World Gawne Mad – Thursday First Round Afternoon Session

Inject it straight into mah veins!

#10(MW) Oklahoma (+2, +110) v. #7(MW) Rhode Island (12:15, CBS)

One team doesn’t belong, one team was looking maybe at a 3 seed before they went all fucktarded down the stretch.  The athleticism disparity on display will shock you, and it ain’t the major conference side who comes out on top…

#14(S) Wright State (+11, +550) v. #3(S) Tennessee (12:40, truTV)

Upset alert!  This will hardly be a game of horseshoes for the Vols, as a mini-late regular season swoon (similar to URI) has the Raiders under-seeded.  This is really like your typical 5/12 setup.

#13(W) UNC-Greensboro (+13, +650) v. #4(W) Gonzaga (1:30, TNT)

Spartan coach Wes Miller has no neck, and I will always remember him as the annoying push shot 3-point chucker from U*NC.  So…fuck ’em, even at tasty ML odds against a choker like the Zags.  Or maybe not, they DID whip NC State in December.  The school is also known as “UNC-Gay” for being the most LGBT-friendly campus in the system.  So, maybe I will plunk $25 on that ML after all.

#16(MW) Penn (+13.5, +750) v. #1(MW) Kansas (2:00, TBS) 

Is that Bill Self’s tighty whities shrinking, or is he just happy to see us?  Vegas must be getting some Team Oatmeal Farts love, as that ML is all the way down from +900.  Too bad I don’t see it.  Ah really want to believe…

#15(MW) Iona (+20.5, N/A) v. #2(MW) Duke (2:45, CBS)

Jim Valvano, “I own a college!”  No, I will never get tired of that joke.  Too bad I see no path to victory for the Gaels.  Maybe they can at least break Ted Cruz, Jr.’s leg?

#11(S) Loyola (Chi****) (+2, +111) v. #6(S) Miami (3:10, truTV)

Hey look, it’s the upset that you will get no fookin’ credit for.  Now I almost want to swim upstream and pick Da U.  But the Ramblers deserve this line, they pretty good, and could easily make the Sweet Sixteen.

#12(W) South Dakota State (+8, +320) v. #5(W) Ohio State (4:00, TNT)

This line is bouncing around like…a jackrabbit?  And yes, I will post the damned song again.  FUCK YOU, it’s great.  tOSU reverted to who we thought they were down the stretch.  SDSU played good ball all year, and the few times I watched them, they looked legit.

#9(MW) NC State (+3, +137) v. #8(MW) Seton Hall (4:30, TBS)

Perhaps the most compelling of the opening fixtures, two fairly fun to watch (albeit flawed) squadrons, and each could at least pester Kansas in Round 2.  Give ’em a look-see.  ACC/Big East matchups should happen with more frequency.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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scotchnaut

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

litre_cola

Well that was a foul for sure.

WCS

HHHHHNNNNNGGGGGG

Croooow

Damn.

Croooow

Wow, excellent defense.

WCS

WOWZERS

scotchnaut

LOYOLA BALL!!!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Seton Fall?

Hehehehe…get it?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep, just called him “big dumb asshole”.
Jeebus.

scotchnaut

Loyola/Da U coming down to the nut crunching…

Wakezilla

Phew. Da U should be fine. They have experience

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scotchnaut

Tied at 60. 1 little minute left.

theeWeeBabySeamus

They’re shooting 64% and we’re within 6.
It’ll be fine.

Probably.

Croooow

You had one job, Iona.

scotchnaut

As fodder, I thought they did quite well.

Wakezilla

See, this is why you need to pay these kids. Had Iona received some cash, I’m sure there would have been a lot more hard fouls once the game was over

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah he can.

I wonder if his voice is as sweet as Seal’s? He gots the face for it.

scotchnaut

Does no one else call him Yogurtseven? No one?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve been know to call him “big dumb asshole”, but that’s not the same.

Fronkenshteen

THESE H&R BLOCK COMMERCIALS, I CALL THEM THE BEST DELI IN TOWN BECAUSE THE PRICE OF HAMM HAS NEVER BEEN LOWER.

Wakezilla

Ohio State on the verge of becoming victim of Montezuma’s revenge

WCS

Ramblers and Da U trading threes.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck yeah!!!!!!

scotchnaut

[remembers how as a basketball-obsessed kid how often I had to watch the boring as hell Big 10]

GO JACKRABBITS GO!

theeWeeBabySeamus

76%.

76%???????????????????

Fronkenshteen

The Loyola passing game is tremendous.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow Freeman II. That was a lovely pass to the wrong fucking team.

scotchnaut

Groanzaga squeaked it out? How west coast college ball of them.

Wakezilla

(Not so) Fun Fact: I have them in my final four

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS

This is what I get for trusting you.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Always a bad idea. Just ask anyone who’s ever met me.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That is quality.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

We don’t need no diocese pull

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“We don’t need no education…” – U*NC basketball players

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I bet Steven Mnuchin’s favorite sex move to pull on Louise Linton is the “peasant surprise”.

SonOfSpam

I thought it was just pulling out a wad of cash.

What if he’s actually hung like a horse and a gymnast in the sack?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The idea of building a pool in your back yard so your daughter can invite her teenaged friends over instead of you having to drive them places really appeals to Mark Chmura.

The Maestro

Mark Sanchez would also like an invite to this pool party.

Wakezilla

R Kelly wouldn’t put chlorine the pool so they can drink the water.

SonOfSpam

Yes, as a father who keeps track of his money to some extent, this commercial puzzles me.

Spur

Jacking and Ohio, things that don’t mix
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BGVTkNsGlA

Wakezilla

Looks like Tennessee showed that Wright should change their name to Wrong State.

Spur

Let’s go Jackrabbits!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I was 8 when Gonzaga made that amazing run to the Elite 8 in ’99 under Dan Monson. He and Mark Few have had pretty different careers since then

Wakezilla

I remember that run. Since then, I always wondered why they would choke whenever they reached the sweet 16. So weird

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think when the feds finally catch up to me I’ll be known in the press as the “Buick Owner Murderer”.

litre_cola

If you do it at Christmas you can get a big bow!

Senor Weaselo

I thought that was Lexus.

Spur

i want a cool name like “Night Terror” or “Midnight Hunter” but I’ll be called the “Flaccid Foot Tickler” or something

rockingdog

party!

Spur
rockingdog

oh my.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Here’s what gets me when cops complain about the stresses of the job: it’s part of your job description that you may have to take an action that puts your life in danger. The reason you are given a pension and able to retire after 20 years is because it is assumed the requisite stress during those years will burn you out at around that time. In theory, it is a very serious profession that shouldn’t be ridden with your family’s fuck-up relative who needs to get back on his feet and make some money.

I still remember what pushed me into the middle of cynicism and praise for police at large was when the North Miami PD put out a Tweet saying they weren’t aiming for Charles Kinsey but rather the non-verbal autistic adult who was playing with his truck, as if that were somehow better.

I generally consider myself on the right with regard to politics, but I divert sharply on the topic of police accountability.

Wakezilla

See, this is why all students should be armed. Adults pussy out because they know of consequences. But for a lot of kids, they’d think it was Call of Duty or Fortnight and they’d put an end to that shit without thinking what would happen to them.

Kind of like that young rookie who doesn’t know he’s supposed to be nervous in the playoffs, so he lights up the other team.

rockingdog
Spur

i asked for that link last night and was mocked. Seems am not one of the cool kids.

Senor Weaselo

In fairness to me I was just lazy!

litre_cola

I thought someone gave it to you, I was mocked by Moose as I struggled to get in as I am a moron.

Wakezilla

I joined all by my lonesome, but, I will say that ESPN has some oddly worded instructions that doesn’t exactly tell you what to do.

Is join a bracket trademarked?

Spur

Jesuits schools always have a strong Athletics Department. At any moment you can turn those athletes into soldiers to stomp some Protestant ass.

Spur

Kansas is pulling away.

rockingdog

Yea basketball!
I was at a bar here in RI and People r going crazy cause URI is moving on!!!!!!
Whoooo!!!!

also found a funny:

[in heaven]
Stephen Hawking: Ah fuck! Why are there so many parrots? Why are all the parrots biting me? Argh!
God: Shit shit shit. Sorry. I sent you to parrot heaven by mistake. Fuck. Sorry.

Senor Weaselo

The Dead Hawking Sketch?

Senor Weaselo

Looks like the Conscientiously Objecting to Stormin’ Quakers might not cover the spread, and that’s a shame.

The Maestro

Oh, hey, biscuitball is doing the thing!

Beerguyrob

GAH – my feed died!

Spur

i like how all of us ignore the Duke game.

litre_cola

Who?

Beerguyrob

Not me – I bet one of them a dollar.

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WCS

C’mon, Penn. Do it for Holland Oates.

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Croooow

I know I’m officially into the tournament when I’m bummed out that a team I almost never think about (UNC Greensboro) loses a tough game.