TGISF… Eye Of The Beholder

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it’s a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles.When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
theeWeeBabySeamus

I had an appointment with the eye doctor yesterday.  I was very nervous about it.  Not that I’m afraid of going to the eye doctor per se.  But more that I was afraid of what she was going to tell me.  So afraid was I, that I’d put off this appointment for over two years.  Seriously.

A little over two years ago, when my then still current eye prescription was about to run out of date, I bought a boatload of contact lenses before it did.  Just so I could put off going back for as long as possible.

Why?  Well, the short answer is because my eyes suck.  The long answer is more complicated.

Corrective Lenses

I first had to get glasses when I was less than two years old.  No shit.  The problems with my eyes were/are many and varied.  And all of them are about as severe as humanly possible, short of blindness.

As a youngster, I had two surgeries on my eyes to try to correct one of the problems.  The first surgery didn’t work.  The second one made the problem worse.  Thanks Johns Hopkins.

I absolutely hated wearing glasses as a kid.  Wearing glasses when one is trying to play sports, or even just play for that matter, is a huge pain in the ass.

Ever try to hit (or field or pitch/throw) a baseball with your glasses steaming up from the sweat?  Or shoot a basketball?  Or hit a golf ball?  And that’s not even taking into account the fact that the quality of vision with glasses, at least with my prescription even as a kid, just sucks ass for hand/eye coordination matters.

Plus, they just totally get in the damned way.  I broke more pairs of glasses playing sports (and also again, just playing) when I was a kid that it’s not even funny.

Then there’s the social issue.

Kids are mean.  And trust me, when they’re trying to be mean and get under your skin, they take the easiest material.  One of the reasons (though certainly not the only one) that I’m such an asshole as an adult is that I got good and damned tired of bullies thinking they could use the fact that I wore glasses to try to find a way to intimidate me.  Pretty soon, it got to the point that if any of them even breathed that bullshit to me, they found out real fast that my attitude was that the best defense is a good offense.  I learned to fight, and kicked the crap out of more than one bully who had some smartassed shit to say to me about my glasses.

I ended up in the principal’s office on numerous occasions.  But I was never suspended.  Teachers and staff loved me.  I was good at schmoozing them.  Lucky for me.

(It’s not lying if you believe it)

But I digress…

In my late teens, when I was finally able to wear contact lenses, it was like I was born again.  It was the best freaking thing ever.

Even now, as an adult, I hate wearing my glasses.  I wear them only when I have to.  Which is generally only at night when I take my contact lenses out.  Very few people in my adult life have ever even seen me in my glasses.  It’s not so much a vanity issue for me, though I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t at least part of it.  But it’s more the fact that I don’t like the quality of vision they provide, and I don’t like the way they feel.

I’ve gotten so used to the contact lenses over the years that the glasses now feel foreign to me.

The last time I tried to drive with my glasses on instead of the contact lenses, I was driving long distance a couple of years ago.  It was in the middle of the night and not surprisingly, my contacts were dry and kept clouding up.  I pulled into a rest area and took them out and put my glasses on.  It was probably the first time I’d driven with my glasses on since I was a teenager.

The vision quality (because of the magnification, which is due to my shitty eyes and the prescription I have to have) was so terrible and so disorienting that I literally had to pull into the next rest area and put the contacts back in.

Artist’s Conception

 

In summation, I hate wearing my glasses.

Sooooooooo….

The reason I was scared (I’m not scared….YOU’RE SCARED!!!!) to go to the eye doctor, and the reason I had put it off for way too long, was that the last time I went to my eye doctor she said the meanest and most heinous shit to me imaginable…

You know, you’re getting older and your vision will just get worse.  Your prescription is pushing the limits of contact lens technology/availability as it is.  Eventually, maybe relatively soon, possibly even the next time you come back, you won’t be able to even use contacts anymore and you’ll have to go back to glasses exclusively.

Well….Fuck you bitch.  Maybe I just won’t come back then.

And I didn’t.  Until yesterday.

My New Eye Doctor

Now, even if my old eye doctor was a horrible hurtful piece of shit, I do realize she was only doing her job.  She can’t help that she’s a horrible hurtful piece of shit.  I get that.  But so pissed was I still at my old eye doctor that I totally would have gotten copies of my records and gone elsewhere this time.  But I was saved the trouble because the insensitive quack apparently got fired since the last time I was there.

My new eye doctor is a cute little Indian gal.  She even told me I smelled nice.  Which is at least better than telling me I don’t smell nice.

But the best part?

My prescription has not changed one iota since my last visit.  Nearly four years later, and my eyes are no worse than they were.  And no glaucoma and no retinal problems either.  Aside from the fact that I can’t see for shit without corrective lenses, I have the eyes of a 30 year old.  Yes, she actually said that.

And as long as that’s the case, I still get to keep wearing contacts.

So yes, I really like my new eye doctor.  Even over and above the fact that she’s cute, thinks I smell nice and complimented my sexy retinas (ok, admittedly she didn’t say  “sexy” ….but I know that’s what she meant….it was implied).

I’ll probably even go back on time this time.  But just in case, Imma still buy a boatload of lenses and stockpile those bad boys.

Fuck you, glasses.

And fuck you too, old eye doctor.  I hope you rot in hell.

Sexy Girls In Glasses

Yes, I’m a hypocrite.  I can admit it.

I hate my own glasses, yet there is something about a pretty girl in glasses.  Is it that it draws you to look at her eyes?  Is it that it implies intelligence, or at least can?

Hell, I don’t know.  And I don’t plan on trying to figure it out tonight.  Or probably ever.  I just know what I like.

 

 

(and I may or may not personally know one of the young ladies below….so be nice)

Enjoy….

 

Ooooof.  Kinda makes you glad you’re not totally blind, huh?

Have a great weekend everyone.

Love ya’s

(even if I can’t always see  ya’s)

😛

Do you have a “request” or an idea for a future TGISF theme?  Drop me a line…

twbs@doorfliesopen.com

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Spur
Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Yeah, I’m also nearsighted as all hell. Just lucky I didn’t get the astygmatism and (hopefully) the random ass macular degeneration my mom has. I’m just super blurry. Got an eye appt in a month, gonna get me a load of gas permeable contacts and a new pair of back up glasses, cause my old ones are from like, 5 prescriptions ago and I don’t think I could drive in them.
One of the reasons glasses are shitty, lack of peripheral vision. Sideways isn’t within the range of the lens, so you don’t see shit off to the side. Contacts also give you about 20/15 when fitted properly, just because of how close to your actual lens they are. Contacts are the best thing ever.

Spur
Spur

Laser surgery should be subsidized.

Doktor Zymm

It’s covered under my current insurance, but my eyes keep getting worse, so don’t want to have surgery just to end up needing more glasses

Senor Weaselo

Are other lasers also covered?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I have astygmatism so I can’t get LASIK. I can barely have contacts because of previous eye damage. There’s a 50/50 chance I’ll be blind and deaf by the time I’m 50.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

40K to work at Chili’s! What is she, the manager?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur
Spur

Can our PC techs tell me which they prefer Ryzen 5 or 7? building my 1st AMD. I honestly can’t decide which to buy.

Gratliff

If you’re just building it for gaming, Ryzen 5 is more than enough.

Spur
Spur

I’ve been rocking an i7 for 8 years. you think a Ryzen 5 will keep that type of life? Would a 7 or did i get lucky in a stagnation point with building a PC?

Gratliff

I mean, 5 years out, you’d probably notice a difference. I ran an AMD Phenom II x4 for 7 years and I could about hear it crying for mercy when I finally replaced it with an i5-6600 in 2015.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

oh, I think I know where THIS story goes!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Mandalay Bay!

Spur
Spur

when are they going to get to the Fireworks factory?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur
Spur

Evening Folks

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

If I knew who Amber Hahn was, I would have suggested you include her in this gallery.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

http://www.baltimoresun.com/sports/college/lacrosse/bs-sp-umbc-albany-lacrosse-20180406-story.html

Oh what is that? UMBC just upset yet another number one team in the nation?

This is my surprise face…

Gratliff

One of the great things about being in the upper midwest is that I no longer have to deal with lacrosse bros.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Our team was originally an intramural cricket team…but no one else played so they bought them lacrosse gear this season.

3-7 this year. We are hot garbage…unless its a #1 team in the nation…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

CC has a bad hip. That means he’ll have to be put down, yeah?

Senor Weaselo

It’s okay, because Drury also got taken out and Wade walked back to first gingerly!
/Cue drinking?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

I don’t think the world is ready for an Actually Good 76ers team. Makes me wish I had a stake in my home basketball team, but alas, I grew up in the age of Jordan and Shaq and followed the players instead of the teams. This fact will not stop me from becoming a monster not unlike a Masshole who mispronounces “water” if the Sixers run through the playoffs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How good are the Flyers and Phillies this year? It would be very interesting if Philadelphia ran the table on titles this year.

Gratliff

Funny you should ask

NHL announces that if the Flyers and Panthers are completely tied in the standings after 82 games (same # of points, ROW, and goal differential), the two teams will play in a one-game tiebreaker on Tuesday, at one of the teams’ home arenas (to be determined by random draw).

— Broad Street Hockey (@BroadStHockey) April 6, 2018

Senor Weaselo

Has that ever happened before?

Gratliff

I’m pretty sure they literally made it up today

King Hippo

Phillies seem to still be the Phillies.

King Hippo

Why would you lie about how much coke you have?

Also, Hippo gives a fuck. USE IT!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Careful! Don’t break the sink piggy.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

“So Mancini walks.”

Oh, here we fucking go…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Gotta admit; it is a damn sexy walk.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

More of a sashay really.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I don’t even know…. and I’d be right up in dem three bitches.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

GOD DAMN

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Rice cooker pancakes?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

words cannot ‘splain how sexy I find this picture

King Hippo

Really cool song and…uh…interesting video

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Hey Seamus – a certain Degenerate bet actual moneys on the Os tonight. Limited to first 5 innings, because I ain’t trust non-drankin’ CC.

Tell Gausman Hippo say WOO!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

MUST INVESTIGATE CLOSER

Senor Weaselo

CC dead again, this time in not-knee form!

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

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LemonJello
LemonJello

That’s a strange haka…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Artist’s conception of why I quit lifting at Gold’s.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Blew your bronzing oil budget?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, sure, that’s it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I went to get my learners permit with my mom. I learned at the DMV that I was legally blind in my right eye.

“Hey mom…maybe this is why I struggle in school”

“No. Your eye is just lazy. Like you”

I’m the opposite. I cannot fucking fathom using contacts. Anything near my eyes, I freak the fuck out. Working on industrial sites, I feel weird without having glasses on my face. It also didn’t help that once on the carrier, I had an idiot junior mechanic who wore contacts (not supposed to) and shit for brains to a blast of chemicals to the face and they melted to his eyes.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It turns out Cowboy Bebop is 20 years old this week and I want to die now.

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herodotus450
herodotus450

See you

Gratliff

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I shouldn’t follow this trashy, depressed redhead, but … tits.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Trashy? Looks like she cleaned her room, unlike most selfies.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This is an old selfie.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

She’s cool. Just weird.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
LemonJello

I don’t think that’s Red Cross approved CPR.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

She has great legs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Really? You of all people……

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

HAHAHAHAHA

Stealth edit!

I’m an asshole. I like her. I was being stupid when I posted that first reply.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She does have a different body….. but I like it.

A friend of mine’s GF had a 39″ inseam and was tall, but shorter than me at 6’2″. She’d wear shorts and holy shit……

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Preview of next year…

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Gratliff

There will be many wrasslin’-related comments from me this weekend, so let me offer up a pre-emptive apology in the form of Cassidy Banks pics:

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