I’ve had a shit-ton of fun today and it’s all your fault. I hope you’re happy… just like me. Beers and scotch have been consumed, games have been watched. The Giants squandered opportunities against a superior team. The Pats did what they always do. Them Brownies (as of my typing) are hanging tough in OT. The Bucs and Saints had a wild one. All in all, not a bad day for us NFL addicts. But Wait! There’s More! Some fellas from the great Midwest are butting helmets! (Illegal tackle, penalty is… uh, 5 yards and a first down? Help me out over here ) Shall we dive in? Let’s. TO THE GAME!
Bears/Packers:
That guy that can win games single-handedly (see Green Bay/Dallas last year) is back! He SMRT as all get-out, trust me on this. I’m curious how JAY-GRAY will do here-after all, there haven’t been many te’s that have gone off big time with Rodgers at the helm. But hell, the guy did play basketball at some point and according to announcers everywhere, that counts for… something. The biggest story this week in Chicago that doesn’t involve the word ‘gun death’ is the signing of a certain Khalil Mack. Not sure how much we’ll see of him ce soir but I’m guessing he’ll be involved in a few specific pass rushing packages. I’ll admit-I’m a bit curious about Truth Biscuit’s progress over the off-season. He seems to be yet anudder fella with all the physical skills and not one of the intangibles that tend to separate the wheat from the chaff quarterback-wise.
Enjoy.
Here ya go, a non-man sexy bear
?w=640
Don’t ruin this with a fucking Ditka cosplay shithead
Lo verily did the hearts of many a cheesehead explode tonight.
Well, that’s every night.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UWq26V01po
“Pfft, whatever …” — J. Gruden
The Packers are like the guy that stole Edward Norton’s TV…
How do you get Bearistocrat! jism out of a keyboard?
/asking for some imaginary friends
Gruden may be fired before his first game.
YES YES YES
Mack attack
/pickerception
Is busy all day being outdoors and shit and barely watches earlier games
Has people over for dinner and doesn’t have time to tune in until now
Checks phone with breaking news while turning on the TV just now
YO WHAT THE FUCK AARON RODGERS DIED AGAIN AND I LITERALLY JUST FOUND OUT
That’s some quality Raiders GMing in action right there.
That trade was one of Al Davis Horcruxes
Hahahaha
Like a Mack truck, even
lulz
Holy shit
lol
Big Mack Attack
Take. A. Knee. For the love of Christ.
THEY DIDN’T BLOCK MACK, WHAT YOU DOIN GREEN BAY
this 1st half
With Kizer: 0-16
Without Kizer: 0-0-16 (projected finish)
Obviously Kizer was the weak link of the 2017 Browns.
Oh my
Roquan!!
AH! Good he’s walking off. That’s looked bad at first glance.
I actually didn’t realize they could gift a timeout. Huh.
I think GB called timeout, but the Bears had a hurt player.
This game needs more injuries.
And commercial breaks.
ouch
well, at least CHi**** has no timeouts left, GB can run the half (mostly) out
Holy shit! Its the 2nd quarter?!
least popular person in green bay right now
What is the Healing Power of her handjobs? Should someone on the Packer staff be putting a call into Lindsey Vonn?
She’s a two hander at least. That’s a good sign.
That was exactly 12 seconds of play between commercials. We are so being ripped off
There’s zero chance those two weren’t born in the same DNA tank
Watching the Green Bay fans cry softens the blow for the upcoming shitty Cowboy season.
buttery tears
They’re crying curds of woe.
Wow blatant PI there
I’m hearing that the state of Wisconsin has passed an emergency declaration suspending all DUI laws FOAR the next 24 hours. Tell all ur friends!
epic!
Hey guys, watching some baseball. So, how’s my FF QB, Aaron Rodgers doing out there? I see him trending on twitter, so I’m thinking 3-4 TDs and a couple hundred yards passing. Am I right?
Let me put it this way…….
If he were my qb…. I’d be writing about it in fantasy gods
hey man, I lost Deshaun Watson last year (when he was single-handedly winning games for me), replaced him off waivers and still won it all (Baby Buster). Waiver wire is the measure of the imaginary man or woman.
Nah, I got Handsome Jimmy G and Baker “Mayhem” Mayfield on my bench, so I’m all good.
/Also I do not care
This half has been ALL BEARS
Yup! There’s a magazine it seems!
Great, really great. No really that’s….great news.
/drinks moar
Oh honey, I haven’t even gotten to the bathhouse ads yet
I implore you, please don’t.
this will only get MOAR one-sided, Dok, so drink up and turn off safe search!!
I suspect no one will follow any NSFW links I post 😛
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvpV9tlHsT8
Santa? Is that you????
So why did the Raiders get rid of Mack again?
Jon Gruden’s ego
So Gruden can finish 4-12 for 10 straight years for 100 million dollars
They hate winning?
Mack might be worth that salary.
No reason to not end this game now.
So…the Raiders are dum-dums, but what FLAVOR of dum-dum?
Toilet wine
Spider 2Y Banana
Embalming fluid flavored
Purple monkey dishwasher
/obligatory
Ummmm… That was just sad.
Lovely gift to Mack
Yeah, the Raiders made the right choice by getting rid of Mack. He’s a bum.
Mack took that football and wanted to go home.