Have we eaten all of our digestive cookies that were dipped in Pepto? Good. It’s time for round two or three of drinking. But make room for that turkey sandwich on sourdough bread with non-E. coli lettuce and fresh-cracked black pepper and Hellman’s Mayo or somesuch. If you abominate that holy treasure with Miracle Whip we can no longer be pretend friends. If you know your history, Miracle Whip was invented by Pol Pot’s grandfather after he witnessed a Leopard regurgitate a Sun Bear’s afterbirth. That’s something that the good folks in Kraft Foods marketing department rarely make mention of and rightly so. Uh, maybe a slice of cheese also. Not that ‘American’ cheese either. Did you know… What? Oh. There’s a tilt on tonight? Right.
TO THE GAME!
Falcons/Saints:
Atlanta’s super stud lb Deion Jones was going to be ready for this game having been lifted off IR but he’s a no-go. Not that he’d make much of a difference against this year’s version of Drew Brees. The 39 year old six footer that was once knocked as being too short for the game is flinging the ball at the intended target and being successful at it 77% of the time. Yeah, the passing game has become all that more complex and sophisticated in this here day and age but Brees is the master at the moment. Let’s hope that Ryan is on-we know Julio will get his. I’m hoping wr Ridley will as well.
Somebody rub my back for good luck.
Wayne Gretzky’s Pinot Grigio is fantastic. I paired it with a soft, white cheese and garlic crackers. It was excellent. Oh my god, I polished off a bottle and am pretty drunk. Shit, tomorrow at work is going to be brutal. Freaking room’is spinning
Someday they may get their revenge…… until then; SANDWICHES!!
Damn right. I ain’t never seen the price of acorns go down.
Last time; 1889.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=77&v=bFBx3qYGxL8
“Whiskey” the Whippet.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/2018-national-dog-show-whiskey-the-whippet-named-best-in-show-thanksgiving-day-purina-nestle-the-american-kennel-club/
Maybe if I just purge.
There was a rap song with the line “by the time I get to _________” and I can’t recall what it is. Driving me fucking crazy
Public Enemy had one about the time they get to Arizona.
that came up in Google, but was sure it was sommet else. My brain is just liquid shit.
and was totes right:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrFOb_f7ubw
One imagines that the AZ nudie bars are really excellent.
So far in my travels, OR has had the bestest
What Titty bars were good in AZ? I might be going there in February for a stag
c’mon, blax hook a BRUTHA UP!!
You need to go to the ones near truck stops with 40 year old meth heads that have bad tattoos because THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT.
ah mean, ah DO like ’em thin…
OK, maybe some of these are just drinkers then.
yeah, that does quite a bit different to the 40-y/o body
RTD: I’m making ham and cheese on toasted baguette slices, do you want some?
DMDEsq: No. Just a piece of cheese toast.
RTD: Just one?
DMDEsq: Yeah.
[one hour later]
DMDEsq: Why am I hungry?
You married a law-talkin-person? There’s your mistake right there.
I thinking eating too much may just turn into something else tomorrow.
oh, I drank, so I know I shall be on the throne all morning.
Me too.
one of the beautiful mysteries of passing 40
A 40 pounder? WOW, that’s quite a throne adventure!
I think I managed to get drunk enough that I won’t go to the nudie bar. SO PROUD, y’all
Quick, someone put on nipple tassels and dance around!
/Shot not!
I did and thanks, pal, now I just have to jerk off…. AGAIN.
I don’t get them much out here (or even
When they’re national, I don’t watch — like right now— then play) but the Falcons are a really hard team to figure out. Kinda the Panthers too (though may be same viewing issues).
This season’s actually pretty good in terms of parity. I mean, it’s just so very obvious which teams are BEST but the next tier of “who might challenge them?” Is actually very large. Feels like 2 or 3 teams more per conference. PLUS the cellar is really amusing too. The browns are on he turnaround…but still can’t win (or it takes 2ot to see if they just “don’t lose”.) . The Raiders are just insane— moving, don’t have a home in ‘19. Just a fire sale. Sold off fucking KHALIL MACK for a pick as though he forgot he can’t put 12 men on the field (even though Mack makes it feel like that.). And then Flacco and Eli’s days being numbered. Likely Alex Smith (poor bastard never had a chance.
Just a pretty entertaining season without a bunch of off field bs.
Roger Goodell is a national disgrace.
yep, 4 elite squadrons (though Saints a little better than the rest, Bearistocrats! likely a hair behind Chefs and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!), only 2 completely non-competitive dumpster fires (AZ, OAK) and a bunch in that mediocre-to-pretty good range.
Raiders are usually good for entertainment if not quality football. Gruden has time. He’s purging this team of all non-visors and looking to Vegas with his career resting on the next two years drafts. I love it. Chuckie and the owner who looks like the dude in Robocop who gets all toxic wasted if he had the actual doll’s haircut.
I can’t wait to see what a clownshow they are by the time they get to Vegas.
I would like a mime defensive end. Like bizarro John randle.
Herr Orangeface spent Thanksgiving at his resort in Florida, ducking a tradition previous Presidents have as actually visiting them in country, but! took the time to call TEH TROOPS to complain about immigration, judges, and the stock market.
NO ONE TAKES CARE OF OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN MORE THAN I HAVE, EVER. BELIEVE ME.
Every time I think it can’t get any worse: a new low.
Well there’s your problem, you think it can’t get worse!
The NC State fan’s motto – it can always get worse
Don’t forget. He was thankful for himself.
Help us Muller, you’re our only hope.
I really wish he’d contract HuntaAIDS, except I don’t want his fucktards to make him a martyr
Yelling about the stock market will definitely make it go back up!
I mean, the increase in military spending is the most it has ever been since 9/11. That should be enough
Don’t get too down. It’ll swing back. Be proud that you have the only country with true free speech. And your people don’t take any assault on your rights lying down. And chances are the next president won’t be a very handsy human Gritty.
Good lord I’ll be a saints fan for her. Or even Latvian orthodox. Onto the indicas and the last of the stew.
I contrarianly only ate a spot of leftover spaghetti today. Tomorrow, I shall make the Recluse Thanksgiving Weekend batch of bison chili.
the only thing you ought shove up the turkey (or turkey breast, as I prefer it) ass is celery – to increase the moisture content.
Again…FIGHT ME!
Onion, lemon, garlic and thyme.
my ex and I ALWAYS fought over the onion. I believe it takes over the flavour profile too much (and I also get migraines if I eat onion directly, which I only recently deduced).
I should specify, red onion. Definitely not as sharp as yellow and more of a subtle flavor added to the bird
now THAT ah can deffo see! Subtlety is well-important with turkey.
That’ll make that monster an ex real fast!
she actually preferred the butterball injected crap, but that I would NAWT stand for. Fresh turkey or turkey breast, nae frozen, and FUCKALL injected.
also, I coat the bird skin in vegetable oil and kosher salt. The skin dipped in gravy (when cooked ideally) is the best part
I don’t use lemon but all of shark baits ideas and some fresh off the balcony rosemary worked
garlic on a turkey seems sinful. Turkey has such a great natural flavour, I don’t want anything competing with it.
Agreed. I lopped the top off a head of garlic and stuffed it in there with the lemon, thyme, red onion. Subtlety again. Just enough roasted garlic aroma and flavor, but not overpowering the meat
I need to learn how to use thyme in a non-tomato based setting. This is one of my myriad cooking weaknesses.
If only there was a blog post that could teach you…
hee hee! I always read it, honest (but have memory of hummingbird)
So I haven’t read anything by James Michener in at least 25 years. But “Chesapeake” came up for 2 bucks on Kindle, so I downloaded it. I read it when it first came out 40 years ago and recall enjoying it. Fuck it, I’m going in.
Oh fuck “Caravans” is amazing.
All of you book reading folks for fucking real. Fully endorsed.
I’ve read a lot of his stuff, but not that one. Since I spent time in Afghanistan, I might find it interesting. Will investigate.
have not read Michener at all, but will look into it.
Dave Hutchinson’s Fractured Europe series is really, really fucking good. Don’t think I’ve pimped that yet.
That series looks interesting, and price of admission is not intimidating.
There was some discussion here about a trilogy called The Last Policeman a while back; read all three in about a week. Really enjoyed the end-of-the-world world the guy built, although the cop’s motivation by the third book seemed a little contrived.
If you’re going to try Michener, just choose a geographical location that interests you and he’s bound to have written a book about it covering the history of the place since the formation of the planet.
yes, Last Policeman is one that I sold hard. Is exactly my dark humour.
“Fuck it, I’m going in.”
That’s what he said after a 330am drunken pick up at the bar.
Per Willie Nelson, “I went home at 2 with a 10 and woke up at 10 with a 2.”
So I told my folks take what you want we’ll be fine no the turkey too.
I got stripped clean of leftovers.
Ain’t a drizzle of cranberry sauce left.
A sandwich might have been nice.
Nah it’s cool. Feed them folks.
That’s some bullshit.
We have a lot of extra turkey if you want to fly to Chicago for it.
Same for Boston. We’ve got way too much
I’ve got an airport nearby.
If there’s anything still there Saturday, I’ll bring some Tupperware to LAX
YOU LET THEM TAKE ALL THE LEFTOVERS? WHY DID YOU DO THAT, KAREN? WHY? THOSE LEFTOVERS WERE ALL WE HAD!
Awesome.
fuck off with yo garbage time, Julio
yay, not-JulioDOWN, will has 59/41 favourite status over BFC going into Sunday, despite benching Ridley
Booooooooooo
The falcons not throwing to Julio is an outrage
our benches did GREAT today!
For this weekend’s sports, go Rangers, Spurs, and another tie.
Should Sherman’s Ashes get in the end zone w/o tripping over they collective bollocks…will they go for two to beat the spread? Twas -13.5
/or like the Dacteds, can come up 0.5 short of the line at the very end
They won’t. Because GAMBLOR hates us this evening
As I embrace aging, I finally appreciate just certain things; good booze, a not-shitty motel room when away, and — granted, I may be way behind the eight ball here — grinding my flower before packing the bubbler.
A nice hotel room is way under appreciated.
Seriously.
I like Stella. It’s a perfectly adequate choice for corporate events where the selection is somewhat limited.
FIGHT ME!
Isn’t that it’s intended purpose?
It is to classy what Coors Light is to refreshing.
Apparently it’s getting chippy in the JV footy game. Or the thing beyond chippy.
The falcons love shooting themselves in the dick don’t they?
tis a sight to behold
A tradition going back to 1865
OBTW, Ida Lundgren:
Fuck it. Google her. She’s hot.
So where you been, man? Elbow deep in pussy??
Just uncorked a vape cartridge called “Gorilla Glue”. Happy fucking thanksgiving!
Sativa leaning hybrid here. Fuck tomorrow.
The first legal weed I bought in L.A. (at the LAX pot store in Westchester) was a breed called “Gorilla Glue.”
Ito. Wrong in 1995, wrong now.
HOW IS THAT A PENNO??
/ah, it was nae roughing
Wait. This fucker is really named after judge ito?! Some people shouldn’t be allowed to name kids.
My mom’s best friend in our CLT neighbourhood was a delivery room nurse. One lady liked the term “placenta” when she heard it, and named her daughter this.
I refuse to believe this is true.
This is the kind of 80s drunken mom thing that comes out during Bridge Club, apparently
“This” is a bad name for a girl … OR IT’S THE BEST NAME, EVAR!!!!11!
/haz ben drankin’
my cat son is excellent holiday company, even if he made me put away my baseball stuff
almost like they know it’s hopeless, dumb shits
Hippo, what kind of odds could you have gotten on a superfecta of the 4 saints wrs who caught tds tonight? No one would take the bet.
50:1?
I’ve seen how most people act on their phones, Verizon. They deserve to be waterboarded.
I can probably sleep walk through tomorrow.
Fuck it i’mma smoke one.
I’m off tomorrow. This is going to be me at about 11am tomorrow:
I walked past the tv earlier and saw some poor bastard who was made a quadriplegic talking to Peter King and couldn’t help but think “hasn’t this guy suffered enough?”
Also, some espn promo said something about being “inside the mind of Peyton Manning” and I just assume that’s a nonstop playlist of shitty jingles.
Taysom Hill. Exxxxxtra thicc
Taysom hill: a poor man’s Phil mcconkey.
but with magic undies!
This is fucking amazing.
MORE GIVING THE BALL TO HOOPER AND COLEMAN PLEASE.
Run it!,,
And now a word from our new lord and savior…
https://twitter.com/grittynhl/status/1065726679061094400?s=21
I believe you mean our Lord and savior Filip Chytl
Thank you Jeebus, for making my Bitcoin purchase not-transferable until tomorrow! All teh bets would have been wrong.
I don’t know what I did to anger GAMBLOR but he (she?) Is very not pleased with me lately
I also stink
We have angered GAMBLOR with self love.
Tis a good thing I don’t recall exactly how deep in the hole I am in 2018
After the early game my account balance was officially $.01.
I bought in for a hundred and they spotted me another hundred for loyalty.
Can I cash out now?
Just finished hosting for the first time. 2 roommates and 5 recovering alcoholics. Been working for about 15 hours.
I am making two turkeys on Sat to help a roommate for her organization of queer Asians.
I will need a vacation from my time offm
Stop throwing to no name assholes breesus!
The Aquaman we need, nay, deserve!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2Rlqw1EuK4
Wet Panther