Your Why Are You Not Out Watching Deadpool 2? Open Thread

So, yesterday I left work a little early and caught a 4:00 PM showing of Deadpool 2 at my local mall/multiplex.  There are a lot of things to unwrap:

  • I paid $20 USD for a fucking movie ticket at fucking 4:00 PM!  Granted, it was a Dolby cinema with fully reclining seats that vibrated with the sound, but still!
  • The movie didn’t start until 4:22.  I timed it.  Fucking previews. Also, not one movie looked halfway interesting.
  • As I think Jake from Two and a Half Men said one time, “You don’t buy a giant movie soda, you rent it.”

As for the movie itself, I thought it would be hard to top the first one, but they did.  It is chock full of fourth-wall breaks, self-referential jokes, hilarious movie references, awesome music, and wall-to-wall fights.

It really does.

Oh, and some very good bathroom etiquette advice!

All in all, I give it ten stars out of five.  Go see it.  It’s a family film.

BTW, I have to say that the marketing for this movie has been outstanding.  Have you seen all the Deadpool stuff at 7-11 stores?

I’ve got two out of five so far.
One is hanging in my office.

Yes, it’s tasty

So, what are you waiting for already?

Oh, you just want to sit here and talk?

Fine, we’ll just pout then!

Seriously, go see it.

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Saw the RBG documentary tonight. Good stuff.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Underrated series.

Mr. Ayo

I thought she was Margot Robbie for way too long

Unsurprised

Which is funny because she’s old enough to be Robbie’s mother.

Mr. Ayo

Probably more accurate to say I though Margot Robbie was her.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

FUCK YOUR SPOILERS!

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

that made no sense whatsoever

Unsurprised

This could refer to anything.

Mr. Ayo

I don’t think the concept of cat dildos is that impenetrable.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

“Get a job, brat.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I wish white genocide was real.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I wish a sense of humor was real.

Mr. Ayo

I’m using that hashtag on every IG and Twitter post I make going forward.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

1-0 Carlton!!

/will not last

WCS

Well, you were not wrong.

King Hippo

whatever the point of this shenanigans, the other side seems quite a bit better at it

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

WOO, Carlton is live on Fox Soccer Plus! I give it about 25 minutes before I give up and fall asleep.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

It’s the cats’ dildo now

King Hippo

“The Cats’ Dildo” – another possible fantasy football name

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

I may have screwed up at the ballgame. My youngest granddaughter now owns a rally monkey. She’s still a Cubs fan dammit!

JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Where’s the wasted overlay?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

“Forget”

...

When you nut but she gets blasted across the beach

Gratliff

Somewhere out of frame is a very drained whale

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He needs a nap.

...

lol probably a SPERM whale lol

/high fives 14-year-old self, realizes he didn’t wash his hands, grimaces

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Damn the chick on the left just vanishes, bless her heart.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

The American fascination with British Royalty is so baffling to me

King Hippo

servient mentality, explains a lot about how society operates (mega-churches, etc.)

...

I’ve been forwarding the idea that Americans are actually a deeply servile people, but the particular fascination with British royalty, not that of any other country, has always stood out as a bit strange to me

King Hippo

A country founded by slaveowners who wanted to be free, now “fiercely independent” deeply servile folk, indeed. Easier to train than a dog, as long as you have sufficient ad/psyops budget.

Unsurprised

The Declaration of Independence originally said “the pursuit of property.” Liberty and happiness as they applied then and have continued to through today aren’t about personal freedom, but the ability to own property – mostly land but also people – and enjoy them and the rents that one earns off of them (i.e. “happiness”).

The war makes a Hell of a lot more sense when you remember that the British Empire agreed at the end of the French and Indian War not to expand into the northwest territories and basically foreclosed on American colonial expansions. There were very rich, very powerful men whose entire fortunes rested on whether the colonies could expand so that they could acquire and sell land and debt secured by land. George Washington, for example, was a lifelong real estate speculator whose entire fortune (and while he was President, he was the richest man in the U.S.) was tied up in speculations made on lands west of the Appalachians and Alleghenies. France and Spain helped out the U.S. because “Fuck Great Britain,” but if not for their own revolutions and political catastrophes in the early decades of American history, the U.S. wouldn’t have had been able to enjoy unfettered expansion. They received concessions from France to go a little further west, but there’s a reason why no one in Canada was ever included in independence discussions. The U.S. lucked out and eventually made the Louisiana Purchase and further south and west Spain was unable to protect its empire, and so we lucked out.

There’s a reason why only 3% of the population fought in the war, and of those the non-landed fighters were stiffed over and over for decades by the deadbeat landed gentry and other owners of capital and rent-producing debts (i.e. The Founding Fathers). It’s also not like taxation without representation was a claim made in good faith considering that the taxation was levied to pay for the war the empire fought on the colonies’s behalf, so it would only be fair for the colonies to pay for it. Anyway, the point is that there was little of value actually seeking independence for most people in the colonies because the same people would still be in power, the colonies/states would still collect the same taxes (now it was out of “necessity” for self-rule to continue levying those same taxes), there would still be slaves, the landed whites would still have all the political power, the Indians had more to lose under a sovereign U.S., and so for most Americans it was The Who singing about the new boss being the same as the old boss.

Unsurprised

This is also why states rights is such a powerful drive – states are the fundamental political unit when it comes to ownership, control, and distribution of land and capital. It’s also the political unit that is most readily controlled by landed interests because they are geographically large regions of mostly unoccupied land. Municipalities and smaller units have the unfortunate tendency to be filled with people, mostly non-landowers, and those people have always had that damnable desire for agency and at least the pretense of self-rule. In a country that has acquired in order to ensure political freedom, democracy is the pitch but the freedom is overall a lack of public accountability in the form of a government that owns and controls land and capital. I mean, it’s not like the U.S. was ever not going to be capitalist.

But “democracy!” And that means that the non-landowners also want their own political and economic freedom, but because of mob rule (which the Federalist Papers were written to propagandize against) too much democracy threatens capital. And that’s why you got the Connecticut Compromise and the U.S. Senate – to temper populist sentiment and mob rule.

Take a look at your state governments. Look at what they actually do, and more importantly, look at who comprise their membership. Also take note that most states’s governments were set up with state senates being as equally antidemocratic as the U.S. Senate all the way until Reynolds v. Sims (1964) and “One man, one vote” forced state senates to redraw all of their districts based on populations instead of some other basis – usually counties, where land and capital ownership generally determines all political power – which had the overt purpose of checking the democratic impulses of the population centers and the rabble that vote in cities.

It’s not a coincidence that every appeal to states rights in the federal context benefits those with capital and real property over those who do not. It’s not about personal freedom, it’s about political and economic freedom and who controls how the state enforces relations between parties, especially between owners and everyone else. Real property is predominantly state law (and exclusively state law in family and probate matters, obviously). Contracts are predominantly state law. General police powers – health, welfare, morals, and safety – are only held by the states; federal police powers only exist over federal jurisdiction or in the limited context of constitutionally enumerated powers. States can police themselves over damn near anything; the feds can only police over limited economic matters and sovereign powers like immigration and foreign affairs.

Anyway …

Horatio Cornblower

needs moar dick jokes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

My aunt and cousins had a viewing party for the little ones and I don’t fucking understand it AT ALL. Unless the bride’s going topless or something, I don’t understand the interest.

Brick Meathook

There needs to be more palace intrigue and executions to capture my attention; weddings just don’t cut it.

King Hippo

if each wedding or birth required a beheading? Now you’ve got my attention.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In breeding too…. oh, wait.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

So they changed a ton of the events in Fahrenheit 451 movie, but I can’t really say if I like the movie itself or not because Shannon and Jordan playing off each other for 80% of the movie is so ridiculously good.

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

The lubrication scheme for this device is wholly inadequate; I call bullshit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

France?

Spanky Datass

Did anyone else see tomorrows Sunday Gravy when it was up for a bit earlier? Nope? Just me ’cause I’m a ninja-jedi-warlock-webmasterbater? OK, cool.
/drunje

Mr. Ayo

I saw it on facebook.

Did I say that out loud?

King Hippo

WITCH!!!!

Mr. Ayo

It’s still there!

Sunday Gravy
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yeah right

I don’t know how that happened. Weed had nothing to do with it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

You could have Michael B. Jordan and Michael Shannon doing extended dialogue in any piece of shit and it would be extremely watchable

JustStopDude

I managed to achieve the following today, since I am still trying to recover from giving training all last week…

1) Wake up and move to the couch. I took a two hour nap.

2) Go to grocery store to get enough food to not have to leave the house this weekend

3) Took another nap.

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I swear to god I nodded off again watching the Caps…oh look…I didn’t miss anything.

I think I am going to bed…

King Hippo

You can’t make me.

The last movie I seen in a theatre was Django Unchained on a Divorcemas trip to some random beach town in Jawja, and God willing, it will be the last one I ever see.

All the fancy ass shite in the cinema now would frighten Hippo.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sex and Fury (1973)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

I really loved DJango Unchained. I hated Inglorious Basterds, but DJango I thought was awesome.

Horatio Cornblower

Liked both, but The Hateful Eight might have been the worst thing I’ve seen that didn’t involve Eli Roth jerking off to decapitations.

King Hippo

I didn’t see that one but HEY, let he who has a free hand cast the first stone

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Makeitsnow sent me a beer from Oskar Blues call JahVanilla TenFidy.

I’m nearly through one can of this 12.9% beauty and I can’t feel my toes or my ears.

It is glorious.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I was at an Oskar Blues tasting room when they had they had their release party for that beer on 4/20. It was very loud and a man had a full pot leaf suit and tie combo on. I GTFO’d after one beer since I’m old.

/cool story, bro

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

The Gods aren’t alone.

Horatio Cornblower

I just finished mine and told the dog he wasn’t getting his walk because I wasn’t sure I could find my way home.

He seems OK with it, mostly because it’s still raining out.

Unsurprised

“Pee on the floor like daddy.”

Unsurprised

Pussy

Brick Meathook

THE ROOSKIE SCORES

King Hippo

but he wouldn’t take the shot with 5 seconds left because he’s Ice Footy Larry Johnson. CANDY ASS RED, Lenin would be rolling over in his grave if’n he only had one ,, smh

Spanky Datass

Holy shit skater 8!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE CELTICS I CALL THEM THE SLUMPBUSTER BECAUSE THEY ARE LOOKING UGLY AS HELL AND ARE GETTING SCORED ON AT WILL.

...

I think I’m making progress toward sanity. The Cubs are 23-19 and likely to go to 24-19 with the 8-0 lead they have over the Reds right now, but Cubs Twitter is twisting itself in knots freaking out about this team even though they’re struggling far less than they did last year. I mean, have these people seen the Dodgers?

...

They’re up 9-0 after 7 very good innings from Quintana and they beat the Reads handily Friday, but those mouth-breathing W-flaggers are still gonna bitch about Carl blowing a lead and this afternoon’s walk-off walk.

Horatio Cornblower

Yanks were 8-8, or something like that, before going on a 19-2 tear, and Yankees twitter was beside itself.

It’s a long season. You should start to have a good idea of what your team is by roughly Memorial Day. Anyone who starts panicking before doesn’t know baseball.

...

That freakout was insanely good because how scary good the Yankees are.

Spanky Datass

Can’t we all agree that twitter is most often the problem and rarely the answer?
/awaits high-fives or rotten produce

...

I used to be able to fun on there, but lately I haven’t been able to

Horatio Cornblower

(high fives spanky while holding a rotten tomato in his high-fivin’ hand)

King Hippo

or the goddamned Cardinals??

theeWeeBabySeamus

My company seems delayed. No Hollywood Cemetery. Sorry Balls.

I still have hope foar teh blowjob, however.

litre_cola

From balls? You guys are close.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not THAT close.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh, that big eh? Well good for you!

Gratliff

The quality of acting is really doing a lot to keep me from hating the modern tech adaptation. Much more of this and the LeBron James vs. Michael Jordan talk will have to end, because he won’t even be the best Michael Jordan anymore.

Gratliff

Holy shit. I didn’t realize he was Wallace.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Celtics on pace to score about 55 points in the game…

rockingdog

sure looks like it..

...

Hello, ladies. May I interest you in some enforced monogamy?

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Unsurprised

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...

The best part of that picture is all of the Soviet art in the background. Apparently, he bought it as a reminder of how a repressive society stunts art. I guess one or two reminders doesn’t work because supposedly he owns *200* pieces of it. I can’t imagine acquiring that much of something I hate to prove some point.

Unsurprised

It reminds me of how homophobes tend to have the most vivid imaginations about gay sex.

Unsurprised

Also, saying Soviets didn’t have and innovate art is factually false.

...

Admittedly, I know little of Soviet art, but what I know of reactionary-inspired art is that it is quite dull and reflects tons of self-repression

Brick Meathook

LENIN POINTING:
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...

Lenin lookin like a snacc

...
Brick Meathook

Because most homophobes are closeted gays.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah. “Most”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Anyway, Peterson is an idiot. His worshippers are even bigger idiots.

...

They’re definitely tedious dullards who haven’t been exposed to any sort of literature or humanities studies, which is part of why I think they find him so amazing. I’m not even convinced they even understand what he says, but they definitely feel validated by him, which is the core of his appeal.

Horatio Cornblower

The thing is, some, (and I emphasize some), of what Peterson has to say would be good advice if his audience would actually take it to heart instead of thinking that it only applied to everyone else but them.

Yes, you should clean your room. You should honor your commitments. You should accept the consequences of your actions.

You should also, however, ignore that stuff about enforced monogamy, because holy shit, that is some medieval bullshit right there.

Unsurprised
litre_cola

Confession. I watch Riverdale with my wife because of all the sports I watch and it is a mind fuck from reading the comice. HOWEVAH I am on a musical episode and want to play in traffic.

Unsurprised

Aren’t the girls hot?

litre_cola

Yes. That helps. My brain tells me they are not teenagers and are actresses in their 20s ehich helps.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We watched Riverdale. In general I found it unremarkable.

King Hippo

Ain’t there Betty/Veronica lezzie overtones, at least??

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Imagine the shitshow if NFL refs had to rule on if it’s a “catch.”

Brick Meathook

Last night, after a long and very productive day, I did a bong hit and happened upon this gif. I watched it about a thousand times; there’s a lot going on here.

Watch the one dude change his mind mid-hallway.

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Unsurprised

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

You’re too kind. It was a pleasure meeting everyone!

Unsurprised

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L: “Pull over!”

MJ: “Why?”

L: “PULL OVER! PULL OVER!”

/Pulls the car over.

/Waits.

MJ: “Well?”

L: “What?”

/Waits.

/Waits.

L: “Okay. Let’s go.”

Unsurprised

MJ: “DUDE! What the fuck?”

L: “What?”

MJ: “Why’d we pull over?”

L: “I don’t know. You pulled over. I’m just sitting here.”

MJ: “YOU TOLD ME TO!”

L: “What? Nooooo.”

MJ: “Yes you did! You just yelled at me to pull over.”

L: “What? No I didn’t”

MJ: “Fuck you!”

L: “Calmer than you are, dude.”

SCENE

Unsurprised

At least three of you are cat owners.

Gratliff

Just saw them destroy a copy of The Great Gatsby, and I’m suddenly okay with eliminating books

Horatio Cornblower

Call me when they tee off on ‘Catcher in the Rye’, because I am all in on burning every copy of that piece of shit I can get my hands on.

Gratliff

It was actually part of that collection. Later on, they knocked out Harry Potter, as well.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehehe….I know I’m a dick. Sorry.

But on my way to go pick up 27yr old weed girl from her place of work.

And she’s got weed for me.

Life is fucking fabulous, ppl.

Unsurprised

Congrats

theeWeeBabySeamus

Trust me, dude. I’m as shocked as anybody.

Unsurprised

No. Seriously. I finally came to my senses and pulled my head out of my ass. Resentment hasn’t gotten me jack shit in 38 years. It’s time to try something else.

Spanky Datass

The Dirt Cowboys are giving Ariel a spot start in Chi tonight.
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Unsurprised

I found MTWV:

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Gratliff

Time to be angry at the Fahrenheit 451 movie

Unsurprised

You didn’t even show off the Deadpool version of DVD cases they’re selling at Walmart.

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Unsurprised

It’s basically the movie version of what Marvel’s been doing with Deadpool and variant covers of its other books on occasion for the last decade since he blew up.

http://www.adweek.com/brand-marketing/heres-the-story-behind-deadpools-incredible-blu-ray-takeover-at-walmart/

Unsurprised

16 in total.

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Fronkenshteen

The rain just broke here in Virginia, beautiful cool, sunny evening. Perfect weather to fold up your Capitals jersey and bust out the Nationals t-shirt.

...

Look, if you’re doing to dress to express your love of crushing postseason failure, you need an outfit for each season

scotchnaut

Because the closest movie theatre is two hours away.

/I may as well be a goddamn Mennonite

Brick Meathook

Mennonites have deluxe home theaters in the barn thats their secret most ppl don’t know that

Mr. Ayo

Caps gonna Caps