Back when I was a wee lil Balls, one of the first songs I learned in English was this one:
The second was probably this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwZyZr8Wg5U
Even though I was a wee lil Steelers fan back then, I really liked the Houston Oilers and Earl Campbell and Dan Pastorini. Those were some great teams.
At the same time, probably to spite me or to be the opposite of me, my brother was a Cowboys fan. He had a Roger Staubach action figure and everything.
So, our loyalties within the Great State of Texas were divided. Much like many families in Texas, I assume. Yes, some are Cowboys families and others are Houston families, but I’m betting a 40 oz steak that asshole brothers pulled for the other team just to spite someone.
Oh, those were the days!
Nowadays, the Oilers are technically in Nashville, the Cowboys suck balls, Houston is more known for the 500, and the word “Texans” is being forced to apply to some imaginary team placed in Houston.
Also this:
Without further ado, TO THE GAME:
The Cowboys still have not given Dak anyone to throw to and poor Dez is still sitting at home wondering why he’s being blackballed even though he never kneeled for the anthem.
The Houston franchise has a great QB in Watson and… that’s about it. Their defense is… improving. It’s almost like the two teams are mirror images of each other.
I KNOW no one in The Great State Of Texas likes this state of affairs.
The game is in apparently NOT in Dallas, so the ladies in attendance will have a bit more less makeup and bigger frizzier hair. Nothing else separates these teams.
If you’re wanting to place a bet, you might as well decide on which classic film you prefer and bet accordingly:
Enjoy the game!
Unless you want to watch the Doyers take on the Braves and really I wouldn’t blame you. At least you could avoid Collinsworth…
Or, you could do like me and continue watching the Psych marathon on the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries channel. One of the Despereaux episodes is on!
Dang.
Welp.
This game deserves to end in a 16-16 tie that will forever have people asking, “Wtf, 16-16?”
the “Roy Moore threesome”
Oh please give me Dallas heartbreak
Drats
That was quite the twist by Watson
Hopkins is always open
500s should have run and played for OT
I don’t have to work tomorrow, and have plenty of booze and herb, so OT would be welcome.
Welcome to this world.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp6B6ABVYDQ
a band ahead of their time, 100%
Stay in bounds you mental dunce
WE WANT A DRAW! WE WANT A DRAW!
Austin dancing his way to a decent return
Houston, you useless fucks
Merde, need to lay heavy ML coin on the Chefs next week.
RIP your coins.
this…would be nothing new
Pfft. I have a release time of 5 seconds or less, too, and I don’t hear anyone praising me for that
Wonder how much that videogame company paid Matthews to use his image. Kinda funny and timely.
I wish the CoD games weren’t such garbage now. I really appreciated that Clay Matthews ad.
I am 16 out of 40 steps done with an Ikea dresser.
That’s nothing. I recently set up a toy kitchen set for Toddlerzilla. I think there was 48 or 49 steps.
…later that night….
Way to go Honey Badger!
Who’s the dumbass that decided to eat ghost pepper jam this time of day?
guilty.
I haven’t cried this hard since Wayne Static died.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYSHp4SG5dc
Homemade? Second, if homemade, can you send me a recipe? Need to do that with the eighty bajillion tWBS sent me.
Not in this case but was in the audience.
Oh the ghost pepper jam? NO it’s the Ghost Scream thing!
The garlic pepper jam dealie.
must tip one’s cap to that non-gendered Cowpersons defensing unit
Go for it!
Houston, go home, you’re drunk.
DOINK!!!!
What’s the deal with the color border on those Texans hats?
Quasi Yuge BC LioUns news:
Statement from Jonathon Jennings’ agent: “Jonathon is one of the first to arrive to work every day. Ed would know this if Ed weren’t one of the last. Like many quarterbacks, Jonathon’s routine is to do additional film study on his own at home every night.”
Ed Hervey is the BC LioUns’ GM
Shot. fired.
This is a shitty game.
/remembers Ravens/Browns from earlier
THIS IS A GREAT GAME!!!!!!!
but this ain’t so bad it;s GOOD
“Since the start of Super Bowl XLIX, teams have now thrown four times — FOUR TIMES! — at the 1-yard line with Marshawn Lynch on the field. Following Derek Carr’s interception, those passers are 0-4 with 2 Int on those passes, per ESPN Stats & Information”
Holy shit, this is a stupid sport.
calling it a night on the interwebs.
Last team to derp wins this.
Clowney with another missed tackle
Leonard Marshall would be shot on the spot for that hit on Montana if it happened today.
/wonders why black guys paint up with eye black
//seems redundant
///puts self in timeout again for making this comment
Eye black doesn’t reflect light as much as skin does. Even black skin will reflect light, especially with oil and sweat.
Dude….it was just a joke.
Granted, a bad joke.
Holy shit! I just saw the end of that SpaceX launch on my balcony and that was amazing!
They launched off of your balcony? You might need some repairs soon.
I know a guy.
Vandenberg bitches! Reusable Space-X shit.
Or so I heard.
How is it that the NFL has rigged it so the offense should be able to score at will, yet we constantly get low scoring games?
coaching staffs. Dallas and Texans are neolithic
What would you consider Clowney? Bust? Worth the #1 overall pick? Serviceable player?
He serviceable
I never knew ODB was a clown.
Certainly a disappointment when compared to the anticipation created when he was drafted, but as Hippo says, serviceable.
Bust. The hype when drafted and the fact JJ Watt clears at least 1 lineman with help. The guy isn’t causing mayhem every down.
the 500s should consider handing off the next 7 or 8 plays, until Watson remembers what a football is
Dont hurt yourself celebrating Clowney.
In my world, that would be a catch…
https://steamusercontent-a.akamaihd.net/ugc/802048386395026046/8F59E44EDB51355BE067E34C623FCE626641FA9E/
Zeke just got mashed trying to pass block.
That was funny.
The word “mashed” made me imagine Zeke as a cockroach, The Metamorphosis-style. This also made me chuckle.
It’s almost like the non-gendered Cowpersons could use some skill players.
I can not in any way root for that Dallas running back. He failed at life.
he looks like a GHB’ed Ewok. You dont like the Ewoks?
I fucking hate ewoks.
The only good praxis
Ok Kevin Smith.
Will accept.
A live look at Houston’s offense
Holy shit.
It’s not hard to understand why the Texans are 1-3.
missing the connective tissue so to speak. Also Coach Buttchinski.
I swear the Texan coaches want to kill Watson
I’m Trent Green! How did I get so dark??
Open your eyes, Trent.
I’m not sure that’s a good taco.
come on, Hopkins. Do a thing.
Sean Lee? Tavon Austin? Bill O’Brien? 2012 is excited
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSZ6JZvMrRFNyojLvVRj8qNGnPosAuXhtvEn4S8ZLVbwxEZyAK2