Jesus Tapdancing Christ, did I feel old today. My back flared up, and I lost half the feeling below the waist. THE GOOD FEELING! Going to work absolutely sucked giant ass. However, coming home to some Tramadol made things all better.
Also, it made the dogs look like Martians.
NFL Nuggets:
- According to the Las Vegas Review-Journal, the new Raiders stadium has officially hit the halfway point in completion.
- It’s scheduled to be completed by August 2020.
- If it’s not ready, the Raiders have an option to stay in Oakland for the 2020 season, although they will do like they’re doing this year and play as many “home games” away from Oakland as possible.
- As predicted on Tuesday, Ndamukong Suh has signed a cheaper contract with Tampa than what Gerald McCoy would have been paid.
- Suh signed a one-year, $9.25 million contract to play in Tampa.
- Down from the $14 million he took to try & win a Super Bowl with the Rams.
- Gerald McCoy was owed $13 million before he was cut.
- Suh signed a one-year, $9.25 million contract to play in Tampa.
- On the Gerald McCoy front, he met with the Browns on Thursday.
- If they add him, and he gets the $13 million Tampa choked on, the Browns have $33 million in cap space thanks to all their rookie deals.
- Alex Smith is alive & working with the Washington QBs as they look to start the season with him in street clothes.
- The article touts his mentorship, as “[w]hile with the San Francisco 49ers, Smith worked with Colin Kaepernick. In Kansas City, reigning league MVP Patrick Mahomes absorbed knowledge from Smith in 2017 before taking over as the Chiefs starting quarterback in 2018.”
- Sure, but only one of those guys is still in the league, smh.
- He did appear strong enough to
throw a passlob a ball forward, and nothing appeared to break off, so that’s a good sign.
- The article touts his mentorship, as “[w]hile with the San Francisco 49ers, Smith worked with Colin Kaepernick. In Kansas City, reigning league MVP Patrick Mahomes absorbed knowledge from Smith in 2017 before taking over as the Chiefs starting quarterback in 2018.”
Alex Smith at day 3️⃣ of OTAs supporting his teammates. pic.twitter.com/vompSPRgxY
— Washington Commanders (@Commanders) May 23, 2019
Tonight’s sports:
- NBA:
- Raptors at Bucks – 8:30PM | TNT / TSN
- MLB:
- USA – MLBN only
- Canada – White Sox at Astros – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
- MMA:
- Professional Fighters League:
- From Uniondale, N.Y. – 7:00PM | ESPN2
- Professional Fighters League:
- AHL:
- 2019 Calder Cup Playoffs: Eastern Conference Final
- Charlotte vs. Toronto – Game 4 – 7:00PM | TSN2
- 2019 Calder Cup Playoffs: Eastern Conference Final
Fucking Toronto has to have its AAA hockey team on TV. The Vancouver Giants go all the way to the WHL finals, but no TV. It’s like the Yankees aren’t in the playoffs, but ESPN decides to show the Staten Island Yankees in the NY-Penn league championship just to retain market share. This is why I mull cancelling TV channels.
.test
I love logic jokes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuU_A5gy9T4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAeV-AWBCKI
Fuuuuuuck I’m tired.
That’s usually a sign to go to bed.
Glad to help.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oz1lIWII3bM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_G6Z3vQfxw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eA4FxBQ020k
Just out on Perfect Bid on Netflix. It looks like it’s going to rule.
So today in “We’re playing THIS for a wedding?” This is (one of the many, MANY songs we played) during the bridal party processional.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnQ8N1KacJc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C906lbkcYug
Other songs we played that made no sense!
(In the past we played Africa that one time.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWJvuG6fUQw
Fuck Newark Airport
Martin Yan ruled.
Is that the Yan can cook guy? CHOP/CHOP/CHOP/CHOP/CHOP…DONE!!
I hope he has a large family and they are known as the Yan Clan.
Well, unemployment is low.
Wait, where was this week’s Wednesdayer?
DO SOMETHING CONGRESS!
No. Work had me all busy cuz I’m no-daying it tomorrow to go look at houses in Vegas.
I’m honored you asked tho. I wasn’t sure if it’s worth keeping going.
Would anyone notice if a cat suffered from CTE?
It’s definitely worth to keep going. I read it in Brockmire’s voice now as it’s perfectly blending both worlds in tone.
What is the biggest clue this is in Russia?
A) Traffic signs
B) License plates
C) Lack of order
D) No pick-up trucks
E) General dismalness
F) Bizarre animal behavior
No, those are all good, but the answer is
G) Guy in track suit
Track suit and general dismalness could easily be Jersey.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMMTloO1H-U
I always wondered why Winnipeg did a white out since everyone in the stands for a Jets playoff game is pale as can be
https://media.giphy.com/media/l0EwZc9Yo56uIem8E/giphy
70 years ago the “Greek Freak” would be a midget from Baltimore in Barnum and Bailey.
Would Alyssa Milano work with Arnold again? I sure would love to see a Commando sequel/reprise.
I want a True Lies sequel, but I’d take that too.
There was a lot I liked about True Lies, but I don’t need to see someone drop an Uzi down a staircase again, that’s for sure.
My favorite Arnold movie. I need to watch it with Senorita Weaselo.
Just one-liner after another.
“What happened to Sully?”
“I let him go.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mYSE2xWjcI
I can’t see “VANVLEET” on the back of a jersey without thinking it was a misspelling by the printer.
Every time you convince yourself that you “sold her on it” as opposed to “wore her down to the point of giving in”…a Corona gets its lime.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fjh3TxOHCxE&t=5s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of8JOVXYU0Q
I thought that was Guy Fieri from the screen cap
Good thing I sneaked booze in.
Oldest Son: “I’ve got something to tell you.”
Me: [whatever, he’s gay. I figured it out awhile ago and I’m good]
Son: “I prefer my steaks well-done.”
Me: “It was nice knowing you.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amKyA2PrSu4
The older I get, the more I appreciate Hank Hill.
KOTH was a show I Never really set out to watch but anytime I watched an episode, I truly enjoyed it. On lazy days I’m working on it via Netflix.
I would argue that King of the Hill is the most underrated show in television history, but that is probably because I am drunk. However, if I were sober I might be able to make a credible argument for its case.
I accidentally cooked our ribeye to “medium” tonight. It was fine, but there is a reason that Dr. Mrs. Deadly, Esquire has not said a word to me for the last half hour, and I do not blame her one bit.
This is a damn tragedy. Enjoy sleeping on the couch you hack.
The couch? You are generous, sir.
You’ll wake up with a headache to the smell of burnt butter and your asshole will hurt. At least you’ll have no member of the night before.
“Son I can deal with you liking dick raw but this well-done shit is abomination in the eyes of God. Pack up your shit and get out. Maybe you can find a nice boy who will turn you on to proper steaks.”
You gotta wonder where you went wrong when your kid likes a well done steak.
Sorry, friend
You’ve raised a president!
He’s gotta be saying that just to enrage you.
On the bright side, the word “ketchup” wasn’t mentioned. Right?
Seriously getting odd. Second straight Avett concert I ended up hanging out with Asian chick.
That’s cuz you misread the marquee. You were at the A Viet Brothers concert.
Same one?
Racist?
Accidentally or on purpose? (I’m assuming the one you’ve been talking about.)
Did she drive to the concert?
No, rickshaw
You doubled down on my racism AND talked about some good concert transportation.
Holy fuck, the cumstain-in-chief referred to himself as an “extremely stable genius” today.
I just don’t watch the news anymore. If I really need to know, it will be on TPM. That’s all I can stand.
He has a number of achomlishments during his tenure after all…
When even dick cheese isn’t the lowest-energy turd in the house
Since I am having a ribeye steak for dinner, I am going to take a shower and dress properly for the occasion.
Black thong or white?
White thong, black butt plug.
How do you noe wen need 2 run it through the dishwasher then?
I don’t know about butt plugs, but I used to accidentally put my Fitbit through the washer and dryer and not only would it survive but it would log me as having walked twenty miles and climbed a hundred staircases.
By taste.
Take that, electric cars/other modes of transportation!
Arnold is great at the Internet. This turned into an ad hoc AMA and he’s incredibly charming even through text.
https://old.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/bs2n3o/were_back_heres_your_terminator_dark_fate_trailer/
The way he dumped on MRA-boy was pretty special. Imagine being a meathead and having your idol shit all over you in front of the whole internet world. It’s delightful.
Tramadol, eh? Just had my 4th V-profen, is too hot and every joint in mah old-ass body hurts.
Sounds like you took some Xentrex.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IZrYeUX3MI
V-profen sounds like German slang for getting laid.
I don’t want to count how many V-profen it’s been since I got laid. High 4 figures, at least.
“TAKEN” is on AMC! I repeat, “TAKEN” is on AMC!”
Look Scotchnaut, I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you’re looking for scotch, I can tell you I don’t have any… but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my alcohol go now, that will be the end of it – I will not look for you, I will not pursue you… but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you… and I will taunt you.
Rikki and respondents (Rikki and the Respondents are gonna open for Elvis Costello) make some good points about the Chinese and trade, but Florida State’s softball team has a player named Deja Bush, so let’s see what all you eggheads do with that.
That’s a great stripper name.
“I feel like I’ve seen her vag before…”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zv4ZiINQxA0
Losing the Republican nomination was hard on Jeb.
Heh, “hard on”
Okay, I want to talk about the economy. The Chinese have Trump’s (or whoever else is actually making those decisions’) balls in a vice because:
1. Rich Republicans (investor class) would like low trade barriers. It means that they can take advantage of cheap labor overseas to make products that get sold to Americans, so they and their investors (and the Chinese) get all the moneys.
2. Poor Republicans (working class) would like high trade barriers, because it forces manufacturing (et al.) to take place in the United States, where THEY are the ones who get all the moneys (at least, more than they would if there were low trade barriers).
China has basically forced the White House to decide between Group 1 or Group 2. Obviously, they are going to prefer Group 1, because of course they are. But they cannot win elections without Group 2, who are the ones who put Trump over the top. So the White House has to try to thread the needle, which the Chinese are refusing to let them do.
How’d I do?
Ya did terrible. Poor Republicans will vote Republican no matter what. They elected trump and he’s from Neew York Sity
An alternate conspiracy: trump and china are in on it together, for… some reason. Maybe to draw moderates to his side because of patriotism, and his really, really rich friends can whether any trade spat by simply passing along the tariffs to customers, who have no choice in the market because of deregulation that was enacted between 11 and 19 years ago.
I mean I don’t think China would bat an eyelash at throwing Trump a big fat bribe, but that doesn’t solve the problem of alienating the poor saps in Ohio, Michigan, and Wisconsin that actually thought he’d do something to help those states.
Just stir up an abortion/guns/gays media firestorm, and those people are right back in the red. Enough will vote solely on those emotional issues and somehow twist losing their jobs into the fault of unions and/or big government.
Don’t forget about Transwomen using women’s restrooms and raping their daughters.
Nah. I went to a trade regulation and antitrust CLE in November where the speaker was the guy on Trump’s transition team who interviewed Wilbur Ross for the Commerce Secretary position. These guys 100% believe that there is a trade war going on and either the U.S. or China will win it and the next century within the next decade. And they are terrified of being #2 because there’s no going back once we start slipping. So they see China as the genuine existential threat to the U.S.
That’s not to say that there aren’t people opposed to this, but so far it seems like Ross and the ITR and Trump himself are committed to this brain-dead vision.
One of those “we had to completely destroy the economy to save the economy” type things?
Exactly. They’re betting that China will blink first and will have more trouble handling the debt and economic downturn that it will cause than the U.S. because the U.S. dollar is still the global reserve currency and we have more creditors willing to take on our debt than China does.
It’s a decent plan, but Trump can’t communicate it for shit and that’s only part of a bigger problem that no President since Carter has asked Americans to sacrifice anything for even a second for a greater purpose. And Carter got destroyed for it.
Yeah, we’re not great at accepting bad news.
Also his other trade policies seem to spite that plan, tearing up the TPP, tariffs between Europe and North American partners, etc.
I’m sympathetic to the idea of trying to isolate China economically until they play nice, but shitting all over our existing trade agreements is NOT the way to make that happen.
This guy mentioned TPP. Basically it was a combination of the White House not knowing that it was designed to box in and contain China and partly because to them, Obama = bad.
I wonder if the real take-away from the TPP is that politicians will never again do trade deals in election years. Or otherwise they really have to work on their messaging
Agreed. The idea that poor Republicans think in terms of trade barriers? I larfed.
They don’t; they think in terms of jobs. One of the reasons a lot of the blue-collar folks in the Rust Belt rolled the dice on Trump was because they bought his promises that he’d restore prosperity to those areas.
What Trump supporters bought into was the concept “Suspension of Disbelief”.
They bought into “he’s gonna put the broads, browns, and homos in their place”
He hates what I hate!
This. Poor people already have lost their jobs overseas and are still voting Republican.
You’re also not taking into account that the Chinese are far more dysfunctional than you’re giving them credit for.
A lot of the things I’ve read from economic cheerleaders insist that the U.S. holds all the cards in a trade war. But it seems like China’s got a bigger one in that their population can (read: will be forced to) stomach an economic downturn much more successfully than the American population will.
When I visited Beijing, I got the distinct impression that China would nuke one of its own cities to make a point.
Also, if one faction of Chinese gets too successful (particularly in the west), other Chinese factions will attack them and take them down. This is a well known phenomenon, and you can ask the Chinese and they’ll tell you this.
Yup. This is true. There are many subgroups/ subcultures within that country.
Asians hate each other. I really want to see a Japan vs Korea baseball game at Dodger Stadium where the crowd is full of Japanese on one side and Koreans on the other and they’ve all got flags and the tension and hatred is in the air and thick but they’re all disciplined and on their best behavior so they don’t lose face and disgrace their ancestors but most importantly they don’t want to make a spectacle of themselves in front of the white man.
I’m guessing this is one of the biggest secrets that people that don’t have Asian friends don’t know.
They’re more racist than anyone.
I learned that from Michael Crichton!
Ha, same here.
Also this. China doesn’t have its shit together as it appears.
Don’t worry. The Democrats will find a way to alienate Group 2 so they vote for Trump anyway.
I mean you can always appeal to their racist side.
The way I see it, the Chinese usually try to fool their opponents by putting pee-pee in their Coke. However, that won’t have a negative effect on Trump. It’s a new world.
I’ve successfully cut the cord and only have steaming services. Cut my bill in half and my annoyance level by 2/3rds.
I cut the cord and only have Netflix (free through my sister), Amazon Prime, and a digital antenna which picks up all these crazy Asian stations in L.A..
But it doesn’t matter because I haven’t turned on my TV in a month of more.
My computer monitor probably has better resolution than my TV, actually.
Blue Jays’ Vlad Government Junior is a big fatty cake.