It had been a typically gorgeous Southern California winter day. Yeah, it had started out in the 40s as I walked out the door to head to work, but it had warmed up considerably on the drive to Downtown.
The hookers weren’t there this morning. Was it because of the cold or something more nefarious?
I brushed that thought off and optimistically decided they were working. The holidays must be rough for the ladies. Those babies and/or abortions don’t pay for themselves.
As I drove home in perfect 73 degree weather, I realized I was hungry. I thought about it and knew there was a football game to watch, so I made the decision.
I called and ordered. ETA 30 minutes. Perfect timing.
After I got home, I was undressing when the doorbell rang. I quickly jumped to answer. I was REALLY hungry.
She was standing there wearing stiletto heels and a brown trenchcoat.
“Hi”, she purred as she opened the coat to reveal what she wasn’t wearing.
“Hi”, I answered.
She asked, “Who’s playing?”
“Eagles and Potato Skins”
“Cool. No need for doggie then.”
“Yup”
TO THE GAME!
The Eagles need to win tonight to have any chance of defending their Super Bowl championship.
That’s as short and to the point as I can make it. Anything else would be verbose and self-indulgent.
Comment away!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IcZYTQoiO0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmactMIhrRM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUdEzN6UWrQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GL0w-aOkF_k
That’s a pretty amazing truck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgnx9fcf1UQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd5ZLJWQmss
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_HoMkkRHv8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ub9nQ0YVCg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nv33eaygVDQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9yTqFWxHpA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX1jqVOy6g4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_R9an8AU3No
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l6vqPUM_FE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3Qnlu9Nfj8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpmDAu_47OE
Invade Russia? We can do it! We can win!!! WE DON’T NEED GASOLINE!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sJxxikKk8Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfp2O9ADwGk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TRBuvq0lfU
Wow, that was pretty fucking cool. Watch this video when you’re stoned.
I was just looking outside and watched two raccoons fucking.
At least somebody’s having fun.
By “somebody”, I presume you mean you? With your racoon voyeurism and your rock and roll music?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-QIiVS_7Hs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrO46CJd9ns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyIOl-s7JTU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PedAgnyi-lA
In honor of tWBS beating BFC this week in FF:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_K6MoWuAXjQ
Booooooooooo
Howdy. You know what’s the worst? Red-eye flights.
So while I’m going to miss the playoffs in my money league (fucking fournette) i been tasked with calculating playoff scenarios, as I’m commissioner.
Amazing, not a single one of the four playoff spots has been clinched, and theres 6 potential teams.
Is there some site where I can plug in numbers? I insist my league uses head to head as atiebreaker, so it’s not super easy to figure it out
If more than 2 teams tie, how do you do the tiebreaker?
First tiebreaker is head 2 head.
2nd tiebreaker is points.
I am legtimatley too lazy to look up tiebreakers after that.
Gotcha. If you want, send it to me via email and i’ll figure it out for you. If your league is public on one of the major sites, I should be able to figure it out. I like puzzles.
You on slack?
Yup
Or, you can write a post about it and have commentists figure it out!
This balls, I call him a wealthy white person because he’s always suggesting having someone else do the work for you.
If you ax the CFBPC it’s TV money. Not sure that helps here.
Darts? Oh, even better, throwing knives? Or axes?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR-To4bsWPY
Lucky for Colt McCoy, there’s an excellent equine surgery facility not too far away in VA
http://www.blueridgeequine.com/
He’s also just a stones throw away from Colts Neck New Jersey.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovfM7dvFto0
Hi sorry I’m late
1) They shoot Colts, don’t they?
2) Many DC-area 16 year old girls will still be virgins by next weekend due to Starter Reps
3) Wentz Ertz Cuntz
4) Shitty game
About cover it?
I just got here.
3-1 in the division. The East remains a dumpster fire.
I hope Dallas does not get out.
“We hope Dan Snyder doesn’t get out.” — 30 “anonymous” NFL owners
Viewing the team tonight; they are in a wheelchair behind a door the opens the wrong way in the burning house.
“We’re not going in, too dangerous.”
-30 “anonymous” NFL owners
“About fucking time.”
-Native American village inhabitants during Pequot War
Deep cut.
this could end in under 3 hours!
Sometimes a murder takes a while.
Oh, you mean the game.
So, Gratliff, what do you think? I think the 500s and RAMMIT will be too muvh.
Go 5-1 in the division and the rest shouldn’t matter, unless Cowboys can continue their bullshit from Thursday.
not Gratliff, but I’d be surprised if you get past the suddenly competent Non-gendered Cowpersons
The Repressed Republican in me wants to see Kaepernick play for the MaroonEpidermises just to see Democrats reaction.
they’d sooner start some wino off the street, hence Sanchize
TEBOW TIME!
Hey everybody!
30 second movie review:
The Green Book was really good.
Vigo Mortenson put on 35 pounds of pasta for the role and he was great at it. Mahershala Ali is a classically trained pianist and has a slow burn sustained role. The music is incredible. You will be reminded why we still hate the South.
Go! See! Take your racist Grandma!
Very good stuff.
I’ve put on 35 pounds of pasta since my diet ended. Where’s my Oscar?
This is a game where the Eagles threw a pick on the goal line, and got stopped on 4th & goal, and gave up a 90 yard TD run, and they’re still stomping on Washington. There is an impressive amount of quit in the Skins locker room.
not even using their timeouts, which is kind and merciful
sack and TWO declined penalties. Peak Sanchize Redacteds
Stop throwing flags! Let this game end mercifully.
This is the first I’ve heard that Colt McCoy broke his leg!
Is that the classic [*Redacted] s injury? How many times has this joke been made tonight?
meh, that bone didn’t even pop out the skin. WEAK SAUCE FROM A WEAK REDACTED.
So BFC and Sharkbait’s tie has held BFC out of the playoffs.
THE YEAR OF A TIE
plus tWBS breaking his 10-game losing streak to sneak DonT over the border!!
HE IS PART OF YOUR COUNTRY
Booooooooooo
Sanchez shouldn’t have a job by the end of this drive
There needs to be a book “The World According to Booger”
yes, I would pre-order this book
ahead by 2.14 in DFO-ball. The last desperate chess move I made in my spiral of despair was getting Chris Conley off waivers (cut AJ Green) and benching Jewkah.
Which netted me 2.50 points! 😀
I’m going to watch a Christmas movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WKgNyvsNDM
The Wet Bandits used the I-D-D-Q-D cheat code.
Redacteds might as well just take a knee and ask for a running clock
insufficient time burning, fuckos
Fuck, I hate Witten but that was superb. Boog too.
I kinda wanna say that, “Never put your hands on a woman,” is kinda simplistic and sexist, like… domestic violence occurs to men too, plus NFL players have also committed inappropriate violent acts against men too… butttttt I’m also kinda just like, “Yeah, okay, maybe we just need to start there, cuz….”
Never put your hands on a woman? Ever? What if you’re trying to feel her up? This is confusing.
What if she’s into BDSM and she’s a Submissive? She wants me hit her. I mean she really wants me to hit her. But I can’t hit her because I can’t hit a woman ever?
I woke up wit a woman on me and my friend had to fight her off me. Was with 1st wife at the time but still a bit scarred from it.
I was out cold.
Both are bad. If you do either, you are a shithead who shouldn’t get to be in the NFL.
I’m just trying to imagine how many MRAs are shouting about Witten being an SJW right now
They need to have some sort of education about deescalating situations instead of escalating them, and about responding with the minimal force needed to defend yourself. Anyone who’s built like a NFL RB shouldn’t be hitting anyone smaller than them, male or female.
THIS! How hard is it to walk or run away? You are paid millions of dollars to literally evade and run away from people who want to hit you. Just don’t use the stiff arm and focus on your spin move or juke and run.
Hunt was only making like 6 or 8 hundred K, I believe.
In two seasons, that’s a million. Plus he would easily get a ten-figure contract in a couple years.
Now he’ll get $9/hr. $9.50/hr if he works the night-shift.