There’s some sporto-related tidbits out there on the innerwebs so I thought I’d share-
Terrell Owens: Having finished his daily driveway workout, Mr. Owens told the cat lady at the corner that Eli Manning is ‘all washed up’. The rest of his day was spent arguing with drive-thru clerks at the major burger chains.
Hue Jackson: The ex-Browns coach rode the rails with Jim Tomsula and Ben McAdoo. The Hobo Daily News reports that Hue is said to be coming around on fried raccoon.
Jack Patera: The Seattle Seahawks very first coach will be tossing/catching salmon at a fish market in upstate Washington. He passed at the age of 85.
Willie McCovey: “Big Mac”, the owner of 521 home runs said farewell to this mortal coil.
Jameis Winston: Asked about his benching, Winston said a number of adult things. I’ll assume that tomorrow he’ll insist that he was mis-quoted.
TO THE GAME!
Raiders/Niners:
In a game “featuring” two one-win sides, tonight is all about Nick Mullen. As an undrafted free agent from Southern Mississippi newly-released from the practice squad, this is the first game that Nick has played in several years that actually matters. This tasty 6 foot 1 inch, 213 pounder has never packed groceries so you can forget about him being the second coming of the husband of Brenda Warner. No doubt he’ll be introduced to what passes for the Niners receiving corps at some point during the first quarter. Erwin Rommel was asked about Mullen being thrown to the Care Bears that is is the Raiders D-his reply was, “That’s quality tanking!”
Wipe the ‘anticipation spittle’ from the sides of your mouth before typing please.
I know a lot of you miss The Canada (heck, you don’t miss it, you already live there). I sometimes miss the United States.
There are currently four (4) uniformed police officers arresting someone immediately below our apartment. Like we can see them through the window.
Sia looks like shit
I am looking at his SPACE. PANTS.
I turned down Russell Peters tickets to go drink & play snooker with my Everton neighbour. I believe I made the right decision.
That drunk, eh?
Peters stopped being funny years ago and his book made him come across as creepy. So yeah, smart move
Good to know; we will consult you so we can know whats funny and what isn’t in the future.
Good thing I got Netflix then
I just noticed James killer Sprocket dude’s dad.
Tony Bennett may age, but, that voice cannot be killed by conventional weaponry.
It goes up several octaves when he has something rammed up his butt.
Tequila is definitely that drink.
Derek Carr looks like he got stood up for a Bauhaus concert.
Some possible names for my strip club empire-to-be:
Strip – A Balls Joint
The Jiggly Wiggly
The Wild Mint King Hippo
Casa de Butts
Pechonalidad
Thoughts?
The first one works better if it’s a male strip club.
/ takes notes for possible expansion
Twin Peaks and the Valley of Fur
Casa de Butt’s gets all my money.
Bill Parcells would like an all-Asian joint called Slippery Nips.
Wouldn’t it be Slippery Slopes?
My Coat’s The Only Thing That’s Blue
PECHONALIDAD ???
/checks score.
The best part about being mostly indifferent to the NFL is that I will no longer sit through games like tonight.
Thanks a lot, Fuhrer Ging!
ONE OF US, ONE OF US!
The End
Sweet Jeezus. SF/NYG next Monday? Why does the league hate us so?
They played that really good game in the WC round like what, 12 years ago? SO RELEVANT to schedule-making!
She seems nice
Easiest bet I’ve seen in a long time.
Niners…win? OK then.
UK broadcast just made the swiss cheese comparison to the Raiders O line
Oh, God. PFT Commenter made a Cum Town joke.
So I’m not the only person who’s tired of him, right?
I never really got into him. I know it was satire, but trying to read his posts was annoying as fuck
He still insists the joke is on the people he’s mocking even though those people fully embrace him because he’s paid by a site that enables those people’s worst impulses.
The Joe Flacco thing was really all that was ever that funny.
Yeah. He sucks.
Yeah, he ran his course. I wish him all the best, but I ain’t reading that stuff anymore
I’ve been wandering in and out, because this game is such hot garbage, but any word on the guy who injured his arm so bad that when I hollered in to ask what happened my son answered “I don’t know, but I think that’s his thumb.”?
Rotowire says forearm, and was Mostert.
I didn’t see it, but the impression I had was that the thumb was sticking out of his forearm.
Which isn’t good.
yeah, and I know sommet about thumbs being put places they ought not be
good thing I am too tired for the Jiggle Hut ,, smh
Of all the ways that could have ended, that’s actually not bad.
No anal for a week though. That’s a tragedy.
Says who?I’d take that challenge.
Still would bang
It’s not like she can run away anymore.
It’s even boat-related!
I don’t think he had to worry about crowd noise in Santa Clara…
I remember a couple years ago after Carr had led the Raiders to an improbable win, right before he had his good season, and him praising Jesus no end for the victory. I wonder if he now wonders why the Lord has forsaken him.
Because Joe Biden touches you at night.
Baby is the least age-inappropriate match for that lady.
I think that’s gramps.
Joe Biden: When You Want Your Gropey Politician to Have a 100 Megawatt Smile
Joe’s just testing if the young ‘un is fit for the papacy.
He’s turned into The Mole from the South Park movie.
Russel Wilson said god had him throw the INT in the SB to make him stronger.
Jesus, what a tool!
Carr will be REALLY strong.
NO!!! Breida!!
WOMP WOMP
Something about not sticking his finger in the right dike.
Fuck. Even I’m down for some weed right now.
WOW, they even let DeAndre Washington play!
Sometimes its the dolphins getting raped.
I miss ol’ Boxcar
AJ McCarron time???
He tried sneeking out, but security wouldn’t let him.
Musberger is the Raiders radio PBP dude. He’s still stalking her.
Cosbies within 2!
Temple QB stuffed on 3rd and short, not the first time i’ve seen a Russo licked like that.
I admire Eufrat’s work as well
Who would……. that be?
Google calls her a “film actress.”
Hmmmmmmm………. I wouldn’t know……
great depth imo
SHANKLORR!
HAIL SHANK’LOR
Holy shit, the Hanna/Andrea feed is way behind!
Praise Shanklor!
“Aw, I’d love to take credit, but this kid’s been doing it all on his own.” – Shan’khor
DONK!
Nice double roundhouse kick right there.
this may be your most apt gif
You know…I just had a thought…in about four season, Chuckie could end up with a worse winning percentage than Hue.
I’m sure to fire him, the cost to the Raiders has to be huge. So if the Raiders just continue to be garbage, they have to keep him around for the majority of his contract right?
they should keep him in a cage in their stadium-adjacent nightclub
Ten years. He’s signed for ten years.
that FUMBRE made me cackle out loud
DOINK!!!
/now doubled over
I probably won’t feel this way in the morning, but right now I’m hoping the Raiders decide to rebrand when they get to Vegas so I can quit this garbage franchise.
You’re really looking for an excuse?
JUST DO IT!
– Nike
She is lovely.
His spank bank just got a deposit.
He thinks the girl is hot too.
I think we’re all winners here…
We’re only now getting to the 4th??
I have taken mah Benadryl. What happens, happens.
I’m loving the fact the Jags version of this is already sold out:
https://www.groupon.com/deals/gg-nfl-silk-touch-bath-robe-for-men-and-women
of course, Silky knows how to treat his bitches!
Some of us could use some Richard and Cook garbage production!