There were some shenanigans out my way that had the locals gums a-flappin’, I’ll tell you what. I’ve got a 40 minute drive to work and on my way there 6 police cruisers, sirens a-blarin’, tore past me on the highway. This is quite unusual in my very quiet, out of the way community of approx. 9,000 yokels. Sure there’s a druggy underbelly that exists but “busts”, if/when they occur, are done on the QT. It took me some time to find out the details but it turns out there was a nutball with a gun running around the street that I grew up on. This just doesn’t occur here. You’ll be relieved to know that he was tracked down by a K-9 unit and gave himself up.
Meanwhile, a business owner ( in the very loosest sense of the word) in the community of 1,100 people where I slave (hah!) away was arrested by a SWAT team and dragged away in cuffs! Northern Ontario Facebook must be on fire right now. DETAILS TO FOLLOW!
TO THE GAME!
Packers/SeaHawks:
One thing not mentioned very often regarding the two qb’s playing tonight is that they both tend to give up a fair amount of sack yardage because, being fellers that can run, they hold on to the ball longer than the average bear. Seattle qb Wilson is second in yards lost with 204 and Rodgers is right behind him with 184. In first? I’ll give you no guesses-you’re right, it’s Eli. First round rb Rashaad Penney had himself a day last week vs. the Rams vaunted d-line so expect his touches to increase as the season plays itself out. Rodgers’ young, explosive play-makers have already spread their wings. Aaron Jones and Bird Law expert Marquez Valdes-Scantling have already put the giddy-up in the Packers O.
Tons of sports offerings tonight for all y’all eyebulbs. Let’s chat. GO SILLYCUSE!
You can see why the ND player never expected he could be called for a penalty.
Evening Folks.
My fellow Americans suck
Yes they do, and most times not in the good literal way.
My Little Bleeps: Censorship is Magic (legitimate unchanged broadcast in Canada) The censored word is at 13 seconds.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJv13F8lWYI
Eh, doesn’t have the same humor without the censorship noise
Terry Bradshaw is talkin some genuine frontier gibberish.
You mentioned someone so I needed some brain wash.
Goodness
ON HIS HOME PLANET HE SOUNDS NORMAL
I think Russell Wilson was possessed by the ghost of Alex Smith there. Either that, or he forgot his stepladder and couldn’t see over his O line to the endzone.
He’s out of bubble water?
One of the snowflakes that works for me pulled her calf muscle at the gym. Might not come into work tomorrow.
What in the fucking FUCK? Rub some goddamn ben gay on that shit and get your ass in here.
I blame your boss for installing those standing treadmill desks.
When I was working in the saw mill and had no sick time and needed vacation time to actually recover from work, I used to do shit like wrap my hand to hide the fact I’d sanded off the back of my pinky so I wouldn’t have to worry about losing time/getting fired. Now I get 3 weeks vacation, 2 personal days, and 10 sick days a year, so if it’s excessively cloudy out, I might make it a me day.
So you’re saying you were a shitty saw mill worker.
“1, 2, 3, 4, ……20, 21. Nope.
I’m saying saw mills are insanely dangerous. I saw a dude get his hand pulled up into a miter saw blade and get his hand cut almost clean in half from the top down. I was blowing sawdust out of a camera lens on an automated crosscut saw and didn’t notice a warped board that was only planed on the bottom side getting fed in. The curved end caught my hand and forced it up against a hold-down wheel, it held for about a second, and then in the next, the skin gave and the rough board sanded the back of a few fingers down past the nerves, so it didn’t hurt until a few weeks later when it super fucking hurt. It happened right before the lunch bell, so I hauled ass home and taped the shit out of my hands and came back and worked with a glove on a feeder machine which is insanely more dangerous than just working with a couple fucked up fingers, but hey, can’t let the dipshit bosses see it because they can’t wait to boot a motherfucker out for minor injuries.
Holy shit. You’re a braver man than I. And yeah, I’m WAY too big a pussy to work in a saw mill.
One day I’ll tell you guys some nuclear submarine engineroom stories.
When I did my lumber grading cert, the instructor was some old motherfucker whose favorite pastime was telling the class about the many people he saw die in shitty unsafe lumber yards and factories often because someone pushed a button 1/1000 of a second too early. Also fun was that at mandatory monthly meetings we had to go over the details of any production-related deaths in the state from that month. Towards the end of my stay there, I spent a lot of time working with the boilers and furnaces and silos by myself and it became a habit to daydream about all the ways I could just die and have no one notice until the next shift comes around.
Brick was exposed to heavy doses of radiation.
I would eat radiation for breakfast.
Of course.
It absolutely turned me into the asshole at work that openly mocks everyone who calls in and to the savages that worked in that place, *I* was the dipshit pussy millennial who had it too easy.
Hey man, your voice sounds a little rough. You feeling OK?
There are no bad students, only bad teachers.
I pulled mine stretch/yawning getting out of bed this am. Put some pills on it and get to work!
I have never found that woman attractive. Until now.
Really? She give me a straight up comedy boner.
*not entirely straight, but you know.
Back, and to the left.
Well, yes.
The oldest Fozz Spawn has his first high school dance Saturday night. Time to show him the old moves. By that I mean, get drunk, throw up, forget date at the dance, pass out in bushes.
Damn; that was my move too!!
Obviously, unless he’s some kinda queer or whatever.
Ah, the old basket weave.
“Hey, where’s his neck?”
– someone looking at Aaron Rodgers using a camoflage towel as a scarf
OR
– a doctor examining Ryan Shazier’s x-rays
Looks like Aaron Jones will this years league winner in fantasy.
Hello my droogs, who’s ready for some of the old nasty?
(drops trou, hooks up jumper cables)
Fun Fact: I had a little of the old In-Out this past weekend.
Double double, animal-style? How was the meat?
I firmly believe that the only reason to order anything animal style is because it sounds cool.
I’m not an onion fan, so yes. The double-double just needs pickles, then it’s perfect.
Oh, he meant…….. I thought we were back on Korean porn.
Did he say anything about kimchi farts?
that can hurt the urethra
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXIw1BvfEQ8
Don’t talk about my dick that way.
I have to work 10 hours tomorrow. I’m allowed to get drunk after hour 8, right?
After?
8? What the fuck is this? Rookie Night? Your ass better be blackout drunk by hour 3.
So question, your name: Are you like a Bridezilla but instead of weddings, you’re insufferable at wakes after funerals?
As a qualified airline pilot and brain surgeon, I say go ahead and drink.
There are skill points in Spyro 1? Oh, fuck yes. Why can’t I have free time between now and Thanksgiving to go buy me a PS4 and also Spyro?
I upgraded to the one x and I’m trying to be a big boy and not immediately run off and buy a ps4 as soon as the black friday sales start, but I will fail
fun game
Absolutely.
Mr Rodger brought his fucking A game tonight.
It’s his neighborhood.
Are they just not going to call holding against GB tonight?
Do they ever call holding on Green Bay?
/Still has nightmares about the penultimate time the Packers played the Dolphins and how the Packers were tackling the Dolphins’ d-line on the last drive to win the game.
It was straight out of Madden when the computer decides it wants to score
I think you’re just salty about how Rodger’s beat you with Marino’s signature move
[sigh]
-V.M. Denver
Okay, I will at least grant Tide credit for the joke about Joe thinking that Troy is his friend. Delivery was terrible, but the concept is solid.
Added verisimilitude would be achieved if Troy gave Joe a wedgie. Or punched his fucking lights out.
Except Troy in HD is weird somehow. Maybe it’s all the concussions.
Where is his other hand?
Under a Buck.
OH THOSE FAKE TIDE ADS ARE WONDERFUL
A A Ron has lots o time here.
being against Aaron Jones and Aaron Rodgers in fantasy feels doubleplus ungood
They are both beasts. In different ways. And with different dates. I mean, sorry.
TRUTH!
Seems like we’ve got another one of those weird TNF games that’s pretty good. I’m sure Trump will take credit.
Well we know he isn’t out paying respect to veterans of wars past.
Or present, for that matter.
You two gots the combo punch there.
Did you know Mueller’s people are desperate and yelling at everyone?
They just need tacos.
This is a pretty amazing gif.
so much economic anxiety
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/muckraker/federal-prosecutors-request-pretrial-detention-jeffrey-clark-neo-nazi
Fuck this guy with a golem.
TIDE IS TURNING MOTHERFUCKERS. LOTS MORE PEOPLE SEE YOU NOW.
Those Tide ads annoy me as much as they do the rest of you.
Evening all. Gonna get crunk on this Indictment Eve.
Who wants a Japanese pickup truck that throws you out of it and busts through fences and could conceivable harm or kill you? If I buy one, I will name it “Chlistine.”
Demonic Toyota Hilux? Those things’ll survive anything, Top Gear proved it.
Clitscene is a different pickup.
Does it smell like girl panties? I assume everything Japanese does.
Those used ones are such a scam!
Someone told that anyway.
Yeah, if I’m gonna pay $600 to a vending machine, I need to see certification.
Carrolls gameplan has taken the air out of the ball, stadium, and the universe.
#LooseChange
Can’t burn jet fuel without air…
Now the ball will be as flat as the planet.
Just turtles, all the way down. WELCOME TO THE MCCONNELLVERSE.
Aliens, just saying.
There is still that neutering resentment.
Imdb does a very poor job of indexing Korean softcore movies. Just sayin’.
https://softcore69.com/category/korean
Aaah, I got this from somebody who has a problem, I don’t watch that stuff.
It took a whole three minutes for them to send it.
See, that’s my point. I never would have known there was a Young Mother 3 if all I relied on was IMDB.
Pretty sure that’s not their specialty……
[beats off to movie trivia]
So we are in salute the troops month, did I miss Pink NFL month or have they muted it?
[Redacted tasteless domestic violence joke]
17 in the first q is nice, but knowing we should’ve had 24 is making the old estomago a bit gurgle-y.
Seattle is flat as fuck, and GB is going to start leaning on the run game.
Rikki, you need to watch some Dooooook b-ball. You can’t vanquish your enemy without studying the habits of their King.
It is absolutely obscene that Eli Manning will likely end his career with more Super Bowl wins than Aaron Rodgers.
I know it’s very popular to hate on Eli, especially at the end here, but for me he’ll always have a warm place because P*ts.
It was like watching a Special Olympian win gold in the regular Olympics.
he just kep’ on run-ning!
I meant that more of a disparagement of Green Bay’s ownership.
I can dig that.
Dope beats.
I was at the fail mary game and they refused to show the replay in the stadium. When every filtered out to Pioneer Square, Packers fans were losing their minds when they were watching replays on tv’s in bars. It was superb.
I don’t see how any non-Masshole can watch Dreamboat play and seriously believe he’s even nearly as good as A.A. Ron. Just ridiculous.
I was just thinking the same thing myself. No way could have Brady made that play. And I’m a Masshole.
Tawwmmy is better at the mental game is several respects, but physically; not anywhere near Rodgers.
If by “mental game” you mean “having a way better coach”, then I agree
he’s more of a system technician (but a very good one, like Montana), instead of a QB God like Rodgers (who is more like a better Elway)
He reads and reacts to defenses, studies, etc., etc. as well as anyone in the game. They were very lucky to find each other. I hate them with a white hot rage, but one needs to acknowledge what they are.
I’m some guy by the name of Tonian. Fantasy folks call me “The Vulture”. I don’t know why.
Newt?
Ant?
You see Newtonian and an independent invention of calcu….. never mind.
Fuck you.
—Gottfried Leibniz
Exactly, Gottsy calls him the Vulture.
I’m sorry…but there was like two blatant holds by the Packers’ offensive line on that play.
The Packers offensive line to the Seahawks: “I LEARNED IT FROM YOU, DAD!!!”
fucking hell, that was a throw
Just caught the replay, 55 yards in the air, back across his body running in the opposite direction. Fucking hell…
why does that Jimi Hendrix statue look like he’s holding in a painful shit?
That’s what killed Elvis.
Well, it was the last thing….
He’s listening to his music while not on drugs.
I enjoy when a team goes for 4th and short, makes it, and still ends up kicking a FG.
Nice allegory to the futility cycle of life.
You should have never let her tie you up.
Sooooo Russ doesn’t run OR throw the ball downfield well either?
but he LEADS!
Seriously. Is something wrong with him? He just threw that ball 6 feet over (a WIDE OPEN) Doug Baldwin’s head. Is Carroll withholding injury information on him?
Agreed; uncharacteristic of that fucker.
would explain that “hide the QB” playcalling in LA
/also surely nothing a little fizzy water wouldn’t heal
Is this your first Seattle game?
They almost beat the Rams last week!
So, in order to have some surgery performed next month, I have to be off nicotine for 30 days. I smoked cigarettes for 10 years and have dipped snuff for the last 34. My last dip was Monday morning at 9 AM. It hasn’t been too onerous, but a couple times I’ve felt like Martin Sheen in the first scene of Apocalypse Now.
Use moisturizer.
Interesting story behind that scene.
My “joke” was that later in the film he’s all better with face paint.
When I first dropped caffeine the best description I had of the early days was, “IT’S LIKE THERE’S A BUNCH OF SQUIRRELS RUNNING AROUND IN MY HEAD!”
/things have gotten slightly better since
I broke a coffee pot once too; damn shame that was, still three cups in it.
6 yard route on 3rd and 9. Brilliant.
[nods head]
– Norv Turner
Fuck Mason Crosby.
I can’t believe no one held on that run.
coooool!
I have penny!!!
Evenin commentists. I would request the over on this one please and no Equanimous St. Brown touchdowns.
instead lets cheer for MVS touchdowns!!!
yea!!!!
But TOUCHDOWN ST. BROWN! is such a great call!
Better lucky that good.
Seattle is poopy
shankalor