Local mom and pop restaurants win, your toilet takes one for the team. The above pic is the result of a search for ‘crab chili’ which looks exactly like I had envisioned it. Me? I’m staying away from the spread and betting the over on the prop bet of 2.5 Extra-Strength Zantac’s. There’s never been easier money, folks.
Both these teams are undefeated and impressively so. (even though the Bills and Colts were involved, smh) No team’s future success can be measured by a week 1 result, BUT! Week 2? Teams that win in the second week have a 79% chance of getting to the Super Bowl. The teams that do get there are a staggering 68-15 in the season’s final game. Made-up numbers don’t lie, citizens. How will this tilt turn out? In order to suss that we must go, TO THE GAME!
Bally/Cincy:
The Ravens re-vamped their wr spots and brought in Crabtree, Brown and Snead IV. And don’t you know, each of them scored a TD during the eviscerating of the Bills. Kudos to you, GM of the Ravens whose name I’m too lazy to look up! Speaking of wr’s having a heyday, AJ Green has had Baltimore’s breakfast, lunch, dinner and drank their milkshake over the years. Anyone recall his 10 catch, 227 yards outing back in 2015? If qb Dalton gets even a sniff of mention for the Bengalis ‘Ring of Honor’ or whatever they call it (Brown Stain of Excellence? Barely Up to Par Whirlygig sponsored by Les Nessman?) he’ll have to carry Green in on his shoulders during the ceremony in order to yang the yin of Green carrying him for so many years. LAMAR! did some mopping up last week and the rumorfying going on is that he’ll have a special package delivered to Cincy tonight. We shall see.
Let’s make this the most special Thursday night of the year.
A to the J!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ve decided to waste my night watching Sicario: Day of the Soldado, and so far all I have to say is Josh Brolin is way more Thanos in this than he was in Avengers. Dude is harsh.
AJ GREEN, I’M SORRY! I LOVE YOU AGAIN!
I DIDN’T LISTEN
/checks score
//still can’t believe internet is still up
Screw you, Redshirt. 😛
I graduated from OU right before Mixon got there. I still know people who say that he did nothing wrong because that girl deserved it. (Although I think anybody in Pickleman’s would be pissed they paid that much for a Subway-level sandwich.)
I absolutely hate college football.
I keep saying it: WR Reverses work because its changes the direction of the play; an end-around doesn’t and that’s why it never works!
This place has a 12 foot by 16 foot TV and it’s showing the Dodgers.
#LAFootball
Nice picture…
Brooklyn…just saying. Ebbets Field? Really, nothing?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07Y0cy-nvAg
Just got home, how Thursdayish has the game been so far?
It’s not very interesting because only one team is playing.
Twist in plot, the Bengals decided to show up for work this time.
we almost had a flacco ception and a daltonception on back to back plays
How the fuck ya doing boys??
Smilin’ like a Joker victim. But its still the 1st quarter.
Ooh, Mixon’s back. Maybe I was right!
The Bills might get outscored by 500 points this season.
By the transitive property the Bengals would be leading the Bills by 83 points right now.
The Bengals look as competent as they usually do during the regular season.
Not this competent. I’m testing myself to be sure I’m not dreaming.
Hey, stop stepping on tomorrow’s open thread.
Holy shit, the Orioles are winning.
NOBODY MOVE NOBODY SAY ANYTHING!!!!!!!!
Can I shit my pants or is that considered a movement?
Hey, 104 losses on September 13th is pretty damned impressive.
Oh shit. I just realized, 22 years ago today I made the biggest mistake of my life. And that’s saying something.
Yes, tWBS married a complete psycho 22 years ago today.
“Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or drop to the floor? Cuz if I freeze, I cain’t rightly drop to the floor, and if I go to the floor, I’s in motion.”
Either way, Mesa PD is going to riddle you with bullets.
“aww, bless their hearts. Let’s just give em this one, OK?”
Wrong site. Move on.
The roads are crumbling. The streetcar doesn’t work. Two bridges are at risk of catastrophic failure. But we have a Ferris wheel that only costs a third of the entry of Coney Island and a fifth of the entry of Kings Island.
Goddamnit, please tell me Mixon just has to poop.
I’m at a bar meeting a friend and not only do more people care about the Dodgers game, it’s on the largest screen, almost all of the other screens, and the football game is only on 3 TVs.
#LAFootball
I was watching ESPN this morning and every time I saw “LAC” on the crawl during the NFL news I wondered why in hell they were discussing the Clippers.
That’s the Shitty Clippers to you, good sir.
It’s ok, you’ve been away. You missed that one.
I call shenanigans. You don’t have any friends.
What’s happening in the game? I’m presuming the Ravens are fucking up. It’s my fallback position.
Yes, I just checked the score online.
Ravens gon’ Raven.
It’s an AFC North division game. It’s safe to assume both teams will look awful and there will be fifteen on-field hits that qualify as “assault” in most civilized countries.
No, the Steelers aren’t playing and Burfict is still suspended.
“Also, the quarterback was tackled after his forward progress was ruled to be stopped, so a 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct and Hubbard is banned for life from the NFL.”
So its taken 21 real minutes to go just under 4.5 football minutes. By my estimates, this game should end by 1:30.
I’ve been gardening every time the Ravens have the ball.
By all appearances, so have they.
Yay green!
Drinking is the only escape.
AHEM. NO IT IS NOT.
/Discworld joke
You don’t know until you try.
Yo Leetboy – you guys haven’t deliberately thrown to orange helmets in over twenty years. Get with it.
Oh thank god…this game was moving two fast…we almost went three plays between commercial breaks.
Why do I watch this crap?!?
Oh wait…crippling gambling habit…
The refs made the right call, debated, then made the wrong call, so it could be reviewed.
In Joe’s defense…he only threw a weak ass throw into triple coverage.
Roomtemperaturemilkception!
But is an elite interception?
If you are buying your suit from Amazon…you aren’t getting the fucking job.
Hey great, just lost satellite signal.
THANKS HURRICANE AND DIRECTV!!!!!
Grumble grumble, I guess I’ll go read. Stupid books.
I really fucking hate instant replay. I just don’t think it works and it does nothing buy slow down the game to a crawl.
AJ GREEN, YOU ARE KILLING ME!
That’s the 1st time I’ve said that.
The QB was sacked. Where the hell’s the flag?!
-Tom Brady
Has the Ravens always wore those purple pants with the white stripe?
I was thinking that too, may be a slightly new design
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aABvUCtCmtY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9TfgMM7Xto&t=17s
We used to go out…
Erin Andrews’ dress tells me that she very recently barely escaped from a horde of sharp-clawed zombies.
What makes you so sure it wasn’t werewolves?
Okay, I don’t get NFL network and the Bengals and Ravens ain’t exactly in market, so I’m relying on you to tell me how bad this game is.
I have three receiver spots in a dynasty league and have Julio, AJ, Michael Thomas, and Tyreek. DO I TRUST PRIMETIME ANDY???
It depends on if you think the Ravens will be overconfident, and who will win the WR/DB and OL/DL battles.
I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so I look forward to Julio going 4 catches for 38 yards on Sunday.
I take it you skimmed over the above? smgdh
I read it!
Ugh. I just remembered Greg Olsen got injured so I’ll be starting Green, Mixon, and Eifert tonight. Yay Bengals!
See ya, Erik. You were fucking awesome.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkELLP5WdS0
Jeez, I knew there was fan apathy in the Bengals fandom, but if the stands are any indication, we may be lucky to break 30,000 tonight.
I don’t know why. 1/16 of the way into the season and they’re already 1/8 of the way to the record that’s gonna win that division. In the sticks where I grew up, we call that momentum!
/My old high school football team has three separate 25 game losing streaks in the last decade
The Fall of Cedric Ogbuehi Update: From 1st Round 2016 Draft Pick to 2nd Straight Gameday Healthy Inactive
Ok, which one of you chair-moisteners works at a Massachusetts gas company?
OWAH EXPLOSIONS AHH TAFFAH THAHN YOUAHS
San Jose Sharks getting Erik Karlsson for a bunch of mid-level prospects is….quite the steal. We’ll remember this when the Kansas City Senators take the ice on 2024
Wait, whut? Are you shitting me?
Nope – their power play D now consists of Karlsson & Burns on the point.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BkdCC7_JZM
Man, nobody fucks off like Brick Meathook. I didn’t do shit today except for five minutes where I looked very busy and I made sure that everyone saw me. Here’s a picture of the ceiling:
(The killing floor is to the left and the carcasses come to our area on a rail. We saw off the heads and legs and then peel off the hides)
Don’t let the name fool you. It’s not really a floor. It’s more of a steel grating that allows loose material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported.
Hey, did you go to Bovine University?
I did, more or less. When part of your education involves sticking your arm up a cow’s ass, I think that qualifies.
So you majored in fisting?
Lucky – my school only had it as a minor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us7ZgetCRio
Sorry…”as” shoulda been “with”
The whole arm, my friend. Up to the shoulder.
Animal Husbandry/Veterinary Medicine is not foar sissies.
Neat – never seen the inside of a hooker processing plant before!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI
I have entirely too many Bengals on my various fantasy teams
This sounds like the start of a suicide note.
So less of a fantasy and more of a dystopia.
Is “Dalton can’t play competently under the lights” still a thing? Because it seems like the Raveonettes should win this thing, but then I’m just a bot trying to own the libs.
Uncertain, Russian Hacker’s Subroutine. While the Bengals are still struggling, Dalton has actually been a bit better in the Lights. Its just his mistakes are illuminated more because of his past failures.
I feel like the NFL is trying to make up for HBO’s recent “no adult” content decision by putting the Red Rocket and Mr. Flaccid on prime time.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of All Ages! Tonight, the Cincinnati Bengals, the National Football League, in association with Tums Antacid Chewy Bites presents: Primetime Andy!
http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/dr-dalton-and-mr-andy/