I’ve had a shit-ton of fun today and it’s all your fault. I hope you’re happy… just like me. Beers and scotch have been consumed, games have been watched. The Giants squandered opportunities against a superior team. The Pats did what they always do. Them Brownies (as of my typing) are hanging tough in OT. The Bucs and Saints had a wild one. All in all, not a bad day for us NFL addicts. But Wait! There’s More! Some fellas from the great Midwest are butting helmets! (Illegal tackle, penalty is… uh, 5 yards and a first down? Help me out over here ) Shall we dive in? Let’s. TO THE GAME!
Bears/Packers:
That guy that can win games single-handedly (see Green Bay/Dallas last year) is back! He SMRT as all get-out, trust me on this. I’m curious how JAY-GRAY will do here-after all, there haven’t been many te’s that have gone off big time with Rodgers at the helm. But hell, the guy did play basketball at some point and according to announcers everywhere, that counts for… something. The biggest story this week in Chicago that doesn’t involve the word ‘gun death’ is the signing of a certain Khalil Mack. Not sure how much we’ll see of him ce soir but I’m guessing he’ll be involved in a few specific pass rushing packages. I’ll admit-I’m a bit curious about Truth Biscuit’s progress over the off-season. He seems to be yet anudder fella with all the physical skills and not one of the intangibles that tend to separate the wheat from the chaff quarterback-wise.
Enjoy.
Shall we have a quickie pool on when A.A. Ron’s leg falls all the way off?
to the bone!
Sign me the fuck up!
Bears can smell fear! He’s weakened! Finish him off Mack! FINISH HIM!!
The Packers should really focus on their run game, specifically Williams. Also, kick some field goals.
Rodgers…not dead
Bears defense greeting Rodgers
hurry up and score. i want to the see the Bears defense maul a quarterback.
Hey look an ineffective wildcat, it’s like 2012 all over again.
I say Pat White agrees, but, he currently doesn’t know what planet he’s on.
Sorry for my rudeness. Gentlemen.
/belches so loudly the window rattles
Evenin’ guvnor!
Nice move by Tarik Cohen. He’s the shiftiest Jew this side of Roy Moore’s lawyer.
ah mean, hiding behind all that blackface!
I’m as giddy as a Catholic priest at a catechism.
I’m not sure these new helmets will help prevent CTE…
Clay Matthews: Still useless
But the hair….
and the pure Aryan blood!
He looks like an extra in Mississippi Burning
The creepy, creepy hair…
Its 0-17. The Bears defense is so good, its scary. #52 might actually be a shaved bear.
If Rodgers can play, he starts Week 2. Not this one. Its not a playoff game. Its Week 1.
uh huh, McCarthy is a dumbass if he puts A.A. Ron in
If?!?
ok, this would be a tremendously dumbfuckery ACTION
THE WILLIS REED PLAYBOOK
Told you Rodgers was fine. The next time the Bears touch him it’s a flag.
Playing Rogers seems like a bad idea
Yes, Ginger is past her prime.
Rodgers being injured for season is perfect excuse for the Beev he can just blame the trainers.
The Packer fans on Reddit are packing it in for the night.
“Well, let’s go see what QAnon says about tomorrow’s Obama arrest.”
The Thursday Bengals-Ravens game is for FIRST PLACE.
Kinda feels like 19-6 right?
I just want it to be close. I can take a close loss.
That’s the # of injuries and dirty plays right?
Moar like people watching in each city.
HOW THE FUCK YA DOIN BOYS???
AND ZYMMS???
JerBear!
Hola balls.
Heh. That actually wasn’t because you’re messican, but I guess it worked out that way.
Si!
Hey!!
Hey man. Good to see you’re back around too.
Aight
How do JerBear?
Hey there chef right
Shit, I just realized…if A-Rod’s got a bum knee, the Green Bay Parks and Rec bathroom scene is about to get a lot less interesting.
Moar MouseRat pleaz.
Peter King is on suicide watch.
If only…
For Peter King “suicide” just means mixing all seven wheat beers in his fridge.
I mean, sure I’d watch. But none of this MAYBE shit
People are leaving at halftime? What, are they playing the game in LA?
Hehehehehe
Thank you to Lakefront Brewery for their brandy barrel aged pumpkin ale, currently the best in the category of Wisconsin Beer or Football Team.
Bengals win, story is all about Andrew Luck’s return.
Yeah, screw you too, NBC.
You know when you see the score that you KNOW just beat you that week in fantasy, even if it’s in the first half of the 1:00 games?
Flacco to Crabtree.
This halftime was needed. If the Bears fans didn’t get a half hour to rest and rehydrate, they may surfer from la mort d’amour.
“Bears all over the Packers”
Pretty sure I saw that on a theater marquee the last time I was in Key West.
A poor man’s Stiffler is no man at all.
Chicago Sidewalk Masturbator
Im loving this. Cris is about to burst into tears.
Get Fucked Green Bay!
As they carted Rodgers off, you could hear his penis going inside his body like a frightened turtle.
Chicago Tax Assessor
Chicago Transit Authority?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt6qQHNSozk&list=PLWnVxuqvY7JhVvW831x9XyhMry0ZaCkxs
Chicago Sanitation
Welp, halftime. Time to check in on the Titans/Dolphins game.
They’re in a locust delay.
Bears offense pretty meh after those first two scoring drives, though
But if Mack can be like that they don’t have to score much this year
Again, thanks Gruden
TruthBiscuit for MVP.
That’s a very good bear.
I’m rooting for it.
Didn’t someone tell Gruden that the Raiders are already set to move? He doesn’t need to throw the season to move to the desert.
They don’t need Mack. They got that other guy. Jimmy something.
Raiders front office currently on thirty-one phones trying to find out what Derek Carr could do for some other team.
The Bears may be playing but it looks like Green Bay may be going back into another ’70s-’80s hibernation
Are we certain it’s Gruden’s fault and not Bowl Cut for not wanting to spend?
They wont break up until an argument of PF Chang’s vs Hooters
I’m so fucking happy that I’m gonna test the limits of this site’s decency guidelines
All good!
moar like Tifa Lockhard
Green Bay will be fine; Mike McCarthy will draw up a few dynamic offensive plays and everything will be as good as new!
/Green Bay runs 17 straight FB dives
Welp….
Blue Bunny truck backing up to the home locker room at Lambeau right now.
“No! Don’t go!! Take me with you!”
So, this performance by Mack; a big “Fuck You” to Gruden, or the BIGGEST “Fuck You!” to Gruden?
I’m loving it like McDonald’s.
Raiders are fucking stupid.
I thought I had put away my bears swag for at least a decade or so
thank you, based gruden
So… Bears…
…
…
…
…
…good?
Defense yes. The rest, TBD.
I’ve been trying to tell you for like 6 months!
That OL ought be ashamed.
I think Mack’s agent should renegotiate his contract at halftime. He’s already outplayed his current one.
I was wondering if you were watching and if those screams I heard were from your direction.
Rikki’s gonna throw so many strawberry rinds on neighborhood lawns tonight.
Just got here. Has everyone else already abused you enough yet?
I’m not sure – I’ve been a bad kommenter and have been doing Duolinguo instead.
Is that a sex thing?
Yes, in that it takes Rikki longer than it used to, and everyone in the room is annoyed at him.