Your “All Good Things…” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Unexpectedly, Jerry Jones has given up & will repay the NFL the $2.0 million they say he cost them fighting Zeke’s suspension.
    • Can we now officially call Jerry Jones a “quitter”?
    • Somewhere behind a closed door at 345 Park Avenue, Roger Goodell kicked a small puppy & cheered himself.
  • The Rams are sending LB Alec Ogletree to the Giants for 2018 4th & 6th round selections.
    • It’s a pure salary dump, as they need space to pay all the young talent coming due in the next couple of years.
  • The Patriots are releasing Martellus Bennett.
    • Because
      1. He was as hurt as the Packers said he was, and
      2. He’s owed a $2.0 million roster bonus March 17th.
    • And the Patriots paying anyone a dollar more than they’re obligated to?

  • Salary cap chicanery in Pittsburgh, as Antonio Brown agreed to turn his base salary into a signing bonus.
    • He converted most of his $7.875 million base salary and his $6 million roster bonus into signing bonuses, making his 2018 salary $915,000.
      • It frees up $9.7 million in cap space
        • To quote ESPN directly, “the addition of Le’Veon Bell’s $14.544 million franchise tag puts the Steelers $8.7 million over the salary-cap line. The Brown restructure brings the Steelers $1.022 million into the positive.”
          • And Peter King’s got issues with Le’Veon Bell’s value of himself, BTW.

Finally, here’s how you know I renewed my Seahawks tickets yesterday:

  • The Seahawks this afternoon announce Michael Bennett will be traded to the Eagles for WR Marcus Johnson & a fifth-round pick.
  • Richard Sherman is texting goodbyes to teammates, and the Seahawks are looking to trade him.
  • Walking PED suspension & former Pete Carroll Trojan Brian Cushing is visiting the team as a free agent.

THANKS FOR THE MONEY, BEERGUY! HOPE YOU ENJOY 5-11!

God, someone fire me into the sun.

Thanks NASA.

You can get yours here.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Flames at Sabres – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
    • Penguins at Flyers – 8:00PM | NBCSN
    • Coyotes at Canucks – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • NBA:
    • Raptors at Pistons – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN4 (The Brier is on the main network)
    • Cavaliers at Nuggets – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN5
  • NCAA:
    • Tournament games:
      • ACC:
        • Virginia Tech vs. Notre Dame – 7:00PM | ESPN2
        • North Carolina vs. Syracuse – 9:00PM | ESPN2
      • Big 12:
        • Oklahoma State vs. Oklahoma – 7:00PM | ESPNU
        • Texas vs. Iowa State – 9:00PM | ESPNU
      • Big East:
        • Georgetown vs. St. John’s – 7:00PM | FS1
        • Marquette vs. DePaul – 9:30PM | FS1
  • Futbol:
    • 2018 CONCACAF Champions League:
      • Quarterfinal – Leg #1: Toronto FC vs. Tigres – 8:00PM | TSN2

With the imminent end of the Legion of Boom in sight, I thought I’d use Low Commander’s photoshop one last time. THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
222 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Unsurprised

Got wine. Got chili.

Unsurprised

Confession time: A podcast about the Noid subliminally conned me into ordering pizza for lunch and I managed to eat two medium pizzas this afternoon. I’ve felt like exploding ever since. I suck.

King Hippo

UW doing its best NC State impersonation. To teh NIT-mobile!

King Hippo

Thanks for showing up Syracuse. Then again…I guess I should be glad to preserve my Shitty Wolves ™ precious “last 4 bye” status.

theeWeeBabySeamus

We should be ashamed and do not deserve to go.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

niiiiiiiiiccccce cock!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She love the cock.

Unsurprised

She reminds me of @nachosarah

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

I hope she doesn’t choke it.
Or maybe I hope she does.
This is a confusing situation.

Unsurprised

That’s the worst way to kill it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Attention old fat people at airports: if you can’t handle the security line, don’t bother going through precheck.

Unsurprised

As someone who’s been fat my entire life, I fucking HATE fat people.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

blaxabbath

Come on beerguyross, no mention of ASU shitting the bed in their first conf tourney game (they SUCK in the conference tourney every year! I’d blame that on Bobby Hurley for burning his players out by mid-January because every play is “run around and out-HUSTLE the opponent” but Hurley’s only been there three years and I feel like they’ve been terrible in the conference tourney since Sendeck.)

Of note, 2014 is the last time asu danced, again, with a squad loaded with experienced upperclassmen getting their one shot. ASU tied for third with 5 teams in the conference at .500 (UA won the conf at 16-2).

As much as I’d like UA to play them tomorrow, I’m happy to take them having to live on the bubble for a few days.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

ArmedandHammered

Whelp, no reason to change the tradition of watching MNF with the sound off.

Unsurprised

Why would anyone ever watch football with the sound on?

Senor Weaselo

I look forward to someone accidentally hitting the button that triggers “KILL KILL KILL” mode.

Wakezilla

After 6 weeks of being in second place, I finally took back first place in my fantasy hockey pool. Of course, my team is shitting the bed tonight, so, it’ll be shortly lived.

comment image

ArmedandHammered

That is indeed fine quality.

rockingdog

what what!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

LemonJello

This Mary Poppins sequel is gonna be weird.

Wakezilla

Holy shit! I Just heard the rumour that the Vikings offered Cousins 3 years @91 million guaranteed?

He isn’t that much better than what the Vikings already had. Absolute lunacy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d be down wit dat.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No; they can’t offer anything until FA is open. March 12, 2018 is the beginning of the tampering period, which runs for 72 hours. After that, beginning on March 14, all unrestricted free agents can begin signing with any clubs.

Fronkenshteen

How hard is it going to be for the Steelers to keep Bell now that they’ve franchise tagged him twice? Does this damage the relationship between the player and the organization?

Wakezilla

On the one hand, yes, on the other hand, Bell is getting paid, what? 14 million? As long as the next contract has lots of guaranteed money, he’ll live.

litre_cola

Hell, he doesn’t even have to go to training camp.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He will get a shit tonne no matter what, but they should sign him long term anyway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttps://68.media.tumblr.com/86cfd9d0463b1e52c143861e383c2249/tumblr_mhd8tou3lf1r0bg2co1_1280.jpg

Unsurprised

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Good grief!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

godfuckingdamnit; I never noticed that before; I’ll never make detective now!

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No, Mr. Lyft driver, I am not interested in listening to how you can get from Burbank Airport to Culver City at 5pm in less than 50 minutes.

Unsurprised

Does his car turn into a helicopter?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Several years ago I was on a business trip in San Fran and the Russian taxi driver who was talking on the phone the whole time got some good air and left tire rubber at each corner…. we kissed the ground in thankfulness of actually making our destination. Fun time AND cool story bro.

ballsofsteelandfury

Actually, I can see it if you’re lucky with the passes. Coldwater?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Fronkenshteen

One of the Longhorns just got his front tooth cracked in half by an elbow. Nasty.

Senor Weaselo

Hey, no blood, no foul!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you talking about Latvian dentistry?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Too sparkly, MY EYES! At least, that’s what I hope the reason was.

Unsurprised

Nope. Her shoulders were too sexy for some wine mom.

Wakezilla

Nah, wine mom would look at her, and start to think thoughts that she hasn’t had since her clubbing days in her early-mid 20s. Then, she has a sip of her rose and closes her eyes to think how silky smoothe Liberte’s skin must be, before her eyes become bug eyes when her 4 year old little shit screams that they want their fruit loops.

Unsurprised

That reminds me, I need to get a corkscrew and can opener.

I’ll see you around.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

For the Los Angeles-based KTLA 5 news team, Saturday morning’s weather forecast:
Meteorologist Liberté Chan was in the middle of her forecast for the 8 a.m. hour when a hand appeared to the right of the screen holding a cardigan, beckoning for her to put it on. A baffled Chan can be heard asking, “What’s going on? You want me to put this on? Why, because it’s cold?” No, Chan wasn’t being asked to cover up because cold weather was in the forecast; according to the man handing her the cardigan, it was because “We’re getting a lot of emails.”

“I’m sorry if I was inappropriate,” she says, explaining that another more “demure” dress hadn’t worked out, forcing her to wear her backup option.

Wakezilla

Way to become Saudi Arabia, America.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Don T

He he he. Jerral decided to pay “after Jones attended a hearing in front of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and the league’s finance committee Monday in West Palm Beach, Florida”
https://giphy.com/gifs/season-6-the-simpsons-6×13-xT5LMxyMfwFcZpmW5y

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

I will admit, I am a little bit impressed he got Jerral to crawl. Doesn’t mitigate any of the hate, but still…respek.

King Hippo

exactly what Hippo thinkin’ of

Don T

Stupid AT&T.
Thanks man.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Don T

So yeah: Jerry Jones with his tail between his legs is very enjoyable. He’d be a hit in OldTrans.cz.

King Hippo

Bill Walton on PAC-12, talking Las Vegas’ commitment to environmental sustainability.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I fucking love this.

Unsurprised

Las Vegas was founded as an affront to God and Nature.

King Hippo

you just gots to get God high enough, chuh chuh

Gratliff

Jason Kelce staking his claim as official mascot of Philadelphia
comment image

Senor Weaselo

Hat game strong.

Senor Weaselo

Huzzah, didn’t fuck it up!

Gratliff

Getting some good clusterpuck hockey goals now

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

It was inevitable that if you see enough Russian dashcam videos, eventually one will be underwhelming.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No matter how many of anything you see somebody will always be a fucking critic.

Unsurprised

True. I’m an asshole.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

He is still not giving any fucks.

Unsurprised

That movie where he dresses up as Bigfoot was fucking garbage, though.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Like I said.

Unsurprised

Just making sure.

Wakezilla

Ice Panthers’ GM Ron Francis has missed the playoffs every year he has been in that position. Naturally, he has been promoted to become the Ice Panthers’ President of Hockey Operations.

comment image

litre_cola

However they say it is a promotion in title alone, and that he and the owner do not really get along and the owner wants to be like Mark Cuban and have his hands in everything. Good times.

King Hippo

damn it.I have to pick up my kid from work at 1 am. These 930 fixtures need to be less…shit on toastish

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

OOK OOK

Senor Weaselo

Let’s all watch how St. John’s blows a 12-point lead in under 4 minutes, because hell, why not?

King Hippo

who do you think you are, Virginia Polytechnic Institute?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Wakezilla

Kucherov, Hall, Malkin or Giroux. Or write-in. Who do you all have for the Hart?

I’m thinking it’s either Hall or Giroux, depending on who finishes higher in the standings. I think Kucherov will lose points because he’s on a team of superstars and Malkin is overshadowed by Crosby, which leaves Hall and Giroux.

Gratliff

Jesus, that was unstoppable

Wakezilla

Ice Liouns v Ice Cardinals tickets can be bought for $16 on the secondary market at the moment. That seems like a great deal until you add up the surcharges and hidden fees and it comes to just under $500.

comment image

Gratliff

Fire Andrew MacDonald into the sun

Unsurprised

We need more people fired into the sun.

Senor Weaselo

I’m a trebuchet man myself.

King Hippo

Boomer Sooner keeps trying to be spectacular, when they need to aim for adequacy.

Senor Weaselo

Perfectly cromulent basketballing.

Wakezilla

Just came across a meme that is similar to the video below. Elizabeth Lambert, I think I love you. Also, please sign with the Whitecaps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wd1bxM3uP5A

ballsofsteelandfury

She is great.

Unsurprised

She was a victim of the media. That BYU bitch had it coming because she’d been fucking with Lambert repeatedly earlier in the game, but the refs didn’t give a shit about that. A person can only take so much injustice before they snap.

Go Lobos.

Wakezilla

Finding this out makes her even more awesomer.

litre_cola

I concur, I saw the before this incident footage, they are both crazy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Gratliff

So Flyers appear to be attempting to murder random penguins

Unsurprised

Save the gay ones!

scotchnaut

If Cuse could possibly be not-Cuse tonight, Cuse might just get the win.

Gratliff

Flyers matching their worst line against Crosby because Hakstol is in a constant state of guessing at shit

Wakezilla

Willie Desjardins of the Ice Liouns used to do that and look at how well he turned out!

King Hippo

so much for that NC State and Notre Dame “momentum” coming into the ACCT…

Unsurprised

Is that like the momentum you get when the scissor-lift you’re on tips over in high winds.

Gratliff

Also fuck yeah eagles chant for no reason before the game

Gratliff

Oh yes. Time to find out who wants it less.

Brick Meathook

This is a great idea! Plus, there’s a hook for his lunchbox, even though he can’t see it or reach it, and couldn’t open it if he could. BTW that’s a Bell & Howell 2709 camera with the famed Unit-I shuttle, the most rock-steady film transport ever made.
comment image

King Hippo

I likes DePaul later tonight, wish I could say I liked L’Orange. Wazzu just beat Oh-ray-GAWNE like 10 days ago, no reason why they can’t again in the tweaker match (+625).

Tomorry, Clemson -4 v. tired, beat up, not deep BC side? Me like. Not out of bitterness.

WCS

Hippo: Put any akshun on the Trae Youngs-Pokes?

King Hippo

nah, was a tough read. Only like either side as significant dog. I did make small prop bet for Boomer Sooner to come back and tie/take the lead by half.

King Hippo

which…(fart sound)

King Hippo

at least I took VPI moneyline over Domers.

Senor Weaselo

All right, let’s see where we are now…
/…Aaaaand Georgetown takes a 10-point lead
Well then.

King Hippo

Georgetown leads can NEVAR stay (believe one who has bet a few).

JustStopDude

comment image

I have no idea why…but I really fucking want some Szechuan hot pot.

I actually had the real thing once. I was both murder and fantastic.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Fun fact: Baitin’ & Switchin’ was the name of a buddy comedy staring Kellen Winslow Jr. and Adrian Peterson.

WCS

That’s banner material.

ballsofsteelandfury

I tried, but it was not working for me. TWBS assist?

LemonJello

God damn,that’s good.

Senor Weaselo

Oh hey, St. John’s-Georgetown!
/First shots on both sides get missed
Ehh, after Jeopardy.

King Hippo

Hey, #MeadRobert…why not see if R-Dubs is ready to try going both ways?

Also, I have a sads that tonight was the last time I will be able to bet against Cal hoopsball, and as with City/Basel, mad at myself for not wagering MOAR (that’s on how little I think of the Trees and their bloated turtle motherfucker of a coach). What an absolute wet bag of pigeon shit they are, even by PAC standards.

This should be a one fookin’ bid league.