Seriously. Acorns, hickory nuts….even a persimmon hit me in the head yesterday while I was cleaning up hurricane debris. Gravity is stupid.
(This vid is very NSFW, btw)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20h-PJPMap4
But the squirrels like it…
–
Ringo
I’ve told this story to some of you privately, but I still think it’s funny. So Imma tell it again here publicly.
My pair of ducks are no longer with us. This is them. Or….WAS them…
Those ducks loved me. Mostly because I fed them twice daily. Unfortunately, the male was small and sickly from the jump. It’s actually kind of surprising he lived as long as he did.
A few weeks ago, I found him dead, near the water’s edge, with the female there by his side grieving. Assuming ducks can actually grieve. I honestly don’t know if they can, but she followed me as I removed the male’s body and disposed of it. And then she stuck close to the house for several days, quacking her little ass off at me.
I knew his demise meant she’d also soon go away to find a new mate, which apparently she now has. I haven’t seen her now for a few weeks.
But while I raised them, and while I was feeding them regularly, the local squirrel population got wise to the feeding schedule, and began also showing up regularly to get their share. One of those squirrels has a tail which has a very distinct ringed pattern. So, of course I named him “Ringo”.
Well, since the ducks went bye bye, I’ve still been getting the sad “we’re hungry” eyes from all of the squirrels, so I’ve continued to feed them. Yes, I’m a sucker.
Anywhoooooo…..
Ringo disappeared for a couple of weeks recently. And I more or less thought he was goner as well. But he showed back up a few days ago with a giant (and almost fully healed) scar across his back. I don’t know the particulars of the incident which caused this wound, of course. But he’s a tough little shit, apparently.
And his name is now Ringo Scarr.
Oh come on!!!!!! It’s funny, dammit!!!!!!!
Ah, to be sixteen again, huh?
Also, is Ringo Starr a pedophile or what?????????
–
I Gotta Go Buy A New Leaf Blower I Guess
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPg63uxYwN0
Some of you might recall that back when the summer solstice hit, I wrote a post featuring Summer Glau…
So you should not be terribly surprised now, since tomorrow is the the autumnal equinox, the first day of Autumn sooooo….well…. yeah…
Autumn Reeser week evahbodeh!!!!!!
Oh Crap, she gon’ shoot me with a flare gun. I hope the leaves don’t catch fire.
Enjoy…
I know that beach. Never seen her there, however. So, now I’m sad.
–
Equinox Time Fo’ Da Ladies!!!!
(see what I did there?)
Have a great weekend, everyone.
Love ya’s
–
The second dude, lying on the red leaves looks like he’d make a great TV version of Superman.
The last dude, he looks like he is dumber than a sack of potatoes. Not that it matters cause he has a fantastic bod…with the exception of the legs
Leaf briefs don’t sound like a lot of fun.
The Shitty Clippers are playing RAMMIT! on Sunday at the Coliseum and tickets are going on StubHub starting at $30.
And I have to be at an annual meeting of a secret society I belong to. Fuck! I’d go to that game for thirty bucks even if I’m way up in the stands. I could use my new camera.
Fucking secret societies. I’m not supposed to be telling you any of this.
Is it the Ancient, Mystic Society of No Homers?
They’re allowed to have one.
Holy shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZuayQFD51w
…and Brill still loses by 15 because #MAGA
We need a picture of Trump blowing Putin. That’s the only way to end this thing.
That wouldn’t be enough to stop these cultists. Trump is trying to be “bigger” than Jim Jones.
We’re not fortunate enough that it would end the same way.
Yup
Holy shit! Compared to that, Ohio Political Ads are Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood segments.
“Paul Gosar the Gosarian”
In terms of personal life, Paul Gosar is the Aaron Rogers of Arizona Politicians
NO TALKING IN THE QUIET CAR!!!!
A lefty too?
Alex Smith wept.
Mighty Fulham in the early window tomorrow morning. West Ham in the early window Sunday. SETTING MAH ALARMS NOW
Is this semaphore or flaghoist?
In the middle of nowhere on the Alaska Highway there’s a cabin with a door with a window in the door and there’s a switch that turns on the light inside the cabin and you flip the switch and look through the window and this is what you see:
> I turn off switch
the light goes out
>I turn around
You are eaten by a grue.
Its a good thing this is only a picture. If this was real life, I’d feel like they staring into my very soul.
Not for long.
Is that a hotel gym gym?
A friend texted me a photo of what appears to be a hotel room floor and his big toe is in the bottom of the frame. He has not responded to my questions asking why he sent that. Should I presume he was kidnapped?
Either that or he’s drunk and wants to take the relationship to the next level.
Did you get drunk and tell him about your foot fetish?
9/10, would bite that tummy. Gently. Mostly.
Why the shit am I still at work?
Reliving the experience of your ancestors under the Pharaoh?
There is nothing that I could come up with that is even close to this. Well done.
Yeah, way to break the curve.
How did you get that video of me at the Driving Range?
Jesse Pinkman never was that athletic.
Magnets, Bitch!!!!
Still my favorite single line from a TV show ever.
yeah, Mister White!!
AIDS has really done a number of Lil’ Jimmy Norton.
That reminds me of the joke I made when I heard Ralphie May died of penumonia:
“The AIDS diet didn’t go as planned.”
h
ttp://cdn4.images.motherlessmedia.com/images/CB554FD.gif
OK, I fucking laughed (NSFDFO; nipples and sick humor)
h
ttp://66.media.tumblr.com/8ceb8bef7061c40b00d83c361a3116c3/tumblr_obnug5XRFf1vxr9g2o1_400.gif
(NSFDFO due to gravity and nipples)
fixed it
No you didn’t.
So, since the anniversary of Ted Cruz’s pornorino has passed, I’m curious if anyone else has noticed that general genre of porn seems to have exploded in the last year. I can only suspect because it’s basically the last taboo left for porn to exploit.
o7
So it turns out Ed Whelan was looking up Dr. Ford on Linkedin BEFORE she was publically named as the victim. Keep in mind, there is absolutely NO REASON republicans can’t withdraw Kavanaugh’s nomination and put some other gop operative on the court before the election. This man is a rapist, and we are about to put him on the highest court in this land because an empowered cult refuses to ever admit guilt or fault in anything. Sickening.
Words can’t describe how angry this shit makes me. I haven’t been able to leave the house for like 3 days. I didn’t even shower yesterday, and I NEVER do that. I am in like a fugue state about it.
Absolutely.
Fuck those people.
the Bridget Fonda gif below helps
Not the dress code at my office.
Nice phone.
Nice shirt.
Fun fact: I met Autumn Reeser at a poker game her (now) husband was hosting. I didn’t recognize her or make the connection when she introduced herself as Autumn, but I was absolutely floored by how beautiful she was. She was so gorgeous it was like she was another species or something.
homo goddess
“BUT SHE AIN’T GOT NO TITS!” — Great Uncle Datass (Not an exaggeration.)
“small tits are the BEST tits” – HIPPO
“You only feel that way because they are smaller than yours, fat ass.”
My Grandpa once told me the only thing a man need on a cold day is a nice fire and a well endowed woman*.
He may have used other words than well endowed. Dementia is lovely.
My Grandad’s youngest brother (My Great Uncle) was a wonderful man and a good-humored badass and greatly admired busty women. I miss them both … so to say …
Autumn; did your fingers smell like spring?
She is kinda perrty, yes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Vic0qKl64Y&ab_channel=TheOfficeUS
Hippo I am thinking the Trojans will win this evening by 3.5. Wazzu has played nobody and it is in LA. Thoughts?
Play it safe and put a tenner on the condoms. That way, if Wazzu breaks through, you won’t feel the burn 9 months from now
Haha I got fixed a month ago. Fire away! The line moved to 4.5
still take it
We need to find a sneaky team again like Wyoming last year. They made me a bunch of money.
BYU is back to their normal, pesky selves after a down year. I called their ML win (+22.5) over Bucky Badger, of course did nae bet it.
I read the entire sheet up and down 3x this weekend, didn’t see much I liked. Bet Marshall (+5.5 at home to NC State, that’s a coinflip game) and Sparky (+17,5 at U-Dub because I don’t think the latter is worth a fuck either), but that’s all I liked.
TCU line (-3 at Texas) is awfully low, but it feels all trappist to me, and they could be emotionally flat after shitting themselves against THEEEEE.
I think this is right, and am kicking myself for not saving money for this game.
I must keep my windows open, so I need 3 Benadryl in addition to my extra V-profen and muscle relaxer. Let’s get weird indeed.
“…and in other news tonight, a Raleigh-area man was arrested last night, after being found naked and yelling at the Bank of America on Third Street, referring to himself as ‘King Hippo.'”
JFF fumbled in the end zone. Hilarity ensued.
having one’s car in the shop is a good diet/nudie bar avoidance tool
It also cancels out the chance of a DUI, so it’s POPPIN AND DRANKEN TIME
you have pretty good ideas, especially FOAR a Yinzer no ofence
How did FL Atlantic get a Friday Night game on ESPN? Are they any good or is it a bad week for JV FB?
Kiffin vs Defending National Champions.
Also, points!
the “marquee” game is PAC Twaaaaaalve (Wazzu/Troi Boiz) at 10:30. This is just appetizer.
The O/U on this FL Atlantic @ UCF game is 69. So that’s nice.
I think the Over is going to hit.
Yep, apparently the sharps agree because the line moved to 75 before kickoff.
Currently at 92. Think those sharps knew what they were doing.
JFF does nawt have the best O-line in Montreal.
i truly apprentice my homes water pressure. Given enough time it will remove a cheap tattoo.
Evenin commentists how are we all doing?
Owls comin on strong against Central Florida, which appears to be the biggest university in the country with 66,000(!) students.
That’s like 123,439 stds.
Balmer really giving Noo Yawk a stern test tonite!! So much pride.
#BFIB 1, Dirt Tomsulas nil. WOO!!!!
The Geto Boys are dope as fuck.
I have been so fucking anxious this week, I am finally back under 2 bills! Weight-wise, that is. Also in #HAILGAMBLOR balance, which is bad. But I have some JV and NFL bets out already, including a $10 longshot ML on the Illinois Fightin’ Snowflakes (courtesy of my Illinois grad buddy, they are mascotless right now) to beat the Paedos at truly insane odds.
Congratulations!
I’m not only under 3, but I’m around 260. So I hope to double down and hit a more acceptable weight closer to yours by Thanksgiving/my birthday.
I’m finally home. Back to my smells, bed, chair, toilet, etc. Doing my Saturday chores tonight while watching Joey Freshwater pull off an upset.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-_r1Npsv5I
Folks
MFW listening to people defend what Kavanaugh is accused of doing because “that’s what boys did in high school”.
whoever controls the Senate, if there’s a just and merciful God that dickass GOPer in North Dakota best not defeat Heidi Heitkamp.
She’d still vote for Kavanaugh. So will Manchin. They’re scum.
What the fuck is the point of having a Democratic party with elected officials like them?
My daughter just finished her 2nd week of daycare, which means my daughter is sick.
look, you gonna run the family immune system to the wringer sooner or later, might as well get it over with now.
Oh man, daycares are the worst. I had a friend whose kid spent most of the year sick or in the hospital because of her daycare. Good luck