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Your “Mastersmania Sunday!” Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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Sometimes, you just gotta go with the classics.

By the time this thread goes live, the Masters should be wrapping up, unless there’s a playoff, and Wrestlemania should be three hours into its seven-hour run time. I have friends attending each, in differing states of inebriation.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Panthers at Bruins – 7:30PM | Sportsnet / NHLN
  • NBA:
    • Warriors at Suns – 9:00PM | Sportsnet1  / NBA TV
  •  MLB:
    • Mets at Nationals – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
  • MLS:
    • Los Angeles Galaxy vs. Sporting KC – 9:00PM | FS1
  • Curling:
    • World Men’s Championship: gold-medal game – 8:00PM | NBCSN / TSN

You’ll have guest hosts the next couple of nights, as we’re getting a Ministry audit at school, and prep for that & inspection will eat up a lot of my time the next couple of days. THEY BETTER NOT LOOK IN MY DRAWER!

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Senor Weaselo

Is Jessica Mendoza harping on Bryce, um, Harper, sorry, for slowing down the last steps to 1st before he hit the bag because he didn’t realize the pitcher had dropped the ball and thought he was already out? Hasn’t he probably crashed through two walls this game?
/Just turned it on

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hair slowed him down.
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Mr. Ayo

Stupid sexy Harper

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King Hippo

clown curl, bro

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Mr. Ayo

THINK OF THE KIDS!!!!

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King Hippo

he probably also didn’t want to trip, go ass over elbows, and maybe knock $50 off his $500M offseason deal. I wouldn’t either.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Fuck.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

My thoughts, exactly.

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Unsurprised

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Mr. Ayo

“Top Gear designs a motorway intersection”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

Ugh….I cannot fathom going to a Royal Rumble in SA. How could you sit through a show without drinking?

How are the women suppose to perform…in full coverings?

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Unsurprised

Being MBS means never having to obey your own laws.

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Brocky

don’t think they are. as far as I know, no women’s matches on the show.

they had a match another middle east country, the ladies showed up like this:

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Bring ur notebooks everyone, the #BFIB will be on tomorry to show everyone how to do baseball the RIGHT way!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Losing 3-2?

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King Hippo

with dignity and aplomb

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Shoving an umpire and trying to fight with the other manager because he quite rightly called you out on your bullshit pitch framing?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Damn, the restaurant at the Denver airport that comes with the priority pass scam closed at 9.

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JustStopDude

I fucking hate flying in the US. Its utterly insane to me that you can be in a major hub, traveling through the night, and there is fuck all available for food.

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Unsurprised

The last time I flew out to the east coast I had a layover at O’Hare that ended up being delayed overnight. Suffice to say, how the fuck does even the McDonald’s close?

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JustStopDude

I was flying to India and had to go out of O’Hare. I was starving, but I figured that there would be food in the international hub. Keep in mind, this was around fucking noon. I had about 3 hours to burn, but I wanted to get through security.

There was nothing fucking available besides a sandwich car and the tariff shops selling cologne, chocolate, and booze. I was so fucking pissed…

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Unsurprised

So, O’Hare is the ultimate permanent grift by the Daleys, right? I’m so glad that I usually had to fly through DFW, which I can’t believe I just typed out.

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Brick Meathook

That’s the haunted airport. And you’re there on Sunday night when everything is closed and the place is empty and that’s when the weird shit starts really happening. That’s sounds cool.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

its easy to focus on how attractive alexa is (she is both hot and classically beautiful)

but her in ring presence and expressions are great.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I didn’t have an opinion before, but now I fucking hate Ronda Rousey.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

There’s better reasons to hate her.

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Unsurprised

A girl from Albuquerque beat her, so I’m otherwise indifferent. However, I’m open to learning more.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh, “Hate” is a strong word and I regret my use of it.

But when one believes their own press clippings and doesn’t train properly…eventually they’re gonna get the Buster Douglas treatment.

Now, she’s gone to the easy payday.

Nothing more.

At least Mike Tyson now makes a funny cartoon.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Of all the fucking terrible things people do this doesn’t even make the list. Don’t waste your hate.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup.

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JustStopDude

I think the talent pool exploded on her.

A rapid decline in MMA is typical. I think it was smart of her to get out of the fight scene and go to wrestling.

But dear god…her talking skills are hot garbage.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

She’s not particularly smart.

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King Hippo

someone who kicks and gets kicked in the head FOAR a living ain’t that bright??

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Unsurprised

No one is.

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Horatio Cornblower

She was smoke and mirrors the whole time. Potentially devastating offense but once anyone stood up to her and made her spend any kind of energy she was done. Her defense was atrocious.

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Unsurprised

I wish I could remember any details of the podcast(?) I listened to that just demolished her coach for basically being incompetent.

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Unsurprised

To be fair, Holm got smoked in most of her subsequent fights; including losing to Miesha Tate in her first fight after defeating Ronda.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

She seems cool.

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JustStopDude

More talent and drawing power than Greg Gagne…

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I kid…David Flair never had Greg Gange’s talent…

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Brocky

it may seem mean, but if reid really showed some of his dad’s talent when he was started out, who know’s what could have been:

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JustStopDude

I don’t think Reid would have gotten anywhere.

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JustStopDude

AJ Styles was way more fun in TNA.

Some of his X Division matches were INSANE…

It still blows my mind that TNA had such an amazing roster, tv deal, and a decent following…so they brought in Hulk Hogan and friends to redo the collapse of WCW.

I think my favorite “WTF” moment from TNA was when their Knockouts Champ at the time, Taylor Wilde, had to quit the minimum wage job at a Sun Glass Hut because fans were showing up. She was working a minimum wage job to make ends meet because TNA refused to pay their top drawing women’s athlete at the time more than $400 per appearance.

Keep in mind…this was the same amount they were paying Awesome Kong.

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Brocky

how weird is it that my first thought was how the fuck do they only pay kong that much. damn

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JustStopDude

Its fucking insane. The whole popularity of the women’s division is because TNA developed the modern, Japanese style for the US audience….and they proceeded to just piss it away by never paying their talent (there are notorious stories of performers getting hurt and then TNA only offering to pay for medical care of the athlete reimburses the company through future pay).

I lost track of the number of talented men and women they lost because TNA demanded that they do filming on days off without compensation. What was insanely galling was that TNA got a lot of talent in because they allowed their folks to work other promotions like ROH and NJPW, but then out of the blue, they dropped anyone that refused to pull out of commitments.

Like none of these people could exclusively do TNA because TNA doesn’t pay shit…so not surprisingly, they had a massive drop in talent.

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Brocky

I don’t credit tna for their talent pool. the talent pool was always there because wwe was so insistent against changing, tna was just at the right place and right time. if they had been launched 5 years later they would have been nothing.

they didn’t really have much “home grown” talent, so it makes sense they couldn’t keep it.

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JustStopDude

They never tried to keep their talent. They gave out crazy cash to big names…like Bubba Ray, Hulk, Kevin Nash, Eric Bischoff….and its dumbfounding. Why spend that kind of money on names from the past?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Joey Heatherton; young boy crush…. perhaps dating myself…. well I was dating myself then and I’m dating myself now.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

She was the tits. Literally.

8 yr old me would like to high five you.

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Brick Meathook

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.

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Horatio Cornblower

You should both probably wash your hands first.

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

How is the FBI not at your house every day?

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Unsurprised

/Pulls off Moose’s mask

ROBERT MUELLER!!!?!?!1111!!!1

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Deep state” protects this libtard.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

The Red Foreman 500

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Brocky

great minds think alike huh?

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Brocky

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Horatio Cornblower

Just started watching “Godless” on the Netflix. It’s…goodish.

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Unsurprised

It’s good enough.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening, folks. Yeah right, I’ll be at LAX in a few hours if you have any ham left.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Don’t you have a home!?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Right?????

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I saw it for almost 60 hours in a row!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit dude, don’t you ever stay home these days?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

No

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Every time it loops it gets funnier.

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Brocky

bye bye alexa, you provoked the beast one too many times.

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Horatio Cornblower

I see the WWE hasn’t gone the weight classes, despite my many, many letters on the subject.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So a lot of people……………. weighed in on this…….

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Brocky

….but how else is The rock’s cousin gonna over come body shaming and beat an opponent 1/3 her size.

seriously, that was part of the feud.

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Unsurprised

Is she wearing a Super Bowl ring?

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Brocky

Lol, they had to make the belt smaller so it would fit her. I’m not making it up.

also, when rock revealed the new wwe title a few years back, I remember thinking it looked like an SB ring

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Unsurprised

An SB ring designed by a maniac.

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Brocky

this week on pawn stars, we look back at a relic from the 1990’s….

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Unsurprised

The Ryan Leaf Special

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Unsurprised

I love Uwe Boll now?

I would fight him. Alex Jones is a piece of shit. You chicken, coward? Bock, bock! Call me out, motherfucker… I dare you, unless you are a pussy. EVERYONE RETWEET UNTIL PUSSY ALEX JONES ACCEPT THE BOXING UWE BOLL CHALLENGE @RealAlexJones

— Uwe Boll (@UweBollRaw) April 6, 2018

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“….. FULLY FUNCTIONAL……FULLY FUNCTIONAL……”

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Unsurprised

It’s the Pimpbot 5000!

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Brocky

Alexa wearing a spiked 80’s looking jacket like something out of mad max beyond thunderdome

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Brocky

can’t find a pic of her jacket. honestly kinda dissapointed with her lack of creativity with her ring gear. she’s worn that before

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Jackit off?

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Unsurprised

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Senor Weaselo

Hey, it’s the lost diadem of Rowena Ravenclaw!

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Brocky

my man.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Pretty sure she’s all woman.

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Unsurprised

I volunteer to investigate further.

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Unsurprised

For science.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Everything is fine.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Just saying…
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

NAWT my type

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You’re just saying that because she could kick your ass.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WHAT? She has a pulse!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

and that qualification doesn’t always go with you.

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King Hippo

Like I always sez, ded under 7, still get to heaven!

/I mean minutes, don’t want anyone to get the wrong creepy idea (Mr. Trestman)

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King Hippo

you see, in a way, the older you get, the pickier you HAVE to be, assuming you want…a successful launch. OR SO I HEAR.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The older I get the more women I find attractive.. Well, and the more weird perverted shit I know about that…….. well, we’re good here.

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King Hippo

I honest to God wish I was MOAR like you in both those areas. But noooooo, I just like what I like (and it’s all bad for me), and when a woman is all like NO, tell me what you really want sexually – I am just like “it’s so great to have comfortable sexual relations, then fall asleep after making silly jokes about it.”

SUCH a fucking WASP that way. Is what I is.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, the goat that lives down the street from you is going to be VEEEEEERY disappointed.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

More like, “What? She has a pulse?”

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nomonkeyfun

Good Morning, Miss Bliss.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

Yo, is seamus around? Alexa is on.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Mention the Devil’s name, and I appear.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Beetlejuice?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Putin.

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Brocky

In all seriousness, I’ve had a challenging couple of months. Been debating writing on it, but my a sympton of it was limited access to internet, and phone wasn’t just cutting it.

but in a new literal place. new lap top and new wifi.

…..and hopefully i can finally get around to posting the finale of fantasy gods…..

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ballsofsteelandfury

We’d love to read your stuff, no matter the subject!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Big time.

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Senor Weaselo

But do you have a Mew? I don’t have a Mew…

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Brocky

I can’t find a damn ditto. Starting to piss me off.

Caught a second mewtwo though.

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King Hippo

Man, for a supposed glove-man, Amed Rosario having an assssss inning.

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Brocky

….glove?

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King Hippo

You guys both make excellent points.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I love all 3 of those things, in that exact order!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

So he’s actually an ass man?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

sup guys, miss me?

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King Hippo

he’s alive guys!!

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Mr. Ayo

/updates DFO 2018 In Memoriam collage

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JerBear50

/updates DFO death pool picks.
Hippo, you’re back to my top spot.

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King Hippo

pffffft, amateur. There’s no value in taking me.

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JerBear50

You’re my Kirk Douglas, Hippo. Won’t get me much, but can’t leave money on the table.

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Brocky

Question 1: is this a death pool or a suicide pool?

Question 2: Do accidental overdoses count as suicide? because its not like they think they’re taking flintstones vitamins

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ballsofsteelandfury

Death pool.
No.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

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JerBear50

Death pool. Honestly, I’ve barely been around here at all so wasn’t aware you’d been gone. I’ve only been popping in every week or two. This is the first time in quite awhile I’ve been around back to back nights. So welcome back and glad you’re not dead, but sorry you’re still probably in the midwest.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

G’day Brocky. Back from conquering Tajikistan?

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Brocky

…… yes?

nervously checks police records to see if I did more tripping on acid than the police report says

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I like Jessica Mendoza trash talking proposal guy. Because fuck those people (even when they get the correct hand).

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litre_cola

True Lies has become the new Shawshank on teevee, I think you could watch Arnie and Tom Arnold on a 24 hour loop.

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King Hippo

tis a turrrrible movie too

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s not true it’s a perfectly fun…

[remembers scene where Jamie Lee Curtis drops an Uzi down the stairs and it kills like five guys]

…uh, never mind.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Didn’t mind her dance scene tho.

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King Hippo

why does NYM leave the corpse of Matt Harvey in the game? Some of us worship GAMBLOR, you know.

/Hippo betted $50 at +360 when they was down 2-nil, in addition to the original +160 ML bet on 1st 5 innings.

//Harvey also a U*NC “alumnus”

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King Hippo

Cashing in $130 due to NC State’s Trae Turner getting caught overrunning 3B at 5-4? I owe the lad a beer if I ever see him at the PR.

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nomonkeyfun

The Mets goal is to make every pitcher look like Dave Dravecky.

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King Hippo

It’s important 2 have goals. The dentist’s office wall said so.

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rockingdog

found a funny:

My dad is vacuuming while chewing sunflower seeds and he’s spitting them out right in front of the vacuum to clean them up as he goes. I have so much still to learn from this man that gave me life.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT BRAND NEW AIR FRY DOESN’T FUCKING WORK.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JerBear50

Bastards. It’s because he’s Mexican, isn’t it? Racist sonsabitches.

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JerBear50

Because it’s broke or because it’s air?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The coil doesn’t get hot. I had to make our zuchinni fries in the oven instead. They taste like disappointment.

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JerBear50

That sucks but to be fair, that’s only a half step lower than tasting of zucchini.

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Unsurprised

I saw this and now you fuckers have to as well.

Spoiler

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LemonJello

Do those have the iron-ons with extra mercury in them?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

KILL IT WITH FIRE!

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litre_cola

Evening commentists, I hope you are well. Winter can fuck right off. I have had enough of this shit. I feel for Wakezilla who moved to this burgh and it has been the worst winter on record!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nothing to see here.

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nomonkeyfun

I assume your friend in Georgia is drunker, watching the Masters,baiting rich assholes, and has been since wake up time.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I guess he could be from Kentucky?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I guess Brisbane is a contender.

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SonOfSpam

Just like the gypsy woman said!!!

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JustStopDude

So she didn’t get killed or kill anyone so I guess Rhonda had a good debut…

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JustStopDude

HHH and Stephanie vs Kurt Angle and Rhonda…

Literally no one should be in the ring with the exception of the ref.

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Senor Weaselo

WWE referee is a stepping stone to Second City, right?

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Horatio Cornblower

ESPN is doing a draft special, (which I am watching for “reasons”), and are suggesting that Baker Mayfield is worthy of a high draft pick because one time he was sincerely nice to a girl who died of cancer, and therefore this makes up for all those times he was a dick on the football field.

While Mayfield does seem to have been very nice to this girl, legitimately upset about her death, and generally a good guy in the situation, who does ESPN think they are kidding? If a team felt that a college QB was going to be a star for their team for the next ten years they would step over their own mothers to draft him even if he had caused a child’s cancer.

What I’m saying is that the NFL is full of assholes.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Make sure you fill out your time on your DFO timesheet. Mark it as “research”.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

That’s “outline open issues” civilian.

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King Hippo

Still rather have Rosen. He can play quartered back. Seems MOAR relevant as a job skill.

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rockingdog

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Horatio Cornblower

Kevin Costner and Bob Costas discussing the making of ‘Field of Dreams’; I’ve gotta believe that my television is going to smug itself to death if I don’t change the channel quickly.

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Brick Meathook

It’s plain as day that Bob has a raging crush on Mr. Costner, and I don’t even have the volume on.

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Brick Meathook

BOB: Kevin, I’d like to ask you about . . . you don’t mind if I call you Kevin, do you?

MR. COSTNER: No, Kevin is fine.

BOB: *swoon*

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Brick Meathook

THEY’RE SITTING ON A PORCH SWING TOGETHER

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

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JustStopDude

This is the best announcing team that WWE can come up with?

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Gratliff

I am completely here for Ronda Rousey embarrassing herself on the world stage after her shitbag fuck of a boyfriend got an industry veteran pulled from Mania for calling him out for being an asshole.

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