NFL News:
- Unexpectedly, Jerry Jones has given up & will repay the NFL the $2.0 million they say he cost them fighting Zeke’s suspension.
- Can we now officially call Jerry Jones a “quitter”?
- Somewhere behind a closed door at 345 Park Avenue, Roger Goodell kicked a small puppy & cheered himself.
- The Rams are sending LB Alec Ogletree to the Giants for 2018 4th & 6th round selections.
- It’s a pure salary dump, as they need space to pay all the young talent coming due in the next couple of years.
- The Patriots are releasing Martellus Bennett.
- Because
- He was as hurt as the Packers said he was, and
- He’s owed a $2.0 million roster bonus March 17th.
- And the Patriots paying anyone a dollar more than they’re obligated to?
- Because
- Salary cap chicanery in Pittsburgh, as Antonio Brown agreed to turn his base salary into a signing bonus.
- He converted most of his $7.875 million base salary and his $6 million roster bonus into signing bonuses, making his 2018 salary $915,000.
- It frees up $9.7 million in cap space
- To quote ESPN directly, “the addition of Le’Veon Bell’s $14.544 million franchise tag puts the Steelers $8.7 million over the salary-cap line. The Brown restructure brings the Steelers $1.022 million into the positive.”
- And Peter King’s got issues with Le’Veon Bell’s value of himself, BTW.
- To quote ESPN directly, “the addition of Le’Veon Bell’s $14.544 million franchise tag puts the Steelers $8.7 million over the salary-cap line. The Brown restructure brings the Steelers $1.022 million into the positive.”
- It frees up $9.7 million in cap space
- He converted most of his $7.875 million base salary and his $6 million roster bonus into signing bonuses, making his 2018 salary $915,000.
Finally, here’s how you know I renewed my Seahawks tickets yesterday:
- The Seahawks this afternoon announce Michael Bennett will be traded to the Eagles for WR Marcus Johnson & a fifth-round pick.
- Richard Sherman is texting goodbyes to teammates, and the Seahawks are looking to trade him.
- Walking PED suspension & former Pete Carroll Trojan Brian Cushing is visiting the team as a free agent.
THANKS FOR THE MONEY, BEERGUY! HOPE YOU ENJOY 5-11!
God, someone fire me into the sun.
Thanks NASA.
You can get yours here.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Flames at Sabres – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
- Penguins at Flyers – 8:00PM | NBCSN
- Coyotes at Canucks – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
- NBA:
- Raptors at Pistons – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN4 (The Brier is on the main network)
- Cavaliers at Nuggets – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN5
- NCAA:
- Tournament games:
- ACC:
- Virginia Tech vs. Notre Dame – 7:00PM | ESPN2
- North Carolina vs. Syracuse – 9:00PM | ESPN2
- Big 12:
- Oklahoma State vs. Oklahoma – 7:00PM | ESPNU
- Texas vs. Iowa State – 9:00PM | ESPNU
- Big East:
- Georgetown vs. St. John’s – 7:00PM | FS1
- Marquette vs. DePaul – 9:30PM | FS1
- ACC:
- Tournament games:
- Futbol:
- 2018 CONCACAF Champions League:
- Quarterfinal – Leg #1: Toronto FC vs. Tigres – 8:00PM | TSN2
- 2018 CONCACAF Champions League:
With the imminent end of the Legion of Boom in sight, I thought I’d use Low Commander’s photoshop one last time. THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES!
Got wine. Got chili.
Confession time: A podcast about the Noid subliminally conned me into ordering pizza for lunch and I managed to eat two medium pizzas this afternoon. I’ve felt like exploding ever since. I suck.
UW doing its best NC State impersonation. To teh NIT-mobile!
Thanks for showing up Syracuse. Then again…I guess I should be glad to preserve my Shitty Wolves ™ precious “last 4 bye” status.
We should be ashamed and do not deserve to go.
niiiiiiiiiccccce cock!
She love the cock.
She reminds me of @nachosarah
I hope she doesn’t choke it.
Or maybe I hope she does.
This is a confusing situation.
That’s the worst way to kill it.
Attention old fat people at airports: if you can’t handle the security line, don’t bother going through precheck.
As someone who’s been fat my entire life, I fucking HATE fat people.
Come on beerguyross, no mention of ASU shitting the bed in their first conf tourney game (they SUCK in the conference tourney every year! I’d blame that on Bobby Hurley for burning his players out by mid-January because every play is “run around and out-HUSTLE the opponent” but Hurley’s only been there three years and I feel like they’ve been terrible in the conference tourney since Sendeck.)
Of note, 2014 is the last time asu danced, again, with a squad loaded with experienced upperclassmen getting their one shot. ASU tied for third with 5 teams in the conference at .500 (UA won the conf at 16-2).
As much as I’d like UA to play them tomorrow, I’m happy to take them having to live on the bubble for a few days.
They weren’t listed for national broadcast, so fuck ‘em.
http://www.sportingnews.com/nfl/news/peyton-manning-nfl-thursday-monday-night-football-fox-mnf-espn-10-million-who-replaces-jon-gruden/1cjjru4vzm1eb1e0fvaeb7tikm
Whelp, no reason to change the tradition of watching MNF with the sound off.
Why would anyone ever watch football with the sound on?
I look forward to someone accidentally hitting the button that triggers “KILL KILL KILL” mode.
After 6 weeks of being in second place, I finally took back first place in my fantasy hockey pool. Of course, my team is shitting the bed tonight, so, it’ll be shortly lived.
That is indeed fine quality.
what what!
This Mary Poppins sequel is gonna be weird.
Holy shit! I Just heard the rumour that the Vikings offered Cousins 3 years @91 million guaranteed?
He isn’t that much better than what the Vikings already had. Absolute lunacy.
And the Broncos will end up winnng the Super Bowl with Case Keenum and Trevor Siemian.
I’d be down wit dat.
No; they can’t offer anything until FA is open. March 12, 2018 is the beginning of the tampering period, which runs for 72 hours. After that, beginning on March 14, all unrestricted free agents can begin signing with any clubs.
How hard is it going to be for the Steelers to keep Bell now that they’ve franchise tagged him twice? Does this damage the relationship between the player and the organization?
On the one hand, yes, on the other hand, Bell is getting paid, what? 14 million? As long as the next contract has lots of guaranteed money, he’ll live.
Hell, he doesn’t even have to go to training camp.
They can still work out a deal before the tag becomes official in July. It just guarantees him a shit-ton if money if they don’t.
He will get a shit tonne no matter what, but they should sign him long term anyway.
h
ttps://68.media.tumblr.com/86cfd9d0463b1e52c143861e383c2249/tumblr_mhd8tou3lf1r0bg2co1_1280.jpg
Good grief!
godfuckingdamnit; I never noticed that before; I’ll never make detective now!
No, Mr. Lyft driver, I am not interested in listening to how you can get from Burbank Airport to Culver City at 5pm in less than 50 minutes.
Does his car turn into a helicopter?
Several years ago I was on a business trip in San Fran and the Russian taxi driver who was talking on the phone the whole time got some good air and left tire rubber at each corner…. we kissed the ground in thankfulness of actually making our destination. Fun time AND cool story bro.
Actually, I can see it if you’re lucky with the passes. Coldwater?
Evening.
One of the Longhorns just got his front tooth cracked in half by an elbow. Nasty.
Hey, no blood, no foul!
Are you talking about Latvian dentistry?
https://mic.com/articles/143482/meteorologist-libert-chan-was-forced-to-cover-up-on-air-after-her-dress-offended-viewers?utm_campaign=social&utm_medium=main&utm_source=policymicTBLR#.CLmz0CqiQ
Too sparkly, MY EYES! At least, that’s what I hope the reason was.
Nope. Her shoulders were too sexy for some wine mom.
Nah, wine mom would look at her, and start to think thoughts that she hasn’t had since her clubbing days in her early-mid 20s. Then, she has a sip of her rose and closes her eyes to think how silky smoothe Liberte’s skin must be, before her eyes become bug eyes when her 4 year old little shit screams that they want their fruit loops.
That reminds me, I need to get a corkscrew and can opener.
I’ll see you around.
If you’re gonna tell a threesome story, go to the other post.
For the Los Angeles-based KTLA 5 news team, Saturday morning’s weather forecast:
Meteorologist Liberté Chan was in the middle of her forecast for the 8 a.m. hour when a hand appeared to the right of the screen holding a cardigan, beckoning for her to put it on. A baffled Chan can be heard asking, “What’s going on? You want me to put this on? Why, because it’s cold?” No, Chan wasn’t being asked to cover up because cold weather was in the forecast; according to the man handing her the cardigan, it was because “We’re getting a lot of emails.”
“I’m sorry if I was inappropriate,” she says, explaining that another more “demure” dress hadn’t worked out, forcing her to wear her backup option.
Way to become Saudi Arabia, America.
He he he. Jerral decided to pay “after Jones attended a hearing in front of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and the league’s finance committee Monday in West Palm Beach, Florida”
https://giphy.com/gifs/season-6-the-simpsons-6×13-xT5LMxyMfwFcZpmW5y
I will admit, I am a little bit impressed he got Jerral to crawl. Doesn’t mitigate any of the hate, but still…respek.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBKk1McBLxM
exactly what Hippo thinkin’ of
Stupid AT&T.
Thanks man.
So yeah: Jerry Jones with his tail between his legs is very enjoyable. He’d be a hit in OldTrans.cz.
Bill Walton on PAC-12, talking Las Vegas’ commitment to environmental sustainability.
I fucking love this.
Las Vegas was founded as an affront to God and Nature.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsbyvuO_AqM
you just gots to get God high enough, chuh chuh
Jason Kelce staking his claim as official mascot of Philadelphia
Hat game strong.
Huzzah, didn’t fuck it up!
Getting some good clusterpuck hockey goals now
It was inevitable that if you see enough Russian dashcam videos, eventually one will be underwhelming.
No matter how many of anything you see somebody will always be a fucking critic.
True. I’m an asshole.
He is still not giving any fucks.
That movie where he dresses up as Bigfoot was fucking garbage, though.
Like I said.
Just making sure.
Ice Panthers’ GM Ron Francis has missed the playoffs every year he has been in that position. Naturally, he has been promoted to become the Ice Panthers’ President of Hockey Operations.
However they say it is a promotion in title alone, and that he and the owner do not really get along and the owner wants to be like Mark Cuban and have his hands in everything. Good times.
damn it.I have to pick up my kid from work at 1 am. These 930 fixtures need to be less…shit on toastish
OOK OOK
Let’s all watch how St. John’s blows a 12-point lead in under 4 minutes, because hell, why not?
who do you think you are, Virginia Polytechnic Institute?
Kucherov, Hall, Malkin or Giroux. Or write-in. Who do you all have for the Hart?
I’m thinking it’s either Hall or Giroux, depending on who finishes higher in the standings. I think Kucherov will lose points because he’s on a team of superstars and Malkin is overshadowed by Crosby, which leaves Hall and Giroux.
Jesus, that was unstoppable
Ice Liouns v Ice Cardinals tickets can be bought for $16 on the secondary market at the moment. That seems like a great deal until you add up the surcharges and hidden fees and it comes to just under $500.
Fire Andrew MacDonald into the sun
We need more people fired into the sun.
I’m a trebuchet man myself.
Boomer Sooner keeps trying to be spectacular, when they need to aim for adequacy.
Perfectly cromulent basketballing.
Just came across a meme that is similar to the video below. Elizabeth Lambert, I think I love you. Also, please sign with the Whitecaps.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wd1bxM3uP5A
She is great.
She was a victim of the media. That BYU bitch had it coming because she’d been fucking with Lambert repeatedly earlier in the game, but the refs didn’t give a shit about that. A person can only take so much injustice before they snap.
Go Lobos.
Finding this out makes her even more awesomer.
I concur, I saw the before this incident footage, they are both crazy.
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2018/03/07/dfo-university-sex-103-threesomes/
So Flyers appear to be attempting to murder random penguins
Save the gay ones!
If Cuse could possibly be not-Cuse tonight, Cuse might just get the win.
Flyers matching their worst line against Crosby because Hakstol is in a constant state of guessing at shit
Willie Desjardins of the Ice Liouns used to do that and look at how well he turned out!
so much for that NC State and Notre Dame “momentum” coming into the ACCT…
Is that like the momentum you get when the scissor-lift you’re on tips over in high winds.
Also fuck yeah eagles chant for no reason before the game
Oh yes. Time to find out who wants it less.
This is a great idea! Plus, there’s a hook for his lunchbox, even though he can’t see it or reach it, and couldn’t open it if he could. BTW that’s a Bell & Howell 2709 camera with the famed Unit-I shuttle, the most rock-steady film transport ever made.
I likes DePaul later tonight, wish I could say I liked L’Orange. Wazzu just beat Oh-ray-GAWNE like 10 days ago, no reason why they can’t again in the tweaker match (+625).
Tomorry, Clemson -4 v. tired, beat up, not deep BC side? Me like. Not out of bitterness.
Hippo: Put any akshun on the Trae Youngs-Pokes?
nah, was a tough read. Only like either side as significant dog. I did make small prop bet for Boomer Sooner to come back and tie/take the lead by half.
which…(fart sound)
at least I took VPI moneyline over Domers.
All right, let’s see where we are now…
/…Aaaaand Georgetown takes a 10-point lead
Well then.
Georgetown leads can NEVAR stay (believe one who has bet a few).
I have no idea why…but I really fucking want some Szechuan hot pot.
I actually had the real thing once. I was both murder and fantastic.
Fun fact: Baitin’ & Switchin’ was the name of a buddy comedy staring Kellen Winslow Jr. and Adrian Peterson.
That’s banner material.
I tried, but it was not working for me. TWBS assist?
God damn,that’s good.
Oh hey, St. John’s-Georgetown!
/First shots on both sides get missed
Ehh, after Jeopardy.
Hey, #MeadRobert…why not see if R-Dubs is ready to try going both ways?
Also, I have a sads that tonight was the last time I will be able to bet against Cal hoopsball, and as with City/Basel, mad at myself for not wagering MOAR (that’s on how little I think of the Trees and their bloated turtle motherfucker of a coach). What an absolute wet bag of pigeon shit they are, even by PAC standards.
This should be a one fookin’ bid league.
Based on all the bible quotes, nanobubbles only play one way.