Your “It’s Really Kind of Quiet, If I Don’t Find Things That Interest Me” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Franchise tag update:
    • The Texans have tagged Jadeveon Clowney.
      • The difficulty lies in how to clarify his “tag”, since he is listed as “DE/OLB”. The defensive end tag sits at $17.128 million for one year. The linebacker tender is worth $15.443 million.
  • Early Combine reports are that the Cardinals will draft Kyler Murray & trade Josh Rosen.
    • They are hopeful they can get a third-round pick for Rosen in exchange, which will make up for the third- and fifth-round picks they gave to Oakland last year to move up to #10.
    • There is always the chance that he goes to the Pats for a 7th-rounder, gets converted to special teams, and then becomes the next Steve Tasker.
  • Another Combine rumour is that Roger Goodell might go around the Competition Committee and force them to bring in some kind of change to the replay rules.
    • Florio says it’ll be something along the lines of the AAF’s Sky Judge, which is receiving near-universal acclaim for keeping calls honest.
  • The latest Todd Gurley rumour is arthritis in the left knee.
    • They are apparently considering stem cell treatments, because traditional methods don’t seem to be alleviating the problem.
    • This is a huge cap problem for the Rams, as on March 16 he becomes locked in for $34 million against it until 2022.

Finally, our old friend Dave Rappoccio has the appropriate take on Jason Witten going back to the Cowboys.


If you’re not following her, someone who is also very good at Twitter right now is Becky Lynch from WWE Smackdown. She’s resting injuries, so they’ve got her running this gamut of being screwed over by Vince McMahon in favour of Charlotte Flair and interfering in Ronda Rousey matches, all building to a three-way dance headlining Wrestlemania.

To build her brand, she’s been throttling her colleagues on Twitter.

https://twitter.com/BeckyLynchWWE/status/1082077784942485504

https://twitter.com/BeckyLynchWWE/status/1102635445660405761

Most recently, they had her “arrested” at RAW,

which has been turned into marketable merch,

and another “incident” she’s spun that into gold as well.

https://twitter.com/BeckyLynchWWE/status/1101089831323664384

She’s one of the few reasons Redshirt & I still occasionally meet over at The Old Place.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Oilers at Sabres – 7:00PM | Sportsnet / NHLN
    • Leafs at Flames – regional broadcast only
  • NBA:
    • Mavs at Nets – 7:30PM | NBATV
    • Nuggets at Spurs – 8:30PM | TSN2
    • Clippers at Lakers – 10:30PM | NBATV
  • NCAA:
    • Men’s
      • Virginia at Syracuse – 7:00PM | ESPN
      • Kansas State at TCU – 9:00PM | ESPN2
      • Texas at Texas Tech – 9:00PM | ESPN
    • Women’s:
      • Baylor at West By Golly Virginia – 7:00PM | FS1
      • Connecticut at South Florida – 7:00PM | ESPN2
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Big Daddy Drew has been on another of his anti-mayo rants again. GET ON IT, PEOPLE!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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yeah right

If you need a good power wash from propaganda watch Dark Tourist the episode called The Stans on Netflix. It’s a perfect study on how intelligence and the advancement in the human species far surpasses our political bullshit. We’ve been doing positive advances in science and knowledge for years with the help of the Russians, the Chinese and any country who cares about moving this stupid human race forward. It’s not about geopolitical struggle or ideology it’s about science.

We’ve got to get past the blinders of propaganda and god knows we’ve created a fucking cottage industry of that shit.

Fuck you Fox news.

Unsurprised

Dave can afford to have a backyard in Portland?

Senor Weaselo

Don’t wanna sway the votes one way or the other, but one of the polls for today has been going back and forth, so if you haven’t done it, vote. Your single vote might actually mean something!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Don’t listen to Comrade Veasel. He know not what he say.

Redshirt

Wow. A Democrat who doesn’t want to run for President?

https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/04/politics/hillary-clinton-2020/index.html

Senor Weaselo

And Hillary of all people?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Can you blame her?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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SonOfSpam

So 19 > 7.

Congrats on the Tech gamblors tonite!

Double it tomorrow on…I dunno, something.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Gotta look at the lines.
Plan to build it to $10k by end of March, then party like a motherfucker in June in SoCal.

SonOfSpam

There is no possible way you can lose.

Unless you listen to me (tonight notwithstanding)

theeWeeBabySeamus

A little over $5500 in the acct now.

SonOfSpam

Be happy to help, but keep in mind I may be no help.

Senor Weaselo

Stupid GAMBLOR tricks?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Fronkenshteen

Left

Mr. Ayo

Then right

litre_cola

Why can’t it be both?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Definitely left.

Sharkbait

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m not entirely sure why I’m still watching The Walking Dead in general, but I will say that watching it while eating leftover ribs definitely adds a level of interactiveness that I wasn’t expecting.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Alpha thinks you’re awesome.

Fronkenshteen

Also, home buying. Is this a good time? A bad time? I live in Virginia if that informs your answer.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Sounds like you need to talk to Duchess.

SonOfSpam

Might wait a year for depressing crash? Yeah, talk to someone un-clueless.

Fronkenshteen

Hello smart people. Coal, Oil, Natural Gas. Green New Deal. I’ve heard the idiots shrieking at the margins of both arguments. What are your thoughts? Any good links to trustworthy literature appreciated.

SonOfSpam

No links, just buzzed liberal. Obviously need to go green for climate. Already being done. Oil ain’t dying any time soon, so people shitting on the green stuff are afraid of financial something. We can endeavor to get greener without being stupid. Absolutely no one is suggesting we trade planes for bicycles.

SonOfSpam

Oh wait…you said “smart people” so please disregard

herodotus450

Natural gas seems like it will be cheap for a long time still, barring a carbon credit/tax.

Brick Meathook

I have just one word for you, are you ready? ATOMIC POWER

SonOfSpam

(please no spoilers East Coast people)

FUCK YEAH KEN JENNINGS FUCK EM UP!!!

Senor Weaselo
SonOfSpam

He is my hero.

I was on about a year before him, and I am very happy I didn’t encounter him.

Gratliff

Torrie Wilson going into the Hall of Fame

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King Hippo

My last shot at #HAILGAMBLOR is Alianza Petrolera of the Colombian league. It’s now like 10 minutes past when the half should be over, and I’m guessing…Civil War?

King Hippo

never mind, here we go. VIVA!!

SonOfSpam

Prolly the refs doing a more complicated coke deal than anticipated.

King Hippo

and Petrolera takes a 2-1 lead!

GOD BLESS COCAINE

SonOfSpam

I mean, duh.

herodotus450

The timing of Johnny Manziel’s expulsion from Canada and the whole SNC-Lavalin thing is a little too coincidental, don’t you think? If anyone knows Harvey Weinstein let him know I got a script cooking here.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Throw in a down-on-his-luck private eye and you’ve got yourself a movie: The Last Boy Scoot.

SonOfSpam

Nice brand synergy: Currently drinking a Fat Tire Ale while also having a fat tire around my waist.

Gratliff

Raw currently doing a segment with the current Weekend Update duo who are probably the two least funny TV personalities at the moment

Redshirt

That’s what makes them good Weekend Update commentator: good enough to make jokes, but not enough to remember them.

It sadly what prevents them from reaching the upper echelon of Update commentators.

litre_cola

Sorry Twbs, I too bet on Guns Up. My apologies for our loss.

theeWeeBabySeamus

We be a’ight.

Probably.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The line just moved to 8.5.
holy shit.

SonOfSpam

Where you at? -7?

(The line moved because people saw my support for Tech)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup. $200 on TT -7.

But why did the line jump that much just before tip?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Someone needs to go check on Scotchy.
Syracuse sucks worse than I thought.

Sharkbait

I forgot how awesomely dark The Big Short is.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m putting two bills down on the Red Raiders. If they beat the spread, I’ll have $5500 in the acct. If they don’t, I’ll still have a cool $5k. Either way, I’ll get my check in August probably. LOL.
GUNS UP!!!!!
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Sharkbait

Sup

Gratliff

Goddamn, I forgot Fox News went on a whole anti-Mr. Rogers campaign. The sheer amount of evil shit you’d have to pull to make that be something insignificant enough that people forget is staggering.

SonOfSpam

Wait…really? (I mean, shouldn’t be shocked, just don’t remember that)

Gratliff

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Redshirt

I think insulting Mr. Rogers on 4chan is still a instant perma-ban.

Senor Weaselo

Some things are too fucked up even for them.

litre_cola
litre_cola
SonOfSpam

The true loss of today. (j/k who cares) (j/k RIP Sideshow Luke Perry)

litre_cola

I didn’t don’t listen to a lot of EDM music but I fucking loved them.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, for what they were (which is I think what you’re saying?) they were excellent.

litre_cola

Yep, music to run through a wall too. Drugs or no drugs. Drugs preferable tho!

SonOfSpam
herodotus450

I’ve travelled all the way from 2003 to tell you all this: I can’t tell Franz Ferdinand and Modest Mouse apart, and I don’t like either of them.
/Oh they’re also band names?

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL. I have also previously had that same thought.

Senor Weaselo

Wait, they had more than one song each?

SonOfSpam

No. Only one each. And they’re kinda the same.

(Float On >>> Take Me Out)

Senor Weaselo

Take Me Out is Franz Ferdinand because assassination jokes!

King Hippo

I will NAWT have the genius Modest Mouse slandered this way:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nH1OZe98J5U

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d have gone with Third Planet, but otherwise you’re goddamned right.

King Hippo

tracks 1, 2, 3 on that album are all amazeballs. Incredible start to an album, punch, kick, slap to the genitals

herodotus450

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Gratliff

I involuntarily did the whole song

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pishposh! Modest Mouse is good!

King Hippo

I don’t even like ’em in the same SENTENCE with Franz Ferdinand, the most generic of generic late 90s rock

Don T

You Could Have It So Much Better is an incredible album because of how fucking AMAZING it is.

So there. Now excuse me; I was in mid-seethe about crap.

litre_cola

Agreed. The man on the island is bang on here.

Redshirt

If you find 2003 me, tell him to punch Jeff in the face and run. He’s know what I mean when it happens to me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I’m gonna drop some coin on TxTech tonight -7.
What say you Hippo?

theeWeeBabySeamus

“…if you have an erection lasting for more than four hours….”

Sorry, commercial is on.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m glad I didn’t bet ‘Cuse to cover. Almost did.

SonOfSpam

DO THE BET. Red Raiders gonna curbstomp the Horns.

theeWeeBabySeamus

UVa/Cuse line was +6.5. They’re down by 15 now.
Whew.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, glad you didn’t. UVa is really really good unless Coach K/Refs is the opponent.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Indeed they are. But they don’t usually score like this. They usually do it on D.
I dodged a bullet.

SonOfSpam

“Damn, you’re pretty quick!”

– J. Seau

(But for reals, like the Red Raiders 2nite)

King Hippo

I have been abstaining hoopsball, and I never advocate betting the spread (only ML)

theeWeeBabySeamus

College Gymnastics is on.
I should not be watching this.

nomonkeyfun

You are just creepy for watching college gymnastics. Olympic gymnastics is the criminal one.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Seriously, this girl from UCLA doing the floor routine looks like she smoked too much meth.
She did stick the landing though.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oklahoma on the balance beam now.
There’s a joke there.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, there’s gotta be some hockey on somewhere, before I schedule surgery to cut off my penis.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve had a really difficult coupla months. You assholes have kept me sane.
Well, mostly sane.
Wellllll…..as close to sane as I ever have been.
Well, not batshit insane.
Ok just barely batshit insane.
OK fine, I haven’t (yet) gone on a murder spree thanks to you fucknuts.
Thanks?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSftABlOixc

SonOfSpam

I like reading Spring Training box scores; for example, today I learned the White Sox have a third baseman named Mendick.

King Hippo

How did he manage not to get snagged by Man City’s academy?

SonOfSpam

They already have a Chapdong.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I had a chapped dong once.
It really made jerking off painful.

SonOfSpam

No pain, no veinchowder

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehe

herodotus450

Bet he’s glad he doesn’t play for the Yanquis cause he’d have to shave a lot more often.

Gratliff

Watching the Mr. Rogers doc with the boy, and we got to his testimony at the senate hearing testimony, and my newly cynical, spitefully independent idgaf Large Adult 11 Year Old Son just burst into tears, and I’m torn between being touched and openly taunting him for not being as tough as he likes to think he is

King Hippo

TRUE HIPPO FACT! Mister Rogers was mah undergrad Commencement speaker (at NC State)

SonOfSpam

In order to reach the Wolfpack grads, he did the whole speech as Henrietta Pussycat.

SonOfSpam

“HA WHAT A PUSSY NO WONDER I GET TO FUCK YOUR MOTHER” is definitely something you should say to your son.

King Hippo

sir, I likes how you parent!

King Hippo

How do you manage to have a shitty NHL teevee deal in Canadia of all places? That would be like if televangelists were all blacked out in The South.

herodotus450

I’d say sparing most of the country from watching the Leafos is a good deal.

herodotus450

Butalso, “Reginal (and regional) broadcast” covers like 90% of the population anyway.

King Hippo

thus Gary Bettman, regional disgrace eh?

rockingdog

found a funny:

ME: Alexa play Snoop Dogg
ALEXA: have you smoked any weed today
ME: what
ALEXA: the devil’s lettuce, have you partaken
ME: no
ALEXA: here’s some Maroon 5 instead bitch

Senor Weaselo

It’s the penalty for not following Snoop’s advice. E’RYDAY MEANS E’RY DAY!

Redshirt

Today was the first time I listened to the lyrics of “Don’t You Want Me” by Human League. I never realized how dark the guy’s lyrics was:

But don’t forget it’s me
Who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too

King Hippo

it’s like that uncomfortable moment when you realize Hey, the lead nerd (in Revenge of the Nerds) totally raped that girl!

SonOfSpam

Back then, women weren’t quite so mad about getting tongue-raped.

King Hippo

ppl DUE forget that!

Redshirt

Marty: “Okay. So right around 9:00, she’s gonna get very angry with me.”
George: “Why?”
Marty: “Why, what?”
George: “Why is she gonna get angry with you?”
Marty: “Well…because…well, nice girls get angry at guys who…who try to take advantage of ’em.”

…but.. Lorraine wouldn’t be involved in the plan…

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Marty’s whole plan in “Back to the Future” was not only making out with his mother, but pretend to assault her?!

SonOfSpam

Marty’s whole plan was…kinda shaky.
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ballsofsteelandfury

This comment deserves more likes.

SonOfSpam

We knew how to treat bitches in the 80s (while wearing lots of eyeliner)

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO, I was literally just on this road multiple times a few weeks ago.
COME ON RAVENS GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!!!!
https://baltimore.cbslocal.com/video/4039045-alex-collins-arrested-released-by-ravens/

King Hippo

He do sommet more than kill a guy? Because we know that ain’t enough.

theeWeeBabySeamus

DUI is my assumption. Nobody hurt as far as I can find.

But my hotel from about a month ago was on that road.

SonOfSpam

The incident was right up the street from Boyfucker Inn?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, that’s pigfucker to you!!!!!

SonOfSpam

Best show by far in the McFarlane universe.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed.

Gratliff

Luke Perry (top left with the shirt) cheering on his son, Jack/Jungle Boy, at a PWG show a month or so ago. I don’t know why this picture makes me so sad.

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King Hippo

Wait here a minute now, is yeeewwwww sayin’ “Jungle Boy” ain’t even no Negro? – Jefferson Beauregard S., Lickspittle, AL

King Hippo

Also, not surprised to see that Fuckers du Cousins are so shit this season that God hisself turned his back on ’em

ballsofsteelandfury

Guarantee the Patriots pick up Rosen and he becomes the next Brady.

WCS

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

/Bob Kraft’s Rabbi cums

King Hippo

Man, now I want Bob Kraft’s Rabbi as a DFO Character

herodotus450

“Hmm well Mr. Kraft I’m not a moyle; let me refer you to a place I know down in Jupiter, FL.”

King Hippo

For a 3rd, I’d take him on the Donks.