Your “Love Is A Four-Legged Word” Monday Evening Open Thread

Dogs are great.

I have much more respect and love for dogs than I do for most humans.  Yes, I stand by that statement.

Tonight, live on FS1 beginning at 8pmEST, is the 142nd Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.  And you’re damn well gonna watch it.

Wanna know why you’re gonna watch it?  Because you’re all a bunch of perverts who love dogs (no not like that).  And leading up to this year’s edition of the dog show is a retrospective highlight show of 2016’s WKC Dog Show beginning at 7pmEST on FS1.  Which according to my teevee box is being hosted by one Katie Nolan…for some reason…

(something something doggy style something something)

But right now, I know you perverts are changing your channels just to get a look at her.  Because you’re perverts, just like me.  You’re also drunkards, just like me.  So by the time the actual dog show begins at 8pm, you’ll be too drunk to figure out how to change the channel.  Which is fine.

Dogs are great.  And the competition will be fierce.

Night One Tonight

Tonight, beginning at 8pmEST is the first half.  Tonight it’s the Hounds, Toys, Non-Sporting and Herding breeds…

Hounds:  Yes the Weiner Dog (aka Dachshund) is in this group.  Not surprisingly, tWBS has made a lot of money doing back surgery on these little genetic misfits.  So, we like them.

Dachshund puppy who likes soda.

Toys:  If you have to have a little dog, the Pug or the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel is the way to go.

Narcissistic Pug.

Non-Sporting:  Some good choices here.  Also some bad.  The English Bulldog and the French Bulldog are probably my favs.  The Boston Terrier is cool too.  But I swear on my mother’s life, do not ever get a Shiba Inu.  I’ve never yet met one of those assholes I didn’t want to euthanize on sight.

French Bulldog on the wrong side of the law.

Herding:  Lotsa good dogs here.  Hard to make a bad choice.  But my favorite, if I have to make a choice, is the Border Collie.  These guys are smarter than most humans, and with a much better temperament, too!!!!!!

Border Collie

Night Two Tomorrow

Tomorrow (Tuesday) will be night #2.  It will include the Sporting, Terrier and Working breeds.  And will then culminate with Best in Show, of course.

Sporting:  Again, a lot of good choices and a lot of bad.  If you ever want to own a Wiemaraner or a German Shorthaired Pointer, then you should have your head examined.  But there are a lot of good ones here too, Including the Golden Retriever and the Labrador Retriever.  Both personal favorites of tWBS.  But for my money, go with the Chesapeake Bay Retriever.  They are some gentle yet badass mofos.  No shit.  Basically a Chocolate Lab with easier grooming and less stupidity and a slight chip on their shoulder.

Chesapeake Bay Retriever

Terriers:  A rather diverse group.  And most of them can be yuuuuuuge assholes.  I can respect that.  My favorite from this group is likely one most of you have never heard of.  The Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier.  These are great dogs.  I’ve never met one yet that wasn’t pretty damned awesome.  The Airedale is pretty good too.  But like most terriers, occasionally you have to kick an Airedale in the head to keep them in line.

Soft Coated Wheaten Terriers.

Working Dogs:  My favs, if I’m being honest.  These are some badass bitches.  It’s difficult for me to pick a favorite, so in no particular order….

Alaskan Malamute. Gentle, but tough as nails when necessary.
The Rottweiler is protective, and loyal to a fault.  But also potentially strong willed and dumb. I’ve owned two, and I miss them both.  But they’re a handful, to be sure.
Bernese Mountain Dog. Given all considerations…temperament, intelligence, loyalty, etc….the best dog on the planet IMHO. I will own one before I die. And I’m not just saying that to curry favor from BeerGuyRob. These are some good fookin’ dogs.

Honorable Mention:

The Official DFO Mascot Dog, the South African Boerboel. Get it? Boerboel? But also they’re too big for their own good, they eat a lot, drink a lot and smell bad. And like to hang out with hot chicks according to this image. So, it all comes full circle.  This dog IS us.

Other Non-Canine Viewables

NHL

No national telecasts.  Check your locals.

Full Schedule

NBA

  • Knicks at Sixers – 7pmEST – TV: NBATV

Full Schedule

NCAAB

Top25 on TV:

  • Notre Dame at (14)U*NC – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPN
  • TCU at (20)WVU – 9:00pmEST – TV: ESPN2

Full Schedule

You can also watch the Olympics I guess.  But I don’t think there will be any dogs involved.  Meh.

Every Dog Has His Day

 

So get a snack…
Clean yourselves up…
Hug those you love…
Have a drink to relax if you need to…
Then get settled in for a long coupla nights of butt sniffing.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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SonOfSpam

Old English Sheepdog! “Mornin Sam” “Mornin Ralph”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Marrying material right there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Prime rib beef curtains.

ballsofsteelandfury

That dude needs to sharpen his knife. That’s too much struggle for a piece of meat.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s NOT WHAT SHE SAID!.

*He’s probably just hungry; it’s still hot, get ‘er done, let’s eat.

Wakezilla

I’ll take two of the pink

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

Smooth Collie:

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Brick Meathook

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Gratliff

Pure evil. Throw that thing in down a mineshaft.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wait a god damn minute! I really like Sigourney Weaver!

Romonobyl

Dammit I have GOT to learn to type faster!

Romonobyl

I don’t know, I thought she was pretty good in Ghostbusters.

litre_cola

Well now that the pug made it , I suppose I have to watch tomorrow.

/was going to do it anyway. Hang out with Oxipug while he is drugged up.

Romonobyl

Yeah, I was wondering how the visit went too.

litre_cola

Well, huge improvement. Was coughing like he had smoked 3 packs a day. Took some stuff, and hasn’t coughed since. Hopefully it helps his trachea and he makes it past 11 years! I feel much better than I did this morning that is for sure. His time is coming and I am not ready to accept it.

SonOfSpam

Good. Dogs should be around forever. NO ONE DENIES THIS.

SonOfSpam

/wafts chili fart due East

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Did you smell it yet?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s the one with Cheeto dust on his dick.

Not some rookie who eats Doritos, BTW.

SonOfSpam

Counterpoint:

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Wakezilla

Not wrapped in actual newspaper.

2/10. Still would eat

SonOfSpam

Something Prince Charles has said weekly for about 50 years.

SonOfSpam

Canaan Dog – a good dog, and enjoys getting kibble on sale.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also long walks, many sniffing stops, please.

SonOfSpam

Stupid sexy Bouvier de Flandres

SonOfSpam

“Good boy”

– Aaron R.

SonOfSpam

Just let him OD for Allah’s sake.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

What’s great about her is that she might give one a good-natured pity screw.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, that’s great; I’d only take about seventeen seconds, so it wouldn’t involve any effort…. maybe even just finish the moment I heard about it. “Oh YES I WOOOO….uld…… never mind.”

SonOfSpam

Yep, she’d never feel a thing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Run side to side to make contact….. this line works for small penis joke OR your mom’s vagina is so big joke.

SonOfSpam

YAY Belgian Malinois! (Ours is a mix and very good and very insane and very good)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

First dwarf in the bitcoin mines in Toronto, Canada (circa 2018).

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

So the new trend of infecting websites with javascript to steal your process cycles for coin mining has been dubbed cryptojacking, and I’ve been laughing every time I think of the word. This isn’t especially relevant. I just really love that they went with “cryptojacking”.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wow, learned something here; I thought it was a reaction of some when the price went up.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Sharing is a foreign concept to most canines.

Romonobyl

So a woman of Asian descent wins gold for the USA.
This is when I can say “AMERICA…FUCK YEAH!!!” and actually mean it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightly….. hummmmmm.

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Romonobyl

They’re awfully skinny to have to be coated in flour.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ummm, okaaaaay.

Romonobyl

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Romonobyl

Da fuq?

Romonobyl

Try again…

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Senor Weaselo

I second this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Dueling banjos has changed over the years
https://video.twimg.com/tweet_video/DV4lEgvWkAAOzk5.mp4

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Today’s BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUN news:
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Some breeds have tendencies and behavioral characteristics that manifest themselves to varying degrees, the biggest factor in my experience is the owner; whether they be assholes, neglecters, or spoilers who let the dog be the pack alpha those dogs are usually assholes because they don’t know proper structure and consistency, which they strive for and desire instinctively. The exception being just like humans; there are some that are just wired wrong. In my experience if you meet a cool dog, most likely someone in his/ her pack is cool. IMNSHO.

I have a large German Shepard mix, fairly alpha female (size, teeth, and technique to back it up). She is the best. If I was younger and more of a social person she’d also be a great wing-dog to pick up de women. Unfortunately a large percentage are in the Roy Moore taste range. Best talent; shedding.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She likes to play and some medium size dogs don’t quite understand; when someone twice your size starts pulling you around you’d be a bit nervous too.

Brick Meathook

That dog is Italian.

Romonobyl

Fortunately he’s not Korean.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

While German, and not sexually aggressive she may well have learned this behavior from Federico Fellini movies, which in hindsight I never should have let her watch. Especially 8-1/2.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The part you talked about humans; growing up my grandparents had a ranch and I remember the dogs’ and cats’ names and personalities much better than any childhood human friends.

Romonobyl

You are correct, especially the babe-magnet part. I’ll take my Shepherd to Home Depot and other puppy friendly places all the time and he never fails to draw a crowd. Of course it is either little kids or their great-grandparents, but every now and then something in the middle happens by and thinks he’s such a pretty dog! I, of course, barely exist, but I can’t blame them. I wish I had one of these 25 years ago!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I knew shockingly casual racism was a Boston thing, but I didn’t realize it extended up to New Hampshire, too, where my mom was born.

She just asked me if my wife – whose last name is Kim – is related to Chloe Kim.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Well?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Act like you are coughing.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

That’s just silly.

But she is related to my old Econ Professor, right?

http://web.sonoma.edu/uaffairs/media/experts/kim_chong.html

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Well, could be……..

montythisseemsstrangetome

Chloe Kim won a gold medal and she’s not even a Kardashian.

litre_cola

Pug. Excellent.

Beerguyrob

The least objectionable of the toy breeds. Excellent choice for victor.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Pugxcellent.

Romonobyl

Woman’s luge on NBCSN. Fortunately no wrecks so far, brings a new meaning to the term “stubbing your toe”.

Beerguyrob

The Pekingese is just a sentient tribble. The definition of a useless dog.

Also, the Affenpinscher named Emmitt is way smarter than Emmitt Smith.

Romonobyl

I have no love for purse dogs. They’re animals, not accessories.

WCS

“Meow oink moo!” — dog Emmitt Smith

Senor Weaselo

“Al Franken got caught being an Affenpinscher, that’s why he had to resign from the Senators.” -Emmitt Smith

Spanky Datass

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Watching the women’s halfpipe. Australian rider just ate it big time. I mean, literally ate it. I though I saw her mouth bleeding.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BAM! She ain’t pretty no more.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She’ll heal up…just fine……

ArmedandHammered

I want a Brussels Griffin. It looks like a shaved wookie.

litre_cola

Toy group best group

Romonobyl

To think I used to like you…

litre_cola

Haha, only because I am a pug guy. Family has had them for years,and Oxipug is getting on in age. The ‘real’ dogs we had were pointers and beagles.

Romonobyl

Consider yourself pardoned, do carry on.

WCS

Alright, time for WVU to put me in a bad mood again.

Romonobyl

No German Shepherd competing this year in the Herding Group, apparently he has a hematoma in his ear so had to bow-wow out (see what I did there?). No GSD, no dog show as far as we’re concerned.
This was our first Shep, he was 8 years old when this was taken, and we lost him shortly after due to cancer. We had no warning, we took him to the vet because he wasn’t eating much, only to find his spleen had burst and surgery showed cancer everywhere. He had to be put down right there. That was about two years ago, a night my family won’t forget anytime soon. He was a great dog and I was surprised how upset I got after he died, never had the loss of a pet hit me so hard.
Hope I didn’t put a downer on the thread. To end on a good note we do have a new overpriced Shepherd and he’s the typical little shit. Hopefully he’ll mellow out soon. Back to the dick jokes!!!

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Romonobyl

Thanks, he was an awesome animal. He could roughhouse with you and not leave so much as a scratch, but was capable of flattening an inflated basketball with one bite.
Respect the choppers.

Gratliff

?It better be Goebbels n bits n bits n bits n bits?

herodotus450

Especially weird since Fox Sports basically fired Katie Nolan but didn’t want to actually fire her, so they just cancelled all her shows and then espn hired her?

rockingdog

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Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So I’m getting DFO Radio ready and I was looking at that first Katie Nolan gif on a look against Real Life’s “Send Me an Angel”. Very apt.

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ballsofsteelandfury

This lady is curling right now:

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scotchnaut

She’s gonna hurry your hard-on right onto her button whether you like it or not.

ArmedandHammered

You are right about the Airedale, you do have to kick them in the head occasionally to show who’s boss but they are extremely loyal and tough as nails, we always had one growing up. Great snake dogs, even have a distinctive bark when they find one. I learned to stay away when I heard that bark, damn dog almost wrapped a copper head around my neck one night when I went out to see what he had gotten a hold of.

litre_cola

Irony is deep as I am at the vet with Oxipug right now.

scotchnaut

It’s getting near to that time gentlemen…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pes91XdfJsM

rockingdog

I’m rooting for Stone, my hometown brewery in this. Go get em!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So you people all agree that Tessa Virtue sounds like it should be the name of a comic strip character’s (Dick Tracy or maybe Gil Thorpe) girlfriend, right?

ballsofsteelandfury

WHERE ALL MY BITCHES AT??

FS1 sir, and please don’t yell.

Senor Weaselo

Love is a four-letter word, a battlefield, a Commentist, but love is not a porn star! Well, it can be, I guess.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EwvmpFC1Fo