I’ve had a shit-ton of fun today and it’s all your fault. I hope you’re happy… just like me. Beers and scotch have been consumed, games have been watched. The Giants squandered opportunities against a superior team. The Pats did what they always do. Them Brownies (as of my typing) are hanging tough in OT. The Bucs and Saints had a wild one. All in all, not a bad day for us NFL addicts. But Wait! There’s More! Some fellas from the great Midwest are butting helmets! (Illegal tackle, penalty is… uh, 5 yards and a first down? Help me out over here ) Shall we dive in? Let’s. TO THE GAME!
Bears/Packers:
That guy that can win games single-handedly (see Green Bay/Dallas last year) is back! He SMRT as all get-out, trust me on this. I’m curious how JAY-GRAY will do here-after all, there haven’t been many te’s that have gone off big time with Rodgers at the helm. But hell, the guy did play basketball at some point and according to announcers everywhere, that counts for… something. The biggest story this week in Chicago that doesn’t involve the word ‘gun death’ is the signing of a certain Khalil Mack. Not sure how much we’ll see of him ce soir but I’m guessing he’ll be involved in a few specific pass rushing packages. I’ll admit-I’m a bit curious about Truth Biscuit’s progress over the off-season. He seems to be yet anudder fella with all the physical skills and not one of the intangibles that tend to separate the wheat from the chaff quarterback-wise.
Enjoy.
Uh oh spagettios!!!!
Packers are bad again.
Rodgers…ded?
A.A. Ron borken?
Rogers ded?
Ohhhhhhh shit
Uh oh.
Mack having a ripple effect. KILL RODGERS!
And he’s hurt!
Remind me never to piss you off.
I’m going to build a man sized microwave, wrap Colinsworth in aluminum foil, and bake that motherfucker until his eyes burst
I’ll contribute to your kickstarter!
Oh, you don’t need to build a man-sized one…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peW2aWxt69M
rush to the line and snap it!
That’s a very generous spot of the ball to gb there
we have a narrative to meet
I think I just inadvertently went down a pretty scary rabbit hole
Its only scary if you unzip your fly.
What if you’re not wearing pants?
Good point. Hand into boxers, I guess.
Do they make oven mitts that fit on bears?
Which right-wing evangelical pastor ghost writes this series?
Pence?
Admit it, you meant to.
Look rogers, i drafted you in my waste of time fantasy league – quit dicking around. (Sorry)
what’s that, 1 first down in 3 drives?
There are more penalties in three drives than there are first downs.
NFL EXCITEMENT! CATCH IT!
You know, I’m trying to refrain from immature “lolz, Aaron Rodgers is gay!” Jokes…..
But it doesn’t help that Colinsworth so clearly wants to suck the guy’s dick
I believe the prison bylaws clearly state that the receiver is not gay, only the giver.
“Ain’t nothin’ gay about gettin’ yo dick sucked!” – Every episode of Oz
Wouldn’t that make Collinsworth gay?
Yes, and that’s an insult to gay people.
Depends on if Rodgers is on his Hypothetical List.
He is a huge giant dick
@Hippo, Are we getting Instant Hippo Thoughts tomorrow morning?
yup
Sweeeeet
THIS ED HELMS, I CALL HIM A HOOVER VACUUM CLEANER, BECAUSE HE CAN SUCK AND BLOW AT THE FLICK OF A SWITCH
More commercials! This is GREAT!!!!1! *gunshot*
I just got back from dinner and I have no idea if the Cowboys won. We sat in the bar area, where the one TV was on the US Open. Two guys were intently watching, so I didn’t bother to ask to change it. I just said “sounds like steam escaping”, and went about my business.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMK6lzmSk2o
Bear points
Browns – Steelers tie – I laughed so hard my balls fell out of my sac
How many kids you got? Cuz that might be a good thing
There are 3 Fozz Spawn and I got clipped last year. Fun fact: part of my Vans Deferens popped out during the incision and hit the floor.
If the Bears ARE good this season, I’m gonna post SO MANY SEXY BEAR PICS
Big Sexy Bears.
Yeah, this won’t go off the rails AT ALL!!!!!
YES!! LMAO
I want mitch………
Photoshopped onto this picture.
What did you think I meant?
Already plenty of mitch photoshops out there
Fuck you hahaha
Finally dried out after that soaking day at the Ravens game. At least the rain cut down on the stray bullets.
The purple camo didnt help you blend into your surroundings?
Good job! For a second after the win, I thought the Bengals would have a fighting chance on Thursday.
Then I saw a recap of your systematic murder of the Bills. Nicely done!
Rams, Jags, and Bears y’all
Just saw a thing from Sarah Sprague about them wiping out the KSK posts. God, fuck those fucks.
I actually had no idea that hadn’t happened already
The internet is indeed an archive that eats itself.
I was looking for fantasy team name ideas the other day and none of Ape’s old posts were accessible.
same, I don’t go back
There’s always the Wayback machine. You can’t kill anything posted on the internet
Wait, where they still there? I tried to look for 1 orn2 but couldnt
As recently as last spring, I could find the old Marmalard dialogues, though they’d be stripped of images.
Actually, some of it apparently still exists depending on the author? PFT Commenter’s shit is still there.
Now that I think of it, I bet there’s some bullshit about holding anything they think could get them those sweet, sweet ad views.
lol, all of his authored posts were recategorized under the “viral” category, even obvious KSK weeklies, so yeah, cynical numbers bullshit.
https://uproxx.com/viral/ksk-mock-draft-guitar-solos/
That makes sense. They need room on their servers for click bait.
Honestly, if it wasn’t for the Pro Wrestling Open Threads, I wouldn’t venture to that site.
I gave up on the open threads quite some time ago. I still read the best and worsts from time to time, but honestly, that’s been just drilled into the ground at this point and it’s all kind of the same thing
Yeah, but that’s the quality of the show. When its bad, it sucks, when its good, its amazing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXTOH9jhbOg
Oh man we got slimmer balder Andy Reid here
Andy Reid protege, 2 timeouts used before the 1st quarter ends
Bad timeout is bad.
I’m reserving judgement until the end of the 3rd Q, at which point I will draw wild conclusions about the rest of the season
Okay he fucked up that one
Prediction – lots and lots of post-game BlueBunny
He’s going to be hiding in his truck downing a box of Drumsticks.
GIVE THE BALL TO HOWARD
I AGREE!!!!!
Are Bears very, beary good or are Packers very, very bad?
think you are looking at 11-5 and 8-8
fuck, that was an actual great throw
Yeah, I’m scared. I don’t think the NFC was ready for a good Bears team.
…dude….
……DUDE!!!!
DUDE!
Is uhh Truth Biscuit actually throwing really accurate balls or am I delirious?
Matt Nagy may be a wizard
…..DUDE!!!!!!
Oh Jesus they get Allen Robinson from 3 years ago too? ALL HAIL KING NOSTRAPPOTAMUS!!!!
what a catch!
How do you blow the doors off an interview?
c4?
suicide bomber?
Is this a continuation of the office fantasy pics?
“What would you say your weaknesses are”
“I care too much”
“I just can’t let something go until I’ve perfected it”
‘Some people say I’m too focused on business”
“I hang around on the internet with a bunch of drunken dick-jokers, some of whom may or may not actually exist”
“Alcohol, busty, sleazy, easy women, and cookies-n-cream ice cream.”
Biskycannon
maybe someone’s been QB whispering to him this off-season
now, we know Rodgers is the king of making adjustments
Yeah, no shit that was holding.
yep and Rodgers bitched about.
Thinking: Should I make a Serena Williams joke? No, you don’t know about the match or if the stories about girls being treated differently from guys. Don’t say anything.
Damn it, guys! I don’t like this self-control and disgression. As a American, I have the right to comment about things I know nothing about.
They’ve gotten to you!
(artistic impression)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9O1GLZ-mYsI
Not sure how I’ll feel if the Bears turn out to be good the first year after moving. I suspect I don’t actually care.
Dok turned into Jay Cutler so apathetically that I barely even noticed.
She’s probably got measles, too.
Maybe the uniforms and gear were delivered to the wrong locker rooms?
Incredibly obvious holding call
There wasn’t a flag for sacking Rodgers?