This week’s edition is especially designed for my good friend BallsofSteelandFury .
Even though he didn’t ask for this by specific request, he’s getting it anyway.
He’s earned it.
Sort of….
But this week is all about ‘dat ass.
–
Sports Which Will Make You Feel Like An Ass 2Nite
(that might mean two things)
NHL
- San Jose @ St. Louis (game 4, SJ up 2-1) – 8:00pmEDT – TV: NBCSN
NBA
- Toronto @ Milwaukee (game 2, Tor up 1-0) – 8:30pmEDT – TV: TNT
MLB
Nada as far as national broadcasts. Check your locals.
–
…And I Cannot Lie
Enjoy….
Merry Christmas, indeed.
Ooooof.
Have a nice weekend everyone.
Love ya’s.
And don’t forget….
Two asses are better than one.
–
/willing to wreck that chick
You’ve seen her nipslip, I assume?
h
ttps://i.redd.it/tx9jbgn5e1i21.jpg
h
ttp://imgstick.pw/image/NUghg
h
ttps://imgur.com/a/GVzs3iS
I just want her to cook dinner and leave me the fuck alone.
I respect that.
Naked.
*If bacon can wear apron.
Disturbing.
Yeah, I also whacked to it.
And half off maple donuts! It’s a shame Timmy’s went to Hell after the Burger King takeover.
https://twitter.com/ComedyCentral/status/1129438702248316930
She seems nice.
Also, that reminds me. I need to shave my balls.
I’m not sure who this is, but she seems nice.
https://streamable.com/a6rp3
Isn’t that Trish Stratus?
I don’t follow cricket, sir.
Whoever does the Saturday morning lesser footie might want to use this tomorrow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwzL23asWGs
Those pics sharpened my gulping skills.
Cheese?
Welp, I just pulled a Brick Meathook. Anybody got any talcum powder?
Do the dog butt crawl on some wet grass.
Works for me.
The rest of the people in the park don’t seem to enjoy it, though.
I once tried to pull a Brick Meathook….but he wouldn’t let me.
No means yes in this case.
What, did you get you balls waxed?
Yup. With Lacey, too. Does that make us Eskimo Skin Brothers?
Hahaha you are sooooo L.A. now! Go get a vegan burger.
Quick and dirty, like …
I get bored at work and a co-worker and I come up with deranged parody songs. Tonight, Billy Ocean’s “Caribbean Queen” got the treatment.
Aryan Queen
Now she’s sharing alt-right memes
Non-white crime stats just for fun
And the stuff the Jews run
This topic I can get behind. Huzzah twbs.
LOL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2dSE6_utcE&ab_channel=ComedyCentral
Are you in VA yet? If not you better hustle. I’ll be leaving first thing in the morning if my dryer doesn’t die.
It’s actually in Maryland, and no. We’re about to leave. Steph had to work.
Holy shit, it is in Maryland. I thought it was on the other side of the river.
Anywhooo….I’ll check in with you in the morning.
Gaylord….lol.
So, about four minutes until SJ pulls their goaltender and makes this worse?
Even sooner apparently.
Gotta give ’em credit for not giving up the empty net.
classic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znUS2KqPYCw
so can the raptors make a run?
Sup bitches
Erections.
The Baltimore Orioles were victorious tonight. 5-1 on the road in Cleveland and are now a whopping 15-29.
Fuck….it was in Cleveland.
GODDAMMIT MOTHERFUCKER SHITSTAIN ASSHOLES.
Can we get an infinite orioles post?
There will a BoTG next week. If I have to sit and watch the Yankees beat the shit out of ’em, and I have to pay for it (already have, actually)….you’re all gonna hear about it.
Is there still a Boog’s BBQ and will you eat some BBQ and write about BBQ?
I’m hungry.
As far as I know there is. But no I will not.
Having dinner with a friend at the Inner Harbor pre-game.
Ah, so crabs then.
Get some medicine for those, and enjoy your dinner!
This ointment stings.
Honestly, through 44 games I didn’t think they’d win 10.
Edelman is a Jeopardy answer tonight. I hate this timeline.
a commentist would have blurted out JEWKAH!
“Our judges have good news for Hippo – they have determined “Jewkah” is an acceptable alternative for Welker, and $1200 has been added to his score. But please stop ringing in to ask whether anyone has leftover Darvocets.”
Jägermeister is the official shot of the NHL.
Let that sink in for a bit…
They’re trying to get that coveted 18-29 Douchenozzle market.
Evening gents. The Anchor variety pack has some quality brews in it. And now they’re in me. Mostly orally.
See I told you having that colostomy wasn’t going to be all bad.
Yeah, the doc said it was his first voluntary one, but I feel kinda like a trendsetter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESvYRR1Fyug
Goddamn, I haven’t seen raptors get destroyed this badly since the Chicxulub meteor.
Well, at least it took 65 Million years.
Laundry successfully has begun.
I suck less now.
Now in the dryer with suitcase sitting next to it.
I’m getting better.
Oh NO! Tiger missed the cut!
/fuck Tiger
Is Tiger back?
— Word around The Bunny Ranch
“Eh, we’ll cut it again pretty soon anyway, he’ll be here for that.”
-Unscrupulous drug dealer
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Fuck that asshole.
– James Deen’s director, pointing randomly
Awwww, I don’t know what to say! THANK YOU!!
Just go jerk off and get it over with…?
– Kellen Winslow’s personal shopper
I want to photoshop Trump’s disgusting chin-butt onto the cover of that magazine.
This?
Yep.
Cool. I’ll give it a try.
Gotta run.
Speaking of ass, the Orioles everyone!
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
I am very much rooting for them to hit the negative team WAR goal
Grumble grumble….
Cheer up! You paid good money to watch history being made!
You are not wrong. I will never forgive former tWLS for convincing me to buy these tickets.
Could be worse….could be Miami.
we need a barnstorming team made of MIA’s hitters and BAL’s pitchers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOjm4SEDMu8
Blues get the PP netter. Maybe the Sharks are in more trouble than I thought.
We can always hope.
I’m supposed to be leaving at dawn tomorrow and driving north. I have not yet done laundry. Or packed, obviously.
I suck.
I have a gif for that.
Part 2
If she were around here, I might never leave again.
She’s crazier than tWLS.
So you wouldn’t leave, all right. Just like James Caan wouldn’t leave Cathy Bates’s house in Misery.
Spoken like someone who has never met the former tWLS.
Protect your buns
#BFIB losing 4-nil to the fucking asslicking Rangers – with our best SP on the hill
The winning team in a playoff series should get to steal one player from the team they just beat. Sharks with Binnington might have a chance against Bostone.
Sharks gon’ take the cup anyway.
I might even allow them to take a long-time-gone-Blue Chris Pronger, who’s probably still under contract for Arizona, on the condition that he kamikazes Marchand.
At which point, Player Safety would say, “well, you know, he hasn’t been suspended in years, so his record is pretty clean. $1000 fine.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89kViYVfCrM
I’ve gotten used to videos of models accompanied by pop songs because my brother is an artiste, dammit!
I told him he and Brick would probably get along nerding out about cameras and mechanical toys. So he may come along to the pub crawl even though he doesn’t drink. Or something. IDK. I’ll be in L.A. for a week.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScC_pi3PJ9k
Por ejemplo:
It’s a shame this is the only SFW part of the video I made these from. Her name is Daisy Stone if you’re so inclined to hit up a streaming site later.
Thomas Jefferson? Teh Original Ass Man!
Oh, right. Because Socrates only practiced frottage.
hey now, Unspeakable Vice is next week’s theme ,, smh
?
Special Delivery for Balls
¡Muchas gracias!
The Senor Weaselo Special
If a girl…has a pierced tongue…
If a guy…has a pierced tongue…
I wanna be a cowboy
That’s FOAR ME! Hippo likes being able to count up the ribs, yo.
So does Andy Reid
LOL. That was good.
Stood next to her at a concert one time. She wasn’t particularly friendly. She was definitely gorgeous, though.
hey if any of US looked like that, we wouldn’t be friendly neither