NFL Nuggets:
-
Relive the majesty. Likely solely brought in for the inevitable headlines when he was cut, the Bears have indeed cut Chris Blewitt from their kicker competition at camp, after only one day.
- During a photo-op, all three kickers they brought in to camp for trials – Blewitt, Eddy Pineiro, & Elliott Fry – missed consecutive kicks from 42-yards.
- Only five more and they’ll equal Cody Parkey’s total number of misses from last season.
- Meanwhile, Robbie Gould continues to sit out Niners camp due to his franchise tag.
- During a photo-op, all three kickers they brought in to camp for trials – Blewitt, Eddy Pineiro, & Elliott Fry – missed consecutive kicks from 42-yards.
- Seahawks news, because my feed is full:
- Shaquem Griffin is going to be upgraded this season.
- He will move off special teams and into the pass rush rotation as an edge rusher.
- Pete Carroll expects convicted insider trader Mychal Kendricks to be on the roster sometime this season.
- It doesn’t hurt that his sentencing hearing has been delayed multiple times, giving Carroll hope he might be eligible to play a good part of the season.
- Also, ol’ Rog can’t do anything until the courts make up their minds. So Carroll is playing with house money.
- Based on the size of the illegal trades, Kendricks – even with a plea – is looking at between 30-37 months in prison.
- Also house money – Kendricks’ deal. According to ESPN:
- It doesn’t hurt that his sentencing hearing has been delayed multiple times, giving Carroll hope he might be eligible to play a good part of the season.
- Shaquem Griffin is going to be upgraded this season.
He received no signing bonus and no guaranteed money. The $4.5 million base value of his deal includes $2 million in per-game active roster bonuses plus two bonuses worth $250,000 apiece that are tied to Kendricks reporting to training camp and being on the 53-man roster in Week 1. He could make an additional $1 million in incentives tied to playing time and sacks, bringing the max value of the deal to $5.5 million.
Finally, the Titans announced late today that they will be retiring the jersey numbers of Eddie George & Steve McNair.
The two of them combined for an 80-48 record in their time at Tennessee.
As the first (mostly) Titans to be given this honour, they will be joining the ranks of retired Oilers jerseys Jim Norton (No. 43), Elvin Bethea (No. 65), Earl Campbell (No. 34), Mike Munchak (No. 63), Bruce Matthews (No. 74), and Warren Moon (No. 1).
If you want to feel old, it’ll be 10 years (July 4, 2009) since Steve McNair was killed.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL: GAME 7, BAY-BAY!
- Blues at Bruins – 8:00PM | NBC / CBC / Sportsnet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSTyAiCaoG8
- MLB:
- Jays at Orioles – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
- Brewers at Astros – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
Hottest day of the year so far, but I still have to wear my Bruins jersey to school.
OH YEAH!
Government-run broadcaster CBC features Huawei as their intermission sponsor while their CFO languishes under house arrest in British Columbia-having been arrested by the RCMP.
Awkward….
Isn’t that house worth like 6 million loonies?
The first one was. She applied for a bail hearing and was allowed to move to her ten million loonie house.
Well that seems fair. We’re not savages here.
You’re welcome.
Watching Jeopardy instead right now.
The middle guy probably has 40-50 pounds on me.
That’s unhealthy.
Denis Leary rooting for the Bruins? I didn’t realize Bill Hicks was a Boston fan.
My friends at the Rand corporation maybe told me that the anti-vax delusion is a manufactured conspiracy to make sure there are always enough sick kids to be fans of sprots teams to generate a positive narrative.
Damned reverse vampires.
And now they’ve got Jessica Biel working for them.
You’d think someone who starred in a ‘Blade’ movie would know the value of a good vaccine.
“This room holds the world’s largest collection of evil…”
/We cut to RTD’s kitchen, where he’s hauling out a trash bag overflowing with cat shit and steak tripe
We also would have accepted “The bar where Sharkbait is.”
I think DFO Pub Crawl had that beat. Especially with Shitshow Bingo
Jesus fucking Christ they used The Sound of Silence to sell a Volkswagen????
Kind’ve a national pasttime for the Germans, being silent, isn’t it?
At first I thought it was for some Silicon Valley shit. It was extraordinary filmmaking, but it was prostitution at the highest level. Like getting paid top dollar to give Donald Trump the best blow job ever (but of course with Trump you’d never get paid; the Germans pay their bills promptly, even the Nazis)
ah mean, gotta have some semblence of order, amirite??
I’m guessing they couldn’t buy the rights to Classical Gas.
This is horrific and outstanding.
They were going to use “arbeit macht frei” but then the spoilsports in Legal got involved.
Here’s a noodle scratcher for ya: would you take Boston winning another cup if it meant Marchand would get shot in his home country after retirement?
I think I’d rather be shot than have Boston win another Cup.
Is it okay to make a reference to Binnington’s game-winning shutout yet?
Guess we’re about to find out.
I’m the chief of medicine now
A kid my son gave up a long HR to in high school baseball just got drafted by the Dodgers.
My kid’s going to the major leagues!!!
“Be careful what you wish for.”
-Martin Sheen
Hockey talking guy just called Robert Kraft Gronk’s “boss.” I guess the news ponies haven’t made it to the great white north yet.
I am going to insist that from now on we refer to Kraft as “Handjob Bob”.
Like a moth attracted to a Bud Lite Lime a Rita, Gronk is at this Bruins game.
This game is a drunk porn star?
The TAWMMYs in the bar are getting restless
Why? Did they run out of Narraganssett?
Wait until someone tells them that hockey only has three periods.
NAWT FAYUH!!
Also: That’s three past teh expiration date! – Roy M., Jeebusboro, AL
They’ll try to date it.
Three beats zero.
— Some white trash from Quincy who can find Planned Parenthood blindfolded
Just realized, since I haven’t been watching on NBC recently, that I don’t even know where half of these guy went to college or played in juniors! Someone get Pierre!
I’m old, so I need some clarification. Who or what was “yeeted” in this scenario?
I’m in Toronto tonight so I’ve ordered authentic Chinese food.*
*I specifically asked for the delivery guy to yell at me for no real reason
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0QHZXWSreM
“Hips Don’t Lie”
-Dennis remix
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8sbS7VKsaA
“Yeah, but…”
– Bill Parcells
/is that enough for the joke to make sense?
“No nooks!”
So, I am about to drive home from school, and thought I’d check the box score so far.
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Welp, might as well keep driving. No point opening the good liquor tonight.
Enjoy the parade, Internet Dad. Enjoy the riot, Boston.
Bruins playing Johansen? Well there’s your problem; dude’s gotta be in his 70’s.
I would like to apologize for that frighteningly larger-than-I-expected image.
You can say that all you want, but when she sees it she’ll know how small it is.
I really sound like Brett Favre.
For fitness purposes, (as in “if I do this I can fit mor’a nis cake in my maw”), I usually don’t drink during the week, but I will be goddamned if that includes Game 7 of the Stanley Cup.
Cheers, reprobates.
Right back at you
Los Angeles is due for a big earthquake. I’ve been feeling lots of mini-quakes lately.
It’s going to happen. You heard it here first. Hail Satan.
I get email alerts at work whenever there are quakes higher than 3.0. We have had quite a few lately, but only once above 4. A big one would need to have at least a 4.5 precede it.
Do you have earthquake insurance for your famous notebook?
When the big one comes and wipes out the power grid, my notebook and mechanical pencil will rule the city. I’ll rent out computing time on my slide-rule to the scientific community, and I’ll charge top dollar too. Cash only, please. Thank you and God Bless.
Hypothetical:
You live in LA, but youre out of the city when a quake hits, like an absurdly strong one, and pretty much wrecks where you would have been, would you legtimatley feel survivors guilt?
I wouldn’t. It’s not like I caused the earthquake personally, like I did when I…you know what, I should probably keep quiet about that.
I have so many totally awesome earthquake preparedness kits in my home and my automobile that I guarantee there will never be an earthquake while I am here. I’m traveling overseas in September so Angelenos should be prepared to die around then.
c’mon, nothing bad ever happens to the US and A in September!
The worst thing to ever happen to the USA happened on 9/11. Yes, I mean Rudy Giuliani resurrecting his career on the corpses of 343 dead firemen.
I’m actually quite surprised that this garbage administration hasn’t exhumed Bernard Kerik’s career and dusted it off. Corrupt shitbag would fit right in.
I had to pick between flying on 9/11 and on Friday the 13th. I leave LAX at 11:00PM on Friday the 13th and figure if we can take off OK I’m home free.
(note: most aircraft malfunctions occur just after take off)
Noap
No; I was bangin’ a hot MILF in Bakersfield.
If anybody needs diesel, I know a gang—guy. I know one person.
I know one person
That’s me, friend-wise.
She felt those too, then the batteries died.
I came back to the game to see charles Barkley talking about Sydney crosby
Uh… line?
Barkley still gave a more coherent analysis of a hockey game than Don Cherry has in a decade.
Certainly less overtly racist
Time to take out the trash!
I mean literally. It’s full of cat litter and trimmed fat caps from tri-tip, and it smells TERRIBLE.
I legtimatley thought that gentleman opposite of fallon and Hemsworth was rob riggle.
Its gonna be a long night
I was convinced that Rob Riggle was in the box seats in front of us at the Dead & Company show. People who we mistakenly think are Rob Riggle really get around, apparently.
Oh, those super late goals.
Brad Marchand making a terrible change leading to a goal is delicious.
Hope this ends up like the 02 Avs, losing 7-0.
ET LE BUT!!!!!!
/Blues score again
[Bruins trainers struggle to figure out how to deflate a puck]
“It’s made out of rubber, it must be possible dammit!”
Nice line change by Marchand. Important to get a rest for those last eight seconds.
NBC with the great synergy by booking noted hockey fans Kumail Nanjani and Chris Hemsworth on the night of Game 7 of the Stanley Cup.
And Charles Barkley at intermission
I’m only still awake because (i) I took nap earlier; (ii) I have #HAILGAMBLOR tto follow (1 side leading, 2 scoreless); and (iii) space gladiator Carol on Archer: 1999!
Huh. Allofasudden, Boston got the blues.
So i tuned in to see the blues score.
Guess I’m stuck here watching this
So, they have a message from Big Papi on the jumbotron for the pre-Game 7 show?
Of all the 60 year-old goalies in the NHL, Ron Bennington is by far the best.
I get the feeling one of these lazy passes the Blues keep floating in front of their own net is going to eventually backfire.
A reminder that would should never watch a Masshole-based sportsball final.
I’m in a bar here. Mostly for the people watching.
Hey, is that what I look like during P*ts playoff tilts?
uh, YES. 😀
I….well….um…. Fuck.
/we noe u meant FACK
Binnington is the only one who looks like he cares
Did someone tell any of the Blues, aside from Binnington, the game started?
St. Louis is looking seriously overmatched so far.
If the Blues don’t score first, you might has well put them on an island cause they’ll be Donne after that.
Why hasn’t anyone invented an Anthem Master 3000 robot to replace all these chumps.
[pours one out for 27-9]
Also retiring: the couch with Bruce Matthews’s ass print for all the naps he took in film study while being the Tits OL coach. Munchak didn’t fire him ‘cause they’re homies. So Munch preferred having the team suck outta loyalty. He got fired and got the rest of the money in his contract—with his cred intact.
Sucks for fans, but
Are there any ice Patriots fans here?
the author! 😀
Hey – since I was four years old. The Canucks SUCKED in the 70s.
I want the Blues to win (for obvious reasons) but also so I can ask on the team meeting tomorrow “Did anyone catch the game last night?!” and just hear the sweet, sweet silence.
the Dirt #BFIB are losing to the goddamned Fish 5-nil, so I would nae bet on it
“The two of them combined for an 80-80 record in their time at Tennessee.”
I fixed that for you. They did play in a Jeff Fisher coached era
That’s why he considers them failures.
If the game started at seven, they might actuall be playing by now.
Game 7 in Boston, huh?
Yeah, I’m pretty sure there won’t be any controversial refereeing decisions tonight. No sirree, no.
This is gonna stink.
A Boston team that depends on questionable calls that only help them? Never heard of such tomfoolery.
FACK