We know you didn’t get enough play-in goodness last night? How could you possibly? You want MOAR, and MOAR you shall receive. HBCUs and teh matchup zone, oh my!
#16(W) North Carolina Central (+5.5, +220) v. Texas Southern (6:40, truTV)
I wonder if Jim Nantz will call tonight’s game, and do his shallow “white guilt” routine again, about how often two historically black schools end up here (but they get a chance at a win! Awwww!) But let’s get woke – these squadrons ain’t the Hampton side that upset Iowa State in 2001 (God, that was awesome) or the uber-cool Norfolk State bunch (“we don’t drink, we don’t smoke…nor-FOLK….nor-FOLK”) who took out Mizzou in 2012. They got 15 seeds for good reason. Flash forward to present times, where Mike Davis’ crew started this season 0-13 and is the favourite tonight. Let that sink in. Central’s coach is cool, so I bet a little on him.
#11(MW) Syracuse (+2, +109) v. Arizona State (9:10, truTV)
Again, the PAC 12 entrant provides the eye candy. Are you surprised? Disappointed? Didn’t think so. Also, you have to fit them in whilst you can, they tend not to linger in the contest, competitively speaking. Neither of these sides have any business being here at all, but one suspects Syracuse’s vast experience at being undead/prematurely buried will carry the day against Sparky. Over/under on Boeheim nose picks (on-camera): 3.5.
Here’s a great song by a dead guy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YA2Hu-JEvNA
add Square One and American Girl
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXkblbJqwn0
Two things:
1) The ASU/CUSE halftime show was terrible. All those characters are bad. That lady’s analysis was only missing, “And boom goes the dynamite.”
2) These in-game announcers LOVE Kodi Justice. How interesting that the national announcers — with four guards to choose from, Tre Holder being the best one — choose the one white ASU player to praise.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjpHTf739dE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvkzoqQ5Oak
Goddamn, Kreider just had an ankle-breaker on Letang to help tie it for the Ice Giants.
Shit; misread Kreider.
Think I’ll get fixed for march madness next year. Baby will be 8 months by then. Seems like safe time to do the deed.
Do you mean filling out a lot of brackets?
OOOOOOOOOH, never mind.
I believe that would be the opposite of filling out a bracket.
Straight chalk.
Sweetness.
Closest thing I had to a superhero as a kid.
If UA wins tomorrow, I think I might cash in some Southwest miles and fly up for their round 3 game. Kentucky would be a great game, I’ve never been to the tourney (not that the first weekend even counts), and, frankly, Arizona is going to be bad for a while after this season.
How bad could a 24 hour trip to Boise be?
Smurf flights!
I want to see the “Bad Guys” win this.
DO IT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbegAGlaBaw
Looking for good NFL Chicago Bears GIFs for thhe “conversation” below and……
http://cdn.pbh2.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/glorious-boobs-gifs-windy.gif
At least this was was “Windy”…..
Fun game for the Commentariate…
How do YOU think the Browns will fuck up Joe Thomas’ retirement to the point that he will not have anything to do with the team?
I can’t help but imagine that somehow he will end up on the Ravens next season (continuing his career out of spite ala Willie Anderson and the Bengals fiasco) and Flacco will magically get a second Super Bowl ring.
Thomas said he has a bum knee. So Seahawks in ‘19.
Continuing to exist with current ownership. Can’t some billionaire buy the team and lay a foundation like the Jags got? It’s not like the billionaire has to live in Cleveland.
They are winning March right now. I think the worst thing; which is unlikely, but I would think it would hurt is if these moves paid of and they did a worst-to-first type turnaround and won a playoff game or two. “NOW?!?! Really?”
I got CLE as a postseason team in ’19.
Even if JT was sad; that’d be fookin’ hilarious. Beat the Pats in a ridiculous snow bound playoff game……. I am erect after typing that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aVa7qVKUHI
Crazy fucking Ice Ball in the Ice Argos’ barn tonight! WOOOO Ice Cowboys get at least one road point.
/sad Bourble
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KutXyPEEbQs
Spur is free for the next two days. Time to get shit-faced watching CBB that i know nothing about!
Is there a DFO bracket I can join?
As a matter of fact…
There is over 30 of us in there right now.
Are there directions on which button to click…… for this bracket?
Very funny Mooseman. I can hear you from all the way up here……
What’s a computer … I mean a bracket?
Saw the other Vikings QB news. I guess they really are the new West Virginia judging by their love of Cousins-Siemen
You drew that joke out like the last good squeeze of a toothpaste tube. Well done.
Gotta keep myself entertained since I’m sure as shit not watching pre actual round of 64 college basketball.
I was binge watching Rebecca Jones …. a silly comic book story, but it is pretty entertaining to me. I can only do the final games and only like when when people around me are losing money or bracket failings……. well, beer too.
Joe Thomas is retiring.
So us Browns fans really only have the Johnny Football redemption story arch to look forward to now…
How many straight years did that guy grade out as a top-five O-lineman? Damn.
Literally every one of them.
I was just looking; not that easy to find, and depending on who, but least penalties, least sacks allowed, etc. What a great player and teammate.
God so many season where he was literally the ONLY likable thing about the team.
I really hope the rest of his life is smooth sailing.
https://www.sbnation.com/2018/3/14/17120900/joe-thomas-browns-retire-stats
Josh Gordon redemption story is a-ok by me. In reality weed should be legal for killing pain but he was on a slippery slope so I am glad he turned it around. Plus I like fellow weed aficionados.
Here, hear; but you know who says no-no.
Sessions is Heisenberg?
Well….. I’m uncertain of what is in the bowl too.
I guess it could be a big batch of Cream of Sumyungboi?
That would make it Sessions.
How many people start to watch Trutv because they see these games on it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYaWgOpKR98
Was there an over/under tonight on Bobby Hurley crying? Jim Boeheim stroking out?
No? Booooo.
you got a nose-pick line. That’s all ye gets
How deep?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpsGcnLEZbk
of the matchup zone, or Sparky’s little trident thingy?
Fear the fork, but fuck Bobby Hurley.
he is a repugnant little shit, fo sho
/tonite, we are all Scotchnauts
That’s an insult to repugnant little shits.
Did I ever tell you that story?
memory hazy
My first clinic was in Durham. Grant Hill and his then GF came in late one night, no appointment. Sick kitten, GF was scared it was gonna die.
Grant was cool. Sincerely
Cherokee Parks showed up a coupla weeks later with a puppy. He’s not smart, btw. But nice enough.
About a month later, Hurley shows up with a puppy.
HOW THE FUCK DID I BECOME THE OFFICIAL VET FOAR DUKE UNIVERSITY???????
Hurley shows up without an appt. It just so happened to be a busy time and he had to wait longer than he wanted to wait.
“DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM????”
Little shitty fucker is yelling at my receptionist. So I leave the appt I was in and go deal with that little fucker.
Yeah, I know who you are. Do you know who I am? I’m the one who owns this joint. And no matter who you think you are, you’re not gonna walk in here and tell me how to run my clinic. You can go leave now.
The look on his shitty little face was priceless. Worth every penny of my student loans.
Did he have a pet needing care or was he just looking to score some ketamine?
Yes on the first.
Probably on the second.
Whoa; not as good as the bear encounter, but good……. real good.
Fuck them bears.
“Next time I’m in San Fran!”
-Anonymous, Green Bay WI
Remind me someday to tell you about my dealings with PETA and Ingrid Newkirk.
I’ve never wanted to punch a woman more than that day.
But I should shut up now.
My opinion of PETA is not going to be damaged. Maybe a story about an organization that actually helps animals would cheer me up.
I remember being stationed in Norfolk and those fuckers would take pets from people. Like idiots would donate their animals, think that PETA would re-home them. The fuckers even claimed they would.
Only they would just put the animals down. But even more shitty, they would dump the carcasses in random dumpsters. They got caught, twice in a week, dumping dead dogs in the same elementary school dumpster.
Fuck those assholes.
I’m still technically bound by a cease and desist order. But I’m not disagreeing with what you’ve said.
I think I’m still legally safe.
I’d almost think they spend too much of their money on ads, expensive functions, etc. to even touch animals……
/Buddy’s Door Flies Open
Let’s go UC-Davis!!
/Hail GAMBLOR
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuccUMcsLdQ
Tru TV is a comedy station?
Isn’t this the network that was started so idiots could follow the OJ trial 24/7?
Then they had “Hardcore Pawn” and “D-List Celebs Make Fun of People Hurting Themselves.”
I like that they take every opportunity they can to remind people this channel actually does exist once the Tournament is over.
Also, can anyone tell me why there is no movie poster available for “Hotpants College”?
/answer: because it is not a real movie; it is a fictional movie from the real movie Love and Death on Long Island. But there still should be a poster.
They give out Associate Degrees in Crotch.
I subjected you to Go West-here’s your palate cleanser
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kf56kvFznf0
That youngster can really work the whammy bar when he wants to.
North Carolina Central? Were they founded/named by a U*NC alum?
Did you know there’s actually a Western Carolina University?
Catamounts! Another nickname I like.
It is also known as UCLA. University of Cullowhee Left of Asheville.
And I thought Boone, NC was on the edge of Deliverance country.
Is their fight song “Dueling Banjos”?
You never had to drive all the hell way out there with any of your Crayola box of Jellos? It is WAY the fuck in the middle of nowhere. Beautiful country, though.
They have the cadaver farm out there for that reason, so a good place to study forensic science, etc.
Boone is gorgeous.
But yes, the drive back to civilization, on a Sunday while hungover….isn’t ideal.
I actually really liked the AppSt campus and would be a happy recluse living in the hills around Boone.
Agreed. It’s beautiful up there.
He WAS quite a striking man…. well, if he can live on in your memory, so much the better.
Where’s his gott-dammed coonskin cap?
Also “Boone held many government offices, including lieutenant colonel of Fayette County, legislative representative, and sheriff. In 1786 he moved to Maysville, Kentucky, and was elected to the legislature.” Politics will make get rid of things……
Nope. LimeJello visited UNC-Greensboro and ECU before choosing to be a Pirate. OrangeJello checked out AppSt and VCU and became a Mountaineer.
TangerineJello will be going to school somewhere in VA, but she’s got a couple years before we’re doing school visits.
Send her to Blacksburg.
No shit. Wish I had.
These are the potential careers my youngest has claimed an interest in:
Bakery/Pastry Chef
Vet/Vet Assistant
Nurse (in the military, no less. I told her she could only join the Air Force)
Forensic Scientist
If she wants to go Vet, Blacksburg is the place.
Your “holy shit what IF” lines of Round 1 so far are Team Oatmeal Farts +900 v. KS and Bucknell +867 v. Sparty. There are larger ATS lines (Nova -23.5 over Radford being the clubhouse leader), for which no ML option be provided.
I bet neither, even with the cheeky $40 bets I am making for this round.
Is there anything more stupid and useless than a breadbox? It’s basically a portable mold factory.
The phrase “Is it bigger than a breadbox?”.
Because no one owns one or knows what the size is.
Always thought it was another name for Lindsay Lohan’s vagina.
People still have those? Presumably in areas where twisty ties are deemed witchcraft?
ornamental toilet paper covers…
It never fails, when I am visiting a coworker and his old lady has one of these things, I lose all respect.
Also, it never fails, I somehow accidentally knock one of these things into the shitter at least once a year. Also never fails that when the TP is out, I somehow never think to look under the fucking crocheted monstrosity.
Memphis shitcanned Tubby Smith after 2 seasons. Seemed like he was doing pretty well to me. WTF?
Well if he was a white guy, I would assume that there is a massive incoming sex scandal involving children.
Since he is black…he didn’t win back to back national championships so…had to go.
this guy gets it!
and seriously, Pitt could (and probably will) do a lot worse
I would say the offense for North Carolina Central has gone south.
Go West has a devastating protest song about the lack of sanctions laid against U*NC-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4FtrKfZ0Lo
I like March Madness. I honestly do. I prefer it over college football. Hell, I think its the best tournament in sports. Even the people bitching about teams “getting snub” doesn’t really annoy me that much because frankly…its fucking 64 spots….control your own destiny bitches.
But the fucking thing I hate about it…and this happens with the Superbowl too, is that on the radio, tv, etc. you have people that NEVER follow the sport, doing the annoying banter about the tournament.
I don’t need to hear bracket advice from John “Appy” Apicello, weatherman of the Channel 10 ACTION News.
John…you can’t even predict the fucking weather right but I am suppose to put my child support payments in your trusting hands? Fuck you!
Buncha The Canadians on the Harvard basketball team. Who’da thunk? Not Americans, apparently.
Oh that is interesting I wonder what the eligibility rules are for foreign students.
“If you’re brown, go to Brown. Duh.”
-Harvard Admissions
I’m hoping Hippo only bet on the coach and not the game.
Hee hee, no bet much. In fact, going forward, I am betting $55 or less per fixture. Trying to dodge God’s stink eye.
Anyone have any food they can send over?
On the toilet thanks to (presumably) some bad lunch chicken, you can have all my food forevs, thanks.
If they ever name a football championship game after you it should be called The Sensitive Bow(e)l.”
Yes, inside I am mos def forever unclean
I also have one eye on the Marquette/Hahvahd NIT fixture. It is equally turrible. Just….whiter. With the token Asian in place of Central’s lone honky.
I forgot about the Amaker/Wojo angle. All NIT matchups are based on kitsch factor.
speaking of, I think it would be kind of fun to be a white guy on scholarship at a HBCU. They DO give minority scholarships to white people, amaze your Fox News watching kinfolk with that little nugget. I mean, except for the 5 or 6 times over your tenure that somebody, whilst drunk, decides to let you know just how much they think you don’t belong there.
But I bet most everybody is super cool about it, and is interested that you are open to such a different cultural/life experience.
‘70’s sitcom?
and even if just 5-10% of the ladies are into it…well, DAMN, that’s a lot to choose from!
I think there was a token white character on A Different World. Besides Sinbad.
“Syracuse is gonna dunk on the heads of that ASU team so much they’re gonna make me look like a goddamn amateur!”
-Andrea Yates
“Brother, can you paradigm?”
-Thomas Kuhn, begging for change
/okay-this is the nerdiest thing I’ve ever done.
I applaud this commitment to nerdiness
I never want to see anyone hold a pro day without camo gear.
And you never will.
The problem with a QB wearing camo is that the defense knows that he’ll be throwing out of the shotgun.
Now that’s someone who would never dare disrespect the troops
That is creepy…where the fuck are his thighs?
If it’s purple camo, does that make it a Baltimore Tuxedo?
“That’s a terrible idea; you never want to have people stare at your crotch and not be able to see anything.” – Brett Favre
“Are they comfortable and easy to pull on/off? I need a pair of those for sitting in parking lots.”
-K. Winslow, Jr.
The fact that TruTV doesn’t just show an Eliza Dushku slideshow for 11.5 months of the year is proof that the terrorists have won.
Wait, Jason Priestley was on Tru Calling? WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY TELL ME THIS?
This first game is averaging 1.5 directions per team! Overload! The system wasn’t built for these kinds of loads!
“The system wasn’t built for these kinds of loads!”
– Real Doll Tech Support Line Operator
I don’t get the Cuse game on the tube? But, but, but, I’m white and paid for a premium sports channel! Is there no justice?
[dials Justin Trudeau’s cell phone]
you strategically napped for nothing??
I’ve yet to get the hang of this thing that you advocate for.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjAV2ypvK6I&ab_channel=UrinatingTree
Fun fact: Deanna Favre often refers to her husband as an Anatomy of Misery as well.
Stallball!
That wee guard tandem on ASU are gonna get defensed by their much taller Cuse peers in 6’4″ Howard and 6’6″ Battle. L’Orange’s inside game ain’t that good but they be way better than those damn devils. Cuse is a weak team but they’re up against a much weaker squad.
Jeopardy just had a question where the answer is Stephen Hawking. Too soon? (Yes it’s tape-delayed and all but still.)
“For $600-This space cowboy somehow managed to cheat on his wife despite being wheelchair-bound and having a smile that could break every mirror in a 40 block radius?”
I’m sorry, but the Stephen Hawking worship is a little too much for me. I’ll lay down Hippo money that his theories are proven wrong at some point.
“Umm, that’s exactly how these things tend to work.”
-Thomas Kuhn
/this is, by far, the nerdiest joke I’ve ever committed to screen
Actually that’s… as they say, fookin’ brilliant.
Giving one of the greatest minds of a generation due credit is not worship; it is a point of fact acknowledged by theorists both opposed and in agreement. Some of his work was already being proven and he has opened pathways of advanced research to learn about which he is theorizing (that’s part of how science works).
https://www.theverge.com/2016/8/17/12514796/black-hole-radiation-stephen-hawking-proof
That said; he was a documented asshole to those around him.
That’s my point.
Plus, he was a part of Big Bang Theory multiple times and loved the show.
Case closed.
/Resists going full Sill.
“that his theories are proven wrong at some point.” Why the fuck didn’t you state your point? Diminishing his accomplishments because of his personal tastes, or like many accomplished people are assholes to those around them is beside the point.
I don’t feel like arguing physics and theories. Let’s just leave it.
I don’t think either us is near intelligent enough for it, so yeah.
I would image being 1) trapped in your body and 2) struggling to connect with people on the same level had to have been maddening at time.
I remember watching some documentary or something on him about how he has to have a team of four PhD people to do his research and it would take years for him to get comfortable with them. Basically to save time, they would have to try and predict what he was saying because he could only use his fucking eyeball to form sentences by picking one letter at a time.
So like one of them could make an error on the chalkboard and it would take like 20 minutes for him to be able to point it out to them to correct it.
I couldn’t image ordering a fucking meal like that…let alone writing books and conducting research.
True dat. He did pick some great people, which was part of it.
I don’t know nothing about ‘cuse (what happened CBCUE?) but, yeah, ASU has no business in this tournament. Don’t get me wrong, their frantic defensive rebounding attempts and jack-up-a-long-three-early-in-the-shot-clock offense make an excellent foundation for their 100%-emotion-fueled game plan….but they ain’t going anywhere. This team epitomizes living/dying by the three and there’s no way this scene (be it First Four or second round) isn’t too big for a team led by seniors who have never been out of the second round of the conference tourney before.
I mean, a team like that will DIE against the Cuse D. They still so the defensing half of the Boeheim formula right, unless you can beat them with slashing and very accurate motion passing (NC State did that well).
8-10 in the candy-ass PAC 12. Res ipsa loquitur, Sparky
Good point — UW runs the ‘Cuse zone (Mike Hopkins) and they gave ASU fits for the first half when they played this year.
Yeah — ASU’s passing is not great. They don’t drive to score but, rather, to flop a foul (not something you’ll get in the tourney as much as you do in the pillow-soft P12). Their best passing is just when they’re penetrating and kicking passes all over but I’m gonna guess ORANGE will just turn that into turnovers.
In conclusion, ASU might as well just plan on shooting threes all night.
Oh, so the UCLA game plan?
Did not watch UCLA play yesterday. Hopefully Baller Brand had some criticism for them though.
It was painful to watch. My dad could only stomach the first half and then put on a soccer game. At some point in the first half, I watched 5 minutes and asked him if UCLA has been this shitty all year. The answer was, “Yeah, I don’t know why I thought they would play better in the tourney”
huh, I went to bed mad because of GAMBLOR (ie, thought Bonnies had no chance to come back)
ASU Eye Candy would be a fabulous FF team name
Speaking of Arizona State, a kid in the BCHL declared he was going to ASU in the fall. Way to think with your pecker, kid.
Can’t blame him. I would have gone there if I didn’t get into UCLA and the other two schools I applied to.