Help – I’m being held hostage at a end-of-year school staff party. It’s nothing but vegetarian lasagna, quinoa salad, and “eww – this has meat in it?” It’s also the first time I get to meet a co-worker’s “partner” who is really into macramé & definitely not into showering.
As you can tell, it’s also “judgment night”, where unsolicited opinions are volunteered on the emotional development of a 50 year-old man who has been in a stable relationship longer than the three marriages of the person offering those opinions. But, since I will be selling beer all summer and not using the time off to reinforce my spiritual well-being – but not the homogeneous, heterosexual, white patriarchal spirit emboldened by Christianity, mind you – I am not living my “full life”.
And these people wonder why I don’t like hanging out with them outside work.
Tonight’s sports:
- CFL:
- Lions at Stampeders – 7:00PM | TSN
- Fútbol:
- Concacaf Copa Oro 2019:
- Haití vs. Canadá – 7:00PM | UNI / FS1 / TSN2
- México vs. Costa Rica – 9:30PM | UNI / FS1 / TSN2
- MLS:
- DC United vs. Toronto FC – 8:00PM | TSN4
- Seattle vs. Whitecaps FC – 10:00PM | TSN
- Concacaf Copa Oro 2019:
- Beisbol:
- MLB:
- One of – on FOX – 8:00PM
- Dodgers at Rockies
- Mariners at Astros
- Pirates at Brewers
- Mariners at Astros – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
- One of – on FOX – 8:00PM
- Short Season Single-A:
- Spokane at Vancouver – 10:00PM | Sportsnet Pacific
- MLB:
- MMA:
- UFC Fight Night: Ngannou vs. Dos Santos: From Minneapolis
- Prelims: 6:00PM | ESPN / TSN5
- Main Card: 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN5
- UFC Fight Night: Ngannou vs. Dos Santos: From Minneapolis
- F-1:
- Austrian Grand Prix – 9:00AM | ESPN / TSN2
If I’m not in jail for murder – and/or a hate crime, depending upon who it is – I’ll see you tomorrow night.
I survived the staff party. I worked the ball game beforehand, and showed up with a garbage bag full of popcorn. I was received like a conquering hero.
Did you do the whole “Hey I got a staff party for you right here in my pants” because that’s usually a pretty good icebreaker.
I work out of my house for a Texas-based company and have never met a single coworker in over eight years on the job. It’s heaven.
That’s the thing aboot popcorn; no one asks where it came from.
It breaks my heart to see people bought off so easily. Some manager tried that same bullshit with me when I wanted to see Honk if You’re Horny and I stood my ground.
Swear to Jebus I just saw tucker carlson in the entourage of donnie t’s visit to the Korea DMZ.
If I were there, I’d point at Tucker and yell “Hey Dear Leader…this guy says you have a small cock.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzXuCj-DXv4
Let’s move on, shall we?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0oIoR9mLwc
Is there social commentary or just vanilla hate?
Either way, not cool.
It’s from Black Sheep. He gets high before a Rock the Vote rally and humiliates his brother who’s running for governor. It’s funny in context. I’m just bored and I haven’t had a reason to post it so fuck it.
For me, it’s too much. You’ve shit on every group. I’m not judging you; I wouldn’t even if I knew you. But every group, man: the South, all minorities, and whitey. I don’t wish you ill, honest. It’s just too much.
better context here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKN6JJYIWWY
@Unsurprised: I’m with you. Fuck the white man (but not in a gay way)
Holy shit I got down-voted! I don’t even know how to do that.
It’s the Lizard People. I’m pret
I am in agreement with Don T.
Hey I plus one’d it ;oP
Those were some crazy PKs…
GO CURAÇAO!
one can get +2047 (i.e., over 20:1) on ’em winning in normal time
¡Viva México!
I’ve officially forgiven everyone. You may now proceed in life.
I’m in the notebook. I don’t need forgiveness.
But this is still nice to know.
We’re still trying to figure out what happened Brick.
Hang with us please.
Good to hear. Glad you’re back!
My high school was somewhat different.
el diaper may be shitting itself…
It’s quickly filling up.
they gets lucky
Muy lucky.
My best friend had a party. His in-law went to Cuba and brought him a bottle of Havana Club. He gave me some on the rocks and one of his neighbors asked about it. I gave the glass to the neighbor, “Have a sip”. Fucker emptied most of the drink in his glass, leaving me ice and half a finger.
Point is: I’ve seen more class on Ball So Hard University. And OF COURSE I asked for a refill. Uf. Good shit.
I believe that’s praiseworthy homicide in most of the world.
Found on reddit
Full size:
h
ttps://i.redd.it/uodslx1dtqw01.gif
That’s great.
Watching, for god only knows what reason, the latest Robin Hood movie, and not only are there more African-Americans than you would think running around in 12th century England, they also seem to have developed industrial-scale steel production a few centuries earlier than I’d been led to believe.
And, for some reason, explosives.
good summation of why I quit going to the movies
Yeah, I saw that was the New Movie on HBO tonight, and I watched soccer or baseball or MMA or anything else in the world.
Celebrating the start of my vacation with three of these and feeling pretty good right about now.
http://draftmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/3-Tree-House.jpg
I am a little sad to moving away from a place where I can Megan McCain fat jokes like anywhere and most people seem to pick it up,
take heart, she will keep being a fat loudmouth. And WE get it.
‘Glazed donut’ is a euphemism for the aftermath of cunnilingus, but it Ms. McCain’s case it’s a literal description of her breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea, dinner, and dessert.
ESPN Lady Commentator – “BUT IS BEERGUYROB LIVING HIS BEST LIFE?”
That’s a Salt Lake station. And that course is actually called Mountain Dell. Channel 2’s editorial department really went to shit when Sinclair took over.
Wow, both America’s hat and diaper could blow it today.
That is a a very specific fetish.
Then we ain’t gonna give them the wonderful USMCA!
Jeebus, Ticos. That were sad.
found a cool:
https://www.csunplugged.org/en/
Dammit! Why did I waste all that time in school when there was a web site right there?
So I just tried to change my hotel reservations in MD next month. They won’t let me without a penalty. So I’m keeping it as is. Which means I’ll probably cross paths (several times) with Gerald’s caretaker.
I smell a BoTG post!!!!!!!!
Also, the former tWLS msg’d me earlier and told me she might be able to get to MD in July.
It’s getting curiouser and curiouser.
So wait, how does this work?
If you’re going backwards in the series, but then start a new one, does that get injected straight away? Or is everything new(ish) saved for the end? If so, is it then also in reverse chronological order or in normal order?
Time is…like…an illusion maaaaaan.
This is going to be like the worst episode of ‘Westworld’ ever, but with more bloodshed.
Yeah, I heard he doesn’t take any weeks off.
I dunno. We’ll figure it out together.
And Gerald too!
Bring him a bottle of freezer vodka and all your problems will be solved.
LOL
I may dance nekkid in the streets if Cure-a-SOW beats the bastard Murricans tomorrow.
Trayter!
It would be so hilarious, I’d pee myself.
“When and where?”
– D. Trump
What are we curing Son of Whyachi of?
I just checked my mail and my CBD gummies were delivered by the USPS.
It’s truly a golden time to be alive.
ok, Mexico, your turn in the barrel
they usually let ppl thru their defense smdh
Unfuckingbelievable. Fucking hell. Just fuck everything.
Wouw!
My working theory is that Canadians need ice to be good at sports.
Haiti is using the Kick It Really High In The Air technique!
I was painting trim again (Not the good kind) and in the time I was painting, Haiti scored 3 goals. WTF?!?
Painting trim sounds like a euphemism.
Just saying.
It would be nice if that was the case…
Put Deciltre to sleep 2-1 us. Just comr back what in the everloving fuck?????
The baked potato is vastly underrated as a customizable starch.
God damn that was a tasty dinner.
Thanks for the crowd sourced inspiration.
Now it’s summer.
oh, Canadia. That had to leave a mark.
The Baltimore Orioles beat the Cleveland Indians again today, by the same score as yesterday, 13-0.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE THIS IS THE END OF DAYS.
Update: The hats have collapsed.
at least it was a white guy’s fault, eh Don Cherry??
I do enjoy how these various contests all have differing extra time rules.
What the fuck was that???????? Fucking pinheads.
Canadia gives up a goal because soccer-wise, we are a 4th world nation.
hoping not stuck with Canadia Reacts Reasonably
/naps are great, BTW
Is there a chance that having legal weed here in New England now has made New Englander’s nicer, friendlier, and calmer people?
That’s probably true of everywhere that has legal weed.
No.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
/pauses for breath
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
No.
don’t challenge mah Yankee stereotypes MOAR than Horatio already done
Shithole country down 2-0.
-Conservatives across America
The Hats are looking good.
Mmm…The Hat…
–
OK, gotta go buy food. I didn’t think eating hot dogs and potato salad which had been sitting in the sun for hours was a particularly good idea.
Oh gotta hit the booze store too.
ONLINE HOST: You are now enemies with user ANDY REID
found a funny:
is your name melissa?
“yes”
are you married?
“to you sadly”
yes or no please
“yes”
do you like the lie detector I bought for your birthday?
Johnathan David is a total Gentelman.
CANUCKIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Could be worse Rob. You could have been held hostage at the next door neighbour’s grandkids’ graduation party. And when I say “Graduation”, I mean these two kids (fraternal twins, boy and girl) graduated from (wait for it)….
Preschool. And will be matriculating to kindergarten next year.
SERIOUSLY DOES THAT WARRANT A PARTY I HAVE TO ATTEND??????
I liked it better when my neighbours hated me.
Anyway, that was my afternoon.
There are 2 grads. High school and Uni. You want to finger bang Becki on a park bench in 8th grade? Congrats you did it at a school sponsored class party.
THANK YOU!!!!!!
You had all afternoon to change your neighboUrs minds going forward.
Mom would have been mad, so I kept my mouth shut today.
But it’ll happen. I’m a dick.
I forgive them if they have good booze.
CANADIA CANADIA! BEAT THE PAPA DOCS LIKE COLONIZATION BEAT YOUR TREE LINE!!!!
If Nietzche was right about God being dead in 1882, how much longer are fundamentalists going to keep raping his bloated, decaying corpse?
And Senor/Horatio/Ian get to exhale after that bananacakes game. I’m at a cousin’s HS grad party anyway.
Dinner has been decided. I’m firing up the grill and grilling some pork chops and corn on the cob. Baked potatoes going in the oven and copious amounts of cold frosty beverages.
Happy summer all!
I’m having chili dogs! I am undecided as to whether or not I will make mango sangria tonight.
Chili Dogs you say?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gACs-_hdOok
Is there any below average 90’s band that you don’t like?
/asking for the entire commentariat
Probably not.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=If9fC9aJd-U
I’m glad my Spanish ancestors are dead.
Unrelated: sangría de mangó sounds intriguing.
Chili dogs sound amazing. If I didn’t have to work on July 5th I would have them on the 4th.
I’m doing my employees a favor.