[sniffs the air]
It was definitely you.
Week 5 Fallout:
-Marquez Valdes-Scantling scored his very first NFL TD and a new fantasy god was born. (not you, Marquez)
-Keke Coutee also scored his very first TD, prompting older white guys to reference “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” for no reason that any other demographic can figure out.
-Gano/Crosby is the new yin/yang of the NFL.
-As a Giants fan, my interest in the top 5 draft prospects of 2019 has been piqued.
-te Ertz only has a single TD but is trending towards a.) a high volume fella and b.) 1400 frickin’ yards!
-a certain 2nd year qb passed a very difficult test with flying colours. Apparently he did his Mahomes-work.
-The Jerrah of course questioned the decision to punt on 4th down and 1. I guess Princeton math ain’t quite up to speed yet.
Is it that time? Yes, yes it is. TO THE GAME!
Was/NO:
The ‘Dacted’s are coming off the way-too-early bye at a white-hot 2-1. If they get another W under their belts they’ll be 1 1/2 games up on the rest of the dregs in the NFC East. One of the narratives that will be repeatedly bounced off your noggin tonight is that Adrian Peterson (the NFL’s very first switch-hitting running back) will be out for R-VENGE! The other thingy will be qb Breezy breaking the elder Manning’s total yards passing mark. If you were to calculate the record into miles (like the graphics department will inevitably do) you’ll find that it’s over 40 miles. That’s a figure that Jack Kerouac isn’t the least bit impressed by.
Have at it, champs.
Who else feels like:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJzrVtioigo
Ian Kinsler is on the Red Sox now? Add that to David Price, Porcello, and JD Martinez (and GM DD) and you got yourself a Detroit Tigers lineup from 3 years ago.
God, if the 2021 Red Sox are as good as the current Tigers I will be a very, very happy man.
14 more runs in the next two innings and the Yankees can still take this thing!
/puts head in oven
Hoping this is just 19-8 on the other side… HOW DID NOBODY TELL SEVY IT WASN’T AN 8:15?
No seriously.
Just two touchdowns. Not a big deal.
Embarrassing COnfession – I am tracking scores in my money league because I want to see if I keep top score for the 2nd week in a row. We only get moneys for full season (in 2nd, closing in on 1st, he’s a Bitchin’ Kamara guy hee hee), I’m just being a piece of shit.
I am SO ANGRY that I am out of things to bet that I can’t avenge mah bad beats.
I get back from Saul, and see I’m not returning to a game. This is a snuff film.
I’m getting ready to watch that meself so no spoilers, Pal!!!!!!
(Did Mike track Werner down???? NO DON’T TELL ME DON’T TELL ME!!!!!)
Kim gets a sex change operation and chooses the name… Jesse.
DUDE! SPOILERS!
I had a recent conference at work and one of the women from out of town looked like Kim Wexler. I pointed this out to another attorney in my office who watches the show and she said she hadn’t caught up yet, so I said, “oh, Kim’s dead”
Jesus, dude.
I’ve got a penis now….BITCH!!!!!
“Yeah, it may have the tensile strength of a Nerds rope, but it’s a cock nonetheless!”
That cock saved him from being busted by Hank and helped him get noticed by Walt.
If I would STOP BETTING ON GODDAMNED LESSER FOOTY, I would be doing really well.
we all have our vices
oh, I ain’t talking life. I am betting NFL and JV NFL at a very high rate of success. And then I set in on fire because my Lesser Footy system works damnit
The only thing that systems build are casinos.
I KNOW that, but goddamn it, I need to gets mah moneys back. And I’m smrter than all those guys before obvs.
An internal dialogue very similar to this is why tWBS stopped betting and got out while he was ahead.
/knew he’d fuck it up eventually so he quit
I would, but everything in the world is shit so who gives a fuck?
Dude.
I think it’s time for you and I and the ‘Dog to get together for a game. What say you?
NFC East might suck moar than AFC North. I didn’t think that was possible.
they do and it ain’t even close
I thought the Cowboys might go 5-11 this year, but watching the NFC East in action I’m having a hard time getting them to that many losses.
deffo 7-9
I am constantly being amazed at how fucking good a boy my cat is, He is very much cat, but incorporates all of the good dog traits, such that they are.
Does he fetch?
I have turned on football. Clearly I’m less than a happy camper. Also I think I’m gonna have to indoctrinate Possibly-Senorita Weaselo if the prefix comes off.
wait wait wait, you been holding out on your imaginary chums, son?
/MOAR importantly, u periscoping that angry Yanks loss sex later?
It’s hard to get that when you’re in easternmost Queens and she’s in southernmost Brooklyn. Plus I ain’t that smooth.
Just say that weirdos from the internet insist. Chicks love that!
Isn’t that just a simple drive through/by JFK?
As a matter of fact, I would just have to take the Cross Island to the Belt… but we’re not there yet. Also we both live at home.
#HandyOnTehSubway
What’s this about Possibly-Senorita Weaselo? What the Hell did I miss over my summer vacation?
…and now I think we know why we don’t see Kim in Breaking Bad.
SHUT THE FUCK UP
/but thx for reminding me it’s on for Tuesday morning purposes
//might have to check with Illuminutti about making MNF mandatory
It is hard to come back from a shotgun blast to the face like that. And to have Jesse Pinkman as the murderer? Just amaz…Oh. Sorry, Hippo.
This is quite amusing, I would go to the nudie bar, but I hate myself enough already. And I don’t want to see Maya (ah got her REAL NAME).
Rudolph or Angelou?
Angelou was a pimp. It’s true.
Angel-Oooh!
don’t have DAT ASS to be Angelou
I Know Why the Caged Bird Dances, because that’s what she’s working for the night.
TAKE TWBS WITH YOU!!
ah haven’t lost and I ain’t gonna, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! are special and could even be looking at 19-0 and being likable while doing so
??????
ah also know you hear that RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! song in your head as you sleep, and it gives you at least a semi
I honestly think Pornhub whenever you type RRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!
I do like multiples!
Cuenca fucked me, gave up 86th minute equalizer. All up to fucking NO to give me moneys to throw onto Guns Up!!!
In what time zone is it possible to still be playing soccer?
They play late in Central America. FUCK ECUADOR.
Ok so that’s a “nay” vote on wikileaks from Hippo.
It’s lesser footy time somewhere?
Brees couldn’t afford to buy his son a jersey with his name on it?
I live. There were 2 cuties on the trail. i know I’ve seen 1 before. I bet out of shape, depressed Hispanic men in their late 30s is just their type.
In Vegas, you’ve got a decent shot!
u never noe until u take ur cock out!
Disclaimer: Probably not the best idea.
But in that 2% pie slice…chuh chuh!
Just dropped into say Fuck Peyton Manning.
Heh, remember when Josh Norman was the Nnamdi Asoghmua of 2014?
Quite funny. Stages of grief indeed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpGRkBFgHS0
Baby Buster. TEH INTERVIEW! Will he sing the RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! song?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxkKlzInR4Y
Oh Suzy, we have to stop meeting like this … just kidding, carry on.
Much better than halftime song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heEKC_PgWe4
Is Suzy still our matron saint? Matron saint emeritus?
That red dress is quite fetching on her.
emeritus. It’s Emily Ratitj….however ya spell it, per dear departed whatsisname (Martin??)
why is that one guy dressed up like Speedy Gonzalez’ sleepy cousin?
Just got off shift at Senor Frog’s?
“done it the right way”
– show no emotion, have a very white family
Missionary, with the lights off and your socks stay on, for the love of Christ!
so long as you bumblefucks cover 5.5
Tinyhandsdown!
Since when did Jeff Sessions start doing MNF?
Jeff Triplette — Master Communicator … fart noise.
More liek Master Debater, amirite?
Know who would not have fumbled that? MICHAEL THOMAS!
3rd foot?
2 feet inbounds plus footbaw move?
Visanthe Shiancoe plays for the Saints now?
In-com-PLETE!!!
Triplette thought so too. So, of course it’s a fumble.
Angel Hernandez thought it was a catch.
Wow. What a message. A father loves his children. Just amazing. Astonishing. Incredible.
Adrian Peterson or Drew Brees?
Antonio Gates played basketball in college!
It posted a comment about the record breaking when I meant to post an Adrian beats his children joke. I am a moron you see.
Drinking game with Tiny Hands checkdowns the rest of the way?
From his underground lair, Tom Brady laments that Belichek wouldn’t let him run up the score enough over the years.
They really didn’t flag them for Excessive Celebration for breaking an NFL Career Record?
there was an on-field ceremony, FFS. How can you flag anything else?
The ref was involved. That’s entrapment!
It’s the NFL, of course they did.
the man named Booger understands Louisiana, y’all
Checking in on the game. Closer than I thought. NFC East 1-7 since week 3.
I figured they were throwing to him as a yuk-yuk
Here’s the question. If Drew Brees stayed in San Diego, would he still have the same career he did in New Orleans?
“HUH? WHAT ABOUT ME YOU HEATHEN COCK-WALLET? WE ALL FLOAT OUT HERE!”
-P. Rivers
Probably not the playoff success, because of shitty coaching, but regular season numbers? Don’t see why not.
Good thing the Dolphins never signed that Brees fellow. His shoulder really held him back.
That attempt at a tackle was so half-hearted, I think the defender must have gotten confused for a second and thought the wideout was a QB.
YOU’RE NOT THOMAS!
He isn’t Kamara either!
I’m not sure who the fuck that was.
…but that’s okay.
– Andy Reid, to his english muffins
Uh, did the [*Redacted] s just decide to give the record to Brees there?
I like to think the Bleepbleeps gave him the record, but I sadly think they were trying to defend that pass.
They sure are shitty!
Holy crap. We’re getting a record going down?
they been hiding his light under a bushel (full of anal beads) all night…
How crunk and angry you reckon PeyPey be?
Angrier than Papa John watching Black Panther
Angry enough to pop open a six pack of stem cells and drunk dial the bills
WHEE, Cuenca can finally has soccer point. $219 is my chip plus chair, if results hold!
He thinks FUMBRE, wants his 7 yards.
This is the New Orleans defense I remember.