Good morning folks.
Hot out there isn’t it?
Man, fuck summer.
Fuck it directly in it’s ass.
If you’re a global warming truther then I don’t know how much more anecdotal proof you’re going to need to cause you to remove your head from your sweaty rectum and wake up and smell the melting asphalt.
You should go ahead and vaccinate your kids while you’re at it too.
As discussed before one of the many reasons that I live where I do is because I hate the goddamn summer. Fucking hate it. Then you start factoring in humidity and I honestly have no idea how some of you folks do it.
That shit is oppressive.
This year for some reason we’ve been getting hit with humidity too. What the fuck? Southern California has always been known for cooler drier air but not now. As I am writing this the current humidity is 87%
EIGHTY FUCKING SEVEN PERCENT!
This ain’t Cambodia! It ain’t the equator! It’s fucking L.A.! On the goddamn beach!
/turns on central air
There. That’s more like it.
As evidenced by past seasons of Sunday Gravy, when we get into the Summer doldrums I stay away from the oven, stay out the damn kitchen and we head to the grill.
There you go.
Over the next couple of episodes we are going to be experimenting with cooking entire meals, proteins, sides, and salads etc WITHOUT using our ovens. I’ve got a couple of tricks up my sleeve and we will be using more than just a grill to achieve our desired ends.
Today though? It’s all grilling all the time.
I’ve got a couple of menu ideas and you will probably recognize an item or two but there will indeed be a couple of new tricks to hopefully inspire you to keep on cooking, save your money on take out and practice some new techniques.
Ready?
Fuck yes.
If those pork chops look familiar there’s a pretty damn good reason for that. I’ve posted the recipe on here a couple of years ago.
Those are chops that have been brined and given a good rub of cumin and then thrown on the grill.
Some of you good DFO folks have even gotten to sample these before
That picture up there shows why I’m posting these a second time. I grilled some pineapple to make a pineapple serrano salsa to give the dish a solid kick in the ass.
Ever grilled fresh pineapple?
That shit is delicious. Grilling actually adds to the sweetness and it gives the requisite smoky touch to it as well. Good shit. It also works perfectly with the serranos in the salsa.
We will be working with fresh pineapple today. I don’t think those slices of pineapple from a can will have the needed structural integrity to survive a grilling session.
Prep the pineapple for cooking by trimming the outside of the pineapple and using a paring knife, remove the little bits of spine that penetrate the pineapples flesh. It should look something like this.
I’m going to have a quick digression here to give you a quick guide for kitchen tool maintenance. Notice the cutting board in that pic? If you’re a regular reader you’ve seen it many, many times. Here it is in it’s entirety.
This thing has been with me for a couple of decades and it finally shuffled off this mortal coil a couple of weeks back. The pineapple is sitting on a remnant of this board, actually about 1/3 of the entire board and this was it’s last application.
Because?
New cutting board!
This one is bamboo and is 12″ x 18″ in length.
Here’s a quick guide to treating your new cutting board prior to it’s first use.
That is a bottle of mineral oil in the photo. Are you familiar with mineral oil? Does it invoke unpleasant memories? Then you are indeed familiar with it.
Know where to find mineral oil?
At the pharmacy in the laxative section.
Hoo boy am I familiar with mineral oil. Long story from a long time ago that doesn’t need to be brought up here.
Why mineral oil instead of vegetable oil or olive oil?
Class?
Damn right. Vegetable based oils will go rancid and impart a funky taste/smell to your board.
You don’t want that do you?
Fuck that.
Take about 1/3 cup of mineral oil and apply liberally with a paper towel to your new cutting board. Get both sides and the edges too. This treats the wood and will give you less splintering down the road.
When treated it will look like this.
Let the oiled board rest for a couple of days minimum before using. This will allow the oil to permeate the wood and give you a longer lasting treatment.
/End of digression.
Where were we?
Oh yeah.
Cut the pineapple in thick slices. Think of them as pineapple steaks.
Once your grill gets hot and ready, baste the pineapple with just a quick brush of olive oil and slap that thing on the grill.
These will only need about 3-4 minutes per side depending on the heat of your grill. Midway through the cooking time rotate each slice about 90 degrees prior to turning to give them some sexy, sexy grill marks.
Repeat on the second side and you are all set.
Trim around the central core of the pineapple prior to serving.
You can eat this as is at this point but if you want to make the grilled pineapple/serrano salsa then follow along.
Fire roast one or two serrano chilies, let rest in a foil covered bowl for a couple of minutes to aid with the removal of the charred skin. Remove the seeds to cut down on the heat if so desired and chop up fine. Add about 1/2 of a finely chopped red onion along with the grilled pineapple chunks and give a nice squeeze of fresh lime over the whole thing.
Be sure to grill the pineapple before grilling your proteins. This will give ample time for the salsa to rest and mingle with the other ingredients and will also help avoid any cross-contamination on the grill.
Grill them chops next.
After the chops have been cooked through, plate them fuckers up, add a nice scoop of the grilled pineapple salsa and any additional food items and you are ready to throw the fuck down.
Check this shit out.
Add a nice macaroni salad along with a lovely grilled Nathans dog and serve alongside the pork chops and salsa and you have a holiday worthy plate of deliciousness!
Yes sir.
If you’re wondering why that photo above looks nothing like the original banner photo then you are indeed an astute observer and you’ve been paying attention.
Thank you for noticing.
Because we ain’t done yet!
Know what other non-conventional fruit veggie items we can grill?
How about some…
Watermelon!
That’s one of them mini “personal” seedless watermelons.
This time we won’t even need to peel the damn thing. Just cut this one in half,
then cut into thick slices with the rind still on, brush with a little olive oil, add seasoning if you like – I added “Essence” (obligatory link) and threw that shit on a hot and ready to go grill!
Same drill as with the pineapple. Grill for a couple of minutes, rotate 90 degrees, another couple of minutes, flip and repeat.
If you take a close look at that photo you can see tong marks on the slice on the left. Watermelon gets really tender when grilled and this can happen, so use a deft tong touch.
When the watermelon has been grilled to your liking THEN remove the rind. You can practice your knife handling deftness and see if you can cut the entire rind off in one long circular cut.
For today’s application we made a really lovely grilled watermelon salad.
Use some chunks of the cut up grilled watermelon add in some handfuls of fresh baby spinach, give a drizzle of a good quality balsamic vinegar over everything and top with some crumbles of feta cheese. Give a grind of some black pepper and maybe a sprinkling of kosher salt and serve.
The grilling gives the watermelon a nice depth of flavor that watermelon just doesn’t have on it’s own. A friend of mine asked “Where did you buy such a deep red watermelon?” That’s from the grilling too, along with the essence.
Another cool thing about it, grilled watermelon makes some sexy ass food photos.
Check this crazy shit out.
Again.
And the entire meal?
That’s some brined and grilled chicken alongside some roasted garlic chicken sausage and the watermelon salad.
Zat is ze maximum sexiness, yes?
You folks use some Hillshire Farms products don’t you? This was the first time I noticed this style and holy shit was this tasty coming off the grill.
I just gave a quick brush of Sweet Baby Ray’s original sauce over the top when grilling and served.
That fucker will be purchased again.
Don’t give me the stink eye! Homemade sausage is a future recipe!
So what did we accomplish here?
Complete meals with sides and every damn thing without needing to turn on the oven.
You can do this cuz this shit is really easy and elevates the fuck out of the pineapple and watermelon.
Think of new items that could use the grill treatment. Experiment. Try new things and for the love of Christ leave that goddamn stove turned OFF during the summer.
Thanks as always for reading folks.
Grill things!
PEACE!
Dammmmm
That’s a wild o face
http://www.steveaoki.com/site/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/pole-balls.gif
I’m gonna bite, why does a EDM guy have that linked to his site?
I’ve always wanted to watch this movie for a second time, but I’m scared it hasn’t aged well
Connie sexie!
The home run derby replay is electric. Harper is a stud.
All that hot summer talk, no one dropped this in.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=SYnxGD-RtNM
Join the club.
Downside of playing Career Mode in a sports video game: you can’t play every position.
My Pitcher’s Batting Average: .392
Rest of Team’s BA Average: .250-ish
So the Reds are 500?
I have to say, I liked this TKO show when it didn’t have Kevin Hart and was called Wipeout. Also it had the Big Balls.
Bad news, DFOers: Tony Sparano has taken his football and gone off to the Big Rock Candy Mountain, where the rivers are made of gin and the lakes of hobo-stew.
http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/24166219/minnesota-vikings-o-line-coach-tony-sparano-dies-age-56
Vaya con Dios, Tony.
Somebody posted it……. but you had a better pun.
My daughter’s graduation party was today, (fuck you, this summer has been busy as hell), and we over-ordered on the pizza. I have probably 3-4 full pies left, to say nothing of salad, meatballs and mozzarella sticks.
Anyone hungry?
Lights bong, just leave em on the table.
(turns on TV; see Brad Garrett calling someone a bitch while being arrested for attempted rape)
Wow, USA Network. Are you trying to stain the memories of all the actors I know?
Sounds like the Lifetime version of ‘The Harvey Weinstein Story’
Well at least its not binoculars or a telescope.
If I went to restaurant mens room and I saw this, I would ask for the manager and then drown him or her in a toilet.
But he’d leave a great tip.
Well it turns out I need to go to the Netherlands for a couple of weeks. Its mainly to train up a steel mill on their new hardware. They are getting some fucking crazy top of the line shit. Its a big contract.
Most likely one of the last big contracts we will do because Trump’s new tariffs are killing my sector.
Have fun. We will be expecting a full report.
Just wait. Once the Dems take over, it’ll be back. Even a VP Pence may do it as a way to make peace with the NeverTrumpicans who support free business.
The Luke Cage music remains amazing. This Large Lad motherfucker is 19. Jump to about the 2 minute mark. Good lord.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hsm5W7o7vA
With Manziel finally and Alouettes player, expect TO to join him in 10 days
Oh goddamn it. They snuck Stephen A Smith into Luke Cage when I wasn’t mentally prepared for his idiocy on my TV.
I prescribe a minimum of 36 ounces of the alcohol of your choice. It’s you’re only hope of survival!
That’s not gone well…
(your wife’s face six weeks after giving birth and she’s allowed to have sex again)
with someone else.
My wife and I had a legendary weekend roughly six weeks after my daughter was born.
Legendary because we spent it in Hartford and still managed to have fun.
Roughly?
If they existing she would have busted her clit.
So…a mythbuster?
YUKON JOHNNY FF TO GET TRADED TO THE STRIP CLUB CAPITAL OF CANADA. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That’s gonna leave a mark. Or 12.
He needed some motivation for his running, get out of the regular routine, mix things up.
More importantly: MOOSE JAW IS GETTING A CFL TEAM!?!
My favorite line of that scene…
“This is some fucked up repugnant shit.”
For an amateur, that’s a pretty good running powerslam.
Tampa?
That’s a lot to give up for a guy who could be out of the CFL by the end of the season.
Als gon’ Als
Whut’s up, Ninjas? Yeah Right done and made me hungry. Or it might be the weed.
Imma go… Little Column A, Little Column B.
How the fuck is everyone doing today?
More importantly, how’s your little lady?
He is calling his penis his little lady now? Miss a day, miss a lot.
I had to change it. “Big Lady” scared everyone away.
It may be small, but at least it goes off quick.
She is currently asnooze about 15 feet behind me.
.
Damn, I wish weed didn’t make me nauseous.
When are shrooms and acid going legal?
Oil my friend. Mrs. Cola is an oil person for her back and IBS, she can’t smoke weed as it makes her nauseous.
Last time I tried edibles. Are oils better for my situation?
What’s the situation? Just nausea from smoking or something else?
The oils are awesome, although they give less of (and sometimes none at all depending on the person) a high. But they are pretty amazing for a lot of folks re: nagging little pains/conditions as litre already illustrated.
Some folks do get a mild high from them also, however.
Yeah, the nausea thing. I want to get high as fuck but not boot.
I’m here to offer confirmation on Senor’s observation: ghost peppers are really fucking hot guys!.
Jesus.
I haven’t drank 6 beers that fast since grade school.
Hold up for a sec. Is grilled watermelon better than fresh watermelon? I can’t believe this.
I think so. Fresh watermelon, while tasty is not a bold flavor. That watermelon salad was special.
Damn, I have no choice but to try it out now.
That salad looks and sounds spectacular!
For anyone else who went trough a newborn – do all Sundays just feel like Friday at 58 o’clock?
It’ll all get better in 18 or so years.
Yes.
Yes. Sleep becomes a mood.
It’s all about Global Warming, YeahRight.
Get it? GLO-BAL.
https://youtu.be/rR58heUGkNA
http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2018/07/22/vikings-offensive-line-coach-tony-sparano-dies-at-56/
Tony Sparano’s Football: “….”
Tony Sparano:“….”
…..and I only know about this guy from people talking about his cancer.
Fuck today
For the record, yes I do feel guilty that it took a human being’s death for me to come to this page. RIP big guy.
Also, I gotta start grilling more. That stuff looks good yeah right.
It was indeed. Thanks.
Think he’ll stand for the anthem at his funeral?
RIKKI: Hey, how did the dog get out?
DR. MRS. DEADLY: You left the gate open.
RIKKI: Well I’m sure I had a good reason.
“Look at those All Blacks running all over the field!”
-J. Richardson
I fell asleep on the couch while rugby was on. When I woke I felt like I was concussed. Bastards.
You missed a lot of great behinds.
The 2:05 pm start time in July for a dirtball game in Arlington, Tixus is dumb.
/spontaneously combusts
That’s be me in a couple of hours.
Maybe that’s be me now. Jebus.
In my defense, it is after noon.
Damn, I’m like 5 o’clock drunk and it’s many hours until then. If I see 8pm awake then tomorrow is going to blow.
Fuck it, time to rock
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfpgpf6QVnI&start_radio=1&list=RDvfpgpf6QVnI
Oh, so I’m rocking out alone? That’s fine! Just fine! I’m gonna rock my balls off by myself. Enjoy your boring Sunday night!
I wanna rock!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9AbeALNVkk
Alright, time to have a quick convo with the national suicide hotline.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgSPaXgAdzE
/Peyton Manning develops a raging boner
Two episodes into Luke Cage S2 and the best part so far is Gary Clark, Jr getting a huge chunk of episode 2 to play
I thought season 1 was pretty meh, with the exception of the musical acts.
Cage is more of a supporting character than a lead IMO.
I’ll get around to Cage S2 in the fall or winter
Someone named Molinari appears to have won the open. He’s either a delicious fried squid or Mozart’s rival.
Sherlock Holmes will eventually expose him for the fucking criminal he is!
One of these people served in the military.
Impeach. Prosecute. Hang.
There is no other acceptable roadmap.
I didn’t know you felt so strongly about the Queen
h
ttps://78.media.tumblr.com/cc424e84ac5809ab531c9bdf6752fad0/tumblr_oudea1jie51uwx9iuo1_1280.jpg
When I visited here the jesus guy was there but not the woman.
NSFDFO because TITS.
That’s a great pair
She genuinely seems like a nice person
The announcer for the U.S. game in Sevens sounds like Anderson Dawes from The Expanse.
Wedding season in Colorado…… love is in the air.
That’s some aggressive hot boxing.
Opening Lines of every SVU episode: “..the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies…”
Don’t think about separating a rape victim from a rape suspect so the ID doesn’t get tainted allowing the bad guy to get away from it.