now. You know this.

ThePirateSloth

Dammit

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, if they keep it within 9 pts, at least I’ll break even. More or less.

Smithchez

Jags either get 7 on the next drive or this shit is already over.

King Hippo

give it away, give it away, give it away now

theeWeeBabySeamus

I believe there was a lineman downfield on that one, but I’m not rewinding to check.

Gatoraids

Bellicheck going to the back of the Ole Necronomicon

Horatio Cornblower

Blatant holding on Solder not called there.

SonOfSpam

I called hold but just not on Solder
I called hold but just not on Solder
I called hold but just not on Solder

DontHair

On every play that fucking drive. But Mr Krafts checks always clear.

Petronel

1 for 2 on offense trickeration

King Hippo

can’t keep gifting chances

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well shit.

makeitsnowondem

Designed sack.

King Hippo

motherfucker

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tawmmmy is not having fun.
But I am.

SonOfSpam

Blake Bortles Bouncing

blaxabbath

So where does Brady sign next year?

Gatoraids

Goop

Redshirt

Cleveland. You know you want to see it.

...

Imagine Brady and Belichick going to Cleveland together.

...

Love those Sex Cannon shots down field.

Spur

Brady couldn’t fall to the ground fast enough.

King Hippo

PRESSURE MOAR

SonOfSpam

Brady looking a little Jim Everett-esque there.

King Hippo

Dreamboat turtling

Smithchez

Bouye is getting absolutely wrecked.

King Hippo

Bouye having a shit game

SonOfSpam

Sansa

Horatio Cornblower

Oh, well done.

blaxabbath

WHat are these like Yo! NFL Raps! Playoffs commercials?

Smithchez

Totally off topic, but has anybody here watched Patriot? It’s on amazon, and it’s awesome. Very Martin McDonough-esque kind of show.

LemonJello

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Smithchez

Not the “blame the jews” type, fortunately

SonOfSpam

“You Brits are worse than Jews!”

Spur

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SonOfSpam

I dunno why it makes me happy that the nearby Nixon Library is closed due to the shutdown, but it does.

Horatio Cornblower

A yard+ and you have Fournette, you’re playing the Pats with a 10 point lead and you punt?

Man, if I were a pompous asshole with a lot of duplicative consonants in my name, and if I had a notebook, I would write ‘game over’ in it.

herodotus450

I only have one duplicitous consonant in my notebook, and I keep asking myself, “y?”

litre_cola

Be happy you do not get Canadian commercials, they are fucking awful.

Horatio Cornblower

“aufuul”

King Hippo

they should have gone for it

Spur

the dog just left the room, she gave me a stink eye when she walked away.

...

Jags are confident in their ability to hold here.

God I hope that’s justified.

ThePirateSloth

My dog totally left to go sleep on my bed. Girl had enough of my yelling.

tomsellecksmoustache

Go for it!!!!!

clint greasewood

You know the refs are going to give that back to the Pats someway somehow.

King Hippo

well, that was awfully goddamned wasteful

ThePirateSloth

Run the fucking score up on them.

blaxabbath

MOAR HEADSHOTS

Smithchez

Goddamnit, Jaguras, you gotta capitalize there.

Clipboard Jesus

Only downside of that fumble was the whistle blowing because Jack hadn’t been touched when he had control

makeitsnowondem

Not only that was a fumble, Jack wasn’t contacted after recovering it.

King Hippo

I think Lewis hit Jack with his foot as he rolled over

Gratliff

Jackin’ it for the lorrrrrrrrrrrrd

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