I’ve had a shit-ton of fun today and it’s all your fault. I hope you’re happy… just like me. Beers and scotch have been consumed, games have been watched. The Giants squandered opportunities against a superior team. The Pats did what they always do. Them Brownies (as of my typing) are hanging tough in OT. The Bucs and Saints had a wild one. All in all, not a bad day for us NFL addicts. But Wait! There’s More! Some fellas from the great Midwest are butting helmets! (Illegal tackle, penalty is… uh, 5 yards and a first down? Help me out over here ) Shall we dive in? Let’s. TO THE GAME!
Bears/Packers:
That guy that can win games single-handedly (see Green Bay/Dallas last year) is back! He SMRT as all get-out, trust me on this. I’m curious how JAY-GRAY will do here-after all, there haven’t been many te’s that have gone off big time with Rodgers at the helm. But hell, the guy did play basketball at some point and according to announcers everywhere, that counts for… something. The biggest story this week in Chicago that doesn’t involve the word ‘gun death’ is the signing of a certain Khalil Mack. Not sure how much we’ll see of him ce soir but I’m guessing he’ll be involved in a few specific pass rushing packages. I’ll admit-I’m a bit curious about Truth Biscuit’s progress over the off-season. He seems to be yet anudder fella with all the physical skills and not one of the intangibles that tend to separate the wheat from the chaff quarterback-wise.
Enjoy.
Folk singer Leonard Cohen, soothing with his dulcet tones.
I’ll always remember this game, not for Aaron Rodgers, but for how short the DeShone Kizer era was.
All right, DeShone, get in there. Show us what you can do.
TEN MINUTES LATER
Okay, who else have we got with at least one leg?
Shortest Kizer reign since Karl I.
216 TD passes, 3 of which went to someone not named Calvin Johnson
Damn, I’m already up an hour later than I managed yesterday, but fading quick. I WILL watch the rest of this game
THERE IT IS. THERE’S THE WASTED TIMEOUT. I KNEW I’D GET IT IF I ASKED
At least Titsbisky realizes they need to score again.
apparently, Kisser of Titties can only run the ball now. He is in a fugue state of sorts.
Bears have WRs, right?
If they’re bottoms, then yes, they have wide rectums.
Al Michaels: “The crowd’s already at full throat.”
Dammit Al.
am I seriously the only Commentist who muted his teevee box at 10-20?
Marv Albert: yessssssss
Christ, an actual quarterback sweep?
Why not? The rest of his teammates ain’t doing shit.
At least Nagy hasn’t fucked away any timeouts yet
And right on cue….
Good rush by bisky, but holy hell that was a bad call, tho
Official team line:Rodgers took the cart back to the locker room because he forgot his wallet, and totally not because his leg is a frayed and shattered shadow of its former self
They sent Rogers out on a cart so they could press their bets. There was nothing wrong with him.
He’s like Dave Stohler at the end of ” Breaking Away”
JUST TAPE MY FEET TO THE PEDALS!!!
How do you go 8/11 for 26 goddamned yards?
Alex Smith: niiiiiiiiiceeee
Andy Reid protege has created his own Alex Smith
If Olivia Munn had fluffed A-Rod like the announcers are, she might’ve HAHAHAHAHA just kidding he’s gay.
I’m going to watch this all night. The tooth flying out is great.
Genetically engineered mayonnaise
So Coach Nagy, the reason why you wear a fucking hat and not a visor is so you can cover up your bald spot.
Says the guy who wears a hat to cover up his bald spot.
10 bucks says he ditches the visor for a cap by week 4.
Oh man, no matter how this goes, it’s gonna be some HILARIOUS fan reaction
Andy Reid protege choking a 20-point lead, everything now is on schedule
“What’s a schedule?”
— Andy Reid
On the bright side, this isn’t Tom Brady doing this. Just imagine that.
/would have killed self already, thanks
Wait, this is a game? And Rodgers is playing? I thought his knee died.
He’s doing this on one leg. Packers fans are going to be extra insufferable this week.
Wait, he’s Greg Jennings?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1P0yfq2wDvU
We’re about to get a glimpse into the mirror universe where Wisconsin has an NHL team.
Well, you Chi**** fans had at least one good half this year.
You almost fooled me, you ursine motherfuckers
How can Davante Adams be the Jordy Nelson of the team if he was on the team when Nelson was still there?
Idea: All we need to do is convince Bill Belichick that a quarterback plays better with no ACL and MCL in your left knee and let nature play its course.
This is amazing. He’s in agony doing this.
A.A.Ron’s knee vs. Brett’s dead dad: Who ya got!?
I feel really bad if the horse tranquilizers are wearing off.
This is our fault. We jumped on their bandwagon and broke the team.
Game. Blouses.
Ahahaha this fucking bullshit
some kind of bullshit
Off topic.
NO, NO, NO, NO….NO
This reminds me of that game where Matt Leinart came out of nowhere and started whooping on the 5-0 bears and then faceplanted hard in the second half so bad that he wandered the league as a walking corpse for the next 6 years.
Shit, if this goes the way it looks like it’s going to go, the Packer fans at work are going to be insufferable. Maybe I’ll call in sick.
“Fuck.”
– Rodgers’ knee
/ because it has to go right back on the field, you see
Andy Reid school, eh, this is ending in catastrophe for the Bears, isn’t.
I recommend re-commencing the pass rush.
Oh, you think Colin Kaepernick is brave? Well how about that guy whose leg is dangling from several exposed tendons and stretched bits of cartilage as he throws a touchdown pass in a game that was decided at halftime?
watching the slo-mo before the ad break, you can see again – ALL arm
Plus he doesn’t take a knee. He…he can’t because his knee brace setting is at “FDR”.
Can’t kneel when you don’t have knees. ppl forget that
The fuck kinda route was that?
Bears not good
I dunno…he was a better actor than Greg Evigan.
here it comes
That’s definitely not Lou Ferrigno holding a stuffed animal over his head.
(Don’t worry about him getting mad. He can’t hear me.)
He can’t hear you, but he can read.
Nah, he’s Italian.
So, 21-20 GB, right?
Andy Reid protege now has to chew clock for his defense
uh oh
That TD was thanks to the offensive line giving him all the time.
Browns need to put in the lowest guy on the foot chain and just tell him…
Pay his suspension. Just take out that leg.
But they’re nowhere near Wisconsin right now.
Goddammit.