Your “Playing in a Winter Wonderland” AFC Playoff Game Open Thread

They (people) are saying as of the morning time that the snow’s a’falling and will taper off during the afternoon. WHO WILL THIS FAVOR? HOW? WHY? I MUST KNOW! WILL THERE BE SLUSH? WILL SOMEONE THAT DOES’NT USUALLY WEAR GLOVES BE WEARING GLOVES?

Sorry for the rampant capitalization folks-I was just preparing you for the most important screeching queries the pre-gamers will be filling air-time with. That said, ‘snow football’ is a precious treat that doesn’t come along nearly as often as it should. Anyone remember that game where no one could see the sideline or the yard markers? I do, sorta. I recall that there were two teams involved and that one of them beat the other. God, memories… [sighs]

TO THE GAME!

Young Horsies/Old Native Americans:

As far as injuries are concerned wr Sammy Watkins is expected to parka up but safety Malik Hooker (on the hook to help tamp down the influence of Tyreek) is questionable.

The delightful A. Schefter has pointed out-as have many others-that the Colts have won as many playoff tilts at Arrowhead as have the Chiefs themselves. So there might be something to my theory that the stadium was built on an old Indian’s* Pet Cemetery Scorned Woman Wrongfully-Executed Man Burial Ground. Subscribe to my blog if you want to learn more.

I am a bit concerned that if one combines the above with Andy Reid’s playoff adventures/negative clock juju, the Chiefs might have too much going against them. The Colts have scored TD’s on their first two drives in each of their last two games but then tend to settle into the running game and let the D do the lifting the rest of the game. You and I [winks] both know that a two-score lead is nothing to a fella that tossed 50 six-pointers this past regular season. The Colts OC Nick Sirianni (why is this guy not more prominently mentioned these days?) says that his #1 job is to put up points today and he’ll most likely have to do a 40-spot ’cause them KC’ers average 35 overall.

Is the laundry folded? Okay, now you can watch the game.

*forgive the outdated nomenclature but damnit, I needed it in order to make the joke work

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
577 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Spur

It’s Andy Reid time. Let’s see if Mahomes can over come. A few Colts fans here at the bar. They look sullen.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They’re probably just hungry.

fleshwound_NPG

gonna eat dinner, perhaps NOW the collapse will happen…

herodotus450

Just realized the Kliff in Kingsbury is, or at least better be, short for Klifford. Klifford Kingsbury sounds like the ref at a cricket match.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I can feel it coming in the air tonight.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_NeqMAAsBk

herodotus450

-girl giving me a handjob on my flight to Atlanta

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

fleshwound_NPG

this is about the time andy reid 2nd half collapse happens…

Gatoraids

2nd Valve as well

Viva La Tabula Raza

Maybe he’s saving it for next week…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

LemonJello

Anything can be a dildo if you’re brave enough.

King Hippo

ppl forget that!!

No, they don’t. – Any Emergency Room professional

Gratliff

The implication is less creepy than like 75% of what that creep director had those girls doing on that show.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is exactly how I felt last year, so…you never know.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Been out running around in the Hill Country this afternoon, just tuned in. Seems like I was much better served enjoying the nice weather.

Senor Weaselo

The special teams is doing its damndest here.

Recovery Whiskey

Did FSU license their stadium chant to KC

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

LemonJello

Look at these two, acting like they don’t know what to do with all those cocks in their faces.

Don T

Jimmy Fallon from Puerto Rico looking good so far!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I thought that belonged to the Atlanta Braves. As I recall, Ted Turner’s wife was quite critical of it.

King Hippo

u meen Hanoi Jane!!111??

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yep. And I’d still bump boots with her today.

King Hippo

Lot of work for -0.5 yards on 3rd and 10 there

fleshwound_NPG

3rd and 10

-1 yard out

good work

King Hippo

and that’s NOT Andy Reid’s side!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Wow, even I don’t dance after every sack I got” – Jerry Sandusky

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We also would have accepted “Peyton Manning’s trainer in college”.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Why can’t my kids read? The public education system is failing our children!”

– those parents in the VW ad, six months later

King Hippo

The one thing we really need is MOAR accountability for the highly-educated professional making less than the gas station assistant manager

Horatio Cornblower

15 yards, stealing this guy’s schtick:
comment image?itemid=7954254

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

WCS

That was Trump Tweet-level stoopid.

Redshirt

Wow. Not only was #96 turned down on live TV, he got flagged for it too.

King Hippo

you’re down 24-7, uh….the “suck it” dance might not be your best option

Recovery Whiskey

Referee is not a fan of sack dancing

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Probably the pelvic thrusting in his direction is what triggered the ref.

fleshwound_NPG

that’s bullshit

Senor Weaselo

Gained a yard or two from the missed FG… except then they lost it from the unsportsmanlike.

King Hippo

I’d go for it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Senor Weaselo

FREEPLAYCEPTION means nothing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

fleshwound_NPG

eat at arbys

yeah right

Making the 2 day mother sauce with the sausages and the ground pork and it’s day 1 and 2 hours in. I’ll serve tomorrow after another 8 hours of simmering.

How do you turn off your olfactory sense?

King Hippo

smoke two packs of Kools?

yeah right

“Honey Nut Cheerios and a pack of Newports.”

King Hippo

#BreakfastOfChampions

Col. Duke LaCross
yeah right

“What happened to your nose Jake?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have to say, it truly breaks my heart to see Kansas City Chiefs fans experience joy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

If it makes you feel any better, it breaks their hearts trying to pump blood through those clogged arteries.

King Hippo

that was fucking ridiculous

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

yeah right

Karate chop that Boston butt!

LemonJello

Someone really likes to beat their meat…

King Hippo

Honky reception alert!

/Dieter from Sprockets??

WCS

Would you like to touch his monkey?

King Hippo

feel him, touch him, LOVE HIM!!

King Hippo

/also the Jimmy Stewart one was the funniest

Col. Duke LaCross

In order for the Chiefs to defeat the Patriots…they must become them!

fleshwound_NPG

grumblelord’s next star WR

Horatio Cornblower

Mina Kimes Retweeted

Charles Woodson

Verified account

@CharlesWoodson
15m15 minutes ago
Now he misses in the snow

King Hippo

my teenager told me “that (chimichurri) chicken you made was dank.”

Hippo: Is that good?

/apparently, yes

herodotus450

comment image

herodotus450

May have been thinking of this one:comment image

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I mean the Chiefs have such a storied history, who threw for the most yards in their last championship game?

OH SHIT IT’S DAVE KRIEG? Damn.

Don T

“Is this is the Kids’ Menu?”
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

This Is Us – so BRAVE. Fat ppl! Interracial couples!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Pfft, if they were so brave they’d have a fat interracial gay couple.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

What a coincidence: I don’t want to see how sausage OR ‘This Is Us’ is made!

King Hippo

#MaximumWoke

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I am simultaneously enraged and delighted by the automatic association of the doink with Cody Fucking Parkey

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

/Misses FG
//Hits all 3 uprights while doing so
///Coach pulls me aside

Son, you never go full Parkey.

King Hippo

welcome to how it felt to be a Donks WOO!! fan everytime Rahim Goddamned Moore took the field after 2013(4)?

herodotus450

Colts are ready for Gostkowski to be a free agent.

Senor Weaselo

So he can doink a chip shot at the age of 46?

rockingdog

DOINK gonna DOINK!!!!!!
*the price is wrong horn

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is why I can’t stand the fucking Chiefs. Most experienced kicker in NFL history can’t even make a gimme against them.

Horatio Cornblower

Yes, the Chiefs have certainly had their share of success since… *squints at note*

Who the hell is Len Dawson?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HAHA, nice.

yeah right

I remember that bastard.

yeah right

Yes I watched and REMEMBER Superb Owl IV. We were favored by 13!

...

23 yard doink yet every Bears fan shat themselves over a 43 yard doink

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shut your pie hole, he shouldn’t have still been on the roster after the Lions game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

but FIELD IS MOIST! MOIST, I tells u!!

fleshwound_NPG

DECADE OF THE DOINK

Col. Duke LaCross

I’m sure Cris know his dongs.

Redshirt

DOINK!

WCS

DOINK LOLZ

Gratliff

Parkey’d

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He Parkey’d It?

King Hippo

PARKEY TRIBUTE WOO!!

Mr. Ayo

*see banner comment*