NFL News:
- Clay Matthews is now a member of RAMMIT Nation.
- A two-year deal to return to his hallowed USC turf.
- Further upsetting WineWife is Randall Cobb to the Cowboys.
- It’s one year for $5 million.
- AJ McCarron continues his mid-career collection of clipboards, signing on to be the Texans backup.
- It’s one year for $3 million.
- It’s hard to believe it’s been only 16 months since Cleveland botched a trade for him that would have paid McCarron at least $8 million per season.
- He can’t kill him if they’re teammates: Vontaze Burfict is now a Raider, joining Antonio Brown.
- It’s a one-year deal, because they just have to make sure.
Finally, Deadspin did the heavy lifting and went through all the complaints to the FCC about this year’s halftime show at the Super Bowl. Feel free to click through to see the half-funny & fully clutched pearls of people who took time away from writing #content for Mouth Flies Open to complain about Adam Levine’s nipples.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Leafs at Sabres – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Lightning at Capitals – 7:30PM | NBCSN
- Jets at Ducks – 10:00PM | NBCSN / TSN Prairies
- NBA:
- Celtics at 76ers – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN4
- Raptors at Thunder – 9:30PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
- NCAA:
- NCAA Basketball Tournament:
- North Carolina Central vs. North Dakota State – 6:30PM | truTV / TSN
- Arizona State vs. St. John’s – 9:00PM | truTV / TSN
- NIT Basketball Tournament:
- Harvard at Georgetown – 7:00PM | ESPN2
- Norfolk State at Alabama – 7:00PM | ESPNU
- Butler at Nebraska – 9:00PM | ESPN2
- Sam Houston State at TCU – 9:00PM | ESPNU
- NCAA Basketball Tournament:
The real tournament starts tomorrow. Please consider this your FINAL REMINDER to join the DFO 2019 Fantasy Bracket Challenge. The password is “DFO”.
PICK LIKE YOU’VE NEVER PICKED BEFORE!
Mouth Flies Open and Adam Levine’s nipples? Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought it would happen to me….
It’s a good thing St. John’s campus is in Fresh Meadows because that first half stunk.
seeing that list of the past 5 NIT “champions” – at least two of them coaches since been fired
“I TOLD you put an eye out!”
-mom
Well they cut it to 13? That’s probably not a great thing to say.
No, they shoot them now days.
Bobby Hurley. A miserable enough cunt to get T’d up with a 15-point lead.
`https://gfycat.com/@unsurprised/collections/09fGOi0F/animals
Sentences you never thought you’d say….
“Honey, the dog is playing with your dildo!!!!!”
It beats “Honey, where’s your dog dildo?”
That’s a very good point.
It’s all fun and games until the sheep start defying gravity.
That’s one a’ them French sheep, doin’ that Par-koor stuff lakh James Craig in that Casino Royal movie.
I’m losing weight right now with the goal of being able to hit on this woman I’ve know since 1L because that’s a fucking genius plan. But anyway it is weird to watch her play Instagram thot when her persona online is bordering on the kind of drinking problem I’ve been working on curbing in lawyers.
On a positive note, just for the sake of mental health I may be going to L.A. at the end of April.
Bunny Tax
Before I die, I really want to see Bobby Hurley’s head explode.
Let him go driving. It’ll get crushed like a watermelon.
I would have checked if Cheap Shots had any specials but Senorita Weaselo can’t drink due to medication so that’s probably a poor decisions.
/Cheap Shots is the closest bar to St. John’s
Cheep Sluts is the name of the bar I’ll be opening in Foxboro, for obvious reasons.
Just spent 4 minutes setting up my bracket and bounced all the 1 seeds out of spite. Tennessee is going to win it all in my imaginary world.
I took 3 Bendaryl (on top of my usual neck-tail of pills), ballgame is 15-33. Think I noe how this movie ends.
3??????? Holy shit, dude.
ah mean, my eyes is real itchy
I took 6-8 Benadryl each day just to sit through the bar exam the second time I took it (when I passed) my allergies were so bad. But they’ve never fucked me up. I took 2 just a little bit ago. It don’t faze me.
Arizona State has a guy named “Dort”?
St. John’s is making the Knicks look good, and then Knicks have cut it to 21 on garbage time to the Varsity Mormons.
it’s almost liek y’all not really the cradle of hoopsball no more
The last time a Mecca was in this bad shape was the Second Islamic Civil War!
What’s the password for the DFO bracket? I want to publicly embarrass myself again this year.
It’s a very complicated password. You ready?
DFO
Ah, the old “case-sensitive” gambit. Well played DFO. Well played indeed.
Going by the face….Chris Mullin drinks a lot, eh?
Also, St. John’s…you’re just a turd out there. Making Sparky look like they belong in comparison.
If I recall correctly Mullin did have the “failing”, as we Irish like to call our inability to put down the bottle and show up for work on time and not covered with our own filth.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcvKicIJWwU
well shit, if he’s got to go to them meetins, I feel bad for my mockery
I thought he was into powdered sugar back in the day. 1980’s New York and all.
But I def remember he had some issues in college or early pro fays.
Reading a NY Times article about Pacific Gas & Electric’s role in the CA wildfires and, holy shit, if every 3rd person in the executive suite isn’t put up against a wall and shot we have failed as a nation.
We’ve always been a failed nation. I’m sure Beccera will get right on top of making those investigations disappear as soon as the check clears. And God knows the feds are fucking useless.
Failed nation? Hold our lukewarm beer! – Great Britain
Schadenfreude
but I am ready for some bloodletting, water that tree of liberty, etc.
Like Frank Reynolds would EVAR do his taxes.
He was gangsta
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OzhHbchkBM
He’ll do over people’s taxes.
Earlier tonight, I was introduced to a gorgeous single woman. But she’s a hardcore Duke fan, so I know I’d end up punching her one day and going to jail soooooo…..nah.
Counterpoint: Think of the anal
Dookies do like fucking people in the ass.
Counterpoint: A woman from Duke would never report something like that, because she knows white men don’t get punished for it.
Do it for me and Redshirt and the other loveless losers, dickhead.
I don’t think she likes me anyway.
That seems to be a recurring theme lately.
Then put in a good word for me.
I don’t know why people are so freaked out about nipples. At least Levine is a white guy, can you imagine the furor otherwise?
LOL
Only in a hardware store can you walk in and say “I need a pair of half-inch nipples” and not get punched in the face.
Actually there are other places. But they cost more.
This one’s right here in San Antonio, and has been at least since I moved here when I was in high school over 40 years ago. Huh huh, nipple!
But only a dollar at a time.
“Eh, I think I’ll watch some YouTube videos.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXG5_7SYBKc
“Well, time for me to cry in the darkness. Again.”
I picked a dual mounting bracket.
Small block Chevrolet
Wow. That’s a nice pair. What a rack!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cuihrjLNAo
I’m skipping the Brackets this year. Not because I don’t enjoy making a bracket and watching it rapidly fall apart, but because I am so mentally drained that I don’t want to sit down for an hour, read the summary of each matchup on CBSSports’s website and pick teams. I just want to watch the games and enjoy the fun.
Go Bearcats, Buckeyes and Norse.
Go wuck yourselves, Folverines.
Skipping the brackets this year? What are you, a carpenter in Berkeley?
You know, cause https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berkeley_balcony_collapse
No, I got it, and loved it.
Oh just pick whoever you want without doing any research. You know, how most Americans vote.
We also would have accepted “Vulvarines”.
C’mon, it won’t be worse than my nonsense bracket.
WVU ADVANCES IN THE CBI WOOOO
15-20 now!
Shitty Wolves battling to be #69, Fuckers du Cousins shooting for #101. This is the true Spirit of Smarch.
Nice.
Tommy Amaker coming to town.
I’ve been wanting to talk to that guy anyway.
Harvard advances to Rawlly.
Big celebration in the Ryan Fitzpatrick household tonight. He went to Harvard, you know.
But, did he play basketball?
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.
I thought he was from Detroit and played basketball.
Oh! I’ll do a separate post about it (probably) but for those in the LA area the Atwater March Pub Crawl will be happening on Saturday, starting at 2 p.m. at The Morrisson.
March? So why am I waiting to come in June?
(also…phrasing)
Christian Okoye never makes it to the end of the crawl.
Rikki’s Pikks are in! I’ve got all the #2 seeds plus Rat-boy’s crew in the Final Four.
While he’s not a big fan of being called Muscle Hamster, Doug Martin really prefers it over that last one.
FUCK! When I had Doug Martin living in that mansion in The Last Journeyman why the hell didn’t I call it Hamsterdam?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdd2JVm0EIo
I know I shouldn’t think that is funny.
But I do.
No you’re right. That is very funny.
Let the Bison roam!!!
Fargo is a pretty cool town tbh.
West By God Virginia made the CBI?? Didn’t they lose like 20 games?
Also, if we wolven sort have to talk about our NIT shame, so do must WCS re that fucking abortion of a tourney
Good day for HBCUs – Norfolk State is also even with Roll Damn Tide.
holy cats, Central is back even! On goes teh sound
So the battle of white Durham and black Durham might be a thing?
also known as “drug deal gone awry”
my bracket goal is always having JUST GODDAMNED ONE entry somewhere, that ain’t completely ded after the weekend
/or even after Friday, for that matter
think I now have 5 entires (only 3 FOAR moneys), including one with three 6 seeds making it (Nova, Iowa State, Buffalo). It’s the Bracket of teh BEAST!!!1111
Starting to look like G’town is coming to town on Sunday, btw.
they’ll kick our ass
Harvard now up by 3 again. And we already know dey smrtr than us.
I enjoy the guy in the pool named Just Lurking.
despite the moniker, he also post from time to time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyHMRwrS1pc
I baked potato wedges and am eating them with mustard. I’m good.
Forks up Blax. Bobby Hurley Boogaloo comin your way.
Hurley, Hurley!, HURLEY!!!!
I call SHENANIGANS!!!! Adam Levine doesn’t have nipples.
What, no HAWT FIRST ROUND CBI AXXION, featuring 14-20 WVU hosting the Grand Canyon Antelopes?!
Coincidentally, how many kids in Utah have the first name, “Axxion”?
Way too many thanks to the Axxion of Choice’rs
In Utah soaking is considered hot Axxion.
Mom said to quit doing that so my nose bleeds would stop.
“No one does picks like me.”
-N. Peterman
I joined the tourney at 3am this morning and made my selections with a crippling migraine. Would it matter if I was 100% picking the teams? Absolutely not because I make my picks based on teams with Canadians on them, or teams that traditionally been good to Canadians. So, with that said, get ready for Dook vs Iowa State, baby!
I may have that in one!
So, I’m at the “DFO Bracket Insanity” page at ESPN, but how do I join?
There is no JOIN button.
Do I have to have an ESPN account?
Click the big red button that says Create a Bracket. It’s really easy to miss.
Ha ha I thought that was an ad for how to create a new group! Ha ha I hate basketball.
Pretty sure you also need an ESPN account.
You have to create a bracket first, then the join button emerges from the mist.
I’ve already lost interest in it.
But just think of all the people you’ll piss off by beating them without any actual basketedball knowledge or passion! That’s why I do it.
Thats why I do it.