(Not the actual car)
NFL News:
- Josh Gordon has signed his exclusive rights tender with the Browns.
- Good thing – 4/20 is this Friday.
- Bad thing – Because of all the suspensions, he only has credit for four seasons.
- He becomes a Restricted Free Agent in 2019, and a UFA in 2020.
- Ziggy Ansah has signed his franchise tag, and will report to Lions OTAs on Tuesday.
- It will earn him $17.14 million for 2018, unless he & the team work out a long-term deal.
- Deebo is done! Again!!
- James Harrison announced his retirement (again) today.
- He previously retired in 2014, but was lured back when the Steelers ran into injury trouble.
- He retires the Steelers all-time sacks leader with 80.5.
- James Harrison announced his retirement (again) today.
- The Dez Bryant Saga:
- Suitors:
- The Ravens are going to take a run at signing him.
- Dez says joining the Rams “would be fun”.
- Smartest guy in the room – Cole Beasley, when declining comment on the whole situation:
- “I’ll say somethin’ I shouldn’t have and be next.”
- Suitors:
- Somebody teach Mr. Ayo some Polish – Sebastian Janikowski is now a Seahawk.
- So we’re clear:
- A kicker who bar fought in college & was arrested with GHB = fine
- A QB that takes a knee during a song = banned
- So we’re clear:
- Danny Amendola, on why he signed with the Dolphins:
- “When free agency broke, I came to the realization that he (Belichick) wasn’t going to really come close to any of the other offers I had.”
- “It’s not easy (playing for Bill), that’s for sure. He’s an a–h— sometimes.”
- Finally, starting Monday by again Stealing from Crimebeat!:
- Newly acquired Daryl Worley has been released by the Eagles after being arrested & tazed this weekend for DUI, weapons and disorderly conduct charges.
- Per ESPN, he faces six charges in all: DUI (first offense), firearms not to be carried without a license, carrying firearms in public in Philadelphia, possession of an instrument of crime, resisting arrest, and disorderly conduct/engaging in fighting.
- He was found passed out in his car, blocking an intersection outside the team’s practice facility.
- The cops had to rouse him, then taze him when he resisted their efforts.
- Per ESPN, he faces six charges in all: DUI (first offense), firearms not to be carried without a license, carrying firearms in public in Philadelphia, possession of an instrument of crime, resisting arrest, and disorderly conduct/engaging in fighting.
- He was acquired from Carolina in exchange for Torrey Smith.
- Newly acquired Daryl Worley has been released by the Eagles after being arrested & tazed this weekend for DUI, weapons and disorderly conduct charges.
Rough times in the Beerguy house on the weekend. On Sunday, Winewife & I were taking the dogs out for a hike. Lambeau, the pup, decided to jump over my wife while she was getting him out of the car & ran into traffic. He ran into a car as it drove by at 50 km/h, putting a small dent in the sliding door of a Honda Odyssey.
My dog’s head dented a car.
The goofy little fucker walked around like Trent Green for a few minutes, and then merrily continued on his way. [We monitored him all night; nothing. Good thing I used the old NFL concussion protocols.] Winewife, however, decided that we needed to have an immediate, one-sided discussion about proper dog-unloading procedures. Needless to say, I employed one of the few “say nothing” cards I had at my disposal, and by bedtime all was resolved.
Except for Roger Goodell taking away one of my draft picks. Looks like I have to give up stout.
Riga, meanwhile, was frustrated that her attempts to finish off the interloper remain unsatisfied. She will begin anew next weekend.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Leafs at Bruins – 7:00PM | NBCSN / CBC (Bruins up 2-0)
- Lightning at Devils – 7:30PM | CNBC / Sportsnet (Bolts up 2-0)
- Predators at Avalanche – 10:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet (Preds up 2-0)
- Ducks at Sharks – 10:30PM | CNBC / Sportsnet1 (Sharks up 2-0)
- NBA:
- Heat at 76ers – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN
- Spurs at Warriors – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN
- MLB:
- Cardinals at Cubs – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- Royals at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
- Only if the ice stops falling off the CN Tower & through the roof.
A tarp in RF and a hole. #BlueJays pic.twitter.com/hvIZIdCnKj
— Scott Mitchell (@ScottyMitchTSN) April 16, 2018
- WWE:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
- The annual “Superstar Shake-up”, where performers are rotated between the two shows, is tonight.
- So plenty of cross-over debuts.
- John Cena & Nikki Bella broke up via press release yesterday, so expect lots of cat-calls tonight if Big Match John shows up.
- They were due to have married May 5th in Mexico, according to People.
- I guess “Never Give Up” doesn’t apply to relationships.
- The annual “Superstar Shake-up”, where performers are rotated between the two shows, is tonight.
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
It’s 10 days to the Draft, with schedule release expected this Thursday. Mr. Scott?
found a funny:
tips for spotting a narc:
– refers to cocaine as “the cocaine”
– introduces self as “Narc–I mean Mark”
– removes mustache when eating soup
– shouts “let’s make a drug deal!” too often
– heart tattoo that just says “The Law”
Now THAT’S a decisive referee.
?WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE ?
Getzlaf just got a misconduct for something, so that’s pretty amusing.
Just finished my THIRD powerpoint of the work day. I can’t believe I’ve only had one cocktail.
Making or watching? Because those are different notes for the police to find after the spree.
Making. Tomorrow i have to present two and watch a gazillion. Would get sauced on the plane after BUT have to rent a car and drive to bumble for Wednesday’s meeting/PowerPoint.
Kids, don’t ever grow up.
“You just made yourself a powerful enemy.” – Dean Dak Prescott
Oh, sweet baby Jesus. I just read a decent argument that Hannity disclaiming Cohen is his lawyer is a de facto waiver of privilege and I just came a little.
Is the argument “if you’re not his client there’s no attorney-client privilege”? I actually asked that earlier.
Generally, no.
Apropos of nothing, Pro Wrestling-Twin Peaks meme crossovers thread.
https://twitter.com/wresnocontext/status/977789176870526976
thats a good funny.
Maybe my favorite of the bunch:
Im thinking about asking my boss if he could play this song in the office some random time in the day to let us know to take a break. Thoughts?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CBlPJE7Sew
Follow up with this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMjtvSABQ3Q
Do you work in bullet hell, or do you owe the mob and/or the devil money?
Also I started to figure out the chords because that’s what I do, and I realized at 15 seconds the chord does not quite seem in tune and I’m trying to figure out why.
Edit: After realizing the bass hasn’t come in yet, it makes even less sense. Either it’s way too sharp of a major 6th between the two middle voices (if you tune to the bass) or it’s the root of the chord so that should be what you’re tuning to (if you tune to the root, it’s up to discussion and is the source of many a chamber music argument.)
/Nerd snipe
Trying to make sense of a YouTube video is the definition of insanity. Stop for your own sake.
I know it’s from the Cuphead soundtrack which has been lauded praise, but that chord was sticking in my craw and I had to figure it out. (I have perfect pitch which means as my students play out of tune I wince and they can tell which way they’re off depending on which eye twitches. No, seriously.)
Haha. I was kicked out of choir class because the teacher thought I was intentionally singing off key.
I was actually trying.
.
OF COURSE fireworks and gas stations. They just want to meet Jesus in as many pieces as possible.
*checks sharks score… YES up 3-1!!!! Zap those quackin Ducks!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bh7bYNAHXxw&ab_channel=LidaLiberopoulou
just scored now it 4-1. YES!
also there was a bit of a fight gloves and helmets off…. Cool!
Thanks everyone for your concerns about Lambeau. As has been noted, he’s lucky he hit the car & not the car hitting him.
warriors not looking good this first half
Lizard people.
Evening
Yea basketball!
I don’t get this. Now he’s finding his dead self in the crashed moon rover?
Oh – it’s Sam Bell.
Who dat?
That’s the same guy.
dude are you fucking high watching this?
Little.
Have you figured out what the deal is yet?
I think he’s like expiring.
So now I think he’s calling home.
AVS!!!!
game 2 warriors spurs. lets go DUBS!!!
not sure how to interpret a dead pornstar gif.
With your pants off. They’re already dead on the inside anyway.
He didn’t kill her – twitter did.
Sweet Sugar (1972)
OOK OOK
one more for seamus
This is hypnotic. I just ponder how it didn’t fly out.
Sheer force of will of every dipshit prude in America.
Tape, then glue
The Sixers have a lot of white dudes on their team.
Trust the Process
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K77olCFz6dI
I’m watching Moon on Netflix. I’m not sure if I want to keep watching or not.
It’s a good movie.
just keep watching.
ok.
he crashed.
Coleman puts this game… on ice.
Victor Hedman (heh) giving Marchand a run for his money in the “Top Piece of Shit” competition.
I hate my family. I have to put on pants and go out.
This is gonna eat into my drinking time later.
No one makes me put on my own pants!
DaDDario! Love them … er, love her.
Found a funny:
“The snozberries taste like snozberries.”
Smockin!
?
Did he stop growing at 6?
I hate this story, this kid, this company, all cryptocurrency, nerds, the Internet, and the world. Fuck it all.
Fair.
Evening Moose.
@sheamus I got you bro
Who is the blonde chick with the fake lips, faker boobs, and trying to look smart but obviously isn’t.
I like her?
Dana Brooke. She’s doing an accountant gimmick because reasons.
OK, two white guys just sneaked up on, and kicked the crap out of two black guys.
That just seems wrong.
This really happened in my house earlier…
Mom decided to cook Chicken Piccata tonight. Which is a good thing, because she makes it better than I do and also I didn’t have to cook. But after a few minutes of her pounding the chicken….
Me: Hey!!!! Why are you banging that chicken so loud?
I wasn’t even trying to be funny this time. Totally accidental. But damn, she was pounding the shit out of those breasts.
Shit, I just did it again I guess.
“FOR FUCK’S SAKE MOM DOES THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU POUND THAT COCK?”
did you miss alexa?
Yup.
you didn’t miss much
What a sellout rosa parks not even on teh list smh
Also, you leave Christopher Steele out of this! His movies are enjoyed by millions!
You mean Riley Steele.
I only recognize 1,2,3 and 15.
there fore I assume the other 11 are also clients of Michael Cohen
Didn’t number 8 die in the Challenger explosion?
.
The Dirt Cowboys aren’t as much fun without Bartolo Colon the mound … I mean ON the mound.
I swear to god I dated a woman that looked dead on like Ember Moon.
Sans the crazy red eye contacts of course..
@sheamus Alexa on after the commercial break
Dammit, I wasn’t paying attention.
I just clicked over to a Popeye’s commercial.
Then you got the essence of RAW