Your “A Fraud Is A God Who’s Been Given The Nod” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Looking for worse is Vontaze Burfict, who is visiting the Raiders & GM Coach Jon Gruden.
    • NFL.com takes a jab at former employee Mike Mayock by observing, “Mayock once called Burfict undraftable while working as an analyst for NFL Network.”

  • Dust off that mic & ready the forehead powder, because ESPN has again approached Peyton Manning about joining the Monday Night booth.
    • Last time they asked, Jason Witten retired, so hopefully this time it’s Tyler Eifert – if only to save the poor bastard from more Andy Dalton hospital passes across the middle.
  • Florida prosecutors are willing to drop the solicitation charges against Robert Kraft.
    • IF he’s willing to accept the condition that he would have been found guilty had they proceeded to trial.
      • It’s apparently the “standard diversion program offered to first-time offenders”.
    • However, it’s unknown how that would confront the league’s personal conduct policy for owners.

Finally, here’s another friendly Beerguy reminder to not forget to join the DFO Bracket Challenge – It’s in the ESPN Bracket Challenge, our group name is “DFO Bracket Insanity” and the password is DFO.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Islanders – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Capitals at Devils – 7:30PM | NBCSN
    • Oilers at Blues – 8:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • NBA:
    • Lakers at Bucks – 8:00PM | TSN3 / NBATV
    • Warriors at T-wolves – 8:00PM | TSN5
    • Pacers at Clippers – 10:30PM | NBATV
  • NCAA:
    • NCAA Basketball Tournament:
      • Fairleigh Dickinson vs. Prairie View A&M – 6:30PM | truTV / TSN
      • Belmont vs. Temple – 9:00PM | truTV / TSN
    • NIT Basketball Tournament:
      • Hofstra at North Carolina State – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • St. Francis (Pa.) at Indiana – 7:00PM | ESPN
      • Wright State at Clemson – 7:00PM | ESPNU
      • Arkansas at Providence – 9:00PM | ESPN2
      • Loyola (Chicago) at Creighton – 9:00PM | ESPNU
      • South Dakota State at Texas – 9:00PM | ESPN
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

We all accept the play-in games are crass commercialism, so there’s no real need to respect them. Besides – VIRGINIA’S THE REAL FRAUD!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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WakezillaCol. Duke LaCrosstheeWeeBabySeamusBrick MeathookBeerguyrob Recent comment authors
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Wakezilla

16 years ago today, the Bush administration began the invasion of Iraq, aided and abetted by corporate media. It’s hard* to believe that most of those assholes are either working in the news (the fuck you doing MSNBC?) or working with Trump, trying to promote the same shit in a bunch of different countries, with the same media taking their word at face value. Bah!

*It’s not actually hard to believe

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Col. Duke LaCross

That makes it a little easier to take. Is she from Latina Hills?

Wakezilla

I don’t know what Latina Hills is, but it sounds like paradise.

She’s from Venezuela.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That ninja tried to kill my fatherrrrrrrr….

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I saw a mongoose for dinner and a couple drinks. He’s got some good ideas.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Shall we discuss European politics now?

In the spirit of the Electoral College debate, I say the Brexit referendum should have included a clause that said if any of the 4 Home Countries (England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland) voted contrary to the others, the referendum was nullified. What say you?

Example: Scotland voted to Remain while the other three voted to Leave. Thus, in my scenario, the vote is nullified and there is no result.

Discuss…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, shit just got real.
But I agree.

Redshirt

Agreed. Its the United Kingdom; not England and The Rest.

Honestly, I’m surprised May hasn’t resigned or been forced out. This has been thoroughly mishandled. I don’t know enough to have a position one way (exit with deal) or the other (exit with no deal) or the third (stay in EU), but its almost like she’s sending the same deal over and over again, hoping Parliament will decide to vote for it to shut her up.

Watching the Crown, I know the Sovereign is supposed to be non-political and indifferent. But at some point, you think she would get involved. I know the real power is in the Government and she’s mostly there for tradition, but if no one wants to be the grown up, it may as well be the Queen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Raiders signed Vontaze! Burfict and Antonio Brown are on the same team!

Redshirt

Why Trump? Why did you have to tweet your love for the Electoral College? I don’t want to be on your side!

Seriously, I read a fix only that should make everyone happy. Proportional Electoral College. States are no longer winner take all; the electoral votes are proportional to the states electoral votes. A candidate must get 25% to earn votes. Partial electoral votes only round up at 0.5 or above.

Every vote counts and each candidate still have to visit all the states to earn their votes. (stares at Hillary’s direction)

ballsofsteelandfury

Technically, electors in the electoral college can do this now. It is only tradition and political pressure that forces them to vote all for one candidate.

Redshirt

Yeah. Its a House of Lords thing or something.

Funny thing is all Liberals love Hamilton but hates the Electoral College.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federalist_No._68

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

All those liberals; all of them.

SonOfSpam

I love the electoral college, because my vote should only count about 20% as much as some asshole hick in Wyoming’s vote.

The electoral college is an outdated stupid thing and needs to go. You lose by 3 million votes, you don’t get to be president.

Redshirt

Good point, but my concern is with a Popular Vote all a Candidate has to do is visit the populous states and ignore the less populous states. The Electoral College at least tries to give the less populous states an equal footing.

Though to play Devils Advocate, the President represents the whole country so his district is the whole country. A Representative’s district is one part of a state. A Senator’s district is the whole state. Its only logical to include the whole country for the President.

Boy I’m tired. I’m arguing both sides of the issue. And convincing myself of both.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The President represents the whole country and should be elected by such. You don’t see individual states fucking around with shit like that when they elect governors, or other statewide offices.

But similarly, the President’s powers should be reined in by the legislature in order to preserve states’ powers. Our local representatives (on both sides, truly) have been shirking their responsibilities in that regard for far too long.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Hey Californians—

I’m staying in Orange and need to take the baby to meet my aunt I’m Latina Hills. What’s a good beach to take the baby too during that to/from run?

Bonus points for a casual place I can get some good seafood nearby (you liberals do have a leg up on our desert paradise when it comes to seafood).

ballsofsteelandfury

Latina Hills is what I call my lady friend’s boobs.

I’m guessing you meant Laguna Hills. Laguna Beach is very beautiful and very gay. Think West Hollywood On The Beach. Should be nice for the baby.

I’m not sure about seafood down there. Spam lives closest, so he may be able to provide restaurant recommendations.

SonOfSpam

The Main St basketball court in Laguna Beach used to be some of the best basketball in the county (going back about 25 years). Also could get a nice postgame blowie if you weren’t particular about gender.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah, that’s what he meant when he said Latina Hills

ballsofsteelandfury

I will tell you that there is a great Cuban/Spanish place in Downtown Orange:

http://www.felixcontinentalcafe.com

ballsofsteelandfury

Come to think of it, they serve seafood, so that might fit the bill.

FYI. I’ve driven from Pasadena 43 miles down there just to have lunch, so it’s a good place. It’s got nice outdoor seating too, so you can enjoy a nice California sunny day with your meal.

SonOfSpam

Hey blax…first off “Latina Hills” is awesome. God bless autocorrect. Laguna Hills is a bit inland, so depending on your exact location and time, you can hit Laguna Beach, Newport Beach, Dana Point, etc. If it’s tomorrow, we got rain all day, so there’s that. Corona Del Mar is a great family beach (i.e., safe and yuppie), you just gotta pay for parking. (Which is increasingly true everywhere) As for seafood, again, really depends where you’ll be when you wanna eat. Quick lunch? Nice dinner? So if you give me some idea, I can recommend stuff.

And Balls’s Orange recommendation is legit. Plenty of good food in downtown Orange (the Circle area).

blaxabbath

For seafood, like a beach lunch. We’re just making the obligatory family beach trip to set his toes in the pacific and “vacation” for a couple hours. Was hoping for like a place a block or two from the beach that might be more of a locals flavor than Joe’s Crab Shack.

Will push the mrs on the Felix.

SonOfSpam

Driftwood Kitchen would be really good for you guys. Right on the water in Laguna,

Something more casual in the same general area…Lost Pier Cafe is good.

If you go further south, Fisherman’s restaurant on the San Clemente Pier is great, but that may be farther than you wanna go.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Charlize could be right outside your fucking house, man.

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Redshirt

(runs outside to check)

blaxabbath

Dope. Thanks!

blaxabbath

Anyone heard that they won’t air/stream the Michael Jackson The Simpson’s episode?

King Hippo

nice spinner inside

I mean, it’s not that Belmont’s center is ugly to look at, but c’mon

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

nice spinner inside

Powered by Piper™

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I am also reading an article from The Athletic about the firing of Philly coaches Phil Martelli and Fran Dumphy.

/The Athletic is highly recommended, and I don’t mean The Atlantic

WCS

Dunphy is retiring. I understand why, too. He looks older than an unwrapped Egyptian mummy.

King Hippo

apparently the retirement was not so subtly nudged. Does the next guy physically resemble an owl, to same extent Dunphy and Cheney did?

King Hippo

I am ashamed to admit that I will watch the NIT, but not so ashamed that I will just turn the teevee box off.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Creighton/Loyola-Chi**** here.
I feel shame also.

King Hippo

I really want Shaka Smart to lose.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good point.
Fuck that guy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So you are a NITpicker.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I am so congested right now that I feel how Jeff Van Gundy looks.

King Hippo

This 11/11 play-in is pretty excellent

nomonkeyfun

I wonder if they’ll call an armistice.

nomonkeyfun

I keep thinking the commercial announcer went to a topless restaurant.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Topless restaurant? What…like no roof or what?

King Hippo

I see Temple is just as cromulent as EVAR

LemonJello
LemonJello

“TRADITION!”
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theeWeeBabySeamus

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nomonkeyfun

I’m getting very sleepy. Why?

LemonJello
LemonJello

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Gratliff

Flyera end the pivotal 4 game stretch 1-3, and it’s time to forget about hockey

King Hippo

I bet on youse at 9 to 1, down 2-0. Sorry.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Honest question….
Am I the only one who thinks baby goats in pajamas is really goddamned creepy?
(full disclosure…I have a friend who won’t stop linking this video on facebook and it’s beginning to piss me off)

Sharkbait

No. No you are not. Why is that a thing?

theeWeeBabySeamus

No idea.

theeWeeBabySeamus

There is a whole series of these vids apparently.

King Hippo

Entire state of West By God Virginia disappoint in the content of these here goat videos

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Leviticus 3:8-10

and after laying a hand on the head of the offering, it shall then be slaughtered before the tent of meeting. Aaron’s sons shall splash its blood on all the sides of the altar.

From the communion sacrifice the individual shall present as an oblation to the LORD its fat: the whole fatty tail, which is removed close to the spine, the fat that covers the inner organs, and all the fat that adheres to them,

as well as the two kidneys, with the fat on them near the loins, and the lobe of the liver, which is removed with the kidneys.

SonOfSpam

Fucking Leviticus. That dude’s a buzzkill.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Leviticus is the go-to book for Bible comedy. Monty Python always used these citations (about the guts of sacrificial animals) in their routines. Look for “LEV 3:8” when the skit is set in a church.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Bunch of penalties being levied on the Rangers: I haven’t been this excited to see a DeAngelo hit the showers since National Lampoons Christmas Vacation

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a weird:comment image

rockingdog
rockingdog

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rockingdog
rockingdog

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I know. Now you have to go to a clinic, with a “doctor”. Damn millennials.

rockingdog
rockingdog
LemonJello
LemonJello

When was Morris a spokes-cat for Planned Parenthood?

Gratliff

Cooter scores to make it a one goal game. Flyera looking to perhaps mindfuck the Habs as well?

LemonJello
LemonJello

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Sharkbait

Clay Matthews decided to RAMMIT.

WCS

Hey, Hippo and Seamus, check it out! Yinz are famous n’at!

King Hippo

Dude, I seen the WHOLE THING from start to finish. It was performance art.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

It took place in Rally, North Carolina

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Raiders sign Vontaze Me Bro.

That’s My Raiders!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

THIS GUY VONTAZE BURFICT, I CALL HIM DONALD TRUMP BECAUSE HE IS A DERANGED MILLIONAIRE WHO IS GOING TO CAUSE RIKKI TO DRINK FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER YEAR.

herodotus450
herodotus450

And both (probably) had sex with Ivanka

LemonJello
LemonJello

“I can’t speak for this Burfict fellow, but…”
-Anonymous, Washington DC

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

If Massachusetts had more tug’n’rubs available, Kraft could have got his ashes hauled locally and everything would have been swept under the rug by the Mass Staties.
But no, fucking blue nose puritan motherfuckers don’t allow that kind of business. Fucking Mass puritans are the reason we have Rhode Island.

Sharkbait

God damn puritans.

Don T

Link to bracket
http://fantasy.espn.com/tournament-challenge-bracket/2019/en/group?groupID=2900413

Not that many Catholics this year smh

BrettFavresColonoscopy

All that pulling out

King Hippo

ah DO have moneys on Temple

Sharkbait

I’m just here rooting for the 16-1 upset

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m just happy Notre Dame isn’t in it

King Hippo

+1 Ded Graduate Assistant

King Hippo

Looks like Fair Dick will pull one out at the end.

Col. Duke LaCross

Getting interesting though.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Dust off that mic & ready the forehead powder, because ESPN has again approached Peyton Manning about joining the Monday Night booth.

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scotchnaut

Having recently discovered that Maria has cheated on him, Luis decides to end it all by inhaling copious amounts of cabron monoxide.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Too bad we can’t retroactively punish celebrations comment image

Just Lurking
Just Lurking

Is there such a thing as self inflicted CTE?

King Hippo

deffo some “back and to the left” going on

scotchnaut

“There’s No ‘I’ in Teamster!”

-Jimmy Hofstra

herodotus450
herodotus450

“And there’s no “Me” under The Meadowlands.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m still laughing about this an hour later.

blaxabbath

What’s the deal that a play-in winner gets a non-16 seed. I mean, if you’re playing in shouldn’t I assume you’re a #65-68 team?

King Hippo

I take the opposite tack, ALL the play-ins should be the final 8 at-large sides. The minnows that won their league accomplished sommet, and shouldn’t be treated like the mediocre slop big-league teams.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

YES. If you suck enough that you have to play your way in, you shouldn’t come in as anything other than a 16.

/Mark Chmura agrees that you really shouldn’t come in anything other than a 16.

litre_cola

The Chmura comment is superb.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

He’s not the only one!
—Roy Moore

King Hippo

hey, we want to prove we didn’t belong in the real tourney neither! – Indiana

herodotus450
herodotus450

Fairleigh Dickinson sounds like she should be married to Stephen F. Austin.

Col. Duke LaCross

They’ll have a nice house with a Prarie View.

King Hippo

consarnit, we shoulda made this mandatory Party viewing

King Hippo

Desure Buie – great name, Hofstra dude

scotchnaut

[sends blood sample to 23 and Me]

-Notcertain Buoy

King Hippo

Old Reynolds Coliseum looks nice on teevee

Sharkbait

Considering joining the bracket challenge. It’s good if I have all four 16 seeds in the final four right?

King Hippo

one of my kids did that when she was 6, I enjoyed turning that into my office pool

scotchnaut

“Ya load 16 seeds and whatta you get? Another day older and deeper in debt.”

-Tennessee Gregor Mendel

herodotus450
herodotus450

A dominant comment.

King Hippo

oh, scotchy BRINGIN’ IT!

King Hippo

1) I LOVE the play-in nonsense. I just wish it were for the 11 or 12 seed in EACH region.

2) I bet on Hofstra to beat my Shitty Wolves in the Chase FOAR #69 (nice)