To borrow from that Lightfoot song that everyone knows, in northern Ontario the winds of November come early. I use that to my advantage. Earlier in the spring I noticed a guy talking to himself by the corner store. I was waiting while my wife was playing her ‘special numbers’. I got out of my pickup, grabbed a twenty from my wallet and stretched the old legs. I walked up to him and said, “I think you need this” and handed over the bill. “I’ll buy some smokes”, was all he said.
Later that summer I spotted him at the entrance of the grocery store I frequent. Still babbling to no one in particular, still in the shabbiest of clothes. I called to him, ‘remember me?’. I think he nodded out of habit, maybe a bit annoyed about his external monologue being interrupted. I tossed him another 20. He looked at it and said, ‘yeah, yeah, yeah…’. It was a good sign that things weren’t getting any better for him.
As I say, November comes round and the little itch has turned into a pounding in my head. I drive by the bus station, the liquor store and the 7/11 on a regular basis. Nothing. You cultivate a crop with care and you expect that the harvest will be bountiful. Couple days later I spot him. He’s shivering under a lamp post downtown. “Hey dude, wanna warm up?” He recognizes me, for that I’m grateful. Makes things easier. He gets in the front seat and I tell him to open the glove compartment so he can have the cigarettes that I bought more than a few weeks ago for this occasion. He’s grateful. He smells just as bad as I thought he would. Maybe worse?
We both don’t talk much. He’s trying to get the feeling back in his toes and I’m wondering why the closed beach seems like the right place. “Ah fuck it” I think, and pull out the pistol and fire into his forehead. His head ricochets against the window, shattering it. Warm blood on my face feels really good. Hope I get back to the garage before anyone notices anything.
TO THE GAME!
Vikes/Bears:
Will Ursa Major or Ursa Minor show their visage ce soir ? The Hippo that we all know be hopin’ it’s the former. After all, there’s money on the line.
I want candy.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to trade for Adam Thielen.
It appears time for me to ironically try some radical waiver deals in FF.
Nine week losing streak, what I got to lose?
Prepare your anuses.
Enough about your week in Florida!
Shhhhh…she’s here with me right now. I don’t want her reading over my shoulder.
I just had to check FF scores.
Which was a mistake. Holy shit.
Have you given your Japanese sex doll a name yet?
Aw, they made the Scorigami friendly 11 a pedestrian 14. BOO!!1!
Bahahahahaha Sanchez!
https://twitter.com/RapSheet/status/1064313655918059520
I’m surprised not to see Catler on that list, too.
How can the NFL say that there is no collusion when they invite Sanchez and Yates.
This game is very reminiscent of Jaguras Stillers
in a way I REALLY DO NOT LIKE
Gotta love the “Chipper, Larry” audible.
Credit where credit is due, Al did identify an excellent block by Jordan Howard
in between gins, he has the occasional insight
Al Michaels’s alcoholism is his only redeeming quality
I wonder if coach Nagy is a nagger.
The category was “people that annoy you…”
*smashes through door while drunk*
I will fight ANYONE who beschmirches the integrity of Mitch THE TRUTH Trubisky!
*jumps through broken door and runs into the night*
Fuck I’m getting old… The kids Coach Duchess coached in little league are about to start playing college ball.
So… basically its been a decade?
I mean I get “getting old” but my older brothers said something similar.
and i’m like, dude, we’re four years apart. you were watching care bears when I was born.
not sure why I’m making fun of you, just, having hit a milestone birthday this past year, I wanna scream I’m not as oldl as people say.
its more of like time flying by. One kid I coached at 7 yrs old and he’s playing for William Mary. One kid I coached, he’s the one I had to over ride the head coach and pull because the kid had a concussion, is now doing college tours.
So now this “hygge” shit is being used to sell home security systems? I feel like that has to be the end of this trend’s 15 minutes.
TD boobs.
lets try this again!
HOT TAEK: The 3 best sides in the NFL are ALL in the NFC.
Wat
Saints, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!, Bearistocrats! I’d put the Chefs 4th right now.
Oh I read that as NFC north and wanted to change your meds
oh yeah, that would be nuts
/by all means, share meds!
French fries, coleslaw, pickles.
what a read by Dingleberry!
td boobs!
found a funny:
What I lack in specificity, I make up for in other stuff.
You would be surprised how many students write like that, where there is no specificity anywhere, and you need the Da Vinci code to figure out what the shit they’re trying to say.
Fuck me, what a catch!
/crew race on smack was a neat celebtration
Anthony Lynn is still making this face
Did I hear a Trubitsky out of Al?
(Soldier Field PA system) Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli, will you please pick up a yellow courtesy phone?
The good news is whoever loses this game probably gets the Redacteds in the WC round. Bad news is, one goes to N’Awlins the following week.
I really do think Trubisky is a high functioning ret….special young man – hell of an athlete, though
The fact that Trubinsky has so many Bears passing records is evidence that:
(a) he’s very good;
(b) all passing stats are inflated in today’s NFL;
(c) the Bears have a history of shitty QBs;
(d) some combination?
Erik Kramer and Catler are probably the 2 best QBs of the modern era. So….
(for the Bears, ya know)
Well it takes two to tango. Brandon Marshall played 45 games for the Bears and has the 7th most recieving TDs in Bears History
They haven’t really had any good QBs over the past 50 years.
gaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
bees in your ass, too?
CAPPPPPTAINNNNNN DINGLEBERRRRRY!
GUYS!! Imagine this team…but with DIT-KA!
I’d rather take nagy with the 85 bears.
It took so much white ethnic genius, to have a bloodthirsty murderers’ row defense that would have invaded Panama if Buddy Ryan asked, and STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY. //ppl forget that
So dumber?
Eagles fans legit asking if it’s time to fire Doug Pederson 9 months after winning a Super Bowl, in a division they can win just by winning all remaining division games.
The common clay of the old East
“Oh, don’t worry,” Eagles fans assured us. “We won’t turn into entitled shits like Patriots fans.”
“I miss buddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy”
Tuning in late, if the Bears are up 3-0, I presume Parkey has had 4 attempts?
The crowd really cheered when he made the kick
and then he sharted the kickoff out of bounds
-Ron Howard voice over
Da BEARS!!
I wish no ill will on the Vikings. I just really want Kirk Cousins to fail spectacularly.
Isn’t that like wishing for the sun to rise tomorrow?
If there was a game for him to have a clunker, I’d want this one because I started Mariota who proceeded to get hurt and now I’m irked.
/Still have Kelce, Hill, and Gurley against tWBS’s Jordan Howard here on out +9.44
this is a special day,anyone who asks nicely for a flag gets one
Is Oprah refereeing?
at halftime, she releases the bees!
feed cuts back from this aaron rodgers boise ad to collinsworth masturbating furiously
Speaking of B-movies, the weekend news reporters and anchorpersons on the local Fox channel in Los Angeles are practically cartoon characters.
are you sure you didn’t just get really high and watch a recording of last years thanksgiving parade?
and there was much rejoicing
oh jeeze.
is anyone else’s feed going in and out?
you are having a stroke from masturbating too hard
That’s only very terrifying.
Yeah, but he’ll never wet the bed again.
Bollo de la Verdad!
poor chris collinsworth. he doesn’t have a god tier quarterback to knob gobble during the game.
Wouldn’t that be 16/16?
Ha ha that was great! I love killing hobos too!
let he among us who hath not killed a hobo cast the first stone!
/just kidding, save them stones fer hoboes
Scotchnaut best hope he doesn’t meet up with this guy.
Rutger Hauer: King of the B-Movies
All those B-movie moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
Little known fun fact: Technical advisor on this movie? Jim Tomsula.
Umm do we have to call the RCMP on Scotchy?
President Trump would like to offer him a position at HUD in homeless outreach.
Kids have started decorating for Christmas. The house looks like a glitter bomb went off. Had almost got rid of if from last year and it’s back.
Dear Mr. Hippo,
I love, honor and respect you and wish nothing but the best in all of life’s endeavors except for tonight.
FUCK the Bears.
I basically took my entire betting balance on my account and went all in.
SKOL!
Regardless of my own fandom, I really gotta wonder how any rational human being can feel comfortable on the vikings in any circumstance.
much like the washington generals, they don’t when, even when they’re due
There are only a handful of times when I’m comfortable with them. Division games mostly and always against Chicago and Detroit.
Skol!
hee hee
This aged well
https://twitter.com/pftcommenter/status/971189165915344896
Folks calling in to the Cards postgame show are t even mad, just dejected. Want to know if bringing in James Betcher as HC would have meant Bruce Arians would have been bringing up Rosen.
These are the cries of a people who deserve to see their team shipped off to LA.
I know a guy can help out with cleaning up your pickup truck.
Harvey Kietel’s character in Pulp Fiction not getting a Spin Off is one of the greatest tragedies in 1990s cinema.
I forget the name of the movie but his character did show back up in another movie. I think he died trying to murder a girl.
Not the same character, but similar. The movie you reference actually came out before Pulp Fiction.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Point_of_No_Return_(1993_film)
Same can be said for Jesus Quintana (Lebowski) and Sergeant Dignam (The Departed).
something about this picture makes it look like tarintino’s character is photoshopped in
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyqTkJWigRU
If it Hand Solo, then why are the two chicks and Wookie there with him?
Watch it. It’s SFW.
I hope so. I don’t think the Mods are asleep at 6:52 PM Central time on a Sunday evening.
Maybe on Thanksgivings evening. They may be in a Turkey Coma then.
We have mods?
For the most part I think they’re undercover. DFO Political Officers if you will.
It’s a lazy robot that has the eyesight and judgment of a NFL referee.