Your “It’s Starting To Take Shape” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:  

  • OBJ got paid! A five year, $95 million extension to his current deal.
    • When tacked on, it’s actually a new deal that covers six years and has a base value of $98.459 million, or $16.4 per year.
  • Four months after trading for him, the Raiders have sent Ryan Switzer to the Steelers.
    • Along with a sixth-round pick.
    • All the Steelers had to give up was a 2019 fifth-rounder.
  • The Jags are down a receiver, as Marqise Lee is done for the year with a knee injury.
    • He was low-tackled in the game against the Falcons.
      • Jags players are blaming the new tackling rules, because they’ve “made people scared to tackle normal”, according to Jalen Ramsey.
    • When asked about adding a veteran receiver, Doug Marrone smiled & said nothing when someone brought up Dez Bryant.
  • Andrew Luck got his foot injured against the Niners on Saturday.
    • “He’d play if we were playing Sunday”, said Frank Reich, who reminded everyone Luck wasn’t scheduled for the fourth preseason game.
  • The Patriots plan to keep Dreamboat safer by inking Shaq Mason to an extension.
    • It’s five years & $50 million, so he’ll be around long after TAWMMY hits his retirement age of 45.

Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at Orioles – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • White Sox at Yankees – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Rockies at Angels – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • U.S. Open Tennis:
    • First Round – 6:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

GO FORTH AND COMMENTATE!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

I have been playing fantasy football since 2007. I am a dyed-in-the-wool Jest fan since 1976. This is the first season I have wanted to draft Jets. What I’m trying to say is we’re signing Khalil Mack and winning the fucking Super Bowl this year. This. Year. Im putting $100 on it, which is like $10,000 to you guys.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

I want some of whatever drugs you are taking.

Fronkenshteen

Ah, weed and beer. The usual suspects. We’d be lighting cigars with $100 bills if it hits. The ligaments of our enemies would need to rupture akimbo, but flesh heals. Easy, fast money is forever.

Brick Meathook

I like this man’s confidence. Get me Vegas on the phone, I’m betting it all on the Jets.

Fronkenshteen

So, Alex Collins: smart, forward thinking early round pick who will be Lamar!’s Zeke, or shitbag 2-down banger who will toil fruitlessly under Flaccunt?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Also, if anyone has a fetish for Asian flight attendants, I’d recommend getting to this hotel lobby asap

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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.

Fronkenshteen

Left! Left! Left! Left! Left! Left! Left!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

I am currently on a ‘locals’ deck in a tiny town in BC tethered to his phone so I can do a fantasy draft. I bought him a 12 pack of beer for this. I feel that is fair. His name is Gerry and he hates people but likes free beer.

Fronkenshteen

This comment contains everything that currently pleases me about the human condition.

Brick Meathook

You could develop a sitcom from it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

I would need a writing partner who would punch me when I stopped writing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

That’s hardcore

Spanky Datass

That’s alright, people hate Gerry as well; Circle of Hate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Despite Brick and Spam’s advice, I made it. But I hate when I check in for my return flight before the outbound takes off.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

I’m suing centurylink in small claims court tomorrow on account that they keep sending me marketing emails after I was on their do not solicit list.

I don’t think they hce any vehicle to completely scrub my email from their various marketing databases so my hope is they keep coming and, in a couple years, I can get a big McDonald’s hot coffee style punitive judgement in my favor.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll join in and we can make it a class action.
Assuming this msg even posts because CenturyLink sucks.

blaxabbath

I do absolutely fucking HATE CenturyLink.

I need to try yoga or cut out sugar or something.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They are a classy company; when my mom died my uncle and I were closing her account and we got hit by a hard sales routine, on the phone and through the mail. At least I ruined the phone guy’s week or hour.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If you don’t leave now, you may never make it out.

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. It’s the chances not taken which you’ll regret.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4pi1LxuDHc

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

I have a co-worker whose marriage didn’t work out. He had 2 kids with the woman and adopted two of hers which she brought into the marriage. She recently, completely unannounced, took all the kids and moved to NC to live with some guy in his parents’ basement. Today was the first day his kids went to school:

Him: “Oh man. My kids had their first day of school today and (let’s call him) Corey shit hisself on the bus on the way to school. His mom had to bring him clean clothes and shit.”

Me: “Fuck. That’s rough! How old is he?” (expecting an answer like ‘six’)

Him: “Thirteen”

Me: …

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She must be a great cook, hellava breakfast.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The other thread you were asking about Margot Robbie in movies. Well…..

h

ttp://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wgdkAA5A6uQ/Uy9BqqDT8bI/AAAAAAAAAsc/HDfvORxNHrw/s1600/MR-2.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

When did Jonny 2×4 get hair? And get whitewashed?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

People are weird.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

For the record, I had nothing to do with this.
Although I might have once shit meself on a bus in NC.

MY HOUSE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A BASEMENT SO STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!!!!!!!

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I’m kinda …. tired.

JustStopDude

How is it that the Raiders can still get people to show up to their shithole stadium, despite not really doing fuck all for the last ten years, having a shitty owner, and the team is getting moved…and yet the Chargers can’t.

I mean its two sides of the same shitty coin.

Brick Meathook

Chargers?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Of note: I will be attending CLE at OAK this year. I must see a game at the Colesium.

ANd if the A’s host a playoff game the night before, why that would be the tits.

Brick Meathook

That’s the last NFL stadium with a baseball diamond in the fall and I LOVE THAT. Too bad it doesn’t rain there enough.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

So CNN is running a story about an anime done by an Emirate woman. The main character is a girl that at night goes out and fight crimes.

Based on my experience of living and working in the UAE for a year, I imagine the crime fighter just savagely beats south Asian expat workers for protesting dangerous working conditions and lack of pay for their work.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She can kill people by throwing a confiscated passport.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I was ‘uhsposed to have had a conversation with my recent “ex” today and see if we still had anything, anything real that is, and if the relationship could be salvaged. Sadly, the talk didn’t happen.
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It still might happen, but I can’t lie…I was disappointed by the “convenient turn of events” which prevented if from happening today. And sadly, I can’t say I was surprised it didn’t happen.

Time to become celibate methinks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAOnUF8t20w

SonOfSpam

You want to spend eternity in intense pain to try to experience every sensations the universe has to offer?

Wait…that might be Cenobite, not celibate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve already said too much. Imma go hit the drums for a bit and then jerk off to Jaime Pressly sitcoms.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Stupid Sexy Shed.

Redshirt

If she wanted to save the relationship, she would’ve shown up or at least had a really great reason at the time of the no show.

Take your losses and bail.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah. That’s what I’m wrestling with right now.
Funniest thing is that she did at least text me and tell me why. Which is an improvement over others before her who couldn’t be bothered to talk to me or even admit to anyone that I exist in their lives when push came to shove.

But that doesn’t make it satisfactory.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

Here’s a delightful band where the singer’s appearance and voice do not match at all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gigZGc4KucE

theeWeeBabySeamus

I can’t disagree re: appearance vs voice and my own preconceived notions. But he still sounds good as hell. As does the band.
Thanks for sharing this.

SonOfSpam

Thanks for enjoying – a band like this needs moar fans.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

All I see is a large mixed race woman who is a good sing that can dance.

SonOfSpam

Rocky Mountain legal weed?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Guess I shoulda WATCHED the video.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Scratch mah belly!!!!!
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spanky Datass

.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Click here to start blocking pop-up ads” says the pop-up ad.

Brick Meathook

Sometimes you have to destroy the village in order to save it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

-William C. Westmoreland

Brick Meathook

Never trust a general who looks like a general; it’s probably the reason he got the job.

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SonOfSpam

Boy fucking howdy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I miss that show so much.

Senor Weaselo

“Or a major, for that matter.” -Capt. John Yossarian

theeWeeBabySeamus

Let’s sing some more songs. Mary J. Blige is a national treasure. Fuck you if you disagree….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpDQJnI4OhU

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fuck you for agreeing!

Wait a minute……

Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

A single tear falls down Mr. Walsh’s cheek.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is it wrong that I find this kinda sexy?

Errrrrr….HOW wrong is it that I find this kinda sexy? Yeah, that’s what I meant.

SonOfSpam

I think it’s the finish, and the potential activity from there.

theeWeeBabySeamus

She’ll be out of breath for at least two minutes and unable to move.

I’M GOING IN!!!!!!!!!!!

Brick Meathook

I gotta admit, it is kinda hot. I’m sure she’s 18 in whatever country she’s from.

SonOfSpam

Concussistan?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THIS needs to be a commonly used pun.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

She really sticks the landing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes; “kinda sexy”… you should be ROCK HARD.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“WTF?!?! WAAAAAAY to old.”

-Larry Nassar

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I went for the joke and it fucking depressed me; I hope that asshole gets some in prison, and by gets some I mean continually prison raped.

SonOfSpam

I believe he’s already been moved due to “abuse” so there’s that.

Game Time Decision

that’s a crappy spotter

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No; she left a spot.

Spur

When Manu ended Chris Bosh’s career

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLFMvlS9WFA&feature=youtu.be

theeWeeBabySeamus

I DIDN’T DO IT!!!!!
At least as far as I can remember. I drink a lot these days tho, so it’s 50/50 at best.
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Mr. Ayo

You bastard!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, don’t call my kids that. They’re gon’ make me rich…ish.
And plus, after she gets her figure back, I got this to look forward to…

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/calls the “My Name Is Earl” people

WHERE’S MY FUCKING CHECK?????????

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Re: McCain, I’m just gonna leave this here and suggest it’s worth reading:

https://twitter.com/drvox/status/1034132463289683970?s=19

SonOfSpam

I’ll add that I spoke with my mother right after they announced his death, and she was saying the usual “great man” stuff, so I demurred with something like “eh, not really” and her example of his being a decent person was when he told some idiot that “no, Obama’s a decent man, not an Arab” or whatever it was. And it’s like…that’s the very very least he should’ve said, especially since his campaign was very much driving the “otherness” narrative about Obama. But if you’re in today’s GOP, doing the very least decent thing makes you an outlier.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I should not look at responses, but I liked this one: “I don’t see why all this praise of McCain’s virtues upsets you. What more appropriate tribute could there be than empty talk?”

ArmedandHammered

So my wife, who does not watch football games, wanted to watch the first episode of this season’s Hard Knocks. In the middle of one of the meetings the coaches had, she turned to me and said “Those two are the biggest douchebags I have ever seen.” Of course she was talking about Greggggggg and Boss Todd, other than marrying me, she has a good eye.

blaxabbath

She hot?

ArmedandHammered

I certainly think so.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What’s the deal with this marine layer screwing up my flight to SF?

SonOfSpam

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is that what “open cockpit biplane” is a euphemism for?

SonOfSpam

I doubt there’s anything bi about that plane.

Brick Meathook

How is it screwing it up? Are you in an open-cockpit biplane?

theeWeeBabySeamus

If they let him go to SF, then that’s the tragedy.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

They have us grounded on the tarmac at LAX. Said the marine layer has cut their runway availability in half, so they hold close flights until visibility improves or they can space out the ones in the air more. Sounds like horseshit to me either way.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep, sounds like horseshit over here. This is a Piper Cub, btw….
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Brick Meathook

It is horseshit. The pilots are getting high. Go up and bang on the cockpit door and tell them to quit fucking around.

SonOfSpam

If they don’t answer, tell ’em you got a box cutter if they need it.

Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

Hopefully it was just the tip plate.

Brick Meathook

That kid up there is my second-favorite fiddler. Here’s the best one:
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Brick Meathook

That monkey is really feelin’ it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Spiderman fails at music.

The Maestro

Howdy, folks. I have one space in my fantasy league available if someone’s interested… it’s predominantly me and some college buddies and various acquaintances, but blaxabbath is also a member. $25 CAD buy-in, 10-team standard rules. Winner gets $225, 2nd place gets their money back. Let me know – I’d like to finalize draft details. Thanks – you know how to find me.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I presume it’s the same way to find any Canadiens; just pop into the nearest Tim Hortons and ask for directions to your house.

Game Time Decision

Timmies sucks

Spur

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herodotus450

Do you think people who use the word “upcycle” were abused as children or are they just plain ol’ morans?

Brick Meathook

Today I started a new project that I’m not allowed to talk about for a client I’m not allowed to name at a place I’m not allowed to disclose, so don’t ask me about it.

herodotus450

[continues ignoring Brick]

King Hippo

Are we finally Nuking the Whales??

theeWeeBabySeamus

If it’s about Jaime Pressly, in your bedroom, Imma be really pissed off.
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Brick Meathook

she says “hi”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe….somehow I doubt that. But tell her I say “Hi”. She’ll know what it means.
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Brick Meathook

You’re right, she didn’t say “hi.” My dick is in her mouth.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO. That’s making me laugh on what was otherwise a really shitty day.
Imma buy you so many beers next time I’m in town.

Spur

Cataloging Harvey Weinstein private video collection for the lawsuits.

Redshirt

Congratulations on becoming a male escort?

yeah right

I’m at Red Rocks! Nobody told me you have to climb the fucking Rockies by stairs to get here.
Holy fuck this place is amazing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice. I’ve got some awesome photos from there two years ago. I need to find them.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Let’s get drunk and sing some songs….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5FPPoLqkCk

herodotus450

somethiing something trump at half mast something something

blaxabbath

“Half mast AT BEST… and that’s only if Shark Week was on.” -Stormy Daniels

Spur
Spur

Folks. is the Ghost Adventures live blog?

herodotus450
Redshirt
Redshirt

I missed the Saturday night thread when John McCain passed away. I saw you were all respectful in your tributes (or as respectful as you can get without losing your lunch or self-respect), mine is he served his nation in war and in peace. He was a Republican, but unlike other Republicans he was humble and respectful. You may disagree with his political views but you cannot disagree that he tried to do what he felt was the right thing.

Although I am in complete agreement with you about him unleashing Sarah Palin on the world, which set into motions the current state of the world. And also, it was Lisa Ann who was porn Sarah Palin, not Julia Ann. If anything, I thought you guys would know your porn stars.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I actually have to agree with this. I certainly did not agree with everything “McCainy”. But I think he followed what he believed to be right, whether I agree or not. I can respect that. And he was much better than a lot of folks on both sides of the aisle.

Wakezilla

I’ll leave you with this:

One of the many money shots from the link “according to a survey by FiveThirtyEight, has voted in line with President Donald Trump — a leader with whom he pretends to disagree — 90.7 percent of the time”

https://static.theintercept.com/amp/john-mccain-fake-maverick-horrible-record.html?__twitter_impression=true

Redshirt

Yeah, I figured that. I was going to say that while he called himself a “Maverick” his actions spoke louder than his words, but you know “Don’t speak ill of the dead”.

That’s probably the reason why he lost the ’00 primary to W and the ’08 election to Obama. When in doubt, the undecided voters tend to go to the most genuine person.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Honestly, and trust me I lean left…. but if we’re gonna start blaming politicians for calling out their “competitors”, and maybe in a not so tactful way….

Well, it’s gonna be a long night.

I was less than a year old when he was shot down over Hanoi. I respect the man.
https://www.businessinsider.com/john-mccain-refused-early-release-as-a-pow-in-vietnam-2018-8

theeWeeBabySeamus

His voting record aligning with DJT is irrelevant.
Simply disagreeing with Trump across the board does not a good politician make. They’re in the same party…sort of. Of course their votes are gonna line up.

Redshirt

Screw the night, if we’re holding politicians accountable, we’ll be here till the turn of the decade.

Also yes his voting record will be similar (he’s still a Republican, just not as extreme). Most of the differences would be behind the scenes trying to influence and win over other Republicans. If Trump was a normal President, this is where it would end and we wouldn’t know how rivals they were. In public they’d be friends, in private they’d be at each other throats.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Trump’s problem is less about his politics than about his lack of diplomacy.

But I’m done talking about this. There’s a reason I don’t talk politics.

Redshirt

Agreed. We need football.

Wakezilla

Trump’s problem isn’t his politics. It’s the fact he doesn’t sugar coat that America isn’t exactly the good guy that people think it is.

Wakezilla

Trump IS a normal president. Tax cuts for the rich, bombing the global south, hates poor people, unconditional support for Israel.

Brick Meathook

That 10% differential among Republicans is huge.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn right.

Spur

Looking back Palin was watching Russia from her backyard. She tried to warn us. WE DIDN’T LISTEN

King Hippo

Holy shitsnacks, I go 90% off the grid for 2.5 days, and Pac-Man is a fucking Donk? I mean, do I just say chuh chuh and move on, or do I get all high and mighty about this is NAWT how u replace Two of the Good Ones smh.

Senor Weaselo

The Good One to CHUH exchange is 1:1, clearly.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

That’s funny, I thought “high and mighty” was your usual state of mind.

King Hippo

/remembers Tussionex bottle in the safe

//home sweet home

theeWeeBabySeamus

High and mighty whitey

FTFY

Wakezilla

Teenzilla, my very at risk nephew, hr has been doing a great job turning shit around since I moved to Calgary in late March. I got him in badminton (finished 2nd in the city), got mostly C’s and B’s, and got him into flag football. Everything was going great until my dipshit brother in law verbally and physically abused him to the point he now has a restraining order against him.

Big picture, this is a blessing in disguise as his father is toxic. Small picture, this poor kid is hurting and hasn’t really been home since shit went down on Saturday.

King Hippo

You want the more fucked up of my twin teenagers?

herodotus450

This is how porn careers get started.

King Hippo

ah didn’t say he could have BOTH

Spur
Wakezilla

Nah, I’m good

ballsofsteelandfury

Holy shit, I’m watching Fox Sports’ College Football preview show and I just realized Herm Fucking Edwards is the coach at ASU!!

They’re more fucked than an ASU coed during Rush Week.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ah my old bike route.
Good times.

ballsofsteelandfury

I visited ASU in high school when I was choosing which colleges to apply to. I decided I couldn’t apply there because I would have never graduated.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You’d have ended up in the Tempe St. Luke’s emergency room within hours.

(I’ve spent hours there myself, actually, but for much different reasons)

King Hippo

you play to win teh game!!!

Redshirt

I’m back from Chicago without doing or saying something stupid that would get me killed. Please settle your bets accordingly.

Seriously, I had a nice time. The traffic was horrifically bad, but I blame that on the Bears game (my fault for not doing research on what was happening on the route I was going). I handled it like a pro, but my poor dad probably lost six months of his life. And he thought he’d have to take over.

Wrigley Field was great. Everyone should go at least once. At that’s with my team not bothering to show up (9-0, three hits, only touched 2nd base in the ninth inning – in retrospect that sounds a lot like my life).

We didn’t get a chance to check out the city (Dad started to get chest pains and he forgot his nitro pills – he’s okay – he just did too much walking), but it was definitely a culture shock from this Cincinnati suburbanite to see what a real city looked like.

Finally I was impressed by the politeness of the native Chicagoans. Everyone was very nice to us (even after I switched to my Reds shirt). The closest I had to meaniness was the person who allowed me to park in his driveway after screwing me raw over the price seemed curt, but I quickly realized he was trying to help and Cincinnati curtness may be the same as Chicago directness.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Chicago folk, one at a time, are generally good folk. It’s the city that sucks. And then when you get the people in a group they tend to….well….

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King Hippo

you can NEVAR!!!

– Karen C.

King Hippo

They really are delightful people, even despite having to drive in that shit every day. And endure those winters. And suffer through those sportsball seasons.