Your Pride of Texas SNF Open Thread

Back when I was a wee lil Balls, one of the first songs I learned in English was this one:

The second was probably this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwZyZr8Wg5U

Even though I was a wee lil Steelers fan back then,  I really liked the Houston Oilers and Earl Campbell and Dan Pastorini. Those were some great teams.

At the same time,  probably to spite me or to be the opposite of me,  my brother was a Cowboys fan. He had a Roger Staubach action figure and everything.

So,  our loyalties within the Great State of Texas were divided. Much like many families in Texas,  I assume. Yes,  some are Cowboys families and others are Houston families,  but I’m betting a 40 oz steak that asshole brothers pulled for the other team just to spite someone.

Oh,  those were the days!

Nowadays,  the Oilers are technically in Nashville,  the Cowboys suck balls, Houston is more known for the 500, and the word “Texans” is being forced to apply to some imaginary team placed in Houston.

Also this:

I don’t care who you are, that’s some great graphic design!

Without further ado,  TO THE GAME:

The Cowboys still have not given Dak anyone to throw to and poor Dez is still sitting at home wondering why he’s being blackballed even though he never kneeled for the anthem.

The Houston franchise has a great QB in Watson and… that’s about it. Their defense is… improving.   It’s almost like the two teams are mirror images of each other.

I KNOW no one in The Great State Of Texas likes this state of affairs.

The game is in apparently NOT in Dallas,  so the ladies in attendance will have a bit more less makeup and bigger frizzier hair.  Nothing else separates these teams.

If you’re wanting to place a bet,  you might as well decide on which classic film you prefer and bet accordingly:

Enjoy the game!

Unless you want to watch the Doyers take on the Braves and really I wouldn’t blame you. At least you could avoid Collinsworth…

Or,  you could do like me and continue watching the Psych marathon on the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries channel. One of the Despereaux episodes is on!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Pugs can defend themselves too.

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Spur

Stop trying to make Dak happen, give it Zeke.

King Hippo

if non-gendered Cowpersons win the battle FOAR Deep in teh Hearta , will the Metroplex fall back in lurve with DAK DAK DAK DAK!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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GO WATSON!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Oh! McCoy apologist calling in to let us know the players are at fault for the boring playcalls! The players have poor fundamentals and, jeeze, so what if every run was a handoff up the middle? If the players just executed correctly, it would work every time. DUHH!!

The hosts, by the way, are just jumping on this like a conspiracy theorist on Fox News. THE FANS DON’T KNOW! THE FANS DON’T KNOW!

Right – because we all didn’t see how to effectively utilize David Johnson under the previous coaching staff. It must be Johnson’s fault that he’s an edge rusher being forced right up the middle….

King Hippo

IT’S ALL 100% BLACK OR WHITE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What about the Hatfields??!!?

Spur

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Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good play.

Reenactment:

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Spur

Watson is going to get hurt am telling you, STOP.

King Hippo

he must have GREAT life insurance

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

I got silly.
So I called Millie.
Millie told me.
Fuck Philly.

yeah right

Celebration weed!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

SKOL buddy! We’re back on track!

yeah right

That felt good.

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

All pug pics, gifs, memes are approved.

Spur

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Spur

Cowboys should try to get a touchdown.

nomonkeyfun

You are ready for the booth.

blaxabbath

Another McCoy bashing call! Hosts are going straight Lindsey Graham at this point.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Oh come on! You’re telling me anyone has watched a Cardinals game long enough to have opinions about their offensive coordinator? Wait, what? They have? Oh, well, carry on then.

blaxabbath

Hard to get much sample when every possession is a three and out.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

McCoy never called an offensive play while the coach of the Chargers, so I wouldn’t know what that looks like, but it sounds about right.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

The Dodgers walked the pitcher with the bases loaded, and then gave up a grand slam after finally throwing their first strike in 7 pitches. More of this, please.

litre_cola

You see, this guy, he gets it.

yeah right

That’s a happy development!

Unsurprised

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Dirty bird

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Is that a yellow card?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Own teammate; he gets a get out of yellow card free….. card.

Unsurprised

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Spur

zeke had a nice block on the 3rd down.

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

o7

King Hippo

at the commercial break, I saw my first pitch of the AL or NL Division Series. Dude walked the pitcher with the bases fucked. That seems like enough baseballing.

blaxabbath

3 of 5 Cardinals Talk callers have called out Mike McCoy. And one of the two who did not just had some pathetic old timey announcer schtick he vomited up without discussion.

Spur

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Spur

Watson may die tonight.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Ahoy gents! It’s mah birthday today, Vikes won, my opponent forgot to play a defense and I’m full of crab legs and meatballs. Hope everyone else is kicking as much ass as my life is today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Get the party started.

Spur

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LemonJello

I’m not sure what’s going here, but I’d like to learn more.

King Hippo

Hate that I’ve had to start shopping at Harris Teeter, but they DO make a good rotisserie chicken breast

LemonJello

Oh, you fancy!

King Hippo

pinky OUT fo sho

Gatoraids

Publixxx

Spur

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LemonJello

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blaxabbath

LCSS — the callers on the Cardinals post game show are “not buying in on McCoy.” Can you believe that?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Can’t run on first down? Can’t? Ca-ca-ca-CAN’T?!”

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blaxabbath

For those of you who listen to NFL on your local flagship station, what do you think of the local businesses that sponsor the team?

I’ve dealt with the car dealership that is the official sponsor ofnhe Cardinals/Dbacks/Suns — they fucking suck. The restaurants that advertise with the team, in general, are Applebee’s with a local name. The ac/cooling contractor that advertises with them? I wouldn’t dare let them in my home/business. Just curious if this is a local thing or do the shadiest businesses in every market pay to hang their name on the local NFL team?

WCS

For some hilariously strange reason, Bob’s Discount Furniture’s TV ads bill themselves as, “The Official Furniture Supplier of the Washington [REDACTEDS]” air here in Yinzburgh.

It also makes complete sense Dan Snyder would utilize the cheapest furniture.

King Hippo

My local Pizza Hut DID get markedly worse after the NFL deal, though the new box with all the helmets is old school-cool.

Spur

Nice looking drive here.

litre_cola

Hi internet fellows. Today was a bad day. Hopefully Dallas can lose and that would help a bit.

King Hippo

Yes, I think I imaginarily got you beat.

LemonJello

Oh, for fuck’s sake, JJ hurt his knee, he didn’t get blown up by an IED. Fuck that guy with Milton Berle’s dick.

blaxabbath

SHOW ME A MORE WOUNDED WARRIOR! YOU CANT!

Spur

Misty Winter sounds like a something your experience in Maine

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder what Paula Head’s special power was in that Debbie Does Dallas movie.

LemonJello

Footjobs.

Spur

I thought Carrie Underwood missed up her face, Phantom of the Opera style? She looks the same.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

So is sexsomnia anything like sexlexia?

herodotus450

Don’t worry Brett, they already confirmed you.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Apparently he has sexnesia.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m very much rooting for the Braves in this one, but then they had to go and play “The Chop” and I’m suddenly conflicted.

Spur

Houston smells like ass and gun smoke.

Viva La Tabula Raza

And chemical plants.

blaxabbath

Listening to the Cardinals postgame Cardinal Talk radio show. These bastards are feeling hope!

Now, I get it from Wolfley, he’s got CTE. The rest of these dudes are just trying to sell bullshit though.

Spur

I need the Cowboys season to run long this year. The Spurs 1st round draft pick has a tear in his knee and the young starting point guard is having an MRI on Monday. It might be a long Spurs season.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve really enjoyed the Robinson-Duncan-Ginobili-Parker era, but I am afraid that we are going to be seeing a slow-motion descent into mediocrity. I’m sure we’ll continue to make the playoffs every year under Pop, but I don’t see any of the recent acquisitions getting to a level similar to those players I mentioned, and I doubt if we’ll be getting out of the second round given the level of competition.
But I’ll still keep my fingers crossed and hope to be proven wrong.

Viva La Tabula Raza

So the ad using their song got me curious. Rare Earth is still a thing, have a website, and they still play live on occasion. Since the leader has been with the band since 1960, he must be closing in on being 80 years old.

King Hippo

I need Watson not to outscore Hopkins by more than 70 tonight, to go to 4-1 in money league. Pretty sure that’s nigh impossible, but my neuroses mean I need certainty.

Spur

Folks

LemonJello

I know I’ve pointed it out before, but Zeke looks like he has absorbed elevated levels of heavy metals during his childhood.

King Hippo

Seems quite plausible. I mean, you think Zeke ain’t gonna eat all these tasty-ass paint chips??

Viva La Tabula Raza

Not to pick nits, but the game is actually taking place at NRG in Houston. The women will all be leaving snail trails about JJ Watt. But as a San Antonian, I say “Fuck both those flatland fucking towns.”

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