I don’t have anything to say this week. And if I did you wouldn’t like it anyway.
Count yourselves lucky.
–
Sports
MLB
- Atlanta @ NYM – 7:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)
- Chicago @ Cincinnati – 7:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)
That’s about it.
–
Halle Berry is a queen.
Enjoy…
Yowza. I don’t know if that table smells like berries, but I bet is smells good regardless.
Have a nice weekend everyone.
Love ya’s
–
Let’s go have a drink.
I was that drunk one time!
“Could you PLEASE wear the nurse outfit like we talked about!?”
The Baltimore Orioles defeated the Cleveland Indians tonight by a score of 13-0.
There is likely an investigation underway.
Manny Machado had an off night apparently.
Is that Convair engine?
It is!
Indeed. I have much reading to do now.
It might be a B-707.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hush_kit
Nose job?
That’s never gonna fly.
Let’s make fly.
FLY FREE DISEMBODIED COCKPIT, FLY FREEEEEEEEE!!
Comedy women get an addition of points in the hotness department, just ’cause. For my taste anyway.
Sarah is a Canadian treasure.
is Low Commander at the Dirt BOLTMEN! match? Should I wave?
yeah, some of my parenting is unorthodox
Genderella
Ghost Lusters
Girth, Wind and Fire
Great Sexpectations
Guess Who Came At Dinner
Honey, I Blew Up My Tits
Honey, I Blew Everyone
Howard Sperm’s Private Parties
Hump Up the Volume
Hung Wankenstein
Kinda warm still; need to cool down.
I would kill every last one of you for one night with Alice Eve.
Just so you know where we stand.
Shit, I’d do that for 27 seconds.
*Not sure what’d I’d do with the spare 11 seconds though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QULPnDDYcbI
Well, that’s over now. I need a nap and some water.
I am chasing down my Nyquil with Chocolate Wine. If I’m not going to get rid of this sour throat, I’m going to get too drunk to feel it.
there is a chocolate wine? You sure nobody just pooped in it?
You really know how to live; you going MILF hunting at the trailer park later?
Yes, but that’s unrelated to the wine.
A man needs a plan.
You’d be surprised how valuable a tool desperation really is.
Very few thing surprise me any more, especially when it was already in a song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hglVqACd1C8
That “joke” is way off the mark and I’m not even drinking NyQuil.
For the shorter among us.
that is legitimately disturbing
Midgets offend you?
the visual of her saying va-jay-jay steaming over and over
Maybe she can chase you around the supermarket.
That won’t work. Hippo would just run to the Pharmacy, set up camp, and beg for pills.
I would indeed run. A steaming va-jay-jay es muy peligroso!
If not a euphemism, it would be quite painful.
Maybe Brad will set you straight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8-RmxbLrS8
When I was 22 I was at a birthday party once in a mountain town, and about 10 of us had taken LSD. We went to the local bar for the evenings festivities and there was a full blown little person party going on. A conservative estimate was 15 little people total. My acid brain got locked in on how can their heads be the same size as ours but the rest be small. I was completely freaked out. My fucked brain struggled when one of my buddies was slow dancing and making out with a very good looking woman who was 4 feet tall. Normally I wouldn’t have batted an eye, high me couldn’t work out the physics should he have sex with her.
And it’s even a porn genre!
No internets in the mtns in the mid nineties. But yeah, the physics are simple. P in little v or A
Or skeevy porn shops.
I always hated being around people who were not also trippin’ nuts.
That’s quite the outfit you gots there ma’am.
if MOAR ladies dressed like that fer church, maybe I’d go
/still would prefer not
DOOOOOO EEEEET!
She’s one Halle of a woman.
once again, #BFIB are in San Diego, and I turn on the Dirt BOLTMEN! broadcast, forgetting Dick Enberg is ded.
/still better than the Birds’ crew
Man, I sure do want to get wasted tonight, even though I know I’ll regret it if I do.
I have to work at 6am tomorrow and I’ve been drinking since 3pm.
But you do you.
I did last night (at Angel Stadium) and regretted it all day.
DO IT.
SATURDAY IS MADE FOR REGRET!
Sweet Enola Gay, son!
ppl still often don’t know that The Killers are, in fact, NOT a British band.
Here’s a true Brick Meathook story:
I once stood talking to three men at a cocktail party in Washington D.C. I was a young man in my early thirties but I still looked like a high school boy. The three men were: a) Famed historian David McCullough; b) famed newspaper columnist Art Buchwald; and c) famed documentary filmmaker Charles Guggenheim. We were sipping martinis and I told them a funny story about the submarine service. We all had a good laugh, and then they banished me from their circle so that they could trade insider stock market tips.
This has been a true Brick Meathook story, although I’m only guessing at that last part.
You’re guessing that your story is a true story?
Or did you mean the penultimate thing about the stock market?
The stock market thing. They were probably actually talking about how I was threat to all three of their careers.
1776 also the number of people who actually read the whole book without skimming over most of it.
/Have fun with your all male children, you filthy submariner.
The filthiest.
To be fair, they were probably expecting something a little more, ahem, spicy after your story started out “let me tell you guys a story about something that’s long, hard, and full of seamen…”
Heck, even I want to hear more about that.
I’ll lend you my used copy of The Lexington Steele Story.
David McCullough. Sure, if you trust getting your political history of America from a Skull-and-Bones Yalie…
They COULD use an international airport.
SEXY FRIDAY MEANS AIRPLANES!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsiM1dOy7rQ
bahahaha!!!!
post debate funny:
we are all just ideas in the mind of Marianne Williamson and if she stops believing in us even for a second we’ll all vanish
THAT FUNNY STOLE MY BIT FROM LAST WEEK’S REQUEST LINE!
(which I stole from a true story from a friend in college)
I know there’s a lot of people who claim to like Trump because he’s “entertaining” (as opposed to the real reason, which is that he’s “racsexist”) but imagine how entertaining it would be if he got Joffrey’d at G20. It’s would be the most fascinating international murder mystery ever!
It’ll be the biggest thing since Dallas!
Who Shot/Stabbed/Poisoned/Disemboweled/Defenestrated DJT?
found a funny:
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Capt. Jones and I’ll be your pilot today and, uh damn that’s a lot of buttons. That’s a lot of fucking buttons
“This is the captain speaking. Thank you for flying United Airlines. Flight attendants, can you bring the booze cart back up to the cockpit? Also, outside the left-hand windows is the Grand Canyon.”
Los Donkeyfuckers are boned if this goes to pennos.
VAR 2 – CHI 0
My third favorite Berry:
Wait no I mean
Wait no I mean 134th favorite Berry
But is he a sit or a start this week?
BING!
I’ve had hangovers like that.
My second favorite Berry:
“Moar liek Rapin-yes, amirite?”
-Donald T.
Re: Ms Berry
The defense rests.
Los Donkeyfuckers’ keeper narrowly avoided nigh-certain assassination, thanks to a VAR offside call. But I am sure the cartels will be paying extra attention to el half segundo
Halle Berry was great in John Wick 3:
Her ball seeking dogs were awesome too.