NFL News:
- No man is an island, and Chad Kelly found that out late Tuesday night as he was a clod washed away by a sea of bad press.
- He was cut by the Broncos as a result of his criminal trespass arrest after the Broncos Hallowe’en party.
- PFT has rumours of intoxicated behaviour, and “aggressive actions” towards another guest at the party, and then a separate altercation with the security hired for the party.
- On top of breaking into the home he was arrested for entering, and getting clubbed by the homeowner.
- He was allegedly drafted by Elway as a favour to his uncle Jim, and was actually on track to start if Case Keenum didn’t improve.
- On the subject of gone insane from the pain deep inside, Everson Griffen has apparently sorted out his demons & returned to the Vikings.
- He will return to practice, and decisions will be made weekly about his gameday availability.
- “The main focus isn’t getting Everson ready to play,” coach Mike Zimmer said at his morning news conference. “I’m sure some people in this room have dealt with some of these things. I don’t think it’s as unique as we make it out to be.
- Y’know what? It actually sounds like they are taking his needs into account. Good for them, and him. Belichick would’ve just cut him & thrown him on the Hernandez pile.
- He will return to practice, and decisions will be made weekly about his gameday availability.
.@EversonGriffen’s statement on his return to the #Vikings. pic.twitter.com/40l6zHbhb9
— Minnesota Vikings (@Vikings) October 23, 2018
- The bell has tolled for Week 15 & 16 games being flexed from Sunday to Saturday night, and onto the NFL Network:
- December 15:
- Houston Texans at New York Jets at 4:30 p.m. ET.
- Cleveland Browns at the Denver Broncos at 8:20 p.m. ET.
- December 22:
- Washington [Redacteds] at Tennessee Titans at 4:30 p.m. ET
- Baltimore Ravens at Los Angeles Chargers at 8:20 p.m. ET
- December 15:
- Hearing the silence so loud on the Le’Veon Bell front, Steelers WR JuJu Smith-Schuster decided to take matters into his own hands.
JuJu Smith-Schuster bought 100-plus Mega Millions tickets this week. As his interview concluded, he said, "I tried to win it so we could get Le'Veon back. It didn't work."
— Jeremy Fowler (@JFowlerESPN) October 24, 2018
- You’ll find this SHOCKING!, but it appears Jon Gruden might also be losing the locker room.
- The “anyone could go at anytime” ethos that has taken over the team has left players on edge, since each no longer feels a part of the main, and wondering how much they should care since it looks like after the season most of them might be gone.
- Time marches on.
- “I think many of us realize we won’t be here next year,” a player told The Athletic. “We are just waiting to see if we will be here next week…You have to wonder if we haven’t been playing for draft picks all along,” the player said. “Despite everything the coaches told us at training camp.”
- The “anyone could go at anytime” ethos that has taken over the team has left players on edge, since each no longer feels a part of the main, and wondering how much they should care since it looks like after the season most of them might be gone.
Well, I’ve beaten the metaphor long enough.
James?
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB:
- Dodgers at Red Sox – 8:00PM | FOX / Sportsnet
- NHL:
- Maple Leafs at Jets – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet1
- Lightning at Avalanche – 9:30PM | NBCSN
- Canucks at Golden Knights – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
- NBA:
- Mavericks at Hawks – 7:15PM | ESPN
- T-wolves at Raptors – 7:30PM | TSN
- 76ers at Bucks – 9:35PM | ESPN
- It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia – 10:00PM | FXX
- The tagline for the episode is: “Super Bowl LII from Charlie’s perspective”. SOLD!
Well, now for the equal time component as mandated in the DFO Charter:
OH YEAH!
GO BIRDS
-Alfred Hitchcock
Oh, Christ, now you’ve done it.
Sill in 3, 2,…
look at those hips sway……
‘Sup Lil?
Spurs making a push here in the 3rd. The Pacers are being rowdy.
[“He’ll have to leave before they drain the swamp.”]
New Secretary of Defense
Ted Cruz was has always been “awkward”
Funny, they don’t look bluish.
Top Heavy or Abs Heavy? WHO YOU GOT?
A sandwich?
HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
“If you want to look thin, hang out with fat people”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6W2tXk6yBs
Do they have a website?
Indiana.gov
Here in LA they have Vin Scully doing an ad supporting a Children’s Hospital ballot proposition. I mean how could you possibly vote against that?
“Taking money away from teenagers hospitals?. Nope. Not gonna let that happen.”
-Donald J. Trump
Depends on whether they are going to allow brown children to use it.
Top 3 John Carpenter
Big Trouble in Little China
The Thing
Halloween but Starman is underrated
Big Trouble was fucking amazing.
You forgot this gem:
(after James Woods fights a priest)
Jack Crow: Can I ask ya somethin, Padre? When I was kickin your ass back there… you get a little wood?
The Thing
They Live
Escape From New York
Big Trouble gets my honorable mention.
This is correct.
I’m on record as giving Juan Carpenter a 9.5 out of 10 for “Repairing The Back Steps”.
Didn’t his half cousin make My Secret Garden?
There should be no I in Puig
Stupid image did nae work.
As you were.
Rivers Family looking nice
That dog has seen some shit.
You captured the look on his face perfectly.
Nightmare dog has had it with this life.
You could also speil it without the “u”.
Alright, whose Uncle sent those packages to CNN and Obama?
False flag! Or rather, FALSE FLAG!
You spelled “Gay Frogs” wrong. smgdh
It’s amazing that Trump encourages this, his supporters agree that this is totally a thing that someone should do, but when it actually happens it’s a “false flag”.
Chickenshit losers
Jim Beam and Budweiser?
Was a boilermaker THAT hard to make?
I bet Chad bought a big bro-dozer with 8 inch lift and 40 inch tires with his first NFL check. Also, had it modified so he could roll coal and own the libs.
I think you, I, and Yeah Right are the only ones who remember.
Atouk zug-zug Lana!
I read the all of the then published The Clan of the Cave Bear books one summer. I spent my time pumpimg off.
“during worse”
You young kids and your newfangled euphemisms for jerkin’ it.!
i prefer the term “pump off”
edit approved
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJpGLeOhHEE
https://www.cnet.com/news/police-hunt-david-schwimmer-look-alike-schwimmer-responds/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrM1jqoqqr0
Come on Dodgers….please try not to fuck this up.
Can’t do it. Fuck Tommy Lasorda with Gibson’s broken leg.
This is Winchester’s equivalent to burning a jersey.
#PuigYourFriend
THESE BOSTON RED SOX, I CALL THEM KYLE, STAN, AND KENNY DURING THE CIVIL WAR RE-ENACTMENT BECAUSE WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I HATE THOSE GUYS.
And how are you fine people tonight?
Aaand I just woke up Decilitre yelling at the Ice football. SUCK IT TORONTO!!!!
Why would you name your progeny Toronto?
You want him to become a famous adventurer or poker player?
Movies telling you [not] what to do.
Not to quibble, but it seems more like they’re telling you what not to do.
DON’T ARGUE!
YAY! TWO CHRISTMASES!
Fixed.
Fixed? MOOSE IS BOB BARKER! BOB BARKER IS MOOSE!
See above.
see above
Greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat, now it’s below.
Don_T has been busy, huh?
I knew Judo was a contact sport based on a strict discipline, but…..
Yes please. Can we shower first darling?
The morticians gave up after six hours of trying to get the silly grin off his face…
*her
I don’t assume gender identification, based on appearance, unlike some people.
It’s from a women’s match, but you are right; they may not have tested.
I’ll Sweep whatever, where ever you want lady
Los Dodgers suck?
AYEESSS TA AYEESSS
“Why is he running away from those hot dogs? Are they made out of tofu?”
– Andy Reid
Yeah, put a camera controlled by facebook into your house, what ill could possible come from that?
pictures of your sister showering?
“Mom, it’s getting hard to breathe in here.”
“It’s okay, honey. Be there in a few.”
If you kick these cats a few dozen times it’ll fix the problem. Trust me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrgbZlE7q7k
Wow Tits McGee at the end there.
You trying to generate business?
Night lighting at Fenway makes David Price look green. I know that Bahstahn isn’t always friendly toward brown people, but lighting them badly is just a step too far.
Nawt Raycess!!!!!!
Her inability to do this is why Hillary lost the rural vote.
Just kidding the hick voting bloc in this country would literally have voted for Ayatollah Khomeni over her.
I wouldn’t want to touch the Orange One’s tiny little hand, either – who knows where it’s been.
According to the scratches on the boxcar, Jim Tomsula will be ‘wintering’ this year in a mobile double-thick cardboard box under off-ramp 44 and visitors should bring items of clothing.
Don’t get an erection during the game.
Fun fact: “Green Monster!” is what Andy Reid woke up screaming when he had a nightmare about getting attacked by a giant head of lettuce.
Hahahahahaha
WWE could be so good if Vince could just let the wrestlers do their thing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1Yeyen2mMc
They should fully embrace evil and unveil a new wrestler called “Bonesaw” during their next cash-collecting trip to the Middle East.
They could give Becky Lynch the nickname Bonesaw, but the world press would probably write an editorial praising that decision.
For those non-wrestling fans, Becky Lynch is a female wrestler who recently turned evil, but the fans love her so much, they refuse to boo her and cheer her every action. She could say Uproxx rocks, and the DFO Overlords would put her comment on the top page.
The Saudi Arabia thing fucks with me more than I thought it would. I didn’t watch the first propaganda house show, but I didn’t cancel my sub or anything, but when I found out they were going the second time, I let the sub lapse and with everything the past few weeks, I’m completely turned off the product, which is awesome since Vince has gathered up like 90% of the best wrestlers in the world. Fortunately, there are basically infinite alternatives to fill the void, but shit like Evolution where I want to watch but can’t bring myself to are rough, especially when Vince is gonna be having drinks with people who probably want to murder the entire Evolution line up.
I got turned off after that show. It was a glorified house show and I got tired of them pushing “Vince’s guys/gals” over everyone else.
Take Evolution, half the wrestlers that made the woman’s division is being stuck in the midcard, there is no Women’s Tag Team Championship (which would make the show), the reason for the Diva’s Revolution is being retconned so far it makes Superboy-Prime punching the walls of reality logical by comparison, and one of the fighters in the championship match represents what was wrong with the Diva’s Division in the first place.
I love how the Colts’ defense has become my “secret weapon” in fantasy.
That said, it’s really hard deciding whether to start them or the Patriots, who are facing the Bills.
This Ice football game is awful, time for dirt football.
My employees are striking tomorrow get stoned and work from home for me!
Evening peoples.
Good news: I did not fracture the ball joint! But I did tear my labrum. Thankfully surgery isn’t required, however I’m in a sling for 6 weeks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmxubrhW9fc
Important question:
Does this affect your… private time?
Gonna learn to switch hit. Or Mrs Sharkbait will have to pinch hit.
You’re waiting until NOW to figure this out? Jesus, man, you should have started training for this when you turned fifteen!
Congratulations on opening up your relationship to become a slinger.
Will you be ready in time for spring training?
“We’re a football organization, not a community support service center.”
—Bill Belichick
I guess you could say the Broncos really took it on the chin when it came to Kelly
Why is no one talking about David Price’s gravity boots?
Howdy y’all. Everybody have ein interessant Kristalltag?
As someone mentioned last night, Hugh Grant is an idiot:
I’m guessing that Hugh gets more tail than Geoffrey Chaucer.
Hollywood hooker tail?
You see the joke i…….. never mind.
Ok, Jane Seymour looks really really hot in Live and Let Die.
Blue-white star hot.
Jane Seymour looks really really hot, period.
I’d have stacked the tarot deck just like Roger Moore did.
I may or may not have stolen that trick to my advantage in my youth to great effect.
Folks.
Thing that prompts or encourages someone; an incentive.
I feel like the fortunes of the Raiders are a leading indicator for the Dow Jones Index.
(another installment of Redshirt’s Adventures at Work)
Redshirt: “I’m taking over for someone who’s quitting.”
Dept. Head: “Great! With us working together, we should fix the problems being caused by your department.”
Redshirt: “That’s an interesting greeting. What are we messing up?”
Dept. Head: “When you guys remove stuff, you don’t tell us.”
Redshirt: “Well maybe we’d tell you if your person responsible for the stuff would actually be at her desk instead of being who knows where doing God knows what.”
Dept. Head: “There’s no need to assign blame here.”
Redshirt: “I suddenly realize why the person I’m replacing is quitting.”
I’ll try to summarize the last bit of negotiations-
Union: [tries to pull a fast one]
Me: [too dumb to know what they’re doing, calls their bluff unintentionally]
Union: [makes ‘very last offer’] “Refuse this and we’re headed to conciliation/arbitration(?)”
Me: [figures out the previous bluff, makes changes to ‘final offer’] “This is my line in the sand sort of thing.”
Union: “We’ve got a deal.”
/after 3 days of back and forth, can someone come over here and massage my frayed nerves?
Now all you have to do is assassinate their leader while he’s watching a play and you’re done!
Oh you’re management. In that case, you need some head-crackin’ union busters. Watch out, those commie strikers may use baseball bats to hold up their flags and placards:
Strikebreakers should be required by contract, even today, to wear those same hats.
Those UAW guys are smiling so pleasantly, even the chubby guy second from right. Here he is a few moments later:
Mmm…Union negotiations…
Make some concessions.
I will concede my penis.
Wait is that allowed?
Ronald Reagan would be proud.
The Swag Wagon did a pretty damn good Thelma and Louise impersonation.
I think it is interesting that with both the Chad Kelly and Everson Griffen situations, no one dares mention the elephant in the room, that perhaps having young men spending most of their childhood exchanging concussions might…you know…lead to serious mental issues down the road…
I find irony in that it’s the crazy black guy who got help and the entitled white kid who got fired.
Things are finally turning around in Trump’s America.
Yeah except they will probably try to use his mental health issues to take away Griffen’s right to vote.
Bob’s Burgers is the best show ever. The Breakfast Club homage is on right now. So good.
Wanted to be sharp for union negotiations so I haven’t imbibed since Thursday. Let the magic happen , alcohol!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shNX0obqRBM
The trick is to use baseball bats to hold up your flags and placards:
Ahh, the Greek protests. The smell of flaming Ouzo & burning hair.
Is that Travis Barker?
oh, you best believe I will be tuned in live!