Your Tuesday Evening NHL Eastern Conference Preview & Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

Well, let’s get this out of the way:

Congrats Seamus. And as a reminder, I’m very disappointed in the rest of you.


For the next couple of nights, I’m going to eschew the usual NFL News I collect so we all can gather ’round and discuss the pertinent matter at hand – the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs.

Tonight, we will discuss the Eastern Conference.


Tampa Bay versus Columbus:

This is the East’s 1-8 matchup, and is a tale of two very different teams going in opposite directions. Tampa has been in first place since mid-December, and tied the 1995-6 Red Wings with 62 wins. (FYI – for you old school types, the 1978-79 Habs went 60-8-12 for the 80-game season record.) They were a goddamned buzzsaw.

Tampa has three solid lines, three solid defensive pairings, and goaltending that just doesn’t seem to break down. They have three players who scored 40+ goals this year, but more importantly had nine players with over 40 points – showing that they had three lines that could put the puck in the net. Nikita Kucherov led the league with 128 points, the most since 1995-96, and having saved Steven Stamkos from being wiled away to Toronto was the smartest thing the Bolts did last season, as their captain finished second in team scoring and piloted the league’s best power play.

Columbus, meanwhile, squeaked into the playoffs by virtue of having fewer Bettman points than Montreal. At the trade deadline, they were tasked with either trading away their pending free agents – Artemi Panarin & Seregi Bobrovsky – for future value or holding onto them & trying to make a run at the playoffs. Well, with two-gallon bottle of Rage-ahol John Tortorella at the helm

they decided to go with the hell-or-high-water plan and added players at the trade deadline. The net result was an improvement from ninth to eighth and a date with Tampa. Panarin finished with 87 points and should be a prized signing for the Rangers or Flyers this off-season. Bobrovsky finished with 37 wins and a GAA of 2.58 – impressive, but he still has those moments where his confidence disappears and he plays like a sieve.

Conclusion: Tampa is too much for Columbus. C-bus might get a mercy win, but if Tampa plays up to form they will never take their foot of the gas & look forward to getting some rest before the second round.

Prediction: Tampa in four.


Boston vs. Toronto

Full disclosure: I am a lifelong Bruins fan. Growing up in Vancouver in the 70s forced me to pick a second team to root for, so I would have a cheering interest once the playoffs began. And since I played defence for a brief time growing up, the Bruins had both Bobby Orr & Ray Bourque as icons I could worship. When they played the Canucks in the 2011 Final I couldn’t have been happier, because I finally had two dogs in the fight. (Rhetorical, not Michael Vick version.)

That being said, it hurts to have to root for a team with this fuckstick on it

Brad Marchand is the most divisive player in recent NHL history. He’s not like previous “pests” like Ken Linseman or Esa Tikkanen, who were aggravating as hell but earned respect for playing hard for their team. There are times when it seems Marchand is in business for himself, to the detriment of the team. But he’s also been their leading scorer, and this year became only the tenth Bruin to ever notch 100 points in a season, and the first since previous malcontent Joe Thornton did in 2002-03. They’ve tied their boat to his, so I guess as long as he’s on the same page as the rest of the team, the Bruins are okay, and I’ll just have to bury my head when he does the thing we all know he’s eventually going to do.

And the rest of the team is pretty damned good. Patrice Bergeron has managed to stay healthy & produce quality points. David Pastrnak has been a revelation, and fellow vowel-needer David Krejci has centred a solid #2 line all year. Zdeno Chara is still eating monster minutes heading the defence, and young’uns Torey Krug & David McAvoy have come along nicely. Tuukka Rask & Jaroslav Halak have provided a consistent 1-2 punch, sharing almost equal time in net & posting near-similar Goals Against Averages, keeping the Bruins near the top of the league all year. If they weren’t in the same division as Tampa you’d hear more about them.

As for the Leafs,

beyond my general anti-Leafs bias, they have built a pretty good team. Adding John Tavares has been a boon to the Leafs offense, adding depth in the form of a viable second scoring line. Mitch Marner has been the Leafs secret weapon, having been paired with Auston Matthews & Patrick Marleau, and his point totals – 94, leading the team – reflect that you just can’t afford to overlook a guy who used to be fourth-line until the bounty of talent the Leafs bought necessitated moving him up a couple of slots.

Goaltending is where the Leafs will ride or die. Both Freddie Andersen & Garret Sparks got the same case of the shits with two weeks to go in the season, almost costing the Leafs their third-pace spot in the division. Coach Babcock tried everything to refire one of them in time for the playoffs, but a season-ending tune-up against the Habs exposed the continuing weakness between the pipes.

Conclusion: Enough being nice: Fuck the Leafs. I won’t be happy until I see the life drain from Mitch Marner’s eyes in the last 10 seconds of Game 5, as the CBC focuses on his crying face from the bench. I was born the year after the Leafs won their last Cup, and God-willing I’ll go into the ground before they win another.

Prediction: Bruins in 5.


Washington vs. Carolina

On paper, this has no business being a good series. Carolina is a fun team that plays in front of a near-empty arena, and had to resort to dragging out the carcass of the Hartford Whalers to drum up attention.

They are owned by Tom Dundon, the guy who just torpedoed the AAF so he could claim ownership over their developmental gambling app. The only reason to root for them is first-year head coach Rod Brind’Amour, who played for the ‘Canes when they won their only Cup back in 2006 and somehow got them to go 31-12-2 over the second half of the season to squeak their way into the playoffs.

They are disproportionately led by the Finish twosome of Sebastian Aho & Teuvo Teravainen, and the one Staal kid they still have only played 50 games this year. In net they have notorious head case (non-Fleury division) Petr Mrazek, offset by likely Game 3 starter Curtis McElhinney, who is the real reason the Hurricanes were able to patch together their run with some spectacular efforts throughout March that kept their heads above water.

The Capitals are the defending Cup champions. Ovi is Ovi & led the team in scoring once again,

Holtby has had another solid year in net (albeit with a slightly higher than normal GAA), and John Carlson has anchored a patchwork defensive unit that managed to keep the Caps in most games until their scoring machine could find ways through other team’s defences. You can tell how balanced their lineup is when three of their top-five scorers are Centers.

Conclusion: The Capitals are way too much for the Hurricanes. Magic got the ‘Canes into the playoffs, but the Russian Machine that runs Washington will be too much for Carolina to handle at this point in their development. They’ll keep it close, but firepower favours the Caps.

Prediction: Capitals in six.


Pittsburgh at NY Islanders

This series looks fun.

You have perennial powerhouse Pittsburgh, led still by the 1-2 punch of Sid & Geno.

Phil Kessel continues to succeed outside Toronto, and Kris Letang has managed not to self-immolate yet this season. Matt Murray hasn’t really made anyone forget about Marc-Andre Fleury, but his backup – Casey DeSmith – didn’t really provide much consistency behind him. So the Penguins are pretty much ride or die with Murray between the pipes, and recent history shows Pittsburgh doesn’t go far when they have to rely on one goalie getting & staying hot. Really, the Pens are where they should be, and people who thought they’d be higher than third weren’t looking around.

Against them is a team that most people wrote off after their captain & best player abandoned them for big bucks in Toronto. With Barry Trotz as their head coach, you’ve got a team that has decided to focus on defence because that is the hand they were dealt. Leading scorer Mathew Barzal had only 62 points this season, which would have placed him fifth on the Penguins. But that’s how they lull you into complacency – their roster had the most consistent scoring in the NHL: not a lot of points scored, but each player had roughly the same number of points. Backed up by stingy goaltending – Robin Lehner had a GAA of 2.13; Thomas Griess a GAA of 2.28 – it allowed the Islanders to wear teams down and exploit them in the third period.

Conclusion: The Islanders are not a “trap” team, but are a team full of traps for the Penguins. If they can hold the Penguins off the score sheet until deep into the second period, their goaltending should be enough to send them into the second round. Pittsburgh is still good, but they need a small rebuild to climb back on top. This is the one series where it feels like the teams are kinda balanced in the sense that home ice will tip the scales in each direction every night.

Prediction: Islanders in seven.

Oh, and the NHL Draft Lottery is tonight. For you curious types, here are the odds (courtesy nhl.com) of getting the #1 overall pick, likely to be Jack Hughes:

  • Colorado Avalanche (from OTT): 18.5 percent
  • Los Angeles Kings: 13.5 percent
  • New Jersey Devils: 11.5 percent
  • Detroit Red Wings: 9.5 percent
  • Buffalo Sabres: 8.5 percent
  • New York Rangers: 7.5 percent
  • Edmonton Oilers: 6.5 percent
  • Anaheim Ducks: 6.0 percent
  • Vancouver Canucks: 5.0 percent
  • Philadelphia Flyers: 3.5 percent
  • Minnesota Wild: 3.0 percent
  • Chicago Blackhawks: 2.5 percent
  • Florida Panthers: 2.0 percent
  • Arizona Coyotes: 1.5 percent
    Montreal Canadiens: 1.0 percent

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Draft lottery – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Celtics at Wizards – 7:00PM | TNT
    • Raptors at T-wolves – 8:00PM | TSN4
    • Rockets at Thunder – 9:30PM | TNT
    • Trail Blazers at Lakers – 10:30PM | TSN5
  • MLB:
    • Yankees at Astros – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • NCAA:
    • College Baseball:
      • Creighton at Nebraska – 7:30PM | FS1
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown Live! – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Tomorrow night is the Western Conference. NO BLACKHAWKS; NO PROBLEM!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Your Saturday Evening All Sports Playoff Spectacular & Open Thread – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]

[…] if I didn’t point out that the Game 1s so far pretty much blew up my predictions from Tuesday & Wednesday. Luckily, Tampa was the only sweep I predicted, and if they hadn’t shit away a […]

nomonkeyfun

I’ve become obsessed with this video. One of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.

https://twitter.com/rhodri/status/1111254719777914881

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’m going to have to steal that.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I found this video to be well worth my time and since your time is less valuable than mine, you will too: https://youtu.be/zUyH3XhpLTo

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Woo hoo! Time to wander around the neighborhood and collect fruit that fell during the windstorm last night!

Hobo high life, baby. #hobohighlife

LemonJello
LemonJello

That hashtag piques the interests of both Jim Tomsula and Ryan Leaf.

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

Leafs and Boston? Totally rooting for giant meteor. And Marchand is a waste of carbon.
/not opinionated at all

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Wow. Nice banner quote. I guess depression does make me funnier.

King Hippo

hey man, any comic will tell you that the best humour comes from a super-dark place

/and you been KILLIN’ IT!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Better it than myself.

Col. Duke LaCross

Well, cooking French food with the Duchess a couple days ago couldn’t have gone better. Even the soufflé turned out, but the vibe seemed a little off between us. And today, she broke me off via text message. I think she figured out the same thing I figured out from the start, that I was way outkicking my coverage and she could definitely pull off better. This isn’t me being mopey, I sort of figured it’d end this way, I just didn’t think it’d happen a month in.

I’ll tell you, it’s been awhile since I’ve had that feeling where it feels like your soul got dropkicked out of your body. Oddly enough, you never feel more alive. I really had myself convinced that this time was different.

Wakezilla

That sucks, comrade. On the plus side, she ended it relatively fast which is admirable because some women try to force it out for a year or so and it ends poorly/wastes everyone’s time.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This is another very good point.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That sucks. But anyway least you had a nice time while it was going.

And also your coverage exceeds your expectations. Perhaps this wasn’t a game-winning kick, but you got points on the board and the next time you could very well hit a 60 yarder like Jason Elam in his prime (I think that’s the guy. It was a while ago).

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sorry it didn’t work out.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Three of you guys wanna come over?

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Senor Weaselo

We have a robot in BattleBots?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Suuuure

Wakezilla

Technically, you need 4 of us (one need to crank the wheel)

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It’s all automatic AFAIK. But I can do two things.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I’m completely re-syncing my iPad music library. It’s been going on for almost 4 hours now:

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The funny things is that disc was the size of the iPod HDD platter.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

That’s not music.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

https://overcast.fm/+CdsiS-kI

I love how absurdly and yet totally unsurprisingly racist as fuck the 1904 St. Louis Olympics were because if they were held there today it would only be more organized.

Wakezilla

“And as a reminder, I’m very disappointed in the rest of you.”

TBF, I only base my picks on Canadians. I mean, have you SEEN Canadians play basketball?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So today I gave my neighbor some of the weed I had grown in the garden. She asked if I wanted money! I laughed, but what I should have done is told her that in lieu of money maybe she could give me some other drugs instead.

ballsofsteelandfury

Obligatory:

Is she hot?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

She’s totally hot. Off the market, but yes, definitely hot.
 
EDIT: not her; just an approximationcomment image

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

First taste is free.

ballsofsteelandfury

Man, I can think of ten different responses, but I’m not married…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oooof.
I’m just going to concur with RTD on this one.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Is that an LA 6 or 7?

ballsofsteelandfury

You can’t see her tits or ass, so we really can’t make that call. Baseline 5 for the face with additional points available upon further review.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

You can just google her.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Even though anyone who wants to can find her imdb page easily enough, let’s not name names here.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

My mistake. Sorry.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s cool. I shouldn’t have posted a picture that led so easily back to her I.D.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

You should have said “No money, but someday, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Look how they have massacred my boy…”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Beware of aphids.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I could totally manage your account for you and totally won’t steal all the money for myself.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I must’ve grabbed one of your guys’s pills by mistake.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I ate the wrong mushrooms I think.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sweet potato, bread, cheese, and beer is a balanced meal, right?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

It’s the balancedest.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Some meat would be nice but it’s not bad.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This is also what I expect to hear the next time I’m on a date.

Dunstan
Dunstan

I had nachos for dinner. Which technically provides all the food groups, but still.

Senor Weaselo

Yanks trying to see just how many bases and outs they can give the Astros and get away with it. The answer is one fewer than they just did as the game is tied at 3.

SonOfSpam

This motherfucker on Jeopardy just broke the single game record, winning over $110k. I hate him with every fiber (or fibre for you hockey guys) of my being.

Also, hi.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t see why we have to choose between hating the playa and hating the game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow. That woman was looking at him the way Andy Reid looks at a steak.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

She’s as thirsty as Andy Reid imagining a gravy pipe.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I call this The Night of the Purcellville Robbery (a.k.a. None of Yo Goddam Bidness)

The background is crooked because I wanted it that way

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

“BRICK ROBS THE FEDERAL RESERVE”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Maybe if I did it this way before football games I’d be in better shape.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

/DOOR FLIES OPEN

Ballsofsteelandfury: Underwear problems, huh. Well, I gotcha covered!

ballsofsteelandfury

Damn Skippy!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

What do you use for road rash on your cooch?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I just read a black friend and her friends roasting the fuck out of an article on That site cor being a clickbait mess of nonsense. Ah. Good times, gents.

Wakezilla

What were they saying?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Basically a lot of pancake-ass jokes. It was an old post about a woman with “the perfect ass.”

King Hippo

wow, ESPN really cares about dopey-ass Magic Johnson quitting

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

She has the crazy in her, that is a certainty.

King Hippo

that’s teh Hippo Sweet Spot

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I could be the crazy in her…….

Well, with my girth it’s more like slightly neurotic, but still it would be VERY temporary.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Quitting what?

King Hippo

apparently he was in charge of the team who missed the 80-team playoffs with “King” James

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Wow. That’s actually kind of impressive.

King Hippo

inorite? I only have the HOU/NYY game on in background, yet I’ve read his “I just want to have fun again” quote like 20 times.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The last time Magic Johnson said that he wanted to have fun again he had to go on a retroviral cocktail.

King Hippo

nice!

SonOfSpam

Yeah, that’s the stuff.

Dunstan
Dunstan

Too soon!

ballsofsteelandfury

You’re on a roll!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Has anyone had two banner quotes within 12 hours?

Senor Weaselo

Magic Johnson: Porn name of porn-est name?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Better porn name than Dick Trickle.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Hold up, some new developments on the Russia thing. It turns out they’re just still mad about this:

Dunstan
Dunstan

I definitely roller skated to that song on many occasions.

Horatio Cornblower

Looking for for teh hockey on NBCSN and it wasn’t one, but this guy is bowling.
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That’s a haircut you could hide a beer or two in.

herodotus450
herodotus450

I wouldn’t even wear that outfit to my boweling.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Stupid sexy bowler.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve been there!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Aw nuts. I had an anal joke but now I lost it.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I don’t think bowlers need to hide beers unless they’re #upforwhatever. And those aren’t hidden in the hair.

Horatio Cornblower

/Turns on Yankees game

Oh, only down 2-1 to Houston. That’s doable.

//Sees Luis Cessa pitching

Hmm, I wonder if there’s any hard-core gay porn on I could watch instead.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Do you want recommendations? Just look up “winter steele xxx”. That should get you off to a good start.

King Hippo

think maybe I have seen 3-4 minutes of Ice Footy all season. Leafs the only Canadia reps again? Or is the West better? Sounds like my 3-4 will stay 3-4.

litre_cola

DO YOUR RESEARCH! The most cultured city in North America Winnipeg is in, as is Calgary and they are good which sucks when you live there.

King Hippo

ok then maybe I will cheer along Winny-peg and the Flamers. MAYBE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

With ankles like that, he’ll never be the chump on an And1 video.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Is this the start of the six month long NHL Playoffs season?

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I was going to watch a game. I actually even turned on the Magnavox for this!

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But then read closer and it’s just a lottery. Off with Magnavox!

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Back to reading books about clock repair for me.

herodotus450
herodotus450

A little clock repair saying my pappy used to say: if your clock rotates to the right it makes you wise, if it rotates to the left I’ll kick you right in the widdershins.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

My baby!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

My pappy would press a hot steam iron onto my face whenever I ever mentioned “clock repair.”

He never explained why.

litre_cola
Sharkbait

Whoops

litre_cola

Guess the graphics guys needed the results ahead of time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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A glimpse is what we need to investigate further.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sharkbait

I’ll take #2 overall

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

The Devils getting 1 won’t be fun, they’re better than they were this year, with Hall back.

herodotus450
herodotus450

If I never see the lottery results then that means Chicago can never win, right?

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

16-year-old me [stops reading anatomy book] there’s no way i need to know all this
[10 years later]
gf: play with my labia majora
26-year-old me: oh no

Wakezilla

Kind of reminds me of something I saw on Facebook:

Teenager: Why do I have to learn geography and Biology. It’ll never be useful.in the real world.

Same person as an adult: The earth is flat and vaccines cause Autism!

Brocky

Not Blackhawks in 5

Not Blackhawks in 4

Not blackhawks in 6

Not blackhawks in 4, with 1 overtime

Senor Weaselo

…Eight championships?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
herodotus450

He may not be the best skating prospect in the draft, but this Peyton Krebs he really knows how to play with energy metabolized from glucose.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Speaking of Russians, I have it on good authority that this whole trump-russian-Mueller thing is all just a brilliant PR campaign to rejuvenate the James Bond franchise by re-legitimizing the Russians as villains.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Leafs in 7 because of the timeline.
Islanders in 6 defense strangles Gino and Sid
Tampa in 5. Bye bye Russians
Caps win in 6 which sets up Barry Trotz against his old team.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Tampa in 5. Bye bye Russians

“Yes, yes, no Russians here, just me, all-American guy Nicky Kuchersmith.”

litre_cola

You know what I meant!

herodotus450
herodotus450

“I know exactly what you meant (touches finger to nose).”
-Mickey Sergachevjohnson

herodotus450
herodotus450

(Somewhere on a New York golf course):
“I have to go now.”
(Jumps onto helicopter rope that appears from nowhere.)
-Vladdy Namestnikov

Wakezilla

Why Nikita is as American as Apple pie.

KUCHEROV: Dah!

Sharkbait

Come on Hockey Gods. Ice Giants #1 overall.

Wakezilla

East Conference Predictions:

Tampa in 7-> Bobrovksky is hot and will steal some games and Columbus will have one game where they just outplay the Lightning.

Leafs in 7-> Sadly, I think Tavares and Muzzin are going to be the catalysts to propel the Leafs over Boston this year.

Caps* in 7-> Aho and Teraveinen are the NHL’s answer to Lowry/DeRozan: Two Superstars who get absolutely no respect. I put the asterisk besides the Caps because if the refs put away the whistle and it’s mostly 5 on 5, Carolina will mop the floor with the Caps. However, since Carolina being in the second round is poison to the NHL, that shouldn’t happen.

Pens in 6-> The Islanders are hockey’s answer to the Sweden/Iceland lesser footy teams. They play boring as shit hockey. So fuck them. Crosby traditionally owns the Islanders and I hope he and the Pens absolutely wreck them because no team with Lehner and Greiss in net and their leading point getter having just 62 points should be playing in the second round. That’s bad for hockey.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Gonna be a lot of confused French people looking at their search results for “Penis les” in the coming days.

herodotus450
herodotus450

My forecast for the NHL Draft Lottery is a 95% chance of booing Gary Bettman and 100% chance of calling the whole thing a rigged conspiracy. Can’t wait!

nomonkeyfun

Bettman will rig the lotto. He will try to get Montreal to have the first pick, but wind up with Buffalo getting the pick.

Senor Weaselo

I am absolutely rooting for the Mausoleum to implode with both teams inside it. Hell, until the renovations (that still wouldn’t make it able to be full NHL-worthy, derp) that was more probable than not. Now it’s just downgraded to plausible.
/The Belmont plan’s gonna be ass, isn’t it?

Sharkbait

Subscribe.

Also I’m fully prepared for the Rangers to somehow pick 12th tonight.

Senor Weaselo

Somehow they will get the worst lottery pick.

nomonkeyfun

Potvin sucks!

ballsofsteelandfury

This was a terrible season for the Kings and Ducks. Given I’ve no rooting interest in this year’s playoffs, it’ll be fun to just watch playoff hockey which is, of course, the absolute best.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This post was informative in that I’ve now learned that the NHL regular season is over and that I finished 7th in our bracket pool.

scotchnaut

For our Southern buddies-just stumbled across this guy 30 minutes ago. Cool fella with a great sense of humor and an engaging personality.

Dunstan
Dunstan

Tim Minchin is great. I first encountered him from “Pope Song,” another tune about the Catholic Church covering for molesters, but he has lots of songs on less weighty subjects.

“White Wine in the Sun” is one of my favorite Christmas songs.
“Storm” is a fun beat-poem piece.