NFL News:
This is sure going to hurt morale at The Dak Prescott School Of Maturity, but Doug Martin has been cut by the Bucs.
- Considering the average lifespan of a hamster is two years, it appears the muscled-kind can triple that span.
- As predicted/feared, Rae Carruth is seeking custody of his son.
- The physically-challenged son, because he was a premie, because his father hired some men to kill his mother so he wouldn’t be born.
- I can’t wait for the “Movie of the Week”.
- The physically-challenged son, because he was a premie, because his father hired some men to kill his mother so he wouldn’t be born.
- Baker Mayfield has announced he will not attend the NFL Draft in Arlington.
- Because why show your appreciation at being drafted to a tire fire LIVE on TV.
It’s gone so well before.
- Today marks the opening of the Franchise & Transition Tag window.
- In an unrelated event, Kirk Cousins has had his phone turned off all day.
In phrasing that doesn’t remind of Hank Scorpio or Ernst Blofeld, nfl.com names a frontrunner to buy the Panthers.
- It’s “Billionaire hedge fund manager and philanthropist David Tepper”, because those are usually two great things that go great together.
- To further elaborate, “Tepper, whose net worth has been estimated at $11 billion by Forbes, currently owns a five percent stake in the Steelers.”
- so it looks like he’s willing to up his game, like Jimmy Haslam.
Tonight’s sports:
- Olympics:
- NBCSN | 7:00PM – Figure Skating (women’s short)
- NBC | 8:00PM – Snowboarding, Bobsled, Alpine, Figure Skating
- CNBC | 10:00PM – Men’s hockey: Czech Republic vs. USA
- CBC |
- TSN | 7:00PM – Curling – Women’s Round Robin: Canada vs. Great Britain
- Sportsnet1
- 7:30PM – Men’s Snowboarding
- 9:00PM – Ladies’ Downhill Skiing
- 11:00PM | Men’s Freestyle Skiing
- NHL: no national broadcasts; regional coverage only
- NBA: last day of the All-Star break
- NCAA:
- Creighton at Butler – 7:00PM | FS1
- Illinois at Michigan State – 7:00PM | ESPN
- West Virginia at Baylor – 7:00PM | ESPN2
- Kentucky at Arkansas – 9:00PM | ESPN
- Mississippi at Missouri – 9:00PM | ESPN2
- MLS:
- 2018 CONCACAF Champions League:
- Round of 16 – Colorado vs. Toronto FC – 10:00PM | TSN2
- 2018 CONCACAF Champions League:
Sorry everything’s a bit truncated today. I had a full class, which left little time to craft the majestic pieces I throw up for you most every night. I CAN’T PROMISE TO DO BETTER!
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2
I feel like that “2” was unnecessary
I feel like Kevin James is unnecessary.
related! …..LOL!!!! It syncs up with Dark Side of The Moon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7wyfTsIm1k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyJuSjpoMfg
Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
Jon Voight…he is bad with his money I guess?
And parenting. And political opinions.
A lot of skiers seem to be trying to take shortcuts down the hill, only realizing too late that such tactics DQ them,
You’d think they’d be told that beforehand.
World War II
True, the ending was so set up for even more sequels.
It had a much better opening premise than it’s predecessor. The Archduke’s car stalls right in front of Gavrillo Princip? So forced!
World War III is going to be a doozy, though.
“Gonna be tremendous, break all the records, I’m an idiot”
Passion of the Christ 2: Jesus Gets His Groove Back is gonna be pretty terrible.
“More holes in the plot than there are in Him!”
-Roger Ebert, At The Movies
“Or my face.”
-Ibid
Jesus walks into a hotel and drops some nails on the counter.
“Hey, can you put me up for the night?”
There are a lot of crashes tonight.
I want a compilation of the crashes with Spanish Flea and Benny Hill Theme as the background music please!
“How was your drive, Mr. LaRussa?”
It’s amazing that there are as few as they are, considering they’re trying to ski down a 60 degree hill covered in ice with gusts of wind blowing up at them.
Tangential: Down here in TX, the TransGuide signs on the freeway always warn of “accidents” ahead when they occur. I noticed up home in Mass and RI, the TransGuide sign warns of “crashes,” not “accidents.” This is true of the traffic reports on the local TV and radio broadcasts as well. Weird.
If someone told me about TransGuide with warnings in Texas without an explanation, I’d have a very different idea of what they were warning against.
That’s because many car crashes in the New England area aren’t exactly accidents.
Jim Irsay got his license back?
And now my fucking TV is showing a promo for the fucking remake of the Death Wish film.
I fucking detest everything about that movie.
Bruce Willis is just going to phone it in for lazy cash. Eli Roth is a goddamn hack. The film is not going to have the goofy retarded over the top nature of the the originals.
I am certain they are going to try and make this movie straight so its just like yet another fucking revenge porn snore fest, completely missing the fact that the original Death Wish films were unintentional comedies.
Yeah, but it will sell a zillion tickets in Trump’s America. Especially if Bruce shoots up a bunch of minorities.
That’s exactly what this piece of shit is. It’s even set in fucking Chicago for maximum MAGA priapism.
Godfather 3.
There will be no further discussion on this topic.
Miss Congeniality 2? WHY DID THEY MAKE EVEN ONE????
Police Academy 2-7
Pretty much everyone Bode Miller has identified to knock Vonn off the podium has wound up in a fence.
The Phantom Menace
Taken 5: The Re-Takening…I felt it just lost the magic of the previous four films in the series.
2nd Liam Neeson slam today for you…did a gruff Irishman hurt you?
I actually think he is a brilliant actor who is a victim of the Hollywood machine to churn out super cheap films that are easy to translate for the overseas markets.
Everyone understands violence. There is no nuance to it on the screen. So he is stuck being a cash cow.
Yeah, but at least he commits. Having said that, I’ve paid for exactly none of his movies lately.
I know he makes a lot of money, so its not like I can feel too bad for him…
But its got to get frustrating to go from Schindler’s List to the same formulaic action movie role every 18 months.
Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. I tried to like it, but I just can’t.
The Neverending Story Part 2 was so bad I hired a lawyer to sue the producers.
GWB’s 2nd term was a pretty bad sequel.
Big Juicy Asses 2 – The return of taint.
Death of a Salesman II
Highlander II: The Quickening
While this is a strong contender, it pales in comparison to Highlander: The Source, the Syfy version of a Syfy Version of a Highlander movie. It’s so fucking bad. Particularly heartbreaking as I’ve always loved the movies, series, AND cartoon.
Matrix: Reloaded
Fun fact: Once that movie ended, I stood up and booed
The original Matrix doesn’t exactly age well itself. Its like a myspace page from the late 90’s.
For the life of me though, I have no fucking idea what they were trying to achieve with those sequels.
1st Movie: Computer Jesus
2nd Movie: Money
3rd Movie: Money
Too bad they pissed all that money away on V for Vendetta, Speed Racer, Cloud Atlas (which I actually liked), and Jupiter Ascending.
V for Vendetta…there is a movie where if someone tries to start explaining to me how brilliant it is, I know right away they are a fucking moron.
I loved the graphic novel, but I guess it would have been impossible to adapt to film properly. Same as just about every Alan Moore thing ever.
I love me some Alan Moore but his stuff just does not work with cinema. The same with Grant Morrison. I love his shit and a tremble at the thought of someone trying to put a lot of his vertigo stuff to film because it just would never fucking work.
I think what they might have been trying to achieve was financial independence. Or enough money for the gender switch operation.
One of my weirder coworkers told me he has seen the Matrix at least 8 times. Of course I asked him why:
“Because it answers a lot of questions”.
Perfectly straight face the whole time, thank God he quit a few years later.
My dad used the “Morpheus shows Neo the Matrix” scenes as a lesson when he was a Youth Pastor. Its actually a pretty clever version of explaining how newly saved people should react to the world. Not with super powers or kung fu; with explaining that this world is the corrupted sinful world and the real world is Heaven with God and our job is to save as many others so they can unplug themselves from the world of sin.
I’m not doing it justice, its was a good lesson.
The sequel to On The Beach was just a coke bottle on a string tapping out morse code dots and dashes on the radio for two hours, but there was no one to hear it, because everyone was already dead.
bahahaha!
Whoever made the decision to hire Bode Miller as the color guy for the Alpine skiing events must be kicking the bejesus out of themselves.
Flyera win, Caps lose, as it was foretold.
The sequel to “Flyera” was pretty bad too.
This article does a better job of articulating my views as to why Black Panther is pretty problematic
http://bostonreview.net/race/christopher-lebron-black-panther
Though, the upcoming sequel Schindler’s Digital Assistant Reminder Queue looks like a can’t miss.
“The tweet is life”.
Good evening.
Bad sequels, sports category:
Slapshot 2 AND 3
Major League 2 AND 3
Rocky 5
Air Bud 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_lsV1D9kG8&t=84
There’s nothing in this rule book about the sequel having to be good.
All Air Bud movies need the Old Yeller treatment.
Fuck Stephen Baldwin so much
“NHL: no national broadcasts; regional coverage only”
Gary Fucking Bettman.
The funny thing is, he wants to take the NHL to China’s for the exposure for prime time games. Wanna know when NHL players could have been exposed to China’s market during their primetime hours? The fucking Korean Olympics.
Well, Bettman’s a fucking idiot, so there’s that.
If you can even consider it a movie, Caddyshack 2 is right up there with BB2000 for bad sequels.
Well, we’re waiting.
I firmly believe Caddyshack 2 is why Bill Murray refuses to do a second sequel to Ghostbuster. Its his way at getting back and Akyrod for doing his character in the sequel.
Hot Taek: Ghostbusters isn’t nearly as good as people say it is.
HOTTER TAEK: I’ve never seen Ghostbusters.
Yeah, that’s an abortion. And not at all funny, unlike actual abortions.
You must live in a vacuum.
/shows self out…
Yep, just scrapin’ by.
Well, maybe not live
I’m putting you all on a 24 week hiatus.
I’m trying to evolve, I really am. But how is homosexuality okay when two female ends of the pipe to my outdoor sump pump won’t connect? Huh?! Explain that?!*
*Have be up 20 hours, been to five hardware stores and apparently no one has heard of a vertical float, and a weeklong monsoon is due in five hours.
A double ended coupler will solve that for you. Might have to scissor it a bit to get it to fit.
/cums
I tried. Neither Home Depot, Lowes or Menards have it. The closest they have is a Repair Coupler (too big even though its the right size) and a female to female adapter.
I asked the worker for male-to-male adapter or coupler and he acted like I was talking about a mythical object.
When that pirate told you to “check out Menards” that wasn’t what he meant.
You could live where I do where there are no basements because we live 17ft above sea level. Try to ignore the hurricanes of course.
“Just watch us.”
-City of Raleigh
We’re above sea level too, its just our yard is the lowest compared to our neighbors, so it all runs to my back corner. It used to just run to the back of the yard and just stay there, but my dad decided to redo the backyard without thinking about silly things like drainage.
Learn from Redshirt’s Parents: Bring a laser level when shopping for a house.
Flyera with a late goal. MOAR BETTMAN POINTS
Another shitty sequel…Clerks II.
I fucking cannot stand Kevin Smith. I think he is incredibly overrated as a writer and a director…but I really enjoyed Clerks.
I always wished he used the original ending that has Dante getting shot in the face to end the film as it would have prevented the remake from ever happening.
I’m not sure what was more insulting, Smith writing in that the loser Dante has two [women fighting over him (Rosario Dawson and his wife) or seeing a clearly fucked up Jason Mewes being pulled out of rehab so he could portray Jay one more fucking time.
Oh such lazy fucking writing…which is saying a LOT for Kevin Smith.
He writes women characters slightly better than whoever the fuck has written the Twilight series.
Gonna disagree based entirely on this gif
You make some good, bouncy points.
I hear Kevin Smith gets DOUBLE frequent flier miles because he has to buy two seats.
Sorry JustStopDude, your arguments are invalid.
Unlike most of his movies, at least he meant well in this sequel.
Clerks 2? Nah. That movie was pretty good until the end.
A sheltered Mormon wife.
GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!!!
http://abc7news.com/3114291/
Evening commentists. Hope you are all well. Winter can fuck right off.
Winter? It was 78 today.
SoCal – mid-upper 50s today, upper 30s tonight. WEIRD.
We have 3 times our normal snowfall here and it has been frigid all winter. No reprieve.
Yeah, but you come from the land of the ice and snow from the midnight sun where the harsh winds blow.
The rest of us are in civilization.
Hmmmm…. Maybe this whole trump Wall thing is just a long festering resentment over a radio station that played the same song too much.
If so, then we’d be walling off Sweet Home Alabama. If I never hear that shit again, my fat white ass will be happy. I mean, it’s pert, but still kinda fat.
Local stations here are no longer starting it with Happiest Days of Our Lives and I’m triggered af
Somewhere along the line “anthro” apparently was changed to mean “money”.
Watching the Olympics today and the Moir/Sale gold medal win is even more impressive because given the names of the judges at the event, apparently the fix was in for the French to win gold.
How bad must the French feel to have it rigged for them and still not win gold?
Also, how messed up is this sport that people were apparently calling the fix weeks before the Olympics?
Crooked French figure skating judges? Next you’ll be telling me an Olympic Athlete from Russia was caught doping!
*Ron Howard enters stage left*
What is it about curling that requires PEDs? Can we get some for the janitor where I work so he can sweep more than one office floor a day?
You mean Moir/Virtue?
Yup. I was thinking about Jamie Sale,who temporairly got screwed over in 2002.
She’s purdy.
Momma Mia 2: Fuck You, That’s Why
Good chat game…worst sequel.
So many…to choose…from.
For me, the single worst movie sequel (until I think of another one)…is Blues Brothers 2000.
Its the sequel no one fucking wanted except Dan Aykroyd, who needed a paycheck.
Speed 2
Batman and Robin
bahahahaha….. Speed 2: Cruise Control
Get it….Cruise? As in a Cruise Ship?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3279Ry6bN4k
I have a hard time seeing Speed 2 as worse than Blues Brothers 2000 because the original Speed wasn’t as good of a movie as Blues Brothers was.
Its basically a big deal because the dude from Bill and Ted turned into a heart throb/action hero. I’m not saying its bad. And I fucking LOVE me some Dennis Hopper scene chewing.
Blues Brothers is an amazing movie because of its sound track and the performance of so many artists that never ever had an opportunity to appear in film before that point. And it was made in an era when a lot of weird movies were made that could never be made today.
Fucking Speed gets remade every 16 months but it just stars Liam Neeson.
Blues Brothers is iconic in my eyes, if for the soundtrack alone. Aretha Franklin? Say no more, we’re talking about the foundation of Motown here.
I might be biased however, because I actually lived in Elwood, IL as an infant before moving to Joliet as a teen. I even had a high school job in the shopping center where they had the car chase scene. Orland Park Mall IIRC.
Coolest story evah, bro!
I’ll see your BB 2000 (what an abhorrent waste of celluloid) and raise you Speed 2 and Independence Day Regurgitate. I still have emotional scars from those abominations.
MIB 2 was a huge disappointment for me. It’s probably not the worst movie ever made, but it sure was a letdown.
Anyone who says “Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo” gets a shoe upside their head.
Them’s fightin’ words ’round here partner. B2-EB is required viewing for the faithful. Didn’t you get the pamphlet? You should have gotten a pamphlet, or at least a flyer.
I received a missive via teletype.
Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Really? Enjoyed it.
The Dame can’t wait to go see that. Thank God she has nieces in town.
I’m watching a replay of Superb Owl 50. I forgot how Two of the Good Ones went all cray-cray in Q2, pretty much allowing Mistuh Richardson’s Happy Plantation Workers to get back in it.
Thank God for the part-time Chicken Farmer/full-time hipster/QB destroyer.
Honest question and I don’t mean to sound stupid…but is it possible to only cash part of a check?
2014 I was working completely overseas. PWC did my taxes. Turns out they fucked it up royally to the tune of $3500 owed to the state of VA, which they sent me a bill for.
I’m pissed, but I got to pay it. They will compensate me for the late fees. So I send off the check.
I check my checking account this evening, and the check was cashed…but only for $2700 dollars.
How the fuck is that possible? Is this some new way to generate fees and penalties by only cashing part of a fucking check each time?
Am i high right now? What the fuck is going on?!?!
Might be time to befriend an accountant.
My tax situation is actually not that bad and its pretty straight forward.
I just don’t get how the tax office can cash only part of my check. How does that even work>
That’s what I mean. The only time that’s ever happened to me is when we overpaid and had a surplus for next time. But, that was with rent and the power bill, never with taxes.
Ah…I got you. That kind of makes sense.
I mean I am sure as shit calling them in the morning to try and figure this out. I still have not filed my 2018 taxes yet…
It might just be the equivalent of a typo. Weird stuff happens at banks from time to time – more rarely these days, but it still happens.
Sharks vs Blues 2nite.
The only previous news I’d heard about anyone buying the Panthers was a group of wealthy African-Americans, so of course the real frontrunner is a giant white potato-looking motherfucker.
The President?
No. This guy is an actual billionaire. He’s vulture fund manager, which makes him a real bastard even among hedge funders, but he seems to know his shit.
A true hero.
Oh, that’s clever. It goes down as a tax write-off, and less than 100% of the money on those cards actually gets redeemed.
Sounds like whitey will fit right in with the rest of those scumbags
Gonna be real treat when the Tracksuits blow this.
I was just thinking the same thing about teh wuffies.
My bank account could use both of these outcomes!
/will get neither
I’ve never seen a first place team tank the way the Capitals have
Two months early.
They’re extremely lucky to be part of the tire fire clown car Metro.
That’s for both of you, just so we’re clear.
I drove to the local park this afternoon with my friend. He got out of the office early.
We here hanging out and hot-boxing in my car when this other car drove around us and down the hill into the mud.
5 min later we both walked down, told him to put it in neutral, and helped push him out of the mud.
Doin good then feeling good!
Do you live in Dazed and Confused? Because I’ll visit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOdIUbOUsfg
That movie deserved a lot more attention than it got.
It really did. I totally enjoyed it.
The NCAA is horrid, but Rick Pitino can eat all the shitburgers.
In 15 seconds
Xmas Ape knows whats up…
https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/966003872388075520
How can a guy own the Steelers and the Panthers? I mean, besides Tom Brady.
The NFL has a very well known and firm policy on the subject:
See: Haslam, Jimmy
The cheating helps.
/watching “A Soldier’s Story” back in 1984
Me: “Woo Wee! That there is a state of the art something or other comment about race relations!”
/watching it today
Me: “Not sure I get what’s going on here? Little help?”
A bird flew into the house today, and my terrier chased it around til it left.
I can see now, that was an omen to take Butler over Creighton.
I BROUGHT MY PENCIL – GIMME SOMETHIN TO WRITE ON, MAN
In GAMBLOR, seems I was right to predict my shitty wolves would struggle with BC, quite wrong to expect BayBay to continue its winning ways against a punch-drunk WV.
Well, yinz have a yuuuuuge lead, surely it must be safe?
Evening!
I recognize Eli Manning, but who is the dude on the right?
Eric Lindros, who famously refused to even hold up the Nordiques jersey when he got drafted first overall.
Big fan of the decision, myself