The parking lot was full of cars, but everyone was already inside. We were late.
It was her company Christmas party and I really didn’t want to go, but a good boyfriend does what a good boyfriend does and the reason we were late was because we’d gotten a little frisky during the dressing up process.
As it was, we had basically half-assed the dressing job as I didn’t have my tie on and she still needed to fix her scarf/top ensemble. As we parked in a spot between the cars, I looked around.
There wasn’t a creature stirring, not even a mouse.
Balls: Hey, I don’t think your top is on right.
Her: What are you talking about?
With one swift move, I had undone the knot in her tied-up top revealing her Victoria’s Secret bra.
“Woops! My bad”, I said with devilish delight.
She gave me a look that told me I was a naughty boy but that she approved.
“I’m sure that was just an accident.”
“Completely”, I whispered as I pulled one breast out from its constraint.
“Hi! Haven’t seen you in a while!”
“It was literally 30 minutes ago!”
“Was it?”
I proceeded to put her nipple in my mouth. It was erect.
Out of the blue, a voice yelled out, “TO THE GAME!!”
***
The Vikings try to stake their claim to the last Wild Card spot in the NFC tonight as they visit the likely top Wild Card team in the Pacific Northwest, the Seattle Seahawks.
A Seahawk victory will all but clinch the final Wild Card spot for them and will leave a big pack of rabid dogs chasing that last Wild Card spot.
Should the Vikings win…., well, we might as well talk about me having a threesome with Betty and Veronica from Riverdale.
Enjoy the game!
Do people watching ESPN on the cable feed see different commercials than I see watching via their app?
What? Can’t be!
I think the apps have different ads, some of them anyway.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs6UcgiDwg0
So, we got ourselves a real shootout here, don’t we?
Indeed, and all of the weapons are unloaded or keep jamming.
that is DEFFO a Texan
I say Mexican. A Mexico Mexican.
Great pussy lips have no country.
You ever been to Haiti?
OK, that one is an exception, but just because dictators robbed the country.
In case you were wondering, it’s bad offense.
Gimme 5-2, game ends on intentional safety
good lord viks. I’m going to bed.
3rd and 3, run a TWO YARD out
followed by telegraphed run and ineffective holding
http://66.media.tumblr.com/62abd0f5cf68ee0610db5d870302c843/tumblr_n9qv3jd9yb1qgf1i8o1_500.gif
So, 3-0? How? Are they playing in 18″ of invincible snow?
I mean 20 plays in opponent territory and three points?
Herr Goddell took the under.
Nice throw, Inbred Cousins
Those are the kind of child-bearing hips that’ll get you betrothed to the Duke of Bavaria, even if he is your second cousin and all of the children those hips bear turn out to be pale, cross-eyed, hemophiliacs.
Blair Walsh sighting! Everybody spill your drink!
Leave Drew alone, he’s going through a rough spot.
Any idea what the deal is?
Some sort of accident, per twitter and Deadspin.
gurls like jew-ry HARF
Dingleberry is just fucking awful. I know Keenum hasn’t been much in Donksland, neither – but he ain’t getting $84M guaranteed, FFS
I am inclined to agree with you. However I’m holding out hope that with the right OC and a better O-line his pinpoint accuracy will lead to hot fire next season.
hey, might as well hang onto hope, y’all is pot-committed as fuck
Ah yes… Washington thought Cousins was too risk-averse… clearly ALEX SMITH was the answer to those woes!
He’s so risk-averse he can’t even grab a football.
Right now he can’t even walk.
At least he can feel ONE of his legs. SIGH – Ryan S., Pittsburgh, PA
“Getting Denied at the 1” is what Rick Mirer calls when a chick is wearing a chastity belt
I haven’t seen a fat man with a reception like that since Penn Jillette announced he had HIV!
This game is kinda of dragging
Heading for another 6-6 tie.
RUN FAT BOY RUN!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCU-r5ZejUA
Tomsulas Fat Guy catch lost yards ,, ppl forget that
/Brandon Perna, National Treasure
FATMAN RECEPTION
They should have run that from the 1 yard line
Wow it’s still 3-0
Ehh. I’m a little more creeped out by this one than anything.
Uhhh… what in the devil’s name is this in place of football?
Real juxtaposition compared to the rest of the 1st half with the violent Wilson dick riding from the announcing crew up to this point…
I don’t know if anybody wants to get their dicks ridden violently.
Seattle fucking up an opportunity to score from the 1?
Huh, that never happens!
bahahahaha! OMG!
Those are lovely hills
This is why you keep Lynch.
What are you, running for the Senate in Mississippi?
hey man, it’s the 1 what did y’all expect?
Oh, I see Jesus has been fucking around with Russell Wilson again.
“Run. Run backwards more! Keep going! Now throw it away! Don’t look…I SAID DON’T LOOK!!!’
Personally I think it was hackers.
Either way, ghost in the machine.
It’s true, God can be kind of a dick when he drank
Needs more nanobubbles.
Well that was dumb
Wtf was that Russ?
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH
1 more drink?
drink some water
/Horatio, working late, flips the game on
Bounjorno, bella!
SHE COULD BREAK THE WALL WITH THAT DUMPER
EDIT: it’s Italy, I’m on angel dust, go suck a fat one
It works and the use of dumper as a synonym for ass deserves a +1 by itself.
And you actually had it right the first time. She’s at a Mexican resort. The poster says Italian Night.
Fourth-and-one? What will Pete Carroll do? Run or pass?
Run
Commit a delay-of-game penalty.
..
DO JET SWEEPS MELT STEEL BEAMS
Sue for an unredacted officials report of the 2nd down play
Blame the Jews.
LOL
So I was reading that Voyager 1 is traveling at 17 km/s. Imagine that! That is so insanely fast.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2018/07/30/how-fast-is-voyager-1-traveling-right-now/#7208148170dc
Isn’t 17km like six feet or something? That’s not very fast
That’s even faster than Andy Reid getting up to go for seconds in the buffet line!
Russell is not a “young QB”.
Those nanobubbles came from the fountain of youth!
He’s like 21 in pussy years
the years he ain’t fuck don’t count
I don’t even speak a lick of Spanish and I enjoy it more than the regular broadcast.
I wonder what the espanol version is of “Booger?” Sommet like Bumblebee Man?
Moco McFarland
es muy bueno!!
The direct translation is Mucos, so, it’s likely that?
Google Translate sucks
If you’re licking anything Spanish, you’re having a better night than I am.
When LeBron finally retires, I think we should all pool our money and/or get a Kickstarter going to watch him in an MMA battle against an actual fucking Terminator bot.
i want to see him play soccer
Pro bowling tour
Whistle at a white woman in rural Alabama
Excuse you refs. Germain Ifedi is not on the Vikes and god willing he never fucking will be.
Evening, folks. Hope you’re well, and that your drinks are full.
Yes I am doing well. And yes, my drank be fool.
Glowsticks Punt!
what if a rave broke out…and nobody was left to toss fishies?
Depends on who’s running the rave. PNW version has no such problem.