So.. somebody may have dropped the ball. It was me. TO THE GAME!
Ravens/Bears: If you can find two more uninteresting teams in all of the sports I’d like you to tell me about them down below. Still, it’s THE FOOTBALL, baby! Massively muscled people you’ve never heard of might just suffer debilitating injuries! Will we see see a modicum of truth via a biscuit? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Warm milk being imbibed on the sideline. MAYBE!
Get after it, fellow addicts.
Open thread for Johnny Footbaw tomorrow?
http://files.explosm.net/comics/Dave/bluemoonnew2.gif?t=A6E31B
Game of the Week!
(I say he gets killed in the first series)
Grandma?
Did I ever tell y’all about the Mike Hunt story?
This is a family friendly site. But, please, go on.
Oh, it’s a perfectly family friendly story. It’s all about a man who was a product liason to my group at my last company. His name was Michael, but he went by Mike. His last name was Hunt. We had a meeting with some people from that company, and before the meeting the contact on our side was telling us all about the company and their representative, Mr. Mike Hunt. We may have found his name humorous, but one of our colleagues, who was particularly susceptible to this sort of humor was not present at what you might call the forewarning. So in the middle of the meeting, when they had given their initial pitch, and the guy on our side was responding with “So where does this put Mike Hunt? Will we still be interacting with Mike Hunt?” we were all able to keep our shit together while she busted out laughing, creating a wonderful moment for us, and a rather awkward moment for Mike Hunt’s coworkers.
As college professor, I’ve had and seen my very fair share of weird names, but, I can’t think of any to this degree. These are names that are largely impressionable or simply inane.
That said, I went to high school with a Harold Cox. Think about that name for a bit.
I went to college with a Mike Rosh, and he had no idea his name was a joke name. And he LOVED joke names.
Does this have anything to do with the Dickins Cider apple orchard?
This week in super-market tabloids:
George Clooney is divorcing Michael Jackson
Wow, Zombie MJ has aged way better than Clooney
the Star certainly picked the most complimentary photo.
She could lift some weights and eat a burger; doesn’t look healthy skinny to me.
She could also wear a dress not made out of a pink trash bag. Expensive != flattering
I’m sure it cost as much as a year of my car payments.
IT’S A BOY!!!!!
Congrats!
Congrats!
Congrats! Genitals are one of the few ways you can tell babies apart!
Good work letting lady Shogun do all the work!
Congrats!
Happy boy day!
Okay, so I’m looking at the imdb page for The Predator and this movie looks like fun on a bun.
Directed by this nerd:
RIP Hawkins
Well damn, had no idea the HOF game was tonight, but given past games probably didn’t miss anything. I’ll watch some of the highlights in the mirror at the gym tomorrow morning, and they’ll be just as good late and backwards. (And yes, that IS what she said)
So if your given name is “Richard Swett” you gotta embrace it and go with “Dick Swett”, right? You can’t hide from that shit.
I think it might depend on your middle initial. Dick E. Swett is good stuff,
Dick O. Swett is also a winner
I think it’s all vowels. Can you do better than Dick U. Swett?
Nope. But I like Dick A. Swett too.
Dick B. Swett finishes in the money too. There really are no losers here.
Personally I’m a fan of Dick I. Swett
I think that would make for the most interesting story to have to tell at parties:
Just finished playing a doubleheader did i miss some hot Lamar Jackson action?
I think you meant “Jacktion”
He shall now be named Jacktion going forward. Balls add t to the sheet of DFOisms
OK pretend NFL done for the night. Time foar the Snowfall catchup binge type thingy.
Snowfall? In summer?
i watched the whole thing. Feels hollow.
Joe Flacco believes tonight proved him right about the Ravens drafting another QB, and he’s celebrating with a glass of chocolate milk.
He thinks it’s the blood of a vanquished Lamar Jackson.
Really you throw flags for everything but not that!?
Pros of visiting the hall of fame: it’s a legtimatley cool place to visit.
Cons: not only is it in ohio, its far enough south that it feels out of the way of you have to go through the state for any other reason.
Pro: giant photo of walter payton on the side
Con: theres a bunch of Tom brady propaganda around, even though he doesn’t actually own that many records.
My mom has family in Canton. They’re MAGAs. We never talk to them.
With that sweet P*ts money, he should have a better collection by now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MglOE24EAuw
I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to the hall as a child. I cannot imagine going back ever again.
Missed it. Did the Bears miss a PAT or a 2PT?
Dos
Alright, so the Bears just need a rouge to get to overtime.
Fajitas are a stunt food. It’s all about that goddam sizzling platter, which is really just a special effect.
stop eating at Applebees. We love you and want you to love yourself.
I am sure he loves himself which is why he cant have nice things
that’s exactly right
Andrea brings up a good point.
I really started watching football around the time moss and were drafted.
Never before can I remember a hall of fame class were I saw most of the guys play the entirety of their careers.
Fuck I’m getting old.
Screw that, im already old. I threw my back out typing this.
I feel like that old Robert Schimmel bit about throwing his back out when he jacks off.
New Proposed Rule: You can attempt a three point conversion from the 7 yard line and a four point conversion from the 15 yard line.
Okay, NOW go for two. Have a heart.
I want to apologize to Leighton Vander Esch. Tanner Gentry is the whitest name in the NFL.
Very glad they revoked his touched down. Cracker-ass muthafucka
I have a very small Facebook presence (mostly relatives) yet I just got a sponsored post for a funeral home cosmetologist in Inglewood CA who has holiday specials:
http://www.msddressingcasketing.com
I hear tell dying on Easter is a thang
GO FER TWO!!!
Well, when you do score, do this.
BLEERGH is in midseason form!
My strategy as an OC would be murder ball after murder ball. Go right down the field on penalties.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/wwe-wrestler-kane-elected-mayor-of-knox-county-tennessee/ar-BBLqAxb?ocid=spartanntp
He did it! The crazy son of a bitch did it!
Can XPac be Deputy Mayor?
Yes
How soon until all the Defense players go on strike?
Tomorrow.
Cowboys started years ago. They’re close to beating the Stardust strike.
Why do they keep saying “foul”? There’s no fouls in football! It’s a penalty.
They’re going to have to stop wearing helmets.
apparently the only way to play tackle footbaw SAFELY
No way! Bring back the leather helmets. Classic.
Antonio Cromartie played without a helmet. Not a good idea.
goddamnit, this rule
As i was saying. NFL is killing itself. We’re all that will remain. And when we are gone. It’s Pro FortNite Monday Night on ABC.
I’ll be ded, I have no sons other than cats.
You know Tony Dungy, when I say you’re an egotistical asshole, you’re not supposed to take it as a personal challenge
At last we’ve reached the hating-on-T.O. stage of the proceedings.
Let’s all scold Terrell Owens like he’s 8 years old! Unlike the murderer we fellated all night.
me tuning in, immediately see the bears go 3 and out
Sounds about right
Seriously, Tyler Fucking Bray is still in the league?
Bray? Ass.
I mean, Jeebus, didya see THAT throw? You or I could make that.
I have no clue who the fuck that is, but that is the most mediocre name in recent memory
*screaming internally*
I’mma dream about the bloodletting again.
If I ever heard a co-worker say any of these things I’d call in the next day because they are absolutely about to do a shooting.
Thankfully, we’d all know who the target will be.
and the funny thing is…the entire premise of capitalism is supposed to be people acting out of self-interest
/I guess except for workers, is what the MODERN capitalist thinks? Oh what a burden it is to have moneys and all this dreadful responsibility and white man’s burden.
Oh it is about self-interest and always has been–it’s just that the self-interest of some matter a lot more than the self-interest of others.
the irony of their own Animal Farm moment
I’d say “imagine working for this boss” but I think I actually have.
I’m sure he avidly describes himself as a Bible-believing Christian. And thought leader.
Hey! Kevin White made it through a game without getting hurt!
Of course, I don’t think he played a snap, but still, baby steps!
Literally, any bigger steps and his legs will self-amputate at the knee.
Please don’t use the word “snap” around Kevin White.
It’s gettin it’s gettin it’s gettin kinda hectic (ppl forget that)
/drafts #83 in fantasy
//loses all the games
Oh bloody hell!!!! I forgot all about FF.
We gotta do that shit again this year or what?
u even has 2 ask, ninja??
Yeah, but evahbodeh in that league hates me now, and I didn’t even win. It’s just because I’m a huge dickhole.
Sad, but true.
Fuck I still need to write my column.
From fucking December.
…
?itemid=7347076