Your “Playing in a Winter Wonderland” AFC Playoff Game Open Thread

They (people) are saying as of the morning time that the snow’s a’falling and will taper off during the afternoon. WHO WILL THIS FAVOR? HOW? WHY? I MUST KNOW! WILL THERE BE SLUSH? WILL SOMEONE THAT DOES’NT USUALLY WEAR GLOVES BE WEARING GLOVES?

Sorry for the rampant capitalization folks-I was just preparing you for the most important screeching queries the pre-gamers will be filling air-time with. That said, ‘snow football’ is a precious treat that doesn’t come along nearly as often as it should. Anyone remember that game where no one could see the sideline or the yard markers? I do, sorta. I recall that there were two teams involved and that one of them beat the other. God, memories… [sighs]

TO THE GAME!

Young Horsies/Old Native Americans:

As far as injuries are concerned wr Sammy Watkins is expected to parka up but safety Malik Hooker (on the hook to help tamp down the influence of Tyreek) is questionable.

The delightful A. Schefter has pointed out-as have many others-that the Colts have won as many playoff tilts at Arrowhead as have the Chiefs themselves. So there might be something to my theory that the stadium was built on an old Indian’s* Pet Cemetery Scorned Woman Wrongfully-Executed Man Burial Ground. Subscribe to my blog if you want to learn more.

I am a bit concerned that if one combines the above with Andy Reid’s playoff adventures/negative clock juju, the Chiefs might have too much going against them. The Colts have scored TD’s on their first two drives in each of their last two games but then tend to settle into the running game and let the D do the lifting the rest of the game. You and I [winks] both know that a two-score lead is nothing to a fella that tossed 50 six-pointers this past regular season. The Colts OC Nick Sirianni (why is this guy not more prominently mentioned these days?) says that his #1 job is to put up points today and he’ll most likely have to do a 40-spot ’cause them KC’ers average 35 overall.

Is the laundry folded? Okay, now you can watch the game.

*forgive the outdated nomenclature but damnit, I needed it in order to make the joke work

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Gatoraids

Year of the doink

Horatio Cornblower

Like Cris, I am also amazed that the no-huddle offense fires up an offense, since the defense can’t get the packages they want on the field, and are also playing prevent in the last two minutes of the first half, for some Reidian reason.

rockingdog

OMG!!!!!!!!

Gratliff

lol Chiefs are gonna drop this shit for sure

Horatio Cornblower

Well, when you ingest as much protein as Andy you’ve gotta drop it sooner or later.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Excuse me, you want snowballs? Have a whole stadium filled with holiday drunks and people who long gave away their season tickets to various degenerate friends. Oh, and also have a 12 inch blizzard earlier in the week, and you get December 23, 1995. (Go to 6:34 if you want a deliciously offensive comment from the newsman)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4dKmh-IxJ4

King Hippo

TWO first downs!

fleshwound_NPG

andy reid was just mad the snowballs were delaying his halftime rib buffet

Gratliff

Wal-Mart using all its stolen wages for that licensing

King Hippo

now featuring SLAVES!

rockingdog

Insurmountable lead?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What does Flint’s water supply have to do with this?

Mr. Ayo

Not with Reid prominently involved.

WCS

Uh, this is Andy Reid we’re talking about. Infinity wouldn’t be enough.

WCS

Now, I’m only ever going to hear Cotton Hill whenever I see Parcells speak.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, it’s probably been about as long since Parcells has seen his own shins.

Brick Meathook

Andy Reid was telling the crowd to “hit ’em in the head. IN THE HEAD!”

Gatoraids

Chiefs peaking like Andy’s blood sugar levels

Mother Puncher

The Colts managed to be the world’s most overrated underdogs

King Hippo

huzzah for horse tranqs!

Gratliff

loolllll that ref ate so much shit

Senor Weaselo

Ref is down!

fleshwound_NPG

LOL DED REF

Spur

Andy asking if they can throw a hotdog.

Horatio Cornblower

Just like my prom, the Chiefs could really use more Khunt down here at the goal line.

Gratliff

Goddamn that was a fine defensive play

fleshwound_NPG

it’s just fucking snowballs

Gratliff

“CORRECT” – Last 4 generations of Philly fans

Redshirt

It could be a iceball.

King Hippo

it’s cute how Hobo Reich is using his timeouts

Horatio Cornblower

Just wait until he uses his third one; that’s a killer.

Mother Puncher

I’m watching at a bar with the sound off. Why was Andy so mad?

Horatio Cornblower

Chocolate fountain shut off.

WCS

The halftime buffet only has pulled pork.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Found out that the “all you can eat” coupon only referred to soup and salad.

herodotus450

Andy Reid furious to discover fans were throwing snowballs and not Snowballs.

rockingdog

bahahahaha!

Horatio Cornblower

Coincidentally, I am having ribs for dinner.

Gratliff

Good thing it’s not Philly or they’d be hearing about this for 45 fucking years.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Message by Duracell

fleshwound_NPG

andy reid not happy those were snowballs and not scoops of ice cream

Redshirt

“YOU DON’T LIVE IN PHILADELPHIA, YOU LIVE IN KANSAS CITY!”

Wakezilla
King Hippo

As a child in CLT, we always played football all day when we got our “once every 3-4 years” appreciable snowfall

Wakezilla

In my elementary school days, we’d pretend it was the Grey Cup when we played football in the snow during recess. The diving for the ball increased significantly in the snow.

King Hippo

oh yeah. I had plastic goalposts, kicking was a blast, too

Senor Weaselo

As the smallest one in my grade, I got trucked once when I was in 8th grade near the brick wall behind me. Fortunately not INTO the brick wall behind me, so all I got was a bloody nose.

fleshwound_NPG

kelce getting that “let’s not cover jason witten” treatment

Horatio Cornblower

Helen Keller?

King Hippo

Why did Helen Keller’s dog kill itself?

You would too if your name was BXMSNCSJBZXFR

Horatio Cornblower

Why did Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Adam Vinateri has been a kicker since 1996. His first NFL game was Jimmy Johnson’s first in Miami.

Gratliff

ded ankle

King Hippo

yeah, I feel less good about next week now

King Hippo

Sammy Watkins, remembered the stickum.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, Southwest, board this flight so I can watch the Chefs on my phone

Horatio Cornblower

Why would you cover Travis Kelce when you could just let him run over the middle unopposed?

herodotus450

Usually Travis does the covering…comment image

Redshirt

Right now an assistant coach is really regretting saying “We gotta get the ball back to our offense!”

Senor Weaselo

Bud Light: Now with ingredients!

King Hippo

Beer – it’s made with stuff!

Redshirt

I noticed “TASTE” wasn’t on the Ingredient List.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll bet water is.

Senor Weaselo

Unlike Bachelor Chow!comment image

Horatio Cornblower

I had this game on the radio and the announcer described the field as ‘moist’, and I thought “well, it’s a good thing that the Chargers aren’t playing there this week, because Rivers would have knocked it up.”

herodotus450
Spur

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A special teams collapse would be newish for Reidan playoff failure, right?

fleshwound_NPG

true, but not for kc playoff failure

WCS

Paradigm shift!

herodotus450

“I thought they were just regular teams, but with Mayo mixed in. How hard could it be?”

Horatio Cornblower

Can you call time out and challenge your own punt at the same time?

herodotus450

Pascal really putting the pressure on the Chefs with that one.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Banner nominee.

King Hippo

this is why we hedge bet
this is why we hedge bet
this is why we hedge bet
this is why we hedge bet
this is why we hedge bet

rockingdog

POINTS for HORSES!!!!!!
blocked punttt

Spur
King Hippo

oh merde

Redshirt

Wow. 2nd Half is coming in early this game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[smiles]

That’s my Chiefs.

Gratliff

Here comes the pain

Senor Weaselo

PLOT TWIST! Blocked!