AFL Beat 2019 Round 16

This week,

That’s NOT the ball you’re looking for…
I’m with the Doggy in the background, that’s an impressive mark.

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

Round 16 Recaps and Highlights

You know, I LOVE our normal schedule of one Australian Friday Night game (North American Thursday night), five Australian Saturday games (North American Friday night/Saturday morning), and three Australian Sunday games (North American Saturday night/Sunday morning), but it gets annoying when my Cats play in the middle of the night. But enough about me.

This week, the first game had the Hawthorn Hawks meeting the Collingwood Magpies at their common home of the MCG. This would be a tough and close game throughout.

I was able to catch almost the entire second half as I was getting ready for work. The Hawks outplayed the Pies in the fourth quarter and that was really the difference in the game. They get the four points and all of a sudden, the Pies are looking vulnerable.

Here are the full game highlights:

Hawthorn Hawks 67 Collingwood Magpies 63

The proper Friday Night game had the surging Essendon Bombers taking on the Sydney Swans who, as I’ve mentioned often, play better on the road. Well, the Bombers outplayed the Swans this time and were able to get the four points after a tough well-fought game.

The Bombers are now in 9th, only percentage points behind a finals spot.

Here are the full-game highlights:

Essendon Bombers 76 Sydney Swans 66

Later, the Richmond Tigers traveled to the Gold Coast to take on the Suns and you would be forgiven if you thought they went there on holiday.

The Tigers absolutely destroyed the Suns and beat them by almost a hundred.

Here are the full-game highlights:

Gold Coast Suns 58 Richmond Tigers 150

Even later on Friday night, we had episode 47 of the Adelaide Derby, known as The Showdown. Traditionally, these are close and hard-fought contests. Well, this time the Power took it to the Crows in a brilliant second half that turned a close game at half into a rout.

Here are the highlights:

Adelaide Crows 44 Port Adelaide Power 101

The first of the two late late Friday night games had my Geelong Cats going up the highway to Melbourne to take on the Doggies at Marvel Stadium.

You know? Sometimes it’s a good thing that the games are on in the middle of the night and I can’t see them live. I’m sure I would have been extremely frustrated to see the Cats give up a Three Quarter Time lead and lose the game by 16.

Well done to the Doggies, though, who are all of a sudden back in the finals conversation.

Here are the full-game highlights:

Western Bulldogs 71 Geelong Cats 55

The last game of the night offered up another Derby. This time, it was the Perth Derby between Fremantle and West Coast.

Like The Showdown, this one turned into a rout. Unlike the Showdown, the losing team hung in there for about a quarter until the floodgates opened. The Eagles’ big win vaults them to second place while the Dockers fall down the ladder and out of the Eight.

Here are the full-game highlights:

Fremantle Dockers 31 West Coast Eagles 122

I was able to watch a little bit of the Carlton-Melbourne game on Saturday night and, by all rights, I thought it was going to be a Demons blowout, so I turned it off.

For about three quarters, I was right, as the Demons kept the Blues at bay and led by as many as 36 points.

However, something happened in the fourth quarter and the Blues all of a sudden started playing well and mounted a comeback and took the lead! It came down to the last two minutes:

That one had to hurt for Carlton. Here are the full-game highlights:

Carlton Blues 100 Melbourne Demons 105

The second of the Saturday night games had the North Melbourne Kangaroos “hosting” the St. Kilda Saints in Tasmania, where they always play well.

That trend continued as a brilliant and dominating first quarter from the Roos effectively decided the outcome. The Roos are all the way back in the mix for finals action while the Saints continue sliding down the ladder.

Here are the full-game highlights:

North Melbourne Kangaroos 112 St. Kilda Saints 73

The last game of the Round was probably the most intriguing as the Giants were looking to right the ship and get a vital home win against the Brisbane Lions. The Lions themselves were looking to show that they are for real and should be a force to reckon with come finals time.

Similarly to the Roos-Saints game, a strong first quarter from the Lions set the tone for the entire game. The Giants were never really able to bounce back and so the Lions took home an impressive and important road win against a Top Four team.

Now, the Lions are a Top Four team and the Giants are looking from the outside in.

Here are the full-game highlights:

GWS Giants 74 Brisbane Lions 94

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

1Geelong Cats123048140.6
2West Coast Eagles114044114.3
3Collingwood Magpies105040118.3
4Brisbane Lions105040111.5
5GWS Giants96036125.4
6Richmond Tigers96036103.0
7Port Adelaide Power87032110.3
8Adelaide Crows87032105.0
9Essendon Bombers87032102.1
10North Melbourne Kangaroos7802899.8
11Fremantle Dockers7802898.4
12Western Bulldogs7802893.9
13Hawthorn Hawks6902497.4
14Sydney Swans6902495.6
15St. Kilda Saints6902480.7
16Melbourne Demons51002079.9
17Carlton Blues31201281.8
18Gold Coast Suns31201267.1

Here is the Balls Graph:

Download (PDF, 251KB)

This week gave us some surprises with blowouts where we didn’t expect them and clutch victories by teams looking to prove that they belong in finals.

The battle for the last few spots in the Eight is already being waged and it will be interesting to see if the teams that won this week can continue the momentum or if other teams will stake their claim.


Footy Tipping Contest

Here is where we are after Round Sixteen:

Total TipsTotal Margin
2Son Of Spam51988442
5BC Dick42079536
6Dolph Ucker41976443
7Why Eagles Why33374429
8Game Time Decision32573486
9Yeah Right35773627
10Sharkbait5469 (NICE)716
11Joliet Jake Delhomme53068551

Congratulations to Sharkbait, who has a very nice score. That joke was a shoutout to Scotchy, who hates the 69 jokes.

Overall, the positions didn’t change too much. Well done to BFC and Litre_cola, who shared high scores this week!



AFL Round 17

Here is the schedule for this week (all times Pacific):

Friday, July 12, 2019

3:10 AM (Late Thursday Night!) -West Coast Eagles v Collingwood Magpies at Optus Stadium

The Pies are reeling while the Eagles are re-finding their Grand Final-winning form. This does not bode well for the Pies.

8:45 PM – Sydney Swans v Carlton Blues at the SCG

The Swans are flying and the Blues… not so much. Could the Blues pull the upset? Could I have sex with a hot Australian movie star?

9:10 PM – Hawthorn Hawks v Fremantle Dockers at University of Tasmania Stadium

The Hawks have been playing well of late and the Dockers will have to play their best to survive this test on the other side of the country.

11:35 PM – Essendon Bombers v North Melbourne Kangaroos at Marvel Stadium

This game is Al Michaels YUUUGE in the race for the finals positions. The winner will take a giant step towards finals.

Saturday, July 13, 2019

2:25 AM – Gold Coast Suns v Adelaide Crows at Metricon Stadium

This one is a battle of teams playing very poorly. One has to win, but it won’t necessarily mean they are turning their season around.

2:25 AM – Geelong Cats v St. Kilda Saints at GMHBA Stadium

The Cats have not been playing well lately yet are still a game clear of the Eagles. They need to win this to stay ahead of them.

8:10 PM – Richmond Tigers v GWS Giants at the MCG

The Giants are in disarray and if there was a ever a big test prior to finals, this is it. They HAVE to rebound or all the doubts will come to the forefront.

10:20 PM – Western Bulldogs v Melbourne Demons at Marvel Stadium

The Doggies are quietly mounting a finals run. A win against the lowly Demons should boost their chances.

11:40 PM – Port Adelaide Power v Brisbane Lions at Adelaide Oval

This is the Match of The Round. The Lions aced their test against the Giants on the road. Can they do it two weeks in a row?


That’s all for this week! We are getting down to the tail end of the season with only seven games left. Every game is crucial. Time to tune in!

See you next week!




International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Balls went through an immense amount of time and effort a few years ago doing a “What Team Should You Root For?” series. And they are gold. But I haven’t quite found a team/fanbase that resonates with me.

Is there a team whose fans would understand the beauty of getting shitfaced and powerbombing a flaming folding table in half in a pregame parking lot?*

*NOTE: that is to say destructive, but in a mostly-cheerful/mostly-non-angry way.


What’s the appropriate amount to tip movers?


Depends on how long they’re there but at least $20 each, IMHO

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

At least $20 per head sounds about right. I would also account for conditions. A 3-hour move in nice weather is a lot different than a 3-hour move when it’s 95 out.

I guess in Vegas that’s probably so common though that it may not count


That GWS game sucked and was even less close than the score indicated. GWS got out kicked, hustled, rucked, worked, everything. Team seems different without Whitfield and DeBoer, and Kelly left with ice on his leg in the fourth, so Lord knows if they’ll ever be healthy, but that won’t matter if Finlayson keeps disappearing and the defense forgets how to play like they did the first half of the season.


How can you hate 69 jokes?


Could get stuck in your throat



King Hippo

Funny discovery of the morning – I apparently rocketed up to 7th in the FIFA pool (that Litre fucking DOMINATED), getting 166 points from the final.

I had predicted NED 2, Murrika nil. Got both prop bets wrong.

King Hippo

screwed out of 16th position ,, smgdh