Are you ready? Last Sunday was oh-so-glorious and I’m not sure how it can be topped but the bowels of my being are telling me it will be. Perhaps that’s last night’s chili talking, I’ve no idea. What the heckfire am I waiting for? TO THE GAME!
Jacksonville/New England:
Some football fans down Florida way are talking about The Coughlin Effect transforming this team. “So what is The Coughlin Effect?”, you may ask. Well, as a Giants fan I can tell you it involves not wearing hats in meetings, setting the clocks in the practice facility five minutes ahead and treating any and all injuries with bloodletting-you know, basic crotchety old man stuff. I’ve no doubt that when he was first told that players were kneeling during the anthems his gut reaction was to foam at the mouth.
Injuries:
Tom Brady has some stitches in his paw-paw. Will he play? (yes) Will he wear a glove? (maybe) Will it affect his game? (no) Do I like question marks? (most assuredly)
Stratergizering:
Rumour has it that Adele would like to see Jalen Ramsay on the Gronkster but the Jags D usually covers te’s with a safety (Church/Gipson) or Myles Jack. Besides the fact that Ramsey is out-weighed by a good fifty pounds, what of Brandin Cooks? I can’t see the Jags pulling something special out of their game plan hat today.
Here’s a Problem:
Their names are Hurns, Westbrook, Cole and Lee. That’s not the name of a law firm, that’s the Jags receiving corpse. If the team falls behind by two scores it’s not going to be pretty. That said, I think the speedy Westbrook just might grab a TD on some sort of trickery dickery dock.
Old Adage is old:
War. Won. Trenches. You know how it goes but if Jacksonville’s d-line of Ngakoue, (another strip-sack maybe?) Campbell, Jackson, Dareus and Fowler play as they have been recently the timing that Brady & Co. depend so much upon will be jiggered and they’ll be out of their comfort zone.
Have at ‘er darlings-it’s all yours now.
Jeff Triplette going to make a special emergency never-before-seen replacement appearance in the 2nd half?
“Clete Blakeman died mysteriously at halftime.”
Earl Hebner going to ref the 2nd half
Sorry. This is a job for Lil’ Naitch.
Jaguras get the ball to open 2nd half
Wonder if McDaniels and Patricia just trying to get this over and get to coaching at there next job.
I don’t know, I’d rather live in Satan’s asshole than have to work in Indianapolis.
There’s a difference?
You’d rather live in Foxboro?
You spelled “last” wrong for McDaniels.
So many guest appearances from old DFO and KSK members today.
Patriot hate brings us out.
That’s a catch.
Trust yourself Bort, that was a perfect pass. No need to rush first down.
Super Bowl’s gonna be on fucking Tru TV at this rate.
TruTV: Your home of March Madness 2/15 and 3/14 first round games!
Romo having puberty flash backs on that pass
Holy shit
ULTRABORT EVOLUTION COMPLETE!
Is Blake Bortles elite?
I’ll settle for competent. That’s all I ask for today.
Bort Bomb
BORTLES!
Brady is going to have to adjust his yoni egg at half
Gentlemen.
Where?
Funny, I was just thinking about making some toast.
Where’s Chad Johnson when you need him?
Oh, right, Canada.
Just two more TDs this quarter and Jaguars can be up 28-3 at the half!
Keep it up, asshole; I’ll make room in this locker.
I call big spoon.
SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH
I’m guessing the Artist “Logic” is being nominated for his hit new single “Mind Meld.”
TD with less than 10 seconds in the half, PLEASE
I don’t know who Cardi B is. Do I need to learn or will be she be forgotten by next year?
Broaden your horizons and learn.
I think she made a sex video
So you’re saying we should lean?
Dude – who the hell is getting a mortgage through an app?
The company I got my mortgage through had an app and I actually uploaded a lot of documents with it, but I still had a lot of contact with the loan officer I worked with. So I guess it’s not that strange to use an app…?
Your experience makes sense. I’d hope people are at least putting more thought into the largest purchase of their lives than they are….whatever you can order on an app — a taxi, I guess.
Officials clearly ignoring multiple flagrant “roughing the Brady” calls that should have resulted in flags…
It’s so great, isn’t it?
This shutdown is the answer to all our prayers.
Clearly Brady needs to scream at his teammates harder.
I mean, I’m not exactly dying to see a new tomb raider movie, but Walton Goggins makes everything better.
Oh can’t wait for Brady’s tantrum… er “passionate discussion” on the sidelines.
If drinking more water prevents sunburns, maybe it will prevent looking like a pussy in the pocket, too.
You don’t see Tom “Happy Feet” Brady very often.
he ducked like FOUR FUCKING TIMES
and nobody was that close yet
it’s great.
Brady looks like a fawn getting chased by wolves.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS
I’m going to go for a walk. Luckily, my boobs aren’t quite as dangerously bouncy.
https://gfycat.com/PerkySlushyAndalusianhorse
I’m sure the boys still get brought to the yard…
I’m seriously getting an erection.
SO FUCKING DREAMY!!!!!!!!
I’ll never get over how fucking immobile Brady is.
DID YOU SEE HOW SCARED HE WAS??
DED
Guess Brady was getting back at Burkhead for that cut hand with that pass.
4th & Dead
the jags answer the question “what if the ravens were likable?”
/Brady over throws WR
No Comment
Or
“The WR wasn’t in the right spot”
Brady returns the favour from practice with murderball
That hurt a little I think.
Nantz sounded so surprised that the Pats could float a pass down field and not get a flag.
Brady is getting happy feet.
I’m hoping it’s followed by a broken heart.
Jags got some swag
Nice overthrow Brady. Learn that from BLAINE GABBERT?
smelling pickerception…
You know something’s weird when Nance is audibly surprised there wasn’t a bullshit PI flag there
Just turned it on. So two more scores until NE becomes invincible?
ItIsAGoodDayToDie