Your MNF Week 14 Open Thread

The parking lot was full of cars,  but everyone was already inside.  We were late.

It was her company Christmas party and I really didn’t want to go, but a good boyfriend does what a good boyfriend does and the reason we were late was because we’d gotten a little frisky during the dressing up process.

As it was,  we had basically half-assed the dressing job as I didn’t have my tie on and she still needed to fix her scarf/top ensemble. As we parked in a spot between the cars,  I looked around.

There wasn’t a creature stirring,  not even a mouse.

Balls: Hey,  I don’t think your top is on right.

Her: What are you talking about?

With one swift move,  I had undone the knot in her tied-up top revealing her Victoria’s Secret bra.

“Woops! My bad”, I said with devilish delight.

She gave me a look that told me I was a naughty boy but that she approved.

“I’m sure that was just an accident.”

“Completely”, I whispered as I pulled one breast out from its constraint.

“Hi! Haven’t seen you in a while!”

“It was literally 30 minutes ago!”

“Was it?”

I proceeded to put her nipple in my mouth.  It was erect.

Out of the blue,  a voice yelled out, “TO THE GAME!!”

***

The Vikings try to stake their claim to the last Wild Card spot in the NFC tonight as they visit the likely top Wild Card team in the Pacific Northwest, the Seattle Seahawks.

A Seahawk victory will all but clinch the final Wild Card spot for them and will leave a big pack of rabid dogs chasing that last Wild Card spot.

Should the Vikings win…., well, we might as well talk about me having a threesome with Betty and Veronica from Riverdale.

Enjoy the game!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Getting home to tWLS’ house tonight was interesting because this happened right around the corner, and police had literally every street but one blocked off from traffic. Finally got home and signed on to find out the details. Stolen car, crashed big time, 18 yr old kid dead, 3 others critical in the hospital. Just pointless tragedy.

Why does the world have to suck so hard?

https://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2018/12/10/reisterstown-crash-teen-dead-others-injured/

Beerguyrob

Goddamn!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And I have to admit, once I found out the details of what happened, I felt like a real jerk for bitching about the traffic issues which delayed us getting home.

yeah right

I think Dwyane Wade is wearing a pair of wallabies on the court.

yeah right

I’m ready for baseball. I really, really hope we don’t make the playoffs because that’s just another loss.
Fuck it I’m focusing on Oscar season! And the Bulls and the under.

Pay me again!

Unsurprised

I see nothing of value was missed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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Fronkenshteen

That game was horrible.
The Chargers are REALLY in this thing.
Wonderful things always seem to happen to Carroll at the Clink. He is a criminal scumbag.
Hope junior gets indicted tomorrow.
All the disconnected synapses are popping and fizzing. SAD is shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Wakezilla

They’ll be throwing fish around the streets of Seattle tonight, folks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lady BFC just asked me if the milk was still ok if the sell by date was 12/7. I said yes. So she brought it over to me. I said, ” what, do you want me to smell it?” Apparently the answer was yes. I did and told her it was still good. She just stood there looking at me. And only then did I realize she wanted me to sip it to make sure before she poured some for herself. True love, ladies and gentlemen.

Unsurprised

Sperm donors.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Same here, but I just chugged it in protest. Finished it. It was bad, but did I let on? No. Just spent the next workday on the toilet. WORTH IT.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Judith, celebrated during Hanukkah.

The Assyrians were invading the Near East, and the town of Bethulia was besieged by the cruel General Holofernes. If the town fell, the whole country would follow.

With the town stricken by famine, the Elders were going to surrender if they were not rescued within a few days. Judith, a young widow, told them to take responsibility for their community. She then, accompanied only by her maid, went to the enemy camp.

Holofernes was smitten, and invited her to a banquet. She got him very drunk, and when they were alone in his tent, she took the General’s sword and decapitated him.

With the enemy forces now thrown into confusion, she urged her people to launch a surprise attack. They were victorious. Judith’s courage saved her people.

Happy Hanukkah!

Brick Meathook

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Wakezilla

Looking just at the QBs’ stats, you’d never guess NanoBubbles would be the one with a 2 score lead.

Mr. Ayo

72 passing yards? That’s Bollo-esque.

Wakezilla

Yup, and he was 10/20 with 1 pick

King Hippo

that D/ST score could flip the result of the 3/6 playoff match in my money league. If Cook or Diggs scores

King Hippo

/nope, loses by 1 point (and some fraction)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No need to shop further for Hippo.

JustStopDude

Did Cousins fuck one of these announcers wives or daughters? They really seem to fucking despise him.

King Hippo

don’t make me sympathize with those chucklefucks

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*cucklefucks.

Brick Meathook

Look at that vigil. They should bury that guy right there.

...

Well shit I was thinking having the Packers and Vikings coming up was going to be a challenge for the Bears but now lol

Redshirt

I think we all saw that coming.

Mr. Ayo

Are we talking about the Hulkkakke again?

Redshirt

Not sure. After one quarter the rods in my eyes or something burned out and now I only see shades of gray. And the Seahawks are still too bright to stare at.

Brocky

Yay

WCS

That’s a fitting conclusion.

Mr. Ayo

That was absolutely 100% a penalty.

The ghost of Blair past is strong with this team.

Brocky

Kurt Warner is weirdly obsessed with the fact that bobby Wagner had help with leaping on the blocked field goal

Col. Duke LaCross

And in the pregame. It’s insane.

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, those three points would really make a difference

Brocky

Well huh. There you go

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

DIRECTOR: Okay kid, when she hands you the money, look excited.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[priest knowingly nods head]

Col. Duke LaCross

Tessatore’s ogling of Wilson’s better half is starting to get Musbergarian.

King Hippo

In his defense…she fine.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She only twisted her ankle a little, so yeah, she’s fine.

Dunstan

But why is he so fast? We go to the studio and Jimmy The Greek,…

Beerguyrob

Mr. Winkles is gonna spill some blood tomorrow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

I’M THE SOLE SURVIVOR

Col. Duke LaCross

“Operation Time?” That might be the first time I’ve ever heard that term.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WUT??

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Brick Meathook

YOU SANK MY BATTLESHIP

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

PRETTY SNEAKY, SIS!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That inc*st porn weirds me out. All the same actors in every one.

Redshirt

You know, from everything I’ve heard, I may have to actually watch “Teen Titans Go! To the Movies”. (hangs head in shame)

Beerguyrob

Just don’t masturbate to it and you’ll be fine.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think that is just too much of a limitation.

Redshirt

Hey, I’m may be a repressed, closeted, racist, bigot jerk, but I got standards

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d just say don’t get any on the seats; that’s just rude.

Brocky

I’m not convinced the hate on teen titans go isnt just the most absurd hate circlekjerk from a group of nerds in the history of nerdy cirlce jerks

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Most hate campaigns against pop culture things are such.

Redshirt

Its because they wanted the show to come back but it came back like that.

Its like you guys what Obama to return to save the country as President, but he comes back in a variety TV show.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Honestly at this point I’d rather just miss the playoffs than sneak in and get totally obliterated by all the teams that actually deserve to be there.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I take the safety here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Yardage is more important than the -2

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

Nope. 6-1 would be, but that’s impossible in this game now. 6-4 would do it!

Brick Meathook

Okay, can someone finally please explain to me what the fuck a scorigami is?

Brick Meathook

???? How do you know it’s never happened?

herodotus450

Cause some wobsite told us so.

Brick Meathook

That’s a really underwhelming answer. I thought it was because the score folded up into 666 or 69 or something, or you could factor it down into a prime number. Gosh.

Dunstan
Redshirt

This game would find a way.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Nah, giving the other side the ball on own 1 is high-leverage anyway. You don’t make 1 yard in 3 tries, you ain’t winning regardless.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

4 is ok tho

Mr. Ayo

Whoo! Shutout!

WCS

Minny turnover in 3…2….1….

Dunstan

A turnover on downs is a kind of turnover!

WCS

Not exactly what I had in mind, but, same result.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

I would totally buy that cat.

Mr. Ayo

To put him down?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s always doing that.

“You stupid cat.”

“Your momma ain’t even a pussy.”

“You so neutered they call you Neville Chamberlain!”

etc., etc.

Brocky

CmonSeattle, do that thing where you dont suck at life!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Now, an insurmountable lead.

Redshirt

Okay, now Seattle is just running up the score.

Redshirt

Wow. Referees have so much faith in receivers having a 15′ Vertical Jump.