Your “Not Rolling Snake Eyes” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • The NFL salary cap is expected to be between $187-191 million for the 2019 season.
    • An increase from the $177 million it was for 2018.
    • This is a 40% jump from 2013, when the cap was $133 million.
  • Petulant man-baby Mark Davis is peeved at the “meritless and malicious” lawsuit the city of Oakland brought against his precious team.
    • “Emotionally, I would say, why would I give them $3 [million], $4 [million], $5 million in rent that they’re going to turn around and use to sue me?” Davis had continued. “But at the same time, if they’ll have us, I can’t turn on the fans. I can’t do it.”
      • Because moving the team to another city (again) apparently isn’t considered “turning on the fans”.
    • Other Raiders news:
      • Jon Gruden wants to stay for 2019, however.
        • If they don’t, options for the 2019 season are San Antonio, St. Louis, and San Diego.
      • The 2020 Draft has been scheduled for Las Vegas.
        • To coincide with the Raiders expected first season.

  • Carson Wentz is projected to be a scratch Sunday versus the Rams.
    • The cause? Back spasms, likely exacerbated by the thought of having to outrun Aaron Donald.

Finally, the 2019 International games home teams have been announced.

  • The Jacksonville Jaguars, Los Angeles Rams, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Oakland Raiders and Los Angeles Chargers will be home teams for the four London & one Mexico City games
    • Dates & times will be released in the Spring.

Tonight’s sports

  • NHL:
    • Penguins at Blackhawks – 8:00PM | NBCSN
    • Flyers at Flames – 8:30PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Celtics at Wizards – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Thunder at Pelicans – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Raptors at Warriors – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN
  • NCAA:
    • Chicago State at DePaul – 8:00PM | FS1
    • LSU at Houston – 9:00PM | ESPN2

How are you doing with the Little Drummer Boy challenge? I’m still in it to win it, but it’s getting harder. I DON’T WANNA GO TO THE MALL!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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ballsofsteelandfurytheeWeeBabySeamusSenor WeaseloLemonJelloMoose -The End Is Well Nigh Recent comment authors
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ballsofsteelandfury

I need a ruling: the local news anchor just said the words “puh rump puh pum pum” without actually singing. Just those five words and nothing else.

Am I out?

LemonJello
LemonJello

In my no-way-official opinion?

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I’d call you “safe”.

Senor Weaselo

Was it sung or spoke?

ballsofsteelandfury

Spoken

theeWeeBabySeamus

If she said “rump”, my thinking is that you are the winner.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. Office holiday party was not bad. I left before those ripping shots could mar the memory.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Ready for the national anthem.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’d rather she be kneeling

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And at attention at the same time……

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I would also accept the Ben Dover Protest (it’s new).

Don T

Some traditional Xmas songs in Puerto Rico:

“If I don’t get something to drink, I’ll cry”

“From the mountains we come, to invite you to eat, a pig on the spit and clandestine rum to drink”

“In these Xmas if I don’t dance, I’ll be like a monkey, from drink* to drink*”
* “palo”, which is colloquial for “tree” and “cocktail”

Point is: there’s a common theme.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

All acoustic.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You see, because the power……… never mind.

ballsofsteelandfury

Palo also equals penis, no?

yeah right

“Are you kidding me? We got a family here!”

Col. Duke LaCross

Got knocked out of the LDB challenge tonight. I bowl in a heavy metal bowling league where every week they do a raffle to put in a playlist together for the next week and blast it through the system at the alley. Last night was our end of season party so they played all metal holiday songs. Third song in was the August Burns Red version.

yeah right

Fuck! I keep expecting to be done in by Bowie and Bing Crosby.

It’s the bullet you don’t see.

WCS

Poor bastard. Sorry.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m still in! Lady BFC can’t believe it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Aren’t we doing phrasing any more?

yeah right

While i’m partial to Darlene Love I still prefer a nice stodgy rendition of the basics. Good King Wenceslas and such. But give me some waisel and I’ll sing anything.

yeah right

You can also give me the three tenors with anything.
Ave Maria and I’m Christmas pudding.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Seeing how we’re talking favorite Christmas songs. . . Fun fact: I have given Mrs. Zilla a few of these gifts ideas

WCS

You hoser.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

I bought that record as a teen! Geddy Lee was there (“20 bucks is 20 bucks”).

yeah right

There’s definitely a family feeling in the air. And I owe that to bourbon and the fact that I haven’t heard the Little fucking Drummer Boy this season.

Can I get an amen?!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Counter point:

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Don T

Favorite Xmas song—pft yea!, en español: El Gran Combo – No hay cama pa’ tanta gente (There’s no bed for that many folks). About lotta singers and artists crashing a party and mooching, and the hosts throwing them out. Choice part, artlessly translated;

Throw them down ‘cause they’re a danger up here
They fill their hands with pork, and then wipe with the curtains
Throw them down ‘cause they’re a danger up here
They gorge and drink and get sick, then say “Lady, got any aspirin”
Throw them down ‘cause they’re a danger up here
They go insidethe bathroom, and then leave it like a [swimming] pool
Throw them down…

Senor Weaselo

So every Christmas some friends of mine come out with a Christmas album where all the tracks are done in one day. Sometimes I can make it, and this year I got to sing. Anyway, since we were talking Christmas carols here’s my contribution. I promise it’s not a LDB Rickroll. Even if you click on the other albums, it wouldn’t be the first track, if we’ve done it at all.

Wakezilla

I can vouche that the first song isn’t LDB.

Senor Weaselo

I forgot to mention, I sing in this album! (I Believe in Father Christmas)

Don T

Wonderful number, Señor.

Wakezilla

It sounded good, S Dubs

Wakezilla

Macron committed to hiking the minimum wage, scrapping taxes on pensions and scrapping a tax on overtime work because the yellow vests protested. Protesting does work and that should encourage us all to take to the streets for the infinite bullshit our governments give us.

ballsofsteelandfury

But France has a rich tradition of strikes and protests that actually accomplish something. That is just not the case in the US.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The country split; no matter the merit of the original protest, the equally attended counter protest will show up. For instance nazis get as much attention as the opposite.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

We did. 100 years ago.

Senor Weaselo

Speaking of subways with Ian, Senorita Weaselo texted me that some dude pissed their pants on the subway, to the point it was trickling down the car.

Yes she has gotten off and switched to another train.

Wakezilla

Was it really yellow looking?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow, she’s into some weird stuff. Not sure I understand why she switched trains afterwards, though.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hi

Senor Weaselo

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

That seems likely

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I am DYING for them to play in front of tens of really desperate to be out of the elements hobos in #BFIB-land next season.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Since Rikki mentioned pizza and pizza is one of my seven weaknesses, if you’re on a budget but want a decent pizza, I recommend Totino’s Party Pizza. Its comes in a pouch and sells for about $1.50 or so, which I admit is an immediate cause for concern, but its a nice crispy pizza and its a decent size where you won’t be forced to overeat so you won’t have left overs.

King Hippo

My method involves these small pre-baked pizza crusts (mama Marie or sommet like that), I can brown my own ground sausage and it makes like 4-5 meals for the week. No, I never get tired of sausage pizza.

/cheeseless, of course

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Petronel

Totino’s are our go-to food in this house after a few hours spent shoveling snow at this time of year. Fast to oven, and satisfying without being too heavy. We always make sure we have some in the freezer if weather’s on the way.

Game Time Decision

Fav xmas song.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Still alive in the challenge, I could be home free.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I got all of them in one day at the store…. I’m out.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sigh. I think my microwave is broken. Looks like no pizza rolls for me until I get it fixed.

Senor Weaselo

Toaster oven your pizza rolls!
/Can someone locate RFD’s pizza roll review?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Kids these days. Use the oven! The big thing under the burners.

King Hippo

Like any of our moms let us use the big oven ,, smh

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Wait, where did you nap?

Redshirt

In the crawl space behind the furnace, duh.

Ian Scott McCormick

Fixed? Microwaves are like $5 in 2018.

King Hippo

I realized this after I fixed the last one. Doh. There is still a microwave repair place in Raleigh, NC. Probably just a front to launder drug money.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There is a little vacuum repair shop near me that does stuff like this (he fixed our mixer). I really like him and the fact that his shop exists so I’m always happy to patronize him.

King Hippo

Good point. Plus throwing away the…stuff that’s in a microwave can’t generally be a good thing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not mine. A new one would be $400. It came free with the house (we were supposed to pay the developer for it, since it wasn’t standard, but he forgot to ask). Hopefully this isn’t a case of the bill finally coming due.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t exaggerate! They are at least ten bucks!

Redshirt

If you have an oven, use it for Pizza Rolls. They’ll be perfectly cooked and won’t be soft and molten hot like from the microwave.

Game Time Decision

Bbq them. Maybe a bit of tinfoil if you are worried about leaks or splits

Ian Scott McCormick

There is a 100% chance I make it at least to the 24th in the LDBC. Easily. I don’t drive and never hang out in malls. Unless somebody Rick Rolls me, I’m absolutely golden to Christmas Eve, with an even money shot of making it through Christmas.

Redshirt

Sorry, Ian. You set me up for it, and I am an unrepentant asshole.

Hey look! Its a video of that favorite supermodel of yours that you like completely naked. Check it out!

https:/ /www. youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Senor Weaselo

How did you know Rick Astley was his favorite supermodel?

Senor Weaselo

Calling it now, someone’ll be busking and plays it the last work day before Christmas Eve at Atlantic Ave station.
/Assuming that’s your closest subway station, adjust accordingly otherwise

King Hippo

I honestly can’t remember if I am or not. My mind can nae distinguish between the various Xmas pablum in stores, and I immediately change the channel (SiriusXM only, natch) whenever I hear anything Xmas-y – unless it’s Christmas at Ground Zero. Which they don’t ever play, because the world is shit.

I will relent and play the YouTube ginormous catalogue of Sufjan Steven’s Xmas songs. That hipster mofo can sing.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Christmas in Hollis yo

King Hippo

Fair point!!

Redshirt

I think this is safe for The Challenge. I didn’t hear the forbidden lyrics, but watch at your own risk.

https:// www. youtube.com/watch?v=2Fe11OlMiz8

Senor Weaselo

If you hear even the drum rhythm it counts. Even parodies count this year.
https://littledrummerboychallenge.com/2016/11/21/dems-da-rules/#more-1672

Game Time Decision

And from the rules you can’t rickroll someone into hearing it

Redshirt

I didn’t hear the drum rhythm, but in that song they could’ve been playing the theme to Back to the Future and I would’ve missed it that mess.

If I did miss it, sorry. Wasn’t trying to be a dick. Just comes naturally.

Game Time Decision

I’m still in the ldb challenge but will be out by this time tomorrow as the oldest is doing this song as part of her xmas concert. Was a good reason not to listen to xmas music for a week or 2

WCS

Following up on Redshirt’s question, does the episode of The Office count where Angela is singing it during karaoke at their Christmas party?

Game Time Decision

As long as you recognize it as ldb, you’re out. Just the music or just the words. Doesn’t matter

WCS

So, I’ll mute that part.

Redshirt

Turn off your closed captioning. And don’t read her lips.

Redshirt

What about the Bowie/Crosby duet? Does that cost me the challenge or does it have to be pure 100% LDB?

ballsofsteelandfury

I think that counts.

Redshirt

Damn those two!

WCS

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Senor Weaselo

Definitely counts.

ballsofsteelandfury

I am for cockfighting, bullfighting, and gladiatorial combat against exotic animals like lions, tigers, and bears oh my!

ballsofsteelandfury

MAKE ROME GREAT AGAIN!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Don’t forget Mayan soccer with human heads.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Putting christians in the coliseum against lions was a great idea and should be used today, starting with Rick Santorum.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They don’t mean cockfighting like you mean cock fighting; they use roosters.

WCS

I’m still in the challenge, because I’ve adopted the Hippo/recluse lifestyle, and only listen to satellite radio when I do leave.

King Hippo

This yinz gets it!

/feels like goin’ black cause you’ll never go back ,, no ofense

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m still in the challenge. I get jumpy every time I hear any Christmas song, though.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:
At my funeral I won’t need a coffin. I will be cremated from the neck down and my head will be on a stick. If you want to say anything about me you have to hold my head stick

WCS

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It is the future.

Redshirt
Senor Weaselo

This is of note because as I mentioned last night I am OUT of the LDBC. Madre Weaselo and I were watching Hollywood Game Night and they had carolers.

I thought I’d make it to Friday, where my school has their caroling concert and I pray my students can play Good King Wenceslas, O Christmas Tree, and The First Noel.

Redshirt

I can see the first one not being known, but isn’t the last two ingrained into our DNA?

Senor Weaselo

Yeah, but the arranger decided to try polyphony and give people parts. That asshole.

I’m the arranger.

Redshirt

Let’s take him out back and beat the shit out of him.

Redshirt

Somewhat on topic, the following is my typical casino experience:

1. Walk in with a wallet full of dollars.
2. Sit down at Not Blackjack Table
3. Leave table with down about 75% of what I walked in with.
4. Sit down at Blackjack Table.
5. Leave table almost breaking even.

One of these days I skip to Step 4.

scotchnaut

“Not the least bit…you know.”

-Un Surprised

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m the opposite. Walk into casino, friends immediately are up $500, I’ve lost half my stack. Go play craps, lose the rest immediately or quadruple my money.

Don T

So the US Senate and House voted overwhelmingly to outlaw cockfighting in Puerto Rico. The ban starts in a year, afyer the Prez signs the thing.
Cockfighting started here in the XVI Century and , currently, employs around 27,000 folks. It was banned when the US invaded in 1898, but was lifted in the 1930s because CULTURE GODDAMMIT.
Yeah, OK: I’m pretty insensitive to the animal rights [eye roll, forehead sprain] angle. But c’mon: none of the Congresspersons involved are from here nor know anything about Puerto Rico. It’s not a principled stand, only brazen colonialism for no purpose other than “We own you”.
Lift the tariffs imposed late last year (quite the kicker after the worst natural disaster in US soil), allow non-US merchant ships to dock here, and don’t kill local industry by flooding the PR market with surplus goods. Until then, fuck the federal government. ⬇️🎤

Redshirt

I’m against Cock Fighting, but I’m pretty certain there are bigger issues to deal with.

In a few years, we’ve gone from Puerto Rico on its way to the 51st state to it wondering if they can go back to Spain.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Spain doesn’t want it.

Don T

PR has never been on a track towards statehood. Especially after citizenship was granted in 1917, for cannon fodder purposes, and then after ships started to travel much longer. That technology stripped PR of strategic importance for commerce and military purposes.
My best bet for PR independence remains US politicians’ racism / condescension. At least Trump has been transparent about that.

Redshirt

I was referring to the recent referendums turning the tide towards statehood. Maybe they’ll get in if the Dems get 12 to 16 years in power.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Wow. Congress is finally tackling the important issues affecting Puerto Rico.

herodotus450
herodotus450

“Wait, cockfighting is about animals? Puerto Rican Harvey Milk wins again!”
-Congress

ballsofsteelandfury

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ballsofsteelandfury

TAMALE!!!!!

Wakezilla

Now we’re talking! A German chocolate factory leaks out on to street, creating a street out of Candyland

https://globalnews.ca/news/4753514/chocolate-factory-leak-street/amp/

WCS

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Redshirt

That reminds me when a cattle trailer got in a wreck and there was runaway cows and bulls all up and down the Interstates at rush hour.

scotchnaut

Year end inventory taking place this Friday. Fuck everything.

WCS

Bring the scotch and buy some codeine Tylenol.

Redshirt

My answer to my esteemed coworkers asking if I can help with Year End Inventory is the same every year:

“You crapped in your bed for 360 days. You can spend 5 days rolling around in it.”

Best of luck to you.

yeah right

Still alive in the Little Drummer Boy challenge. I’ve taken to being anti-social when I go to the store by wearing my ear buds. I’m sure the cashiers will understand.

Wakezilla

Next year, I’m going to try to avoid it

scotchnaut

Does anyone remember DePaul?

-DeJohn Smith

WCS

Wakezilla

I heard the little drummer Boy the first time this year last night. It was surprisingly easier to do as I don’t think that song is ‘in’ these days